Tyler Robinson

Masculinity in a sexual sense is not dependent on how nice or not nice you are. In sexual sense, masculinity is about raw power, the ability to be sexually appealing, without being forceful (because that's criminal ), to be able to exude a raw sexiness through domination, the man who seems like he can take charge of literally anything like a king is very attractive to the feminine, this doesn't mean that the man has to be a bad guy, he doesn't, he can be a good guy, yet be very daring and assertive, his fearlessness, his lioness-ess is very attractive, his ability plays a main role here, character takes back seat, obviously if he acts like an asshole the relationship will eventually end, however attraction is a brain thing, it's not decided by the heart so character will only be a factor in the long term, but at first sight or at least sexually, a man who has this raw power, the ability to totally control her desires, the ability to get her without consent, without actually violating her consent, that is without using physical force, yet being able to assert such power as though he owns her through intense eye contact (eye contact being an important part of this game ), fulminating her whole place with his masculinity, almost leaving his scent everywhere having that attitude "I'll have you no matter what, " without actually using force, but by using seductive mental tricks, inserting himself in her mind all the time, almost invading her mind space, making her feel fragile and helpless (a state he would even replicate in bed by intensely owning her femininity and forcing himself through her body, obviously after consent, and showing his full power in owning her sexually ) and making her feel wanted at the same time by showing constant interest in wanting her, pursuing her intensely and making her beg for his domination and making her feel special and owned without hurting her or abusing, but by showing how much he wants is very appealing to a woman. However nice guys don't do this. They are nice but they lack sexual charisma and relationship is not just value matching Act but also highly sexual and so sexual chemistry is going to be a huge factor in determining everything, the nice guy might be fitting for a woman who comes with a laundry list, but not for a woman seeking natural attraction minus laundry list. She is going to be attracted only to the highly masculine male, this is not her fault, just like it's not a man's fault if he is attracted to a round ass. Being nice doesn't give you brownie points in the sexual department. For example when I recently had a conversation with a guy, we had a long non sexual conversation followed by him saying that he first checks if the girl will smile and the next thing he will check is her ass and he said it in such a manner, that I instantly felt attraction, I had to hold myself back because I didn't want him sexually, plus I didn't want to lose the friendship or make it awkward so I kept silent, however that comment he made was a very leading on, like a turn on, men who don't do that get friend zoned, so it's a beautiful dance of sexual chemistry but to perform this dance you need to have the right "sexual emotions" or the right sexual framework because if her body is not feeling charged by whatever you're saying to her then she is not going to feel sexual and your chances are over, it's a matter of learning this dance, creating this intense sexual chemistry where you don't have to force but create such tension in her body that she is unable to resist even if her mind says no, her body says yes, make her cut through her bullshit resistance, this intense conflict that she cannot handle between her head and the body and she gives in to this submission to your incessant pressure on her sexuality, you don't assault her physically (physical is crime ) but you assault her mentally, gaining full reign of her senses like a magician and she is left with no refuge but to simply let her body be taken by you by giving into your advances and letting you lead on, she will give signs (not online, online it's difficult to read signs but in reality where she would feel vulnerable and would not resist your presence and your touch, this can be tested with a kiss, slightly touching her face to see if she resists, if she doesn't than she is more than willing for you and lead her to the ultimate conquer -sex.) she will give signs, lots of them, she won't move away when you're near, she will respond to the eye contact by wanting it more, she will not show aggression but obedience, she will try to get your attention by being around you, a potent sign that the game is working.. To be able to create such intense tension, you have to be very connected with your natural masculinity. Nice guys are passive and generally lack such overt masculinity. This is not to say that masculine are not nice or don't possess virtues, they may or may not, its just that they are gifted in this sexual department where they are able to exude raw sexual appeal and prowess. This sexual power does not stop only to attracting and creating chemistry. That is only the starting point. The next point is sex. He has to be good at sex, amazing lover in bed, where he can make her moan a lot, make her want more, make her beg, because he is able to smoothly control her sexuality there. In the bedroom he can't afford to be passive at all. He will need to show intense interest in pleasuring her, not in a servant kind of way, but in an owner master kind of way, where he totally dominates her desire, makes her feel sexual play by play, move by move, by giving her intense sexual affection and winning her body, her sexual brain, feeling her body with oxytocin for him. All of this is brain related. These hyper sexual masculine men in tune with their natural sexual power are not necessarily assholes or bad men, they are just more viable in the sexual romance department. Love is a matter of both brain and the heart. He can win her emotionally but that would later in the relationship that's where his nice guy behavior can be useful. Unfortunately attraction is designed in such a way that sex comes first, heart comes later, this is natural sexuality, rule of law, this cannot be erased, attraction cannot be denied or destroyed, just like you can't say no to yummy food, you can't have much of a sense of self control with such matters. Both women and men who want passion need to be sexually attractive in their own ways and often in most sexual styles, the man has to lead first and the female submits to his leading. Without sexual passion there is little interest. Being a nice guy might work long term in relationships but not with attraction. The nice guy should not stop being nice. But he can be more in touch with his inner masculine sexuality and develop it more so he feels naturally sexual and learns some romantic tricks to get her sexual attention The only rule is this. If you get her sexual attention, you get a chance for sex as well as relationship. If you can't get her sexual attention, then you get friendzoned. Very simple. You make the move. If you have taken her sexual interest or attention then you have marched ahead of all the friend zone material guys to the top of the list and secured your position sexually in her mind, now she can't forget you. If she is not deeply sexually attracted to you, that is you did not exhibit your masculinity perfectly or did not own her, and she is still in a relationship with you, this relationship then lacks magnetism and is very dry, if she finds a more domineering male with sexual passion, she will easily get attracted to him and cheat on you. So sexual attraction is a very important part, not the most pleasant part, but an important part in securing and maintaining relationships.

