Tyler Robinson

Message to myself Do not engage trolls and haters who spread bullshit rumors. End.

Bypassed

I'll define it as the quality of criticism and who it is coming from. If a person who has shown decent credibility in terms of moral behavior, then their criticism is mostly coming from a good faith place and their criticism might also become an adjunct or supplement to the work you're doing or anything you're trying to mend. Whereas if the criticism is coming from a place where the person has no intention to build harmony with you or weren't looking out for your well being at the same time, I would say such criticism only serves the purpose of bringing down morale and interrupting the process of growth.

I also like to use Emerald as my inspiration. Will people like Emerald say the things that some people say? No. Absolutely not. So why should I care about what low-lifers have to say about me when someone like her has the high opinion of me.

When someone says that I'm not low IQ, they completely miss the point. The journal title wasn't a question, it was a statement, an aphorism

Bejapuskas pretty much summed up my feelings regarding this forum. In these lines Do you ever think about the black person being harmed here by the people questioning their validity, their intelligence, their everything, for the same of some dumb "serious philosophical discussion?" Like come on, there is no serious discussion happening and you see, both I and Tyler Robinson got harrassed here and so did many more. We are also people, we have feelings and we feel hurt in the space you are creating at this very moment by being so defensive of your fragile privileged ego who does not want to realize that people are actually victims and still tries to find some logic behind violence. Sure, go educate the oppressors, but don't silence us please, we are not guilty for our own hate, thank you. And it is also not our responsibility to advocate for our own safety and security. It is the obligation of those with privilege, they have more emotional resources than us, they are not constantly told to toughen up because people are dumb out there. African American dudes already feel shame here and so do others, do you think seeing a running discussion about race science does not trigger that? You bet it does.

When you say that a low IQ person is not allowed in a place then by that logic even black people should not be allowed in a place either because you assume that most black people are low IQ right? What happens when you question the validity and intelligence of black people? Then you start making theories on it, that black people have low IQ due to oppression for so many years. But at the same time, you try to provide space for them as a collective to thrive. Right? Then why can't the same accommodation be given to people who are low IQ as well. Like people tell me how I'm low IQ. By discriminating against me, aren't you discriminating against black people as well? If you care to have acceptance for all racial groups and to afford them dignity, then why do you use isolated traits used to describe those races and then discriminate people based on those traits. For example you'll call a woman ugly but you won't call a black woman ugly because you think it's racist, but aren't you still practicing some form of discrimination, you just don't want to be caught for it. It's like such people who get isolated and discriminated against become the minority of minorities. Can you see that? Since they can't hold enough power because they are not a group

When you say that a low IQ person is not allowed in a place then by that logic even black people should not be allowed in a place either because you assume that most black people are low IQ right? What happens when you question the validity and intelligence of black people? Then you start making theories on it, that black people have low IQ due to oppression for so many years. But at the same time, you try to provide space for them as a collective to thrive. Right? Then why can't the same accommodation be given to people who are low IQ as well. Like people tell me how I'm low IQ. By discriminating against me, aren't you discriminating against black people as well? If you care to have acceptance for all racial groups and to afford them dignity, then why do you use isolated traits used to describe those races and then discriminate people based on those traits. For example you'll call a woman ugly but you won't call a black woman ugly because you think it's racist, but aren't you still practicing some form of discrimination, you just don't want to be caught for it. It's like such people who get isolated and discriminated against become the minority of minorities. Can you see that? Since they can't hold enough power because they are not a group

That's all fine and good in theory. But what a person says has real practical implications. And criticism does hurt a bit, but it's not all bad. Criticism can perhaps help a person improve and better their message delivery? On an absolute level, nothing should matter at all because everything is irrelevant, but on a relative level, it makes a whole lot of difference. Should we fight the relative realm to make a better place, a better society, better people? Absolutely.

The reason he is so proud of himself is because that's his only security. Take anything away that he is proud of and he will start whining about it. Buddhism doesn't teach whining.

