Tyler Robinson

~~ Safe space please ~~ Probably the most important post on the forum. A disease I had predicted 4 years ago - I call it right wing maladaptive indoctrination epidemic. The ultimate cancer of the 21st century. #markmywords- this cancer/radicalization will damage the youth. (this topic should be moved to the Society section for safety purposes, it might get hijacked here by right wing youknowwho )

So basically it all comes down to this - singing your own merry tune even if nobody is listening. - Find a healing space in your own brain - finally cracking the code to suffering - solace and comfort in one's expression. After all even the devil can't stop that one. - going on and on, on what the heart wants. I will call this the heart song. - cutting chords is the best thing I ever did

Now that I have gotten myself out of that formidable situation (a sticky messy one), I have suddenly gotten my wings back again, I feel much more agile than before, the cure to all suffering, imagined or real, that is, it's only here, right here, as these words escape my lips, they heal my heart, nothing stops you/me from thinking what I want to think, in the privacy of my mind, this is a little secret, a place nobody can destroy, maybe this is the greatest Buddha-ian truth for all time, you never have to go anywhere, you never have to do anything extra, like Tao Te Ching says, everything finds its own rhythm if you stick to it hard enough.

I'm not at all surprised by whatever I see. Like nothing about humanity or people surprises me anymore, the same backbiting games, the same ego shtick. I don't think the forum is such a good place for me after all. Time to let it go at least sometimes, as much as I like talking to people, some part of it due to my own lack and self isolation for some time, it does give me that dopamine hit, that craving to talk to people, due to lack of human contact, but how much is too much, how much is where you begin to realize intuitively that this is all destructive, it's mind boggling, the mind always craves something that isn't good for the body, I've been watching this entire gamut of human games (without any tethering) almost for an entire year now, beginning 2021, I must say it wasn't that severe back then, it was a bit lame to a certain extent, and then came 2022, a lot changed since the month of March, rather dramatically, until then much was passive, and then I realized that I was breathing some poisonous gas but I was in too deep to find the escape route, and things came to a boiling point, head to head, ear to ear, everything felt much more real, it wasn't just letters on the screen by then, shit went too deep and it was too late to do anything about it, I was left wondering what was left to salvage anymore out of the putrid mess, and yes it was a groundbreaking thing, a watershed moment for me, I had to cut my own wings and break the chains at last. Come out of the whole mess in one piece and put back all the broken pieces together, let them mold in the furnace and give me the energy to fly back to my safe spot.

A lot of the times we do things that aren't the most beneficial in the context in which we look at it, much of it lack of cognitive instinct in the moment dulled out by emotional needs that precede judgement, wouldn't be the best to judge people when they were dealing with the worst.

I'm not at all surprised by whatever I see. Like nothing about humanity or people surprises me anymore, the same backbiting games, the same ego shtick. I don't think the forum is such a good place for me after all. Time to let it go at least sometimes, as much as I like talking to people, some part of it due to my own lack and self isolation for some time, it does give me that dopamine hit, that craving to talk to people, due to lack of human contact, but how much is too much, how much is where you begin to realize intuitively that this is all destructive, it's mind boggling, the mind always craves something that isn't good for the body, I've been watching this entire gamut of human games (without any tethering) almost for an entire year now, beginning 2021, I must say it wasn't that severe back then, it was a bit lame to a certain extent, and then came 2022, a lot changed since the month of March, rather dramatically, until then much was passive, and then I realized that I was breathing some poisonous gas but I was in too deep to find the escape route, and things came to a boiling point, head to head, ear to ear, everything felt much more real, it wasn't just letters on the screen by then, shit went too deep and it was too late to do anything about it, I was left wondering what was left to salvage anymore out of the putrid mess, and yes it was a groundbreaking thing, a watershed moment for me, I had to cut my own wings and break the chains at last. Come out of the whole mess in one piece and put back all the broken pieces together, let them mold in the furnace and give me the energy to fly back to my safe spot.

I'm so addicted to writing and I love to remain to myself. There's a certain flow, a release, giving up, that comes with writing down my own thoughts and perhaps there might have been some interruption somewhere, interesting, maybe the world I had always been looking for, is right here and I couldn't see it, everything eventually unfolds in a weird way.