Of course my butt. And it needs some love.

How should I find a compatible boyfriend/partner and what should I look for in him? ? Mentality match ? Romantic match ? Sexual match ? Physical match ? Age match ? Attitude match ? Stage Red Qualities ? Vibe Match or Energy Match ? Dom Personality /Father Figure type ? Zodiac sexual attraction ? Zodiac compatibility ? Character match ?Heart and intent match ?Respect match ?Maturity, mental age match ?Intellectual match ? Life purpose match.(not necessary)

You have angelic eyes. You have the deepest blue most beautiful eyes.. Your hair is light and crisp Your skin is so Sublime. You have the sweetest spots on you. You are so handsome and so adorable. I keep looking at you, like a lovesick puppy. When I look at you I'm lost in your deep eyes. Your heart is so sweet and light. I fell in love with you when I saw you Because I could see your kindness I will never have a lover like you You are my soulmate. You make me calm. You Make me happy Just knowing that you do so much for me

A view on desperate men Look. I need to be honest as a woman. I never get attracted to desperate men. I will never fall in love with a desperate man, that's a guarantee. Imagine if a guy approached me covered up in blood, will I have sex with him? Absolutely no way. That's how desperate men appear. They make themselves look horrible, creepy and all sorts of weird signs. Women feel like running away from such men. Women hate such men. It's never gonna work. A woman who likes a desperate man is either extremely out of sync with her femininity, or is trying to use him in some manner, sensing his desperation or is simply not feminine enough and never received the attention of real men, or is too manly herself. A real female runs far far away from a desperate man. She gets repulsed by his behavior. Imagine a desperate guy in the female version. It's like a woman covered up in mud walking towards a man. He would get repulsed. He would never want her. It's the same way. Desperate men are extremely unattractive. You can look handsome and nice body or voice or whatever, but desperate behavior will destroy any attractiveness you got.

