Viking

im doing nadi sodhana, ujjayi pranayama, the tongue thing, then maha mudra, om japa, do the pranayama for 12 sets and concentration 5 min. yeah, during om japa and the pranayama im pulling the energy to bindu, that's probably it

yeah, mood changes and tingling are a thing, what am i supposed to do? i just do yoga once a day, maybe meditate

try psychedelics. my guess is that they will show you how you're lying to yourself about needing to know yourself and will show you what the real problem is.

do you mean i can consciously overheat my lightbulb? so far that energy isnt much under my control really, for example i went for a nap yesterday at around 1pm and i had pretty intense energy rushes all over my body, for a few seconds, without my control. the palm of my hand moved 2 times without my control for a split second too. I feel like i can also consciously control that energy right now, like move it around in my body, without breath control. though there is energy im not in control of, a lot of times (most of the time) i have energy in the back of the head, and it makes me feel very tired, i can consciously move it to my heart for example, but it returns to the head, or there is some residue in the head. what do you mean by regulate it? what am i supposed to do with it? im mostly unaware of it.

i feel like this thread should be in the "life purpose" section and btw in that section there's a lot of stuff that might help you.

lmao im starting to get a little depressed because im starting slowly to become conscious of the meaninglessness of life. the fact that the present moment is all there is, is a bit scary and alienating. Im not sure whether i'd attribute it 100% to the kriya, but it feels like to me, like im experiencing consciousness changes. If you would want to really advance i guess you would have to go through some form of it anyway at some point, there is nothing to fear though, after that hump everything will be much better.

I get what he's trying to say, but us helping him broaden his worldview has nothing to do with us being him. I feel like that statement comes from a belief and not present experience.

lol you're delusional bro

didnt understand any sentence you wrote

I agree, I think the most accurate state to be in is "dont know".

that's precisely why you need self actualization, there is no "real", and you gotta know how to cope with that. If you're not gonna self actualize psychedelics can turn you into a lunatic easier. I realize that also with self actualization it's dangerous, and caution is needed, but with enough caution and wisdom you can extract a lot of positive life changes without obtaining delusions.

I feel like they are attached to their meanings and identity, hence the "problems" arise. "how do i communicate X", "how do i make the world a better place"... they create the dark side out of ignorance. psychedelics are insanely dangerous without self actualization.

@ULFBERHT i also didnt have anything too spectacular during the concentration and ive been doing it for 2 months.

wow that's such a great topic, I know I held as belief some stuff that Leo said and it had bitten me in the ass. it wasnt that i was gullible or something, I was just lazy to think for myself. The reason you cant take on belief unconsciously anything anyone says, even if it may be correct, is because you might not understand what the person meant! which means you believe something that's not true!

higher consciousness, still mind and mastery. a few days after the afterglow of my last lsd trip I felt extremely creative. I think that is because of the higher consciousness and because of the clear mind-state i was in. I got answers to a lot of questions and organized my mind, so it was still. Try journaling, it really helps to clear the mind, it's similar to how people puke in ayahuasca trips, you just spew all that shit out of you and your mind becomes still. meditation and yoga also help. mastery is an important aspect of creativity, as when your mind works from the frame of a certain subject, you're more likely to make "creative" ideas. by creative here i mean that i will look from other people's perspective as though its extremely creative and how could you think about that, but to you it would be obvious, it would be connected. knowing a lot of different things also helps because you may see connections others dont also.

while watching leo's part 2 of his retreat, he mentioned the absolute nonduality/singularity experience, and suddenly it clicked for me, i became conscious that everything is utterly meaningless. this is different from knowing intellectually that everything is meaningless, which i knew so far. I felt fear engulfing me a little, my heart beating, a lot of stuff from my life situation came to mind and i realized its utterly meaningless. I felt like I was losing control a little, but i surrendered to all the fear, let it go and it kinda passed. it was a fun experience in retrospect (i actually enjoyed the fear a little, masochistically lol, made me feel alive) and a bit of an insightful one, because I saw another example of the difference between knowing something intellectually and really getting it. I feel like maybe the effects of the kriya yoga are coming into play. ive been doing it for 2 months now, and sometimes I feel like everything is very still, and I feel kind of soft and flowing sensations in the back of my head that come with that stillness. I have an intuition that it makes me become more aware of my thoughts, emotions and feelings, and is making me able to "manipulate" consciousness in a subtle way (dunno how to explain it). I think that contributed to that realization.

that is kinda what it feels like, thank you for your answer

I think you will figure that out by asking yourself, inner guru. other's answers are as arbitrary as yours.

because it feels good i guess. or because it's for the sake of itself, like play. I dont know, maybe i can, but i dont know how, i cant force myself to like something

but my desires dont depend on me

but how do i search for meaning and know that meaning is made by me?

that's what ive been planning

im feeling now like nothing is really interesting. when i look back at my life i always tried to force interest. When i've seen something that had a potential of being interesting, i acted as though it was interesting and in my mind i was telling myself it's interesting, but i was never really in awe, never, as far as i can remember. i dont really care and didnt really care about anything deeply and consciously. For example when i heared of quantum mechanics for the first time, i thought it was interesting, but i didnt have that "holy shit" experience. I might have said to myself "holy shit", but that didnt feel honest, i didnt actually get mindfucked. fuck, even when i took lsd for the first time i wasnt impressed too much, i would imagine that for most other people it would be mind-blowing, but i took it as indeed interesting, but not something mindfucking/mindblowing. Im connecting that to the concept of maslow's hierarchy of needs, and i notice that as far as ive got in the hierarchy is the safety part. i dont experience any love nor self respect what so ever. i do have sometimes deep compassion for people but it's not it. maybe because of that, nothing is really interesting? I notice love, sexuality and the concept of orgasmic spiritual experiences (i didnt have any) is what's really in my desires, and less the high consciousness stuff. I've become conscious enough to the point where i can tell somewhat subtle subconscious reactions of my body and mind to daily situations. for example my subconscious craves for sex and intimacy a lot, like constantly checking girls out and having unconscious sexual fantasies that i become aware of usually in retrospect. it makes my mind criticize myself a lot, i notice the self deprecating thoughts and jealousies very well. sometimes the sexual cravings become too much and the masturbation comes on to the conscious mind and i think consciously i have to masturbate, although that's because i dont really know what to do with that and i dont want to suffer repressing it. what i plan to do about it is to work on my self esteem in the near future, after i finish reading the sedona method. i cant do anything about the sexuality and love part because i dont have the self esteem for it, and i dont know how to approach it, maybe because of my ego, saying "i dont want love, who needs that, i can do fine by myself", while the subconscious tells other stories. my question is. is that logical or am i deceiving myself somewhere here? is the plan alright? and a big problem i face is that i have little motivation for my studies, because of what i mentioned earlier, and because im in the middle of the life purpose course. i feel like i have to get my basic needs in order, then the studies will theoretically interest me, but i barely have time to get them in order because i study, is there something i can do to have motivation?

is it achievable only with those 2?

what is the point of kriya? i mean why does it work? what should happen? does breathing up and down the spine calm the monkey mind and lets you concentrate and enter samadhi? that's it? or can it make some energies really intense in the body? i had some mild energy-like feelings. i didnt have too extraordinary experiences and im doing the practice for 2 months, im afraid i might be doing something wrong because my breathing is not in best shape, i often get lost in thought in the middle of the practice and during the concentration.