I want real protection, not false protection. And words don't do it.

You should be glad that you pulled through these bunch of weirdos.

I think I might have made some progress. From sexual fantasy to romantic fantasy.. My romantic fantasy is - yea that makes sense. Tarsis is the name of my female character. And Manny is the name of the male character I'm in love with. I used to think that romance is fickle. But who knows huh!!!

This is exactly how I felt — I am like this exactly because I already burned out from trying to be nice to close-minded individuals. If you don't trust my claim, I don't know what to tell you.

Do you think that Buddhism holds truth?

I agree that I don't know what its like. I'm just trying to provide a perspective on how you can be more effective at achieving your goals. I don't know if you still don't get it, but I tried your approach - it does not work to be nice to people. If you are a trans girl, or even a cis girl, any girl really, people will not take you seriously, even if you are nice to them. Speaking plainly, I don't really care whether your anti whatever. What I care about is the actual effects of people's behaviour. Just being anti something does not mean you are helping, sometimes you can be hindering the very goal you are going after. That shows how you privileged you are, not having to care about people's opinions all the time. You know for me it's a matter of safety on daily basis where I live. What you call actual effect on people's behavior is just your speculation. You are still assuming that being nice to people achieves change more easily but it does not. I am like this exactly because I already burned out from trying to be nice to close-minded individuals. If you don't trust my claim, I don't know what to tell you. For example, if a discussion on race realism gets banned is that good? Maybe the discussion stops. But maybe the poster feels alienated, and leaves forum, and joins 4chan instead. And on 4chan he gets radicalised further into racial hatred, and gets more and more people to join his 4chan space. Which leads to a black person being harmed. And if you are someone who encouraged the banning then imo you are partially responsible for that person's radicalisation. Maybe you consider that the effect of having the discussion actually has the consequence of harming a lot of people too i.e. an african american dude ends up feeling increased feelings of shame and fear, and on the balance of things you decide that the consequences of getting the discussions banned would be better. This is again just speculations of what happens. It is victim blaming. It is saying that the discrimination is the victim's fault. That she could have done something differently and then she would not face the hate. No, trust me, I tried, does not work. Try dressing up in a dress and go up to people and see how seriously they tell your philosophical arguments. They won't. Have you actually seen somebody joining 4chan after getting banned by me? I rarely actually ban people, even the neo-nazi guy I just put him at the border line ban, where if he does one more thing he will be out of here. I mostly ban serious spammers. Do you ever think about the black person being harmed here by the people questioning their validity, their intelligence, their everything, for the same of some dumb "serious philosophical discussion?" Like come on, there is no serious discussion happening and you see, both I and Tyler Robinson got harrassed here and so did many more. We are also people, we have feelings and we feel hurt in the space you are creating at this very moment by being so defensive of your fragile privileged ego who does not want to realize that people are actually victims and still tries to find some logic behind violence. Sure, go educate the oppressors, but don't silence us please, we are not guilty for our own hate, thank you. And it is also not our responsibility to advocate for our own safety and security. It is the obligation of those with privilege, they have more emotional resources than us, they are not constantly told to toughen up because people are dumb out there. African American dudes already feel shame here and so do others, do you think seeing a running discussion about race science does not trigger that? You bet it does. Its a complex thing to think about imo. And, I think righteousness is an indication of not understanding that. On another note, I'm not that interested in reading those articles at this time. Why are you not interested in that? Because they would question your privilege? Are you afraid of actually questioning your biases rather than just going to this forum and talking to like minded people all the time? Fine, you can watch the movie Bending the Arc or maybe the Netflix show Heartstopper instead if you want some entertainment. On 11/28/2022 at 5:50 AM, Thought Art said: This was all I can remember pushing back against. I think that people can have their opinions about what a man or woman is, and say it and they deserve respect about it even if I disagree or see more nuance and relativity. I think it’s dangerous and unfair whenever anyone questions or have different views than a or queer trans person that they get shunned, silenced and accused of hate. This, in my opinion is unfortunate over reactions of a culture which is at times over reactive and hypocritical. It is always us getting questioned and we also get silenced, so don't argue like this, you are making a fool of yourself. Having a different opinion on trans and queer politics because of your world view isn’t the same as being transphobic. I think there’s nuances there. No