A couple of suggestions. The very early signs of narcissism are early praise or dismissal. I'll call these bread crumbs. They test you early on to see if you Crack. They can either dismiss you badly by saying something bad about you like completely contradicting what you say and make you feel guilty. For example my first boyfriend blocked my path and said something like - "you don't even say a hello." But I usually don't say hello to strangers. Yet he made me feel guilty for something that wasn't a big deal. This is an example of negging. Negging is a psychologically manipulative trick in which the other person is trying to make you seek their approval indirectly. In the example, my boyfriend was making me want his approval, instead of simply being polite and saying hello, he was trying to guilt me to see if i would apologize and seek his approval. He wanted me to kinda bend to him. Negging is making that person feel awkward and in-validated so they come to you for validation. For example a guy might say something like "you look like a pig in that dress. Other girls wear sexy." This is an indirect insult which is meant to provoke that woman to test if she is submissive or rebellious. If she is the submissive type, she will cave in to the pressure and next day she will dress up like other girls. This sends him the signal that she agreed to his approval and submitted to please him. This trick often gets submissive women to give up their boundary and submit to the subtle sexual pressure created by the man. This was an example of how a narcissist uses early dismissal to draw the attention of his victim to himself and establish a power dynamic through pressuring for approval. Second trick - they will praise excessively out of nowhere. This is called love bombing. For example one of my exes said - "I'd rather go blind than see you walk away." He would claim that I was his soulmate, I was the only woman in the world for him, he would die for me. We were eternal soulmates. All of this in the early stages of the relationship. It was excessive pedestalizing and praising. And language that doesn't feel authentic or pragmatic. Another ex boyfriend, he would sing praises to me. So one day we had an argument and I didn't want to deal with the stress of the relationship so I told him I was breaking up and he sent me 40 text messages telling me that he really loves me. It was just excessive and very pressuring. I finally said yes because I felt very pressured. The next boyfriend did something different. He would constantly blackmail me. Like — on the first date, I wasn't sure if I wanted the relationship and I needed time to decide, and he wasn't having a no for an answer. So his reply was - "what is this even? Is this a relationship?" pumping up the pressure. Then he would say things like "we're already one. I want a deep connection with you." but I wasn't even mentally ready yet and he was pushing so far. Just Impatient and pushy. Then he almost made it like if I didn't kiss him he would break the relationship. Everything had to be his way. One day we talked about psychedelics and I said that I wasn't interested in it. He immediately talked about breaking up. I was very exhausted. He was forcing me to comply or he would break up if I didn't. I relented at last and told him that I would do psychedelics if that's what he wanted. I was forced to be his girlfriend because I wasn't mentally ready for it but he would pull away instead of giving me time. It's like "comply with me or I'm breaking up." He wielded a lot of control and this method is emotional blackmail, "if you don't do else..." So above three examples were of manipulative tricks like negging/dismissal/pressure to seek approval, love bombing or inauthentic excessive praising (you can look up love bombing online), and emotional blackmail control, used by narcissists to make someone bend to their pressure and approval. I'll call it baiting. Learning these baiting tricks helps uncover narcissists.

I have a lot of personal experience in my post. Thanks.

A couple of suggestions. The very early signs of narcissism are early praise or dismissal. I'll call these bread crumbs. They test you early on to see if you Crack. They can either dismiss you badly by saying something bad about you like completely contradicting what you say and make you feel guilty. For example my first boyfriend blocked my path and said something like - "you don't even say a hello." But I usually don't say hello to strangers. Yet he made me feel guilty for something that wasn't a big deal. This is an example of negging. Negging is a psychologically manipulative trick in which the other person is trying to make you seek their approval indirectly. In the example, my boyfriend was making me want his approval, instead of simply being polite and saying hello, he was trying to guilt me to see if i would apologize and seek his approval. He wanted me to kinda bend to him. Negging is making that person feel awkward and in-validated so they come to you for validation. For example a guy might say something like "you look like a pig in that dress. Other girls wear sexy." This is an indirect insult which is meant to provoke that woman to test if she is submissive or rebellious. If she is the submissive type, she will cave in to the pressure and next day she will dress up like other girls. This sends him the signal that she agreed to his approval and submitted to please him. This trick often gets submissive women to give up their boundary and submit to the subtle sexual pressure created by the man. This was an example of how a narcissist uses early dismissal to draw the attention of his victim to himself and establish a power dynamic through pressuring for approval. Second trick - they will praise excessively out of nowhere. This is called love bombing. For example one of my exes said - "I'd rather go blind than see you walk away." He would claim that I was his soulmate, I was the only woman in the world for him, he would die for me. We were eternal soulmates. All of this in the early stages of the relationship. It was excessive pedestalizing and praising. And language that doesn't feel authentic or pragmatic. Another ex boyfriend, he would sing praises to me. So one day we had an argument and I didn't want to deal with the stress of the relationship so I told him I was breaking up and he sent me 40 text messages telling me that he really loves me. It was just excessive and very pressuring. I finally said yes because I felt very pressured. The next boyfriend did something different. He would constantly blackmail me. Like — on the first date, I wasn't sure if I wanted the relationship and I needed time to decide, and he wasn't having a no for an answer. So his reply was - "what is this even? Is this a relationship?" pumping up the pressure. Then he would say things like "we're already one. I want a deep connection with you." but I wasn't even mentally ready yet and he was pushing so far. Just Impatient and pushy. Then he almost made it like if I didn't kiss him he would break the relationship. Everything had to be his way. One day we talked about psychedelics and I said that I wasn't interested in it. He immediately talked about breaking up. I was very exhausted. He was forcing me to comply or he would break up if I didn't. I relented at last and told him that I would do psychedelics if that's what he wanted. I was forced to be his girlfriend because I wasn't mentally ready for it but he would pull away instead of giving me time. It's like "comply with me or I'm breaking up." He wielded a lot of control and this method is emotional blackmail, "if you don't do else..." So above three examples were of manipulative tricks like negging/dismissal/pressure to seek approval, love bombing or inauthentic excessive praising (you can look up love bombing online), and emotional blackmail control, used by narcissists to make someone bend to their pressure and approval. I'll call it baiting. Learning these baiting tricks helps uncover narcissists.

