Viking

i feel stuck all my hobbies i used to have became boring. on one hand i need to find hobbies to enjoy because i dont have any. the whole point of hobbies is to enjoy doing them. on the other hand to get a new hobby i need to put in a lot of effort, which is not enjoyable, and usually what happens is that i just force myself to do it so it ends up not being enjoyable, defying the whole purpose of a hobbie. how do i resolve this?

pretty simple. just things i could occupy my time with while enjoying. also maybe life purpose/wisdom eventually, as inquiring into metaphysical matters could be considered a hobby, but as of now i derive no enjoyment from these things so i need to start somewhere

@AlphaAbundance for me hobbies arent just that, but a starting point from which to achieve all of the above. u saw i included reading as my hobbies and youtube. they encapsulated a lot of what you're talking about. hobbies for me eventually turn into passion and life purpose so its not just "hobbies"

@BlackMaze@Soulbass My hobbies were: Tv shows - My whole life I've been a huge fan of tv shows but now they're predictable and only rarely do i find something worth watching that keeps me watching. Youtube - Used to watch a lot of varied content, and still do, but also very rarely, as most things got predictable/repetitive. Videogames - My access has been cut off to them due to lack of a gaming PC but when I do have the chance they're sometimes entertaining, but only if they're extremely challenging like dark souls or dota, as I have the possibility to improve and overcome the challenge. Basically the rush of succeeding at something challenging. But back in the day i remember when i played videogames often they got also boring because maybe the effort required to further advance was too high and i wasnt committed enough. I thought if I put that much effort into something I might as well put the effort into something more worthwhile and not as limited as a videogame, and since, ive been breaking my mind what could i put that much effort in. I thought about coding, as i was good at it in highschool and maybe it could end up being more useful, and i tried and it was slightly entertaining. The problem came when i finished a coding session and when i thought some time later about doing another one it felt like a drag as the reward felt too small and i couldn't come up with things to code. it also felt pointless, i started asking myself why do i do it. just coding something random without direction felt too pointless and my motivation was gone very fast. i thought about just forcing it but the pointlessness is too strong that i cant bring myself to. (and from experience in other things if i force myself to do it ill hate doing it) i thought about reading books and i actually read quite a bit of books (kind of proud of myself) (though didnt finish a big percentage of them), some from Leo's booklist, but i dont really enjoy doing it. it feels more like a chore and as a means to an end, to fix some problem in my life, and often i feel too overloaded with information for it to be worthwhile. also comes the thing with the tv shows and youtube that stuff starts to feel repetitive. i thought about building electronic things but my imagination fell short and i was frustrated quickly as i was thinking what to do. i have a bachelors of physics so i thoguht about studying it some more and i did try but it also feels directionless and pointless like the coding so i didnt get far as i quit. basically i cant stick with things because they feel mostly pointless/directionless or i lack imagination or i feel overwhelmed with the options i have so i end up paralyzed. i didnt find anything as engaging and consistent as videogames yet, but as i said my access to them is very limited. i think maybe what makes them engaging is that they set the pace so i dont have time to stop and think if its worth doing (though it happened a lot with videogames too, just sometimes i happen not to think about it for some reason). dont know how to let these thoughts and feelings go with other things. also videogames give me a rush like no other thing so i keep coming back. why do i need a 'point' to do something you ask? i probably dont, as i sometimes play videogames without a point, but it's just a thought that i cant get over, combined with my aversion to put effort into things, which make strong negative emotions (which might even feel like crying) that put me off. p.s. what i partly meant by "force myself" in the original post is trying to force myself to do a thing despite it feeling pointless.

it's not magical thinking, it's controlling your mind and body. when you see a hot girl you start to feel something. where do you feel it? how do you feel it? do you block it somehow? does breathing deeply help with it? can you move these feelings by breathing? dont just believe what's written, experiment.

what helped me was an excerpt from david deida's book "the way of the superior man": "When a man sees a beautiful woman it is natural for him to feel energy in his body, which he usually interprets as sexual desire. Rather than dispersing this energy in mental fantasy, a man should learn to circulate his heightened energy. He should breathe fully, circulating the energy fully throughout his body. He should treat his heightened energy as a gift which could heal and rejuvenate his body, and, through his service, heal the world. Through these means, his desire is converted into fullness of heart. His lust is converted into service. His desire is not converted by denying sexual attraction, but by enjoying it fully, circulat- ing it through his body (without allowing it to stagnate as mental fantasy), and returning it to the world, from his heart." go read this book its under the part of "turn your lust into gifts"

