Viking

I get what he's trying to say, but us helping him broaden his worldview has nothing to do with us being him. I feel like that statement comes from a belief and not present experience.

lol you're delusional bro

didnt understand any sentence you wrote

I agree, I think the most accurate state to be in is "dont know".

that's precisely why you need self actualization, there is no "real", and you gotta know how to cope with that. If you're not gonna self actualize psychedelics can turn you into a lunatic easier. I realize that also with self actualization it's dangerous, and caution is needed, but with enough caution and wisdom you can extract a lot of positive life changes without obtaining delusions.

I feel like they are attached to their meanings and identity, hence the "problems" arise. "how do i communicate X", "how do i make the world a better place"... they create the dark side out of ignorance. psychedelics are insanely dangerous without self actualization.

@ULFBERHT i also didnt have anything too spectacular during the concentration and ive been doing it for 2 months.

wow that's such a great topic, I know I held as belief some stuff that Leo said and it had bitten me in the ass. it wasnt that i was gullible or something, I was just lazy to think for myself. The reason you cant take on belief unconsciously anything anyone says, even if it may be correct, is because you might not understand what the person meant! which means you believe something that's not true!

higher consciousness, still mind and mastery. a few days after the afterglow of my last lsd trip I felt extremely creative. I think that is because of the higher consciousness and because of the clear mind-state i was in. I got answers to a lot of questions and organized my mind, so it was still. Try journaling, it really helps to clear the mind, it's similar to how people puke in ayahuasca trips, you just spew all that shit out of you and your mind becomes still. meditation and yoga also help. mastery is an important aspect of creativity, as when your mind works from the frame of a certain subject, you're more likely to make "creative" ideas. by creative here i mean that i will look from other people's perspective as though its extremely creative and how could you think about that, but to you it would be obvious, it would be connected. knowing a lot of different things also helps because you may see connections others dont also.

while watching leo's part 2 of his retreat, he mentioned the absolute nonduality/singularity experience, and suddenly it clicked for me, i became conscious that everything is utterly meaningless. this is different from knowing intellectually that everything is meaningless, which i knew so far. I felt fear engulfing me a little, my heart beating, a lot of stuff from my life situation came to mind and i realized its utterly meaningless. I felt like I was losing control a little, but i surrendered to all the fear, let it go and it kinda passed. it was a fun experience in retrospect (i actually enjoyed the fear a little, masochistically lol, made me feel alive) and a bit of an insightful one, because I saw another example of the difference between knowing something intellectually and really getting it. I feel like maybe the effects of the kriya yoga are coming into play. ive been doing it for 2 months now, and sometimes I feel like everything is very still, and I feel kind of soft and flowing sensations in the back of my head that come with that stillness. I have an intuition that it makes me become more aware of my thoughts, emotions and feelings, and is making me able to "manipulate" consciousness in a subtle way (dunno how to explain it). I think that contributed to that realization.

that is kinda what it feels like, thank you for your answer

I think you will figure that out by asking yourself, inner guru. other's answers are as arbitrary as yours.

because it feels good i guess. or because it's for the sake of itself, like play. I dont know, maybe i can, but i dont know how, i cant force myself to like something

but my desires dont depend on me

but how do i search for meaning and know that meaning is made by me?

that's what ive been planning

im feeling now like nothing is really interesting. when i look back at my life i always tried to force interest. When i've seen something that had a potential of being interesting, i acted as though it was interesting and in my mind i was telling myself it's interesting, but i was never really in awe, never, as far as i can remember. i dont really care and didnt really care about anything deeply and consciously. For example when i heared of quantum mechanics for the first time, i thought it was interesting, but i didnt have that "holy shit" experience. I might have said to myself "holy shit", but that didnt feel honest, i didnt actually get mindfucked. fuck, even when i took lsd for the first time i wasnt impressed too much, i would imagine that for most other people it would be mind-blowing, but i took it as indeed interesting, but not something mindfucking/mindblowing. Im connecting that to the concept of maslow's hierarchy of needs, and i notice that as far as ive got in the hierarchy is the safety part. i dont experience any love nor self respect what so ever. i do have sometimes deep compassion for people but it's not it. maybe because of that, nothing is really interesting? I notice love, sexuality and the concept of orgasmic spiritual experiences (i didnt have any) is what's really in my desires, and less the high consciousness stuff. I've become conscious enough to the point where i can tell somewhat subtle subconscious reactions of my body and mind to daily situations. for example my subconscious craves for sex and intimacy a lot, like constantly checking girls out and having unconscious sexual fantasies that i become aware of usually in retrospect. it makes my mind criticize myself a lot, i notice the self deprecating thoughts and jealousies very well. sometimes the sexual cravings become too much and the masturbation comes on to the conscious mind and i think consciously i have to masturbate, although that's because i dont really know what to do with that and i dont want to suffer repressing it. what i plan to do about it is to work on my self esteem in the near future, after i finish reading the sedona method. i cant do anything about the sexuality and love part because i dont have the self esteem for it, and i dont know how to approach it, maybe because of my ego, saying "i dont want love, who needs that, i can do fine by myself", while the subconscious tells other stories. my question is. is that logical or am i deceiving myself somewhere here? is the plan alright? and a big problem i face is that i have little motivation for my studies, because of what i mentioned earlier, and because im in the middle of the life purpose course. i feel like i have to get my basic needs in order, then the studies will theoretically interest me, but i barely have time to get them in order because i study, is there something i can do to have motivation?

is it achievable only with those 2?

what is the point of kriya? i mean why does it work? what should happen? does breathing up and down the spine calm the monkey mind and lets you concentrate and enter samadhi? that's it? or can it make some energies really intense in the body? i had some mild energy-like feelings. i didnt have too extraordinary experiences and im doing the practice for 2 months, im afraid i might be doing something wrong because my breathing is not in best shape, i often get lost in thought in the middle of the practice and during the concentration.

@pluto unfortunately i cant be excited about spiritual stuff because im afraid to fall into beliefs. truth is more important to me than cool experiences.

i didnt have any expectations

start reading books. leo's booklist is great. one book id recommend is "the sedona method" it offers ways to let go and surrender, usually what you have to do with fears like you have. i started being scared of going psychotic because i started to hear sounds while meditating, but i just surrendered that fear and it barely happens anymore, and i dont fear.

i also did one meditation like that but didnt feel anything afterwards. that just means that its personal.

that's it, it's pretty simple, gratitude is one of the most powerful sources of happiness. (though for me it's insanely hard)

I dont have much personal experience, but he pointed that out in his video that his previous experiences helped him. I think (my opinion, didnt experience anything, again) that you need to experience enlightenment/truth/god a few times to be able to surrender. i think mostly enlightenment doesnt come with a bang, but slowly. Leo experienced a lot of god states using psychedelics and ordinary glimpses, my guess would be the more you have them the easier it will be to surrender. maybe try psychedelics if you havent already. aside from that, that is again my opinion, that fulfillment is not binary. you can have various levels of fulfillment. im sure you felt very fulfilled a lot of times in your life and didnt notice it, because we're usually not fulfilled when we think of some desire or "i want to be fulfilled". notice that enlightenment is the absence of unfulfillment, and not fulfillment. think about this sentence: do you actually believe it? where did you get that belief? seems like a bunch of bullshit to me tbh. if you havent already maybe try a vipassana retreat and see maybe how fulfilled you can be.