Lmao some of the stuff I'm reading here. The irony

Leo always comes up with an auto-generated computerized used car salesman response every few months but rarely actually does anything substantial. LEO'S response - I want to make this forum more welcoming to women. There are two core issues here: 1) Men are simply biased by their sexual desires so they cannot think objectively about women. These biases are very deep and are not easily undone. And given the fact that something like 80% of my audience is male, it's sorta baked into the cake. As a man I also have some of these biases. 2) Redpill, Blackpill, Incel, and pickup ideologies have spread across the web like a virus and are difficult to undo. They are discussed here. Often we try to debunk them here. With that said, our Mods certainly do reign in the worst elements of this. We could do better but also these biases and ideas simply arise by having a bunch of guys talking about dating in one place. If you see clearly misogynistic posts, please report to a Mod or myself. But also remember that we cannot police all the bias out of people here. So try to distinguish between genuinely misogyny vs differences in perspective and natural bias. Part of learning to get better with women is seeing one's biases play themselves out. This place will never change for women. Guarantee

Why am I supposed to be silent about how I feel about this place? Why am I supposed to restrict my thoughts and feelings? If someone takes offense, is it really my fault? Shutting up someone when they feel bad about how they are treated is equivalent to child abuse. It's like saying - deal with it. I'm not going to change who I am just because a bunch of people don't like me or don't get along or don't care. I have been true to my feelings and I don't live for public approval I'm not going to pretend and act like this place is good for women just to seek the approval of all the men here. I ain't that cheap I always stand true by my conviction. Always have been. Always will. People act like I'm unhinged. No. I'm not unhinged. I'm just unfiltered, unabridged and unapologetic. And that's a bit hard for a lot of people to digest that a woman is being openly badass.

Whenever some male is unnecessarily acting aggressive towards me on the forum, I'm reminded of this post. Why I dislike this place so much and how I always get shamed and flogged for simply being frank about how I feel. This place is pure hell for women. And if I was the only woman Sensing the hellish energy here then this woman wouldn't have made this post. I'm not going to be putting up with passive aggressive abuse for the sake of validation.

Phenibut causes relaxation and euphoria, making it a desirable drug of abuse. It is also addictive and has potentially serious withdrawal symptoms, which is why it is not approved as a pharmaceutical in the United States.

What an aggressive way of responding back. Just blocked that person.. Ugh. I should know in such situations that I'm not the problem. I tried to be polite. People online can be so rude. I always forget this. Block people who I don't like and never talk to them again. Zero drama. I'm getting better at this than before. For the past 3 days I haven't even been on the forum. I came just once a day to check my journal. And this is my fourth day on the forum after a break of few days. And this happens. I swear this place swarms with negative energy. It's hard to take this place seriously anymore.

Now everytime something distracts me I'll write it here and know how to respond to it rather than responding to everything emotionally. Oof. I'm not here for entertainment Reminding myself.. Berrylee please bring back your focus.. What am I on the forum for? What was I on the forum for? Again? This forum should not consume my attention so much. I write about sex because it helps me connect to my deeper desires and my core biological instincts. Writing about sex helps me be in a loving mood with my partner. Reminds me of what I really wanted - sex, love and intimacy. My progress is very slow.. But it's taking place in increments. I'm a work in progress but I need to progress faster. What were you on the forum for+ Answer - I am here for my work primarily. Center yourself. Ground yourself. Interaction and communication is fine but don't take it too far. I'm tired of this place. Full of miserable, panicking, annoying cheap insecure, bored and Note to Leo - You were better off not telling it to everyone on the blog. Now it will be used against you. Bad decision. You should have thought this through if it didn't mean much to you anyway. Just like the solipsism video, this was another fuck up. You need pr lessons big time. Every few months you come up with something that is too controversial for the public. What do you expect anyway? That people should accept you. But that can't happen. Only those who are loyal will show you unconditional respect. Most people will gradually walk away because they can't handle it. People look up to you so it's kinda challenging for them to keep up. You could always have the I don't care attitude but that won't serve you well. Had you said that this was a traumatic experience for you and that you're still healing and dealing and that you want stuff to integrate and that it caused you suffering and you were looking for ways to cope, then there would have been partial damage control. Now that you said it wasn't trauma and there's nothing to heal or integrate it makes everything twice as much worse. In a way this is your way of establishing trust and gaining a loyal following and filtering out those people who don't wanna believe you by the process of auto elimination. So you keep leaking out these things over time in measured increments. Slowly and steadily. You would have overwhelmed people if you had said this right in the beginning. Its a priming process, kinda similar to grooming. Getting people to be used to you. Not saying that this is bad, just showing you what you are doing. Do what you like in the end and whatever serves your higher purpose. Again reminding myself that I'm not on this forum to deal with Leo's personal issues. It's his personal stuff although it's very very triggering to me. It's related to my aspects of child abuse. Leo does his drama every couple of months where he has to release some dramatic information about him. He could have finished this business long ago. But it has to be a long and drawn out soap opera. And I don't have enough patience with Leo's shenanigans Let him say anything he wants in the future. Last time all the hoopla was about solipsism. Now this. After 4 months there will be another dramatic revelation. Fuck off.. No time to be distracted by this nonsense. The whole forum gets engaged with the mess that Leo creates. It keeps his audience engaged. Oooof. Go away already. Do your work. And then it's very triggering and attracts your time and energy and attention that you could have spent in doing something productive for your life. What were you on the forum for+ Answer - I am here for my work primarily. Center yourself. Ground yourself. Interaction and communication is fine but don't take it too far. Note to myself - don't be a shit magnet. And don't be a drama magnet. Stay away from triggering stuff. Hard to do but do it Exited stupid Leo's thread. Oof. Relief. Drama magnets love this forum a bit too much eh!!!!

