Viking

@Salvijus wow thanks, i didnt know that, I think ill try to add shambhavi, but first ill see how it fits.

@Salvijus i see, what kriya practices do you consider "for happiness'? and where do i learn them? and what is precisely "happiness"? thanks for showing me it this way, maybe it is an exponential process

@Salvijus if you were talking to me, I do according to the kriya secrets book, mainly mahamudra and pranayama

isnt it a book that talks about different schools of yoga, and not much techniques are presented? I know theres this another book which has "distilled" techniques as leo put it.

there are barely any proper kriya gurus, most are bad, and especially in my area. @Paan @okulele ill try doing the practice daily until christmas, but how will i know that it works and im not just wasting a hour out of my morning every morning? will I see some lights/feelings/whatever? what I feel like will happen is in 6 months the practice will be exactly the same and nothing will occur.

@Erlend K well, do you think sadhguru ever suffers? or is he not in perpetual bliss? What I mean is suppose someone grows a lot in an ashram or something, doesnt suffer, is in perpetual bliss as long as he's in the ashram. If he gets out of the ashram and continues to practice and try to grow, will he go back to his old ways?

i think i will drop the kriya routine for a few reasons: I feel dread in the mornings when i think i should do the practice. it makes it harder to wake up and if i feel that it means something's up. ive been doing the kriya for 2 months without missing a single day and my concentration session is as poor as it was the first day, i cant concentrate for 5 minutes, and especially on a space im not sure about the location of. also i didnt notice any noteworthy results whatsoever. i have a feeling like im half assing the routine but i have no idea how to improve. im trying my best but i still get lost in thought a lot throughout the sessions and im doing the techniques automatically. i don't think i do the techniques well enough as they should be done, even after 2 months. there is too much conflicting information, and since the book doesnt describe the techniques properly, i dont know what variations to do. i dont have the intuitive capabilities required (inner guru) to decide. maybe the practice is not for everyone, maybe ill come back to it once i will mature.

@Erlend K that i know more or less, though will i be able to sustain it is the question.

how does the moon drop itself? also isnt the sun the same thing as the moon? I like the analogy though, makes stuff clearer

lol, finding meaning in non duality? the essence of non duality is that nothing has meaning. spirituality is not an activity in life like football, work, relationships, etc. but it is a way of living life, living those relationships, living that football watching.

Great post, I think I had a tiny glimpse of what turquoise might look like for the first time. Thanks.

Does enjoyment of life just comes with time? as I meditate and do yoga? is there something more to do than to meditate and do yoga?

@NoSelfSelf @Torkys @cirkussmile thank you, i will come to this post again and again until it will finally click

@cirkussmile I think most of my suffering is not arising out of resistance to circumstances but out of not doing what I think I should be doing because it's uncomfortable. but how do I get there? For example whats relevant for me right now is when I study I feel emotional pain, it feels natural that I would wish for there not to be pain and to feel pleasant emotions. Am I suffering because im wishing for there not to be pain? how do I get rid of that wish? I can see that, when for example I interact with people positively I feel a certain connection/love.

thanks, I will try to be mindful and see when I suffer

@Torkys I dont fully understand what you mean by boundaries. and what you mean I guess is "listening to the inner guru". in that case I have no idea how to do that, I remember after an lsd trip I was able to, when my mind was clear, but it faded as my mind started to pollute.

then I have no idea what it is nor how to feel it. i dont understand good question. I have no idea how to describe it, but I can give examples. it's like when I can just be and not need anything, im actually cool with the present moment and i dont want the future. i remember for example when i was a kid and i went with my parents to a hotel with pools and food and stuff, it's not that the material things made me enjoy it, but the atmosphere/vibe and the aliveness/calm I felt there, watching the sunset near the pool and I felt like the moment was perfect. another example is during my teenage years I had friends and sometimes rarely I was having real fun with them playing video games or hanging out, I also didnt need anything else in the moment, though that was with dependence on circumstances, the hotel thing was also like that. and how in the world does one do that, if not with techniques? what is true spirituality? retreating to a buddhist monastery? retreating to a cave?

you need circumstances for that, like other people to love. and how do you get that?

It's not all the time like that, it's not even often, actually it happened just a few times, but it makes me very scared. It usually happens when I try to go to sleep, my mind just starts thinking, imagining, and it cant stop. It starts to imagine objects, sounds, situations, sometimes rapidly, I start to think about that and it keeps the cycle on. I try to calm my mind like in meditation, be aware of breath or something, but that also perpetuates it. whatever I try or dont try to do it just keeps going. sometimes I get scared of it and it perpetuates it even further. It happened most notably the night after I have taken LSD and a day after LSA. it's 2AM right now for me, it happened just now and in the midst of it the idea popped into my mind to ask about it here. believe it or not but tonight is a little bit special, I havent masturbated in 3 days. usually I just dampen my system with masturbation almost every day but I happened to not do it because i got sick of it a little already. Every emotion feels intense, I feel a constant 24/7 pressure in my chest and sometimes in the back of my head, I feel a little more creative and I have more insights than usual. my guess all this happens because of that, maybe i will just continue masturbating because I cant control the energy. How do I go about this? how do I control that without masturbating? my guess is I need to continue doing yoga and to continue meditating, but it seems like it doesnt do anything.

haha thanks, after I wrote this post I watched some youtube videos, masturbated lmao and it went away. I guess I cant have too much energy in the body until I have more control.

but i fear that if i let it go on something bad is going to happen.

sometimes when i meditate and i clasp the hands in the middle, after a while into the meditation i feel like my arms are to the sides and not in the middle. its as if i can see from the perspective of my left brain and feel like my right arm is far left and the same for the left arm, it feels as if its far to the right. when i open my eyes, until i look at my hands or move them i feel this way. its scaring me in the meditation because im afraid ill get stuck with this perception and wont be able to function normally later so it messes my meditation up. have someone encountered this?

it happened without lsd also regarding the whole anti psychedelics thing, im not sure whether i should take them. theyre making me so free of my mental constructs, i feel like i would be doomed without them. ive taken lsd only once, and in that time i realized how much in a bubble i am and seen life from a new perspective which helped me decide better what to do. normal brain function is so crippling. on the other hand its true that insights dont last but its an extremely useful tool to refresh your brain from all the bullshit you put into it.

well, try to be more mindful, and if it goes away so be it. the most important part is if u recognize it and become aware that you resist, let go.

they are. i recommend the booklist highly btw.