48 minutes ago, meta_male said: @Tyler Robinson It can get quite disturbing in relationships, right? Sorry to hear you had to go through this. Did you realise afterwards or still while in it? I was looking up online articles and I accidentally came across an article on narcissistic abuse. I kept that thing in my mind but subsequently got busy with life and forgot it. The relationship continued and when I broke up with him I had a deja vu moment. I went back to the article and realized that I was going through all that. After that I learned that the only way to deal with it is to first recognize patterns in behavior. Loads of videos on YouTube that go into depth. After recognizing you need to screen these people and filter them out. If you recognize signs early on, best to cut off as soon as possible because it only gets worse generally. I have never seen narcissists change their behavior so there is little hope. Don't think about changing them and don't wait. Narcissists engage in following behavior- Gaslighting. Making you walk on eggshells Demoralizing you Intentionally avoid you Come to you only when they need something Control your every move Compare you to others Talk about replacing you (he used to do that) Emotional blackmail by saying they will leave the relationship if you don't do as they say They constantly want to be praised They punish you for little things Zero empathy towards your suffering They prioritize their goals above your needs When they don't need you they lose interest and spit you out Also If you're constantly attracted to narcissists like I do, you might want to look into things like addiction, codependency, doormat behavior, low self esteem, mental weakness, childhood trauma, infantilization, bad parenting, lack of self respect, lack of boundaries, sexual abuse, borderline personality disorder which I have, lack of family support, suicidal tendencies, identity issues, constant need for validation and support etc. If you suffer from the above mentioned then you will be prone to wanting narcissists in your life. Narcissists are seducing kind of people. They like the idea of having power over someone who is dependent. So they will gladly suffocate you with all of their authority and domination if they smell that you don't fight back hard enough. They will demand that you please them or they will push you away. You get addicted to the validation they give and they are addicted to your lack of boundaries and weakness. They like you being weak. The weaker the better. It's a predator prey relationship. They see you as prey and that's very very attractive to them and they will be very hot and cold with you just to punish you. You'll also be attracted to them because you can't give up your prey behavior either. Often times I tried to get away from narcissists. I stayed away for some time. Then I would be picked up by another narcissist. Because I wasn't feeling strong enough so I was attracted to their strength. It's like they are carrying the food in their hands and you are very hungry and needy. They can sense that neediness. I'm still attracted to narcissists big time because of my neediness. I need that pat on my head to feel better (proverbial sucking dick). They treat me like a child and I'm forever in need of a parenting figure because my childhood was neglectful and broken. So broken people are permanently attracted to narcissists. I don't know how to heal. It's tough. The neediness doesn't go away. I wasn't given love as a child so I seek that love in narcissistic men who babysit me and make me feel wanted. Only then I feel worthy of love. It's the toughest thing. They can easily sense if someone is needy and hungry for love and acceptance. Then they prey on that person. It's a weird kind of polarized magnetic relationship, somewhat like addiction.. Only when you drink you feel better even though you know drinking is bad, that sort of a thing. Narcissists are good at creating psychological addiction in the victim I get weird sensations around narcissistic men. My breasts swell, I feel automatically wet and horny, my lips pucker up in submission, I go into begging mode and I begin to crave their affection and domination badly. I crave their approval. I become slavish and relish the slave role. I think years of child abuse made me dependent on approval from an authority figure and instilled a slave mentality in me. Part of it is also Stockholm Syndrome that develops after living with an abuser, you begin to love that rape and abuse and you don't see your abuser as a bad person, you even begin to love and appreciate them, sympathize with them and begin to enjoy their beatings or temper or abuse because it becomes a coping mechanism for survival. I developed Stockholm Syndrome at some point and began to feel empathy for abusers and if they that they wanted to rape me, I did not feel bad or angry, I became immune to it and accepted my slave role. Abuse is a very potent form of power. It develops psychological codependency that is very hard to get rid of. Anyway I'm still trying to cope with it all and learning how to mitigate future abuse.

