Tyler Robinson

Eat in the morning. But not too much. They can be heavy. You won't feel hungry for long. I agree with you.

The simple answer - no. I'm tired of how people constantly elevate sex to something Godly. It's just pleasure. Biological pleasure and sometimes emotional pleasure because it helps people bond. Sex = comfort eating

Your past self is no longer you. Without all your past experiences you wouldn't be who you're today. That past helped you grow and become the developed version today. So basically you are just an iteration in progress. So understand that this is how growth works and embrace reality instead of rejecting it. Reality is dysfunctional.

Maybe the dog saw the panther in your eyes when you were high, so they got triggered.

You need to start eating Oats. High energy with a small cup of oats. And banana. And orange juice. Then you'll turn into Pantera Ogra and sometimes Pantera Vegra.

@Kksd74628 I also have a thread for related discussion.

@Kksd74628 I don't know. My messages were having some technical issues since a week. I couldn't send messages to others. Nevermind. It's no issue. We can still have discussions here too.

That was great spiritual advice.

This is a good take. I actually made an entire thread on this if you care to participate in, This is the link to the thread. Would love your comments there.

Totally relatable. Often people feel turned off rather than being turned on.

Yea I'm a female. I just don't get it. I don't need to view it from my lense. I have had plenty of guys who used to have emotional breakdowns and they didn't want the girl only for sleeping. They wanted her for more. It's not fantasy at all. Saying that men can't be emotional is reducing them to robots. I don't know about you though. You make it look very mechanical but a lot of men are quite emotional.

Your situation is a bit different. I would highly recommend against this. A troubled person has to fix themselves before dealing with another troubled person, Lmao. You can't be the savior if you're unhealthy yourself. It's like a sick person is playing doctor. To a certain extent this can still work, for example I can see a pairing between a person with anger issues and a person with alcohol addiction. They can help each other because their core issues are unrelated. One is battling emotions and the other is battling addictions. Both could have mental issues that could be different. But I can't see a successful pairing between a person with depression and a person with anger issues. The person with constant anger outbursts can actually make the depressed person feel more depressed or demotivated. Such relationships can easily turn extremely toxic. So if you fit into these boxes then, I agree, you should never play savior to someone who also has issues, especially when those issues are either similar to yours or if those issues get negatively impacted by the combining of your issues with theirs. That's a fatal mix. So I can easily see why you were suicidal. That was a stupid mistake. Negotiations regarding issues early on are extremely important. You can't simply enter a relationship without actually knowing if you can cope or manage the other person's issues or not. For example it is tough for me to handle a bipolar person because they give me anxiety. But I could be okay with someone who is depressed or addicted because they don't complicate my emotions or they don't stress me out. So. I can handle them. In fact I have. This is a common flawed dynamic I observe in plenty of relationships which needs to be resolved. I have seen that a lot of troubled people instantly jump into a relationship with another troubled person. The underlying thought behind this is that they find the other person relatable. They think that they have something common to bond over and that they have someone who can understand their issues better. Meanwhile this is a good thought and I can see the simplistic reasoning behind why this would be considered favorable, the reality of such relationships is far from fantasy, a drug addict can make another drug addict'S issues much more complicated than helping each other out. Similarly a person with anger issues bonds with another person who has anger issues can lead to too much fighting and stress, constantly getting angry at one another. So the whole idea that another person with similar issues is more relatable can sometimes be a farce. I can still imagine a situation where such a dynamic can still hold some weight for what it's worth. For example if an alcohol addict is trying to bond with another alcohol addict who has fully recovered and been sober. The sober one can easily relate to the struggles of the currently struggling addict and also help them heal using their knowledge and experience with the issue. This can work incredibly well if the struggling addict fully cooperate with the sober one and make it work. But this is a unique situation with caveats in place to make it more cozy and bearable. Most relationships (psychologically speaking), where two disordered people are paired together can easily turn toxic to each other. I don't agree with this fully. It does look nice to escape the issues of the disordered person and it makes sense but I have seen couples that are doing really great with one person healthy and the other with a disorder. I have a couple in my community where a healthy man is married to a schizophrenic woman. The healthy guy helped her get meds and therapy and helped her cope. She is doing much better now than before and their relationship is very loving and solid. But he is extremely devoted and loving and that's why it works. He didn't just dump her because of her issues but was ready to make it work with her. This is a good point. You can't work with someone who got major issues. For example if a person is a heroin addict and they just don't give up, these are cases with not much hope of recovery and I would not recommend a healthy person to waste time trying to fix them because they're in some way "not fixable" or have reached what I call "the point of no return." Those cases cannot be handled even by therapists or doctors let alone partners. But common mental disorders, trauma, dysfunctions, issues aren't beyond repair or help and a healthier person can help them cope and recover and have a great relationship as well.

Oh wow this answer is truly impressive, something I was looking for. Brilliant. Yes a lot of healthy people could do that. I wouldn't encourage two unhealthy people together because they can complicate each other's issues instead of allowing healing. But a healthy secure person like you described can work with someone with disorder/trauma and help them cope and at the same time not get impacted by the negatives in the relationship because they're secure themselves. Your answer pretty much sums it up.

I'm sorry but all guys don't think like you. Your thinking lacks nuance. The only possible conclusion that can be drawn from your thought is - men don't have emotions at all. This is so wrong. Men have emotions. They are just as emotional as women are although women usually score on the higher side with emotions. Men are taught to not act emotional but this does not mean they lack emotion. Men have the biological craving for sex, no denying that. Yet, they want to connect with a woman where they can be vulnerable with her and connect and bond with her persona. They are not simply having sex. They are also happy connecting with her.