there are not. Equal rights for everyone is the only acceptable option. Nothing less. I am anti transphobic and anti hate and discrimination. But, I also see nuances and I don’t want the transphobic accusation to be weaponized just because we all have different views. I’m still contemplation, observing this. You can read what I think about this gross double standard above. Your kind has been ruling the world and everything is built around your fragile ego to please you everywhere in this world, so give us some space, thank you. I will always stand up to a Mod who thinks their world view is the only way to be. That, anyone who thinks else wise is to be silenced with warnings points. I never even said that I am literally just following the forum guidelines. What I was pushing back against is that one Mod thinks something is transphobic, and then gives warning points. But , is that person truly be transphobic and discriminatory? At the time I didn’t think so in that context and didn’t think it fair. It is in accordance to the forum guidelines to give warning points for shitty behavior. What else would they be for? Queer and trans people don’t run the world and Cis gendered straight people also deserve to share their beliefs in public discussion without being attacked and canceled. We live on a diverse planet. Just because a Christian believes in Christianity doesn’t make him anti Semitic. There’s nuances here. Bro no, cis people do run the world actually, and that is exactly why queer and trans people need to share their view. The cisgender view is already ingrained so deeply in everything, just look around yourself and question your ignorance. I know your going to label me as a bad evil person. No, but I think you are making some ignorant claims. But, I don’t think a man, woman, trans person, non cisgendered person etc who sees reality in a certain way, who disagrees with someone else’s world view is inherently hateful. But it can still cause emotional damage and there is like nobody speaking up against it, do you see how that is bad, at least a little bit? You may not be ‘seen’ by some people. But, also why are you so weak that you need EVERYONE to see you as you want them to. Yeh, I am actually so weak that I can withstand people like you questioning my identity. Cis guys every day prove their masculinity to everyone by acting so masculine, and cis girls by acting so feminine, but for you it is easy. You can marry whoever you want, have the body you want, have the kind of relationship you want, walk around safely, walk to bars without getting killed etc. You said a lot in your post that DOES however make me reflect and want to communicate better on the forum. I am glad, can we talk about that instead? I would be happy to answer any questions you have, I am just really tired of people at this point. I am sorry I have so much anger in me, but my life really is not easy and it does have to do with my identity. And if you approach me from a place of curiosity that I recognize clearly, I will answer anything you want (almost). I am one of those trans girls who is not afraid of talking with others about transitioning etc. so you can ask. On 11/28/2022 at 6:29 AM, Thought Art said: Okay, just throw all nuance about human diversity and it’s complexity out the window. Protection of people is not a thing about complexity and nuance, it is quite clear what it means to protect people. Read some stuff about victim blaming and consent. On 11/28/2022 at 7:27 AM, Carl-Richard said: Look outside of your own perspective for a moment and see that neither the "high consciousness" people nor the trans people on this forum necessarily agree with you. You have taken a very contentious issue and made people's existence on here depend on it. I don't think that is how warning points should be used just in principle, let alone that it would eventually decimate the amount of people on here. As I said, I ban less people than Leo. I maybe banned like 2 people in my entire career as a moderator. The other mods ban way more often than myself. You all are just thinking that I ban a lot, because I give warning points (and then take them away), but I actually mostly ban spammers. Instead of using warning points to do that, you can concede some ground to the opposing side so that discussion is possible, and maybe you'll persuade some people in the process — you know — what Leo was actually talking about in that blog post. Threatening someone's account with the hope that they might agree with you is power abuse. Could you do that for me please? It is not my responsibility to speak about my validity like every day you know? You also do not need to do that to remain a valid person. I am not abusing power, just read the guidelines. Also if you give warning points to someone in your moderation options, and you select hate speech, racism etc. the number of recommended points for that offence automatically increases to quite a lot. Just saying that it is not something I made up, it is already in the system. Again, I tried being nice to people, it does not work you all are just speculating and gaslighting me and victim blaming me, stop it. You know if you all created a safe space for trans people, maybe you would receive more articles like this that are actually pretty awesome and a lot of people could learn from them. They seem to address a lot of the problems with sexuality people commonly face here. I will share one that I like. But if you prefer a political echo chamber of conservative perspectives instead, sure. https://www.vice.com/en/article/jpy7g7/i-was-a-slave-to-testosterone-how-sex-changes-for-trans-women-on-hormones