I was looking up online articles and I accidentally came across an article on narcissistic abuse. I kept that thing in my mind but subsequently got busy with life and forgot it. The relationship continued and when I broke up with him I had a deja vu moment. I went back to the article and realized that I was going through all that. After that I learned that the only way to deal with it is to first recognize patterns in behavior. Loads of videos on YouTube that go into depth. After recognizing you need to screen these people and filter them out. If you recognize signs early on, best to cut off as soon as possible because it only gets worse generally. I have never seen narcissists change their behavior so there is little hope. Don't think about changing them and don't wait. Narcissists engage in following behavior- Gaslighting. Making you walk on eggshells Demoralizing you Intentionally avoid you Come to you only when they need something Control your every move Compare you to others Talk about replacing you (he used to do that) Emotional blackmail by saying they will leave the relationship if you don't do as they say They constantly want to be praised They punish you for little things Zero empathy towards your suffering They prioritize their goals above your needs When they don't need you they lose interest and spit you out Also If you're constantly attracted to narcissists like I do, you might want to look into things like addiction, codependency, doormat behavior, low self esteem, mental weakness, childhood trauma, infantilization, bad parenting, lack of self respect, lack of boundaries, sexual abuse, borderline personality disorder which I have, lack of family support, suicidal tendencies, identity issues, constant need for validation and support etc. If you suffer from the above mentioned then you will be prone to wanting narcissists in your life. Narcissists are seducing kind of people. They like the idea of having power over someone who is dependent. So they will gladly suffocate you with all of their authority and domination if they smell that you don't fight back hard enough. They will demand that you please them or they will push you away. You get addicted to the validation they give and they are addicted to your lack of boundaries and weakness. They like you being weak. The weaker the better. It's a predator prey relationship. They see you as prey and that's very very attractive to them and they will be very hot and cold with you just to punish you. You'll also be attracted to them because you can't give up your prey behavior either. Often times I tried to get away from narcissists. I stayed away for some time. Then I would be picked up by another narcissist. Because I wasn't feeling strong enough so I was attracted to their strength. It's like they are carrying the food in their hands and you are very hungry and needy. They can sense that neediness. I'm still attracted to narcissists big time because of my neediness. I need that pat on my head to feel better (proverbial sucking dick). They treat me like a child and I'm forever in need of a parenting figure because my childhood was neglectful and broken. So broken people are permanently attracted to narcissists. I don't know how to heal. It's tough. The neediness doesn't go away. I wasn't given love as a child so I seek that love in narcissistic men who babysit me and make me feel wanted. Only then I feel worthy of love. It's the toughest thing. They can easily sense if someone is needy and hungry for love and acceptance. Then they prey on that person. It's a weird kind of polarized magnetic relationship, somewhat like addiction.. Only when you drink you feel better even though you know drinking is bad, that sort of a thing. Narcissists are good at creating psychological addiction in the victim I get weird sensations around narcissistic men. My breasts swell, I feel automatically wet and horny, my lips pucker up in submission, I go into begging mode and I begin to crave their affection and domination badly. I crave their approval. I become slavish and relish the slave role. I think years of child abuse made me dependent on approval from an authority figure and instilled a slave mentality in me. Part of it is also Stockholm Syndrome that develops after living with an abuser, you begin to love that rape and abuse and you don't see your abuser as a bad person, you even begin to love and appreciate them, sympathize with them and begin to enjoy their beatings or temper or abuse because it becomes a coping mechanism for survival. I developed Stockholm Syndrome at some point and began to feel empathy for abusers and if they that they wanted to rape me, I did not feel bad or angry, I became immune to it and accepted my slave role. Abuse is a very potent form of power. It develops psychological codependency that is very hard to get rid of. Anyway I'm still trying to cope with it all and learning how to mitigate future abuse.