@NoSelfSelf I don't agree at all. That's a negative attitude to hold Not everyone does things for ego. We sometimes do things out of humanity or goodwill. I'm sorry nobody showed you humanity. Like they say - God might pass you by and you still won't realize

@Ulax I see. They can get unhinged and violent. My mother is bipolar.

At first I thought it was a joke. The next day he hinted that he was actually wanting to kill me and wasn't able to control his anger. That's when I realized that he was being serious. He apologized for mistreating me on the same day but I was already done with him. I couldn't take his mind games anymore. It was too much along with his bipolar manic rage and delusions.

Yea. Happened to me. I dated a bipolar maniac and one day he told me that he would peel off my skin and turn it into an umbrella. Glad that I took it as a joke. Not dating someone like Kanye West who is famously bipolar. Look what he did to Pete Davidson and Pete is Borderline. Pete is in therapy now. That kinda situation is messed up as fuck. Although I'm always attracted to bipolar guys, I think I should be slightly careful next time. I should be better at negotiating the bad stuff that might happen at some point inadvertently. I mean both bipolar men I dated gave me death threats lol, my bad.

I wouldn't recommend a trauma afflicted person to be involved with someone who is disordered. Because that's a double whammy. Two disordered dysfunctional people making it harder for each other. No way. But I can imagine a perfectly healthy normal mentally fit smart man engaging with a traumatized disordered woman and helping her heal, even providing her therapy or being her guide and therapist and helping her get better, giving her hope and a new life where she is at least partially recovered and able to have a proper (if not amazing) sustainable relationship with him forever. Aka her prince charming in doctors uniform. Can be possible.

Myopic view. I was once a fixer for my ex. He had depression. I wasn't trying to get love or attention. Nor was I looking for validation. I wasn't looking for anything. I simply wanted to help him so I could pull him out of his misery. This was purely my compassion and good intent to see him heal.. There was no benefit for me. I worked hard for him for 6 months, helped him deal with his depression, gave him emotional support and he slowly recovered. I felt happy for him. Sometimes people don't do things for validation or something in return, they simply do it to see others happy.. To put a smile on their face.

Well let's just say there's not much abundance in this perspective because you are very fixated on what you're losing. On the other hand people who are deeply Empathetic and generous and abundant, big hearted ones won't mind spending a chunk of time to see their partner healed. For them it would be worth it. Nothing wrong with your perspective though. But also nothing wrong with devoting ones time and effort to pull someone out of their misery. It's an act of deep love and compassion.

There's a lot to unpack here. I don't perceive guys with mommy issues as undesirable. I just find them incompatible, not undesirable. Which means that they could find a mommy type of girl who is Older and dominating, and I'm sure such dominating bossy women might find such men compatible and desirable since they are always looking to mommy someone. But I'm not that type. I'm quite submissive so I won't be compatible with a submissive guy with mommy issues. I won't reject him on the basis of undesirability but on the basis of incompatibility. But I won't say that nobody should date him. The post was neither about desirability nor compatibility. If you reject someone for their trauma issues, you could be rejecting even if they are physically attractive or desirable. You're rejecting them because you see them as a burden to deal with. The post was specifically made in response to Nilsi making the comment " I'm not going to waste my time by trying to form a relationship with immature, needy, troubled people. Im not at a point in my life, where I'm willing to waste my time, trying to fix some troubled girl with daddy issues. I think that this statement is not very wholesome. I don't see why being with a troubled person is such a crime. I feel there is a condemning tone to this kind of a thought. Some troubled people with issues are hard to deal with and I do not deny this. Yet there are many people with issues that can easily heal with some amount of support and help and empathy. So if a guy is putting some effort into improving his troubled or trauma ridden girlfriend and giving her support and she heals from her troubles and they have a great life together, I don't see how this could be condemned. I would look at this guy as a hero. It would be a great example of showing compassion and empathy to a partner and helping them to live their best life. I absolutely see no problem with this. Similarly if I were to date a guy who is an addict or alcoholic and who has depression issues, I wouldn't consider him a basket case or a waste of my time. If I like him for his other attributes, I don't see why I should have a problem in having him as a boyfriend, I would be glad and willing to help him with his addiction issues rather than condemn him for it. I would do my best to help him heal.. If my love and care and compassion can help him change his dysfunctional behavior and help him cope and become better, I would feel like a hero and I would be very happy to have made a positive difference in his life. Yea of course. There's absolutely no problem with the girl caring for him imo. I would actually admire the girl who cares for him in that way. To see his worries or concerns as a burden would be selfish. Something is dysfunctional only when it's really harmful. Most people have problems and nobody is perfect. A person can be dysfunctional but they can have amazing qualities. Like a guy with anger issues. He could be an amazing guy except when he is angry. This can be fixed with therapy. A supportive partner who is non judgemental can help him get over his anger issues. Give him space to heal. Help him out. I don't find condemning such people fair. If you're enabling a person and letting them run riot, you aren't actually helping them. You're making it worse. But I was specifically talking about being a compassionate support system and helping a troubled person, like giving them love and encouragement. It takes effort but if you love a person, the effort won't be too painful. You would feel rewarded to see your partner healed. So it would be worth the effort. This is about desirability. Maybe a dominant woman doesn't want a dominant guy in the bed. She might be happy with such a guy and not see him as weak. You're conflating two things. A girl can be super sexy and cute and physically attractive and still have trauma and anger issues. But the guy can help her heal and continue to have a productive life with her. This is every good relationship.

Sorry to hear about that. But I don't think all dysfunctional people fall in the same box. Not everyone is going to abuse you. Some of them might genuinely improve with tender care and support. In your case I can definitely understand why you would be wary of such dynamics in the future. But that's only when a dysfunctional person is being abusive. I'm clear from the beginning that abusive people need to be avoided. But all trauma victims aren't abusive.

This was a balanced take.

@Ulax right now I'm ok