I think Leo's thread is somewhat of a blessing. It showed me what dangers lay ahead.

This forum is made up of so many weirdos its crazy. I'm not saying I'm not one. I'm super weird but I thought I would be meeting normal people. I don't like reporting anyone but some people just send stupid stuff.

I didn't know this place sucked so much seriously. It almost gives me creepy feelings.

I mean I had enough of people talking to me in a threatening way. It's really like the situation where someone invites you at a party and then blames you if you arrived. Like wtf? People called me attention seeker when literally you're the one seeking my attention and cannot seem to live without it.

You feel like you just don't want to talk to anyone at all. It's so disgusting.

I mean literally the whole forum is asking for my ban. It's hard to keep myself normal when my mother triggers me at home, my relatives always send me mean comments because they hate my mom, I have literally no friends because most people in my building are elderly couples and when I come online, there's always a lot of negativity thrown at me because I get emotional quickly, I mean I had to dump my emotions somewhere after all, it's hard because my family is kinda harsh and doesn't allow any kind of communication or expression at home and they quickly turn it into yelling and screaming instead of trying to understand first, so it's like I'm literally talking to walls at home. I suck at socializing and whoever I make friends with only talk for some days and forget me later. So yeah the online space is where I feel comfortable feeling emotional. So outs tough that people don't understand it but make it look like I'm craving attention or doing something on purpose but don't realize that people come from dysfunctional homes and backgrounds are going to dump their emotions online, it's only natural that they will be seeking an outlet online through excessive posting or whatever. This reminds me of children at school who throw tantrums, steal others lunch, scream loudly, get into fights, nag others, tear clothes and get disobedient and disruptive and everyone blames them and calls them ugly or notorious attention seekers but people don't try to look into their home environment. These kids act like that because they get ignored or beaten at home, their parents don't love them and don't allow them to bond or experience happiness and give them constant stress and discomfort and these children then begin to show impact of such treatment by acting angry or disruptive and get very reactive. This also reminds of cats who constantly scratch their owners, roar loudly, hiss and constantly act aggressive and attack but it's because they either have an underlying health problem or their owners have constantly mistreated them so they act aggressive. But in a healthy environment the same cats will be behaving much better and pleasant and won't feel the need to be angry or fight back. It's hard when everything you do is misjudged and taken to be something it's not.