In reality women are valued much lower than men and no amount of likes can compensate for the sexism. A woman has to work 10 times harder to prove her worth at a workplace whereas for a man, it's kinda already decided that he is intelligent just because he is a man. If a woman tries to set a rule she is called bossy and constantly judged for her appearance. Men are admired in a boss position. A woman feels very lonely at the top because women don't support her due to fear and jealousy and men don't support her out of insecurity and rivalry. Men automatically assume that women can't be intelligent and ignore them. If a woman has a beautiful face she is generally considered vain on default even if she has more to offer other than her beauty. It's an automatic assumption that she only wants attention and all her other aspects are ignored. If a woman doesn't look good enough, then critics use her appearance as a talking point rather than her contribution to drag her down. A woman's challenges to survive and thrive are generally taken lightly or completely ignored because nobody wants to appreciate or understand her struggles. Women are judged preemptively far more and far worse than men and she has to constantly bring attention to herself to be taken seriously or risk being ignored or underappreciated. People empathize with ugly men and incels and consider their suffering to be intense. Men don't empathize with ugly women and relegate their suffering to fate.

Why toxic love is so beautiful? I kinda feel weird that I have to admit this as a woman. It feels a bit shameful to admit this. But at the same time I need to be brutally honest about my feelings so that I'm not being pretentious about being a woman. I find bad boys appealing. I know pick up culture teaches this to men. I think pick up teaches guys to treat women like that. it's more effective than being nice. But it's not even healthy. Yet I can say very honestly (I don't mean to say a perfect asshole), that I felt at ease with a bad boy than with a nice man. I won't say that the nice man was boring, just that being with him was challenging, I always had to be prim and proper with him. I always had to be polite. But with a bad boy, there was a certain freedom. I could wear anything I wanted and he wouldn't mind. I could use swear words and he wouldn't mind at all. I could be lazy and be hurtful or mean sometimes and he wouldn't judge, rather he would understand my bad side, just the way he understood his own bad side. But with a good boy, or a nice man, no such freedom existed. I always had to be on my best behavior. It's sort of a pressure. Everything felt claustrophobic. Plus with a bad boy I tend to win Brownie points. How? Well, he would say some nasty angry shit to me, like Eminem barking toxic lyrics in my ears, but later apologise and the fact that I put up with his anger, was an assurance to him that I loved him, whereas with a nice man, there is no automatic way to assure him that I love him. The emotions are kinda raw with a bad boy. The emotions are kinda tame with a nice guy. Nice guy versus bad boy confusion.

Yea I had to deal with narcissistic abuse in relationships. It's a tough thing. Recognizing patterns is key to freedom.

Glad-Glatis

Note to self Recently there's been an uptick in my misbehavior towards men.. Not a good sign. Badie girl stop. Stop flirting with men. Men are strange. When you are too good, they want to force you to like them. When you actually begin to like them like a drunk girl, they begin to distance themselves. Oops. Men wil be men. I think I'm better off with my creative imaginations of what I want a man to do.. Men in my fantasies are damn brilliant and never act cold. That's a good thing I want a man who can lift me up and place me on a hard floor and then look into my eyes and give me a deep kiss.

For a long time I really liked bad boys. But these days not so much. Yet somewhat. There might be something protective about them? However this could be an illusion created by movies and media and pop culture.. They have put the bad boy on a pedestal hehe.

Relationship is a contract of loyalty where you sign up to understand and respect the other person and to build harmony. You can't suddenly change and just expect the other person to either accept you or just leave. You wasted their time because they trusted you for harmony. If you're too self centered you just shouldn't trap others into relationships.

@Leo Gura you need to seriously look into this thread and offer some deep opinions here.

++1 for playing childish ego games and for having zero awareness for what someone might be going through and for labeling everything as victimhood and engaging in utter victim shaming. Wow spirituality, true growth. And thanks for showing that 100% responsibility means absolute lack of empathy. Be proud of your false growth. Lol.

Awesome.

I find it extremely pleasurable to imagine a ghost raping me or having sex with me Rape not in the sense of a crime but more like rough sex and sadomasochistic elements I've discovered that some of these sexual moments of deep intimacy and sex have been the most beautiful, peaceful, calming and relaxing and releasing for me. They have given me unusual strength and clarity. It's obviously supernatural but this is not my first brush with the supernatural and this won't be my last.

@Jacob Morres placing on ignore list. Welcome.