Tyler Robinson

@LSD-Rumi I will need some time to be decisive.

I'm in a state of emotional turmoil and a moral and emotional dilemma. And somewhat moral/emotional panic. The situation has left me harrowed and emotionally drained. Trying to process whatever happened. Lot of strife going on inside me in the moment. Part of me wants to dump him immediately out of sheer disappointment. Part of me feels like I should wait and not rush to a quick decision and give him time Another part of me feels like dumping him is merciless and uncompassionate when he is feeling like shit and was honest in admitting it. Almost like I would be punishing him by dumping. He is emotional over this and I should care about him too, not just myself. I don't want to shock him. The situation is delicate.

I need to do a bit of ranting to get things off my chest.

Such a thing doesn't exist. Look for a reasonable respectful partner where you both contribute equally to a relationship while maintaining a high level of respect for each other. Humans are rarely capable of unconditional love and this inconvenient truth has to be embraced although the joy of a relationship can still be experienced with people who aren't exactly fitting the description of a soulmate as long as they maintain respect, love and understanding in a relationship.

I have a 24/7 security at my house so zero break-Ins. Two years ago I lived in a hostel. You know what happened? A robbery. The housekeeping couple living with the owner broke into my locked room(when I was at the gym) and stole my blender, a phone charger, stuff from my backpack and 3 pairs of brand new expensive stilettos (each worth $160). I had bought them for my birthday just a week before they were stolen (the first time I got myself heels) and had never used them. It made me so mad, I immediately left that place. This is what happens in shared housing. Even my doormat was stolen by the girl who was sharing the house with me and she would constantly act clueless when asked about it. I was at the end of my rope dealing with such people shamelessly stealing all my stuff.. I have severe social anxiety so I don't go around knocking on people's doors asking them to return back my stolen stuff. Neither did I file a police report because I just didn't want to deal with the mess and drama.. I was too anxious.. I simply cannot survive in groups of people - they will prey on me and eat me up.. And I'm non confrontational and autistic. I just choose to not stand up for myself which makes it easier for most people to prey on me and get away with it. I don't confront most of the time. But this attitude can seriously cost me if I were to live in a commune. Most people will figure me out right away and start acting nasty with me knowing fully they will get away with it. That's why living with people needs some real big balls and the ability to socialize and influence, which I apparently lack because of my autism. Now you get the idea why people want a stable owned home? Now I live in a high end place with a privately owned home and security so no robberies since moving into my new home

@Ethan1 you're daydreaming. Retreat costs are exponentially higher than your monthly rent. High end retreats. Owning a home is a stable financial decision. What happens when you are in the hospital or in another city and somebody comes and occupies your silly tent. How do you provide a stable roof for your kids? Heck even in privately owned apartments, there are robberies, home invasions and frequent breakins. That's why people own guns, security Alarms and live in gated townships. Housing comes with taxes, records, documents of ownership, signatures, court stamps and notarized papers. It's no joke. It also comes with insurance if you have enough money. Does a tent come with an insurance? Most people pay rent because they can't afford owning a home. Even in leased apartments, there's a system for electricity and plumbing and house repairs, most of the costs are borne by the landlord and that's why tenants rely on the landlord, they aren't paying rent for nothing. If anything happens, it's the landlord's responsibility, including security. A home is not just a home, it's also a secure place. You have a house alarm, an address that law enforcement can visit if you need help, it's made concrete and solid so nobody can simply bulldoze it at will. Even the government cannot snatch it from you if you legally own it. What you're suggesting is fine for single Bachelors or vagabonds who are used to living out of cars and suitcases. But once you have a small/large family (even a bare minimum of 3 family members), you gotta have a stable roof, a proof of legal ownership, constant proper supply of gas, water, electricity and access to basic utilities in the middle of a city. Renting is already complicated enough with renters, roommates, tenants, landlords often getting into huge fights over the pettiest of issues. And you're talking about shared housing? You really imagine that people won't fight ever? You will need to bring together Eckhart Tolle's followers if you want to create a zero fight zone. Because most humans aren't that high consciousness to maintain this ultra idealistic level of harmony you're fantasizing. Your idea is (its idealistically beautiful) not suitable or sustainable in the long term because you can't create enough autonomy in a commune no matter whatever benefits you ascribe to it in the sense of cheaper costs and shared living. It's based on this fantasy that humans are okay not having absolute autonomy. If you carried out a survey and asked most people about their housing aspirations, the most likely answer would be - a huge bachelor pad in the middle of California or by the beach. People want something big that they can flaunt or boast about to their friends and a tent in an Eco village is not one of those things.

