Walter B

It is channeling of sorts. Like bringing two sources into vicinity. You are not able to hear it clearly bc you have "exchanged" with each other so long. So it just appears to you as an oddity or even a suspicion that likely let's you down more than anything. At least that's how I feel. That one can be touchy if you are not gentle in how you raise his awareness of it. Or perhaps he has been resisting her and could use your support in it! And that may be why you can't place the feeling or may not recognize it. I just get more intimacy from the one I'm with to cleanse that influence from myself. It's a type of renewal.

Hahaha!!! Look out! Agreed! People can be vain in soooo many ways! And your own vanity attracts you to other people's vanity. And vanity is, in a sense, any thing other than "you". There are pieces to put in to place. But if we wait till we have all those ideal pieces then we have an identity that attracts and repels. Or "vanity". Sometimes things that take your identity can turn out to be beautiful paths to perhaps what may grow into the ability to share enlightenment! Intimately! Now that's the kundalini talkin there.

That is good stuff, but the human nature to change is the dynamic that's hard to change with. It takes more to keep one long term. Sarah gave great input also! The biggest problem I've found is people who don't think for themselves. Even if you are a great leader you are still at the mercy of whoever has the greatest influence with her be that a girl-friend or parent or ex husband or whatever. That one will destroy you if you cater to that other person. Or get with a woman that generally doesn't have well established and reliable boundaries around what is most intimate to her. It can be a very hard thing to develop into maturity in this sense.

Don't think about him. And when you start to, realize that's just him or someone that is thinking about you in relation to him. So when you feel it just think to them "stop thinking about me" they'll get the message in their mind. And/or since you already have a boyfriend perhaps you'd benefit more by focusing on developing amazing intimacy with the one you are with.! That is the only reason to be with someone really anyway. Isn't it. Unless you are seeking something else more superficial with the new one that is.

It was clear to me. So true. It either has to be just sex or intimate. In-between is destructive I've found in many ways. A healthy interdependentcy takes wisdom and dedication! The harm comes when one or both parties even begin to falter by sharing emotional intimacy outside of their bond. So few people accept this or acknowledge it that this is usually what destroys things. Some of us sense it even as it happens. And without communication there's just nothing that can be done except to go away. It is so painful when you find it and loose it. Even if it was only a taste. I think people can spend years even getting there once it is realized. It seems some people just wander off into other realities. Guess we all reserve the right to change our minds.

Yes, and you must be aware that it is up to you to find yourself again when it subsides. Threatening things awaken all sorts of hormone patterns that bring about fight or flight. Not much peace to enjoy enlightenment with those things around you. Best you can do is be strong in mind and go back to your exercises, meditations, reading, watching Leo videos, or basically trancing yourself to break up the incoming unrest. It gets easier to resist with practice. And perhaps eventually you could become immune to it all. I was there at one time until drastic events broke me down.

Sleep when you can, eat well starting early, exercise, and do what serves your purpose with the rest!

Yes, it's a real shame. At least in my experiences, that's all I got. People who sell your IP right out from underneath you. The ones with the lawyers and money just make more money and the "minds" just get used up. I'm sure there are some companies that compensate and share royalties more generously. But all in all, it takes so many people to see a concept to completion that they spread the money thin amongst them. And everything is so compartmentalized to protect IP leaks within the company that it's easy for the "minds" to be taken advantage of. And teaching...shew! Might as well have a bunch of kids and a wife and get some food stamps, because they only pay a single person just enough to keep them above poverty level and expect us to put our all into training the next great minds. I gave up fighting that governmentized over regulated department of education brainwashing system! That only pays 10 dollars per hour if you add up all it takes to be a real good teacher outside of campus time. It's ridiculous.

The engineering, science, teaching world is on the other hand designed to keep us working for free and forever and having our creativity equally robbed from us through control of intellectual property. "Being a slave to the man" in some sayings. It is just as dangerous and cut-throat as the entertainment industry. However, in entertainment or other less secure occupation there is much more money to go around. It seems backwards to me, but don't fight it. Just make the most of it! Whatever makes you feel alive! You're dying otherwise.

Kind of, as in I "remember when". It gives me the emotions of calm and patience. Thoughts of priority. Feelings of disdain for letting myself be overwritten, when it happens. Beliefs that belief belongs to things one sees or knows in the present. However, in this it should be realized that many people prey on others. Expecting that their "overwrite" or influence will stick as a parent does a child. This all to often becomes an expectation in adulthood. Parents seem to exhibit it the most. Particularly older women. This is a mechanism of control. Frankly, it pisses off adults when that are treated this way. I don't say much after treated this way by anyone. But some people have honed the art of influence and control and can be quite sneaky. But, nonetheless they are simply misleading themselves believing any aware person would like subjecting themselves to that, even for a short time. It'll make them cry when they are told they can "think it all they want and that doesn't make it so". Lol. It surprised me the first time I witnessed the response. Denial is prevalent in some.