I think a lot of advice about semen retention thay gurus teach is taken out of context. it's not just the semen retention but the whole lifestyle behind it, the way you use the energy in your body. if you just dont ejaculate and not use the energy in the proper way it might cause problems. for me personally i became more anxious and stressed. just explore yourself and see what works for you. personally i found most guru speeches useless after a while. i guess after some time of watching youtube videos it becomes not enough and you need to start going to seminars and things and the like to gain some value.

They seem quite emotionally immature, not your problem really. Get some real life friends/girlfriend. (actually girlfriend is easier than friends i found)

the question is how to develop that non judgemental attitude, since flaws in your partner will affect you. what i do is if i notice something i dont like about my partner, i might be quiet and try to rationalize it and look at it in an optimistic or positive way, but sometimes i need to just accept the flaw without finding anything positive about it, which is hard because it does make me suffer in some way or makes it so that my needs arent met.

Today just as I woke up I was in a weird mood. I woke up and tried to prove to myself why im worthless. I knew it would make me unhappy yet I did it anyway. I was very aware what I was doing and looked for a reason not to do it. i knew it would bring me bad things in the end but i felt like it didn't matter. i concluded that I just dont love myself, so since how im feeling is meaningless, it doesn't really matter what to do, so i had trouble choosing. i always hear that i should love myself but why? the reason of loving myself to feel good doesn't sound good enough because i dont care if i feel good anyway. what im looking for is a rational reason to arrive at loving myself, to care about myself feeling good. why am i writing all of this post if i dont care about how i feel? im curious, so it's kind of an automatic process and i have some cognitive dissonance happening somewhere in my brain. the problem comes when i need to exert force for myself to feel good. i dont really exert much force writing this.

@Rilles im leading an ok life just these thoughts creep up sometimes. i wonder if they will get worse over time so im trying to prevent it @Swarnim i dont really hate myself (at least i think so) i just dont care. im disconnected from the emotions that i feel, so doing things that make me feel bad are equivalent to things that make me feel good and i cant choose what to do

since i was a child i wasnt interested in history and subjects surrounding it like politics, literature, etc. during highschool i picked a tiny interest in literature but that was only in literature which was related to spiritual or philosophical things. those interests faded. i also visited historical sites and every time i do im insanely bored and cant comprehend and even get jealous how people find interest in it. why would i care that some dude lived in some place or some society was doing some tools or something of the sort.. i feel like im missing out and that people understand things i dont. when i ask people why it interest them i usually dont get an answer deeper than "because it's interesting".

@xxBryantxx in my opinion as far as i understand the situation the problem isn't some consciousness gap but lack of proper communication. it seems she doesn't care about your subjective experiences and you think she's too 'unconscious' to understand you. i think if you truly were awakened as you say you are then there shouldn't have been any problem in the relationship if that was the only thing. the problem is like in a lot of relationships i think and nothing about this one is special. i think what you need is to have a serious talk and share what you two hold in yourselves while accepting and not invalidating the other's subjective experience. your true emotions, your true needs and which needs you both feel are unfulfilled. i think you might use spirituality and consciousness as an excuse to not do emotionally laborious work thats necessary to keep a healthy relationship. take this all with a grain of salt as i dont know the whole situation.

i have often times tension or preasure or energy in my head. it makes me crave some food or masturbation because it feels if i eat or drink coffee or masturbate it will go away. ofc it doesnt, or maybe just slightly, and in the case of masturbation if i focus the energy to my head at the orgasm, i might have a headache. i do also have with that a stiff neck and maybe a tense throat. i do get eye twitches and nerves crawling in my forehead. in addition, i might have a hard time breathing, shortness of breath. even if i try doing breathing exercises it doesn't always help. i also have some back pains. the symptoms are worst in the morning and i have an especially hard time being fulfilled by my breath. i dont have asthma or any similar condition. the symptoms might be eased when i hug my girlfriend amd the energy spreads throughout my body. im not sure on that one though, i might be just imagining.

@latina25 what can a foamroller do that stretches cant? and do you have any foam rolling routines as examples? i dont know. how do i figure that out?