27 minutes ago, Thought Art said: @Tyler Robinson Why are you always engaged with Drama? Do you secretly find it fun? I just don't see it as drama. I see it as endless curiosity. Difference in perspective. Maybe most people who find me dramatic are just too orderly and disciplined and that's why feel like I'm dramatic in contrast. Rather than dramatic, I'm more chaotic. It gives this false illusion that I love drama. Also my brain is differently wired from most people. I have at least 9 thoughts racing through my mind per minute. It's very difficult to sustain such an unstable brain. When I don't express myself I feel like I'm going insane out of suffocation, that's why I post so much. It's like my brain is on steroids, sometimes I can't sleep because of it. Because the thoughts don't stop. Even if I do meditation, it comes back to that state. I think the reason is because I survived a lot of trauma in childhood. That's why my brain went into hyper survival mode and is constantly thinking to keep itself safe. Whenever I shut my brain or close my eyes, my heart rate goes up and I feel like I am being lazy or losing something or something will come and kill me, I become paranoid with fear if my brain is not thinking. So my brain goes into hyper thinking mode to feel safe and protected. My heart rate jumps whenever I wake up from sleep and I look around with a lot of fear, as though I committed some crime or forgot something that was important and then my brain forces itself to start thinking again. This happens subconsciously without me having any control over it. Like a constant state of hyper anxiety that I'm missing something by not thinking. This makes me want to constantly talk, connect, be in charge, spark some conversation to feel like I have some control over my life. It ends up creating a false illusion that I am seeking drama. It's just a hyper active mind due to living in survival mode for years

I just don't see it as drama. I see it as endless curiosity. Difference in perspective. Maybe most people who find me dramatic are just too orderly and disciplined and that's why feel like I'm dramatic in contrast. Rather than dramatic, I'm more chaotic. It gives this false illusion that I love drama. Also my brain is differently wired from most people. I have at least 9 thoughts racing through my mind per minute. It's very difficult to sustain such an unstable brain. When I don't express myself I feel like I'm going insane out of suffocation, that's why I post so much. It's like my brain is on steroids, sometimes I can't sleep because of it. Because the thoughts don't stop. Even if I do meditation, it comes back to that state. I think the reason is because I survived a lot of trauma in childhood. That's why my brain went into hyper survival mode and is constantly thinking to keep itself safe. Whenever I shut my brain or close my eyes, my heart rate goes up and I feel like I am being lazy or losing something or something will come and kill me, I become paranoid with fear if my brain is not thinking. So my brain goes into hyper thinking mode to feel safe and protected. My heart rate jumps whenever I wake up from sleep and I look around with a lot of fear, as though I committed some crime or forgot something that was important and then my brain forces itself to start thinking again. This happens subconsciously without me having any control over it. Like a constant state of hyper anxiety that I'm missing something by not thinking. This makes me want to constantly talk, connect, be in charge, spark some conversation to feel like I have some control over my life. It ends up creating a false illusion that I am seeking drama. It's just a hyper active mind due to living in survival mode for years

I mean literally the whole forum is asking for my ban. It's hard to keep myself normal when my mother triggers me at home, my relatives always send me mean comments because they hate my mom, I have literally no friends because most people in my building are elderly couples and when I come online, there's always a lot of negativity thrown at me because I get emotional quickly, I mean I had to dump my emotions somewhere after all, it's hard because my family is kinda harsh and doesn't allow any kind of communication or expression at home and they quickly turn it into yelling and screaming instead of trying to understand first, so it's like I'm literally talking to walls at home. I suck at socializing and whoever I make friends with only talk for some days and forget me later. So yeah the online space is where I feel comfortable feeling emotional. So outs tough that people don't understand it but make it look like I'm craving attention or doing something on purpose but don't realize that people come from dysfunctional homes and backgrounds are going to dump their emotions online, it's only natural that they will be seeking an outlet online through excessive posting or whatever. This reminds me of children at school who throw tantrums, steal others lunch, scream loudly, get into fights, nag others, tear clothes and get disobedient and disruptive and everyone blames them and calls them ugly or notorious attention seekers but people don't try to look into their home environment. These kids act like that because they get ignored or beaten at home, their parents don't love them and don't allow them to bond or experience happiness and give them constant stress and discomfort and these children then begin to show impact of such treatment by acting angry or disruptive and get very reactive. This also reminds of cats who constantly scratch their owners, roar loudly, hiss and constantly act aggressive and attack but it's because they either have an underlying health problem or their owners have constantly mistreated them so they act aggressive. But in a healthy environment the same cats will be behaving much better and pleasant and won't feel the need to be angry or fight back. It's hard when everything you do is misjudged and taken to be something it's not.