I found meditation wasn't enough. Exercise was the long term consistent solution to motivation in that sense. Changing your environment as well. Perhaps by exercising away from the rest of your life, such as away from home. Fresh air, fresh sights. Alter the exposures of your senses in diverse ways. Predictability is a sure way to get stuck somewhere!

Perhaps focus on prioritizing the thoughts that give you unrest. It may cause you to alter your list but if it relieves larger worries and neglects something from your current conditioning then so be it. Reserve the right to change your mind.

Wonder if someone somewhere is watching videos or doing self improvement or enlightenment work while on LSD! Imagine the college experience these days! But we have a rich history of this type. Think about a clockwork Orange or fear and loathing or mk ultra or things experimented with leading up to ww2. Mind control is by no means a new thing. Hoffman's book covers some wild stuff. Yes, LSD is very powerful. So can be the many different derivatives that often result with street attempts of production. Some of our current prescriptions in society can be even more powerful long term! Think about what happens to the person who's been on ADD type drugs for most of their life. They are numb!

"LSD My problem child" by Albert Hoffman, if I recall. Great read!

I like him very much. I remember when I first found him. However, it is hard to follow one guru when they all speak of things you also understand. Their methods, framing, and timing are all different and quite useful for breaking plateaus that may happen. But I only speak for myself. I view all this as a progressive process of sorts, as in the past, I've thought I knew and since realized that I did for a moment, but these things get buried so easily in our interactions with the world. But not to interact with the world alienates oneself and those that you know and care for. Some people fit well into their "box" and are perfectly content there.

It is really nice for practicing the ability to "listen". Something to come back to when you get caught up in the world.

What do you make of Mooji? I'd really like to spend time visiting with him. How do you feel when you listen to his Satsang sessions? Have you noticed that all of the Seer's seem to be talking to a very small crowd? What does this mean to you? More particularly even, the fact that all the Seer's seem to be "seeing" a relatively small crowd of minds. I'm not making claims, I'd just like to see your thoughts on this.

The weak attitude is your own. Nothing really makes you do anything. I know it seems that way for a moment though. It's really hard to get things right the first time. Sometimes it's best to just get through it and then if you need to, go back over it and find the parts that are still troubling you. Overthinking can be a really big problem. Yes. A teacher once told me that my first answer is usually the right one. This was in regard to classroom testing. However, I've found it is also remarkably powerful in dealing with what many of us refer to as intuition or the gut feeling. Once you are aware of what "begins" this intuition/gut feeling then you must then learn to listen to it. It can be quite subtle. And the most minute thing can pervert the thought very quickly in your mind. Usually it is ourselves trying to control the answer or the thought rather than simply listening and taking heed of the "first" answer as being the right one. If you let your mind confuse it and try to improve it or this or that then it only becomes unusable anyway and leads to dishonesty with yourself. The beauty of writing down the first answer in your notes as you do the exercises is that it's great practice at knowing you've sufficiently uncovered yourself enough to trust "your" first answer.

That's good to read. I find purposes. Things I'd love to do. Maybe someday. But don't be scared! If you are able then do it! Make the plan. Do the business analysis. Identify people. Identify funding. Get the figures together so you know how much money you need for X number of years. Project income growth during this time. Plan contingencies to allow easy alterations of the business model as it plays out. And get started! Sometimes support can be the limiting factor. Even though we are learning to do it for ourselves, there is still the looming desire of others to make your plans for you. They are everywhere you look! They can really bring you down. Or if you find like minds they can really prop you up. Then you must watch for greedy and manipulative behaviors among the business or group. It's just ego, but that's a really strong force that makes people do really selfish things to others. But a good lawyer and a strong mind are your best friends in combating this. In case we haven't figured this out yet. People commonly want other people to work for them that's why things tend toward monopolies. Then the medical system pins us together like scarecrows to keep working for the monopoly until we just can't take it any more and then you either have to do it for yourself or take disability if this happens before you have enough retirement to "not work". But I hope you get your confidence!!! Just remember that unless you have a spouse or kids then there's nothing to leave behind that can't be heaped into a piled and burned! So, live like today is your last day! It cuts down on the regrets and the fear. And allows you to move at blistering speeds in getting things done by not getting confused in what others want you to do. Unless of course, they pay really really well! Then one might think about getting on someone elses ship!

You'll have vision when your mind has processed your past and become clear again. That's why consistency is key, develop habits as easily as you break them. Keep what works till it no longer works. But remember it later when it is needed again. Exercise and eat well. Two most fundamental and necessary habits to clear the mind.