What's stopping you from making friends? You haven't added any details to your post. It's hard to assume what your exact situation is with so little information.

Everyone has a different perspective. 7 hours a week is not a huge deal for me. Maybe it's for you. No need to be aggressive over it. Anyway I tried to offer my perspective. All perspectives aren't going to be same. You do what suits you. If it's impacting you very badly then you already have your answer that you shouldn't do it. Maybe engage in other activities if you're bored. Go for a walk, distract yourself. Goodluck.

I had a bad dream last night. I get this particular dream quite frequently and I don't know how to interpret it. It makes me quite anxious. So in the dream, I'm running towards a small building/house. And I lay down on the front porch. My boyfriend comes along and I tell him to sleep beside me. After some time I can see my mother from far, quite far she can't see me, she is looking elsewhere but I see her. I motion my boyfriend to be completely silent and not make any movements so he hugs me tightly from the side and buries his face in my neck. After some time, I see my mother slowly approaching me, still not looking at me. My heart beat is going up. She is darn close yet its dark and she can't see me. She is looking up, then she is looking elsewhere, finally noticing the house, she doesn't look down. And then she turns around and walks away. I breathe a sigh of relief. My peace doesn't last long. I see her standing at a corner with her back towards me, and then she turns around and directly looks in my direction. I Can see her. And it feels like from the corner of her eye she can see me. She is walking at a steady pace in my direction, as though she knows what she is about to find. She is getting closer and closer. My heart is pounding with fear. Dream abruptly cuts off. I wake up in sweat. When I was a kid, I used to see my mother angrily marching towards me and I used to get extremely anxious. My mom traumatized me. I don't know how to interpret this dream! Is the dream linked to my childhood trauma?

They will go to work.

If you're doing it one hour per day, then that's easily 7 hours a week, and that's not bad at all. I wouldn't even call it addiction. It's healthy sex drive. I have had guys tell me they did 7 times a day and I thought that was addiction. You're making it a big deal. I understand that you feel you can use that time. But you aren't exactly wasting your time when you seek pleasure, time wasted is a subjective phenomenon. If you're doing it regularly then that's not an addiction. Men are hornier than women in general. Now it would be a different thing if this was interfering your work and you were ditching important stuff for it, in that case I would say it has become a problem, as long as you're able to do your normal work, it's no big deal You can avoid porn and I would recommend that very much because it easily turns into an addiction. However masturbating is completely normal and natural and far less addictive in comparison to porn. Also masturbating is healing and good for your health. It depends on how you view it. You can either consider it as a doorway for your natural sexuality to explore and evolve or consider it a stupid waste or time. Your relationship with it what you really need to heal instead of cutting it out. It's also unnatural and difficult to cut it out, it might make you crave sex even more and could also lead to issues with your partner in the future. You can't will it out of thin air so be careful how you play with it. Since it's a natural desire, you can't completely cut it out on cue, it might help you to seek ways to tame your sexual energy and gradually balance your time spent with it, which usually takes time, I used to be very horny but learned to control it. Do it in moderation is the best advice always. Cutting it out is like cutting fire and passion from your life. If you did that, then in older years it might turn you into those types of old monks who are sex crazy and perverted. People who repress stuff become deviant. Like Leo says, burn through karma.

There's something known as biological drive.

If you deserve love, then you deserve love. Don't make it complicated.

Why are you trying to stop something that your body naturally craves. You don't have to. Try to have a balance and it won't bother you as much.