Not true. I humbly disagree. My Father was not a good lover but a great parent. Mixing parenting with how two adults act around each other is like mixing students with good grades with employees who perform well at work. That doesn't gel together. Lot of students just don't have employable skills despite good grades and would make very poor employees. These are two diametrically different situations that need very different skill sets Parenting is a very complicated skill that most people aren't good at because they have neither the manual nor the skill for it Relationship and parenting are contextually different and need different brain wirings. That's why most couples fail. Although a good parent is someone who can also be considered good at relationships in general because they have the required maturity and intelligence, though most relationships thrive on mostly lust and attraction, having a matured partner takes a lot of stress off a relationship but cannot guarantee success. (although your cute post shows a beautiful amalgamation of masculine and feminine connection, it has nothing to do with the title of the post)

@Ethan1 Oh, I thought it meant stunningly handsome. Nevermind.

If you're very strong, that is.

He is generally sweet. He can be judgemental sometimes. But I escape his hammer skillfully every time. Clever me. He is not that bad. Sometimes fucks up but apologizes later and settles it. I, for my part, am an extremely non judgemental person in relationships. Most of the time I act like a fly on the wall, nothing really bugs me much as long as a person cares enough to talk it out.

This perspective is important. My perspective here is probably incomplete and not fleshed out entirely, but i thought i'd give it a shot. Pronouns have a grammatical function, they are literally pro-nouns, meaning they are grammatical fillers used to replace names and nouns. It only makes sense for pronouns to be a limited group of words, so that they are used at a high frequency and everybody knows them. If you want to be specific about the thing or person you are talking about, the name or noun is the more precise choice. It can obviously be tedious to repeat a person's name a billion times throughout a conversation, which is why pronouns were invented in the first place. Having more than about 10 to 20 different pronouns or so kind of defeats the purpose of the grammatical medium...so either get rid of them, or acknowledge that pronouns are meant to be a very imprecise and abstract category. I believe that we need to strike the right balance in this regard. People want to be respected for who they are and that's part of the LGBTQ empowerment. Their standing up for their identities and for the first time owning their inner and outer diversity is a big step up for most of them, and the public performance and acknowledgement thereof is a central part of this. However, i would argue that an excessive demand for other people's respect and validation is a bit of a shadow side of the LGBTQ community. It's powerful that they begin to introspect their identities, and naturally they do find a lot of inner diversity, subtle and conflicting energy forms, masculine and feminine energies opposing and collaborating within themselves. But it is neither practical nor necessary to force people to acknolwedge your identity in every conversation you ever have. That's like wanting your boss to acknowledge that you don't like coffee or the colour blue but do like earl grey tea and a pale shade of purple when that is actually completely irrelevant to the conversation. In other words, a category is useful in that it always always always reduces things down to one or a few shared characteristics. If we were to be 100% accurate, we would not be able to communicate at all, because every single thing (or worse, every holon) in infinity would need its own name. The power of language lies in its ability to abstract and conceptualise. While we can definitely adapt language to our social needs (....also, the more we investigate something the more disctinctions we make and the more labels we invent for it....), especially in this case, given that gender is quite important to our current society, we should remain aware that there are limits to this. After all, you can respect a person for who they are, without all their identity aspects and preferances being known to or verbally acknowledged by you. In this specific context, i personally think that it makes much more sense to focus on pronouns that emphasise our shared identity as "human", rather than going down the rabbit hole and feeling like we need to invent a new label for every subtlety of expression and energy that we find within ourselves.

@Judy2 I was really enjoying your journals. I wish you would write journals again.

@Ulax thanks a ton. I'm ending it too..

There are a ton on YouTube you know. Just type cult in search. You'll get a million. Very deep experiences. You will learn a lot. Also look into pyramid multi level network marketing schemes. They are similar cult type dynamics and a lot of it is pure scam.

I'll take your suggestion into consideration. Thank you.

No. Leo told me this if I correctly remember. I kept that in mind. (Leo told me not to be a part of a hippie commune or similar groups because these so called organized groups are ripe for abuse, Ego games and cult dynamics. Most hypocritical people being part of such groups. That's what his opinion was when I asked him about it.)

And I was being sincere in letting you know that invalidating others feelings can come across as manipulative. I meant no harm to you. I was only suggesting you. That's the only respectful way I could have taken. Did I ever signal any disrespect to you, then show me? But you took it hostile at least initially? You're suggesting that someone else on the same thread should show compassion to a comment that was dehumanizing to them. Yet in the same breath you can't show compassion to me? You immediately judged me and took my comment in a hostile way and then when I tried to explain you a bit more, you realized that it wasn't as hostile as it initially seemed. That means it was only a shift in your perspective. Maybe you judged me as hostile, because your parent probably communicated you in ways that has made you think that anyone who criticizes you in a straightforward way is being hostile to you? If you healed from your trauma completely, you probably would have seen my comment in a more compassionate manner and realized that I was telling you something about invalidation a behavior we sometimes unconsciously engage in without ill intent. I don't think I got compassion from you though.