I find it worth a look. But yes, it can be very hard to interpret with any justice to its contents. The golden threads can be hard to identify and to create. But some people choose to follow it blindly. And thus follow the interpreter. Who are we to judge. It just speaks to the responsibility of the interpreter and more importantly the follower who out of ignorance may miss the true form and beauty of it all. It may prove to be a great experience. It may show you spirits in the "skies". It may reveal the harm we do to each other when we harm each other in thought. Leo shot a neat video on being a spiritual seeker that you may like. Remember, everything in moderation. At least until you determine its function and use and find a passion to stick with. Even those "passions" can have their own "life times".

Search "eastern spirituality" for broad coverage. Add things like this to your contemplation. There is no self to answer to "who am I?". Maybe who was I and who will I be next would help you. Contemplate all the things you have and people you know who think or remind you of who you have been. Realize that differentiating past, present, and future is important! So, who are you right now? What did that make you think of and/or what emotion did that stir? Write it down. Do this for a while say a week per the instructions given in Leo's video on understanding emotions. You'll likely realize where they seem to come from in the process. Then maybe you can figure out some answers to your questions.

"The Signs and Symbols of Primordial Man" The Evolution of Religious Doctrines from the Eschatology of the Ancient Egyptians by Albert Churchward -1913

The latest video is quite fascinating. I'm only at the 36 min mark, but I must say that maybe studying quantum mechanics for many years before awareness has a great deal to do with things. And the blank spot was indeed a blank spot. E is "measured" to explain the link from particle to wave in versatile units of energy. It works for a bowling ball just the same as for an electron. That's really quite amazing when you realize one is so large that its motions can be described with classical mechanics and the electron cannot due to its size relative to the length of the "waves" of energy. The uncertainty becomes too great when these sizes are not significantly different. What would be really neat is to hear from someone who works with subatomic theory about the indications of the differences in particle make up of an electron or other atomic particle vs. the photon. The photon is it's own subatomic particle you see. It is not made up of combinations of quarks, bosons, mesons, and things I have not studied enough to know if my context in this sentence is defined accordingly (classifications and all). But, I do know that last time I looked we had not isolated a graviton and gravity surely seems like a truth in our reality of this reference frame, this distance above the center of the earth, which is also in the gravitational fields of the other planetary bodies in our near vicinity. Now, we also know or have been taught we have mass. And, well the large hadron collider has done lots of work on the Higgs boson. Which, if I recall is one of 4 SA-particles that must fit together theoretically to produce mass. Pretty neat stuff. It appeared that there were magnetic fields coming together like a puzzle to make a whole. Well, particles have mass, and photons are their own singular subatomic species (by our classifications) so, perhaps it seemed best (back during the emergence of quantum mechanics) to just measure the energy of the electromagnetic wave that resulted when the electron gun fired electrons at a surface (or it was heated up to release photons) rather than trying to explain the link (we're still doing that part). But, hey scientists are getting there! But that still doesn't violate any spiritual belief in my opinion. Even if they categorize it all, remember it'll never be perfect. It can't be. The instruments themselves have uncertainty. And to control or manipulate it all to induce a Godly effect would require perfection that is unattainable. That was all I needed to know a long time ago.

Leo, what are your thoughts on the Ego being lessened nearly to completion during this time? Not necessarily because of the quest, but circumstances yielding all the same. Ego gone. Then, in attempts to have interactions with people who you once felt as friends and one desired to give some trust to, one realizes they don't seem to like one without all that ego. It's like their ego is bruised because someone else no longer carries theirs. Could be the way one dresses or wears their hair or the way they speak or the path they pursue or the food they eat, but those people who used to be supportive and friendly become mortal enemies of sorts. It's like they want to change one back to who they were, naive, ignorant, manipulable, serving other's purpose rather than one's own. With complete disregard of one's actual circumstance. And some of these small minded people can be very adamant in demanding servitude and respect when in reality, the one who has realized who've they've been their entire lives through their own growth path finds it hard to even find things to respect about these people let alone to serve them or follow them or even to share a meal with them. And the general public or perhaps just a few that appear to have mind influence can be so thick skulled that they just keep on and on and on. They aren't brave enough to even voice their thoughts. And perhaps these are the people that are, in their own mind, trying to take something that is not theirs, from someone else. I guess that's the story of life though. And the fact that "they think" they move around in the wind doing selfish and destructive things simply speaks for their character and perhaps I've just remembered the answer that I came to last time I thought more than a ****** minute about it. But hey, friends and foes are matters of perspectives. And sometimes those can be very deceiving. For some of us, friend or foe changes in an instant. Guess that lack of consistency is a better mark of character than the means by which one behaves as "friend or foe". The "way of the wind" is a great book btw.