I ask how to do it in this post. i've meditated on and off for about 3 years now and it seems that after one meditates, one should feel 'grounded', meaning not in the mind, feeling more. thing is, im so heavily mind dominated that even if i have not much thoughts during the meditation, the second i finish it my mind starts racing and doesnt let go. this also happens almost every morning. i am usually stuck in my mind in my daily life, especially when i start to be aware of it. this makes me emotionless sometimes, somewhat autistic even, trying so hard to interpret social situations that i get confused. i dont have autism, i can pick up very well social cues, but only when my mind is calm. if even grounding meditation doesnt help really, what will? P.S. i have a feeling it has something to do with me rejecting life and not really choosing/wanting to live, so i sabotage myself by thinking. kind of 'why are you hitting yourself' thing. on one hand i want to have a good life, on the other i want to ruin everything and cease existing, but since it cant happen what it does is just make my life less good.

When i love someone (including myself), im willing to do things for them. it doesnt take mental effort, there's no resistance, i dont have to convince myself, im just sure 100% that i want to help them and there is no doubt. On the other hand, when i dont love someone that much, there are some things that feel like too much effort, there's resistance to doing something. I can force myself to do them (for example to not feel bad for not doing them), but emotionally i dont want to. So i started wondering, what is the difference between people I love and people I dont love? from the two points above, i deduced that the difference is the resistance. Meaning, that the natural state is love, and if you add resistance on top of it for whatever reason (survival, cultural ideas, baseless beliefs, desires), you love the person less. From this, i can induce that love in its general form (not related to loving humans) is not something, but rather the lack of resistance. We feel it as something, because all of our life is filled with resistance, so when there's something without it, it stands out, so we think it is something. This conclusion could be strengthened by the life experience that sometimes the more you know a person, the more you can trust him, the less resistance you have towards him, so with time you love the person. so my question is, how do you love someone? in other words, how do you shed that resistance? it seems that i cant just let go of it, although sometimes i can.

@nightrider1435 i see thanks

sometimes im being aware of what can be described as "flow of life". aware of how things fit perfectly together and how everything is so "obvious". this awareness comes when im flowing and tuned with my intuition i think, and dont think too much. this awareness itself sometimes confuses me because im kind of scared because it feels weird. i get stuck in my mind a little because of this awareness. i dont even know if what im saying is bullshit does anybody else experience this?

im having trouble making decisions. i have no life experience. every decision i make i can look at so many perspectives and possibilities but none of them have any weight so i just dont know what to do and im afraid to make wrong decisions. usually i choose the thing that sounds most rational and "safe" what should i do?

ohh i see. i guess cuz i didnt experience much traumas the term "trauma" is too abstract for me so i dont kno what im talking about hahaha thanks

thanks, but i dont avoid suffering when jm sure 100% it's necessary i just go into it what i am trying to avoid is unnecessary suffering

@IJB063 obvious advice but i think it inspired me a lot upon thinking about it more. i think the reason im timid is because im afraid to fuck up my psyche or create traumas but i guess there's no way to avoid that and live a life at the same time

i think by doing so you will improve in the wrong direction you need to ask yourself what do you want from the girl and lead there i dont think your real desire is to improve texting skills, too mind oriented it could be intimacy, sexual stuff (nudes, phone sex... [though be sure the girl is open to that before going there]), exploring what girls are like, politics, philosophy (if they're into that), just like a real conversation but without the touch/smell/see elements which make it feel simply less real

idk why im doing it but im detaching myself from everything, repressing all emotions and not taking responsibility for my life. i feel like i could do the opposite but i just dont do it. i feel like im slightly going crazy. you might say "it's your choice, just do it" but i still wont do it lol. i know life can be good if i put work into it but i dont really care, i just dont want to do anything. i know life can be bad if i wont do the things i have to and i dont want to live that life yet i still dont do anything. i feel like this situation is just worsening of my notions previously in life when i was my whole teens lazy and detached from everyone and everything. i basically was raised with a silver spoon so now i dont want to exert any effort to achieve anything. you might also say that this is caused by my thought patterns and i should change them or give them up but that takes too much effort so i just wont do it I don't know why im writing this post, as it sounds like im just whining. maybe some part of me hopes for some magical solution or some insight as to why i am this way.