Now we're arguing like husband and wife. Can a wife ever tell you that there's something wrong with your perspective? Or are you always the right one? Your conversation with me reads like this - Wife says - Mr Husband should slightly change the way he says and I make a suggestion that he includes my request and understands that what he says appears a bit invalidating of my feelings. Like he is trying to say that maybe I'm wrong when I know I felt what I felt Husband says - Miss Wife, If you think I'm wrong, we should take this to divorce court and let them decide if I was wrong. Only then I'll hear your suggestion. Wife says - Do you ever listen? ................................................. Impossible! It's impossible to tell you something because you always want a third party to decide things. And what if the third party wasn't able to judge it right. Why be so sure? If I genuinely felt your comments were harmful I would have reported them. I was telling you that telling others that they can feel a different way can sometimes come across as a manipulative tactic. You could have easily replied - "yes I understand what you mean and I'll take care of it and not suggest him anything opposite of what he feels and make sure that he doesn't feel like his feelings aren't valid meanwhile also explaining him my perspective." Try taking my comments non judgementally next time. You have your own trauma to work on.

Ripe for abuse. Cult mechanics

Just suggesting you something is so bad? You mean to say that you cannot even accept a simple suggestion. I only requested you to not tell him to not feel the way he feels. That was just a simple request. I'll leave it here. I'm not interested in targeting you or making you feel inappropriate. No I never said that. I was just cautioning you. Maybe take a chill pill. I'm all for harmony always. Please take my suggestion instead of ignoring me. I meant everything for good reasons. Don't assume that I'm blaming you, just pointing out something that you did that you could slightly change a bit. I hope you can be criticized and you don't make big out of little corrections people make of you. If you feel so bad about my comment, I'll leave it here and won't reply anymore. Go ahead.

I asked him. He told me that he wanted to verify if I was being loyal to him. Some dude friend of his gave him this idea/technique to try on me and see if the experiment worked. He felt guilty because (maybe he was looking to find something to blame me for but realized that he simply suspected me for nothing) I mean when he posed as another guy, I told this guy that I already have a boyfriend that I wish to remain loyal to. I guess when he read what I said - that specific moment must have been embarrassing for him emotionally. I mean here he was suspecting that I will easily give into another dude and cheat on him and get flirty/dirty with another dude behind his back. But the plan misfired and kinda backfired in his face. It didn't happen the way he imagined. Maybe he was looking for some dirt on me and catch me raw. I'm a flirty person, I get it and sometimes I do tend to talk to men in flirty ways. It's my disposition. Doesn't mean that I'm actually going to cheat. I tend to act overtly sexual but that's just my nature and I'm like that. I don't flirt with guys with a specific intent in mind. It's very much on the spot. My intentions are generally always clear when I make specific statements. Like if I want a relationship I will ask for it. I'm a straight shooter. If I want to break up I'll break up. I won't do sneaky games behind someone's back and then wait for things to unfold. I am just not that type. I understand his insecurity because of my flirty nature with men. I tend to talk to any man however I please. Free flow. This might be bugging him secretly. He might have thought that I am the cheater type because of my proclivous nature toward flirting. I get it. I can be hard to deal with in that department of things. Any guy can easily feel jealous around me. In fact most of my exes have felt jealous in my relationships, assuming I will go with another dude who is trying to please me. So I'm used to being told that they are jealous.. Now I'll always try my best to ensure my partner of my loyalty. I can't do much if somebody doesn't trust me. I have never cheated on my exes and I consider cheating on a partner as a horrible thing to do. That shit is not okay and there's no justification for cheating.. But it's hard to convince someone of your loyalty if they easily get suspicious.. Although my own lax behavior around men could be contributing to this suspicion. It's easy to think- "oh she is openly flirting with this guy. I think she will cheat on me. She is not reliable." At the same time I can't change who I am. I can't change how I talk. This is just my nature and not reflective of any kind of intent. I made it totally clear to him that I don't intend to cheat on him. Now if he doesn't trust me despite my frankness on the issue then it's his own mind playing games with him.

That's okay. But don't try to change how he feels or tell him to feel a certain way. Not a right thing to do. He is entitled to how he feels. Just offer him a perspective but also sympathize with how he feels. Is that okay?

No.. Yelling at someone in public and shouting women power especially to a man is condescending and humiliating. What if a man said "man power" to a woman loudly out of his car in public. We would instantly be defending the woman by calling him a sexist misogynist asshole. That woman wasn't showing concern. If she was so concerned then she would actually shown her concern by getting out of the car and rescuing the woman herself. That would have actually looked like true woman power - a woman actually helping another woman instead of preaching a man on what woman power is. That she wouldn't do because such women are fake. They like to shout girl power but when it actually comes to supporting a woman in her need, they back off like cowards. Such women also attack any woman who doesn't agree with them and still talk about girl power. Lmfao. I have been familiar with such women. They are the female version of the white knights. They love to preach people in condescending ways but don't do the required action themselves. She was playing an ego game by acting like she cares to another person who actually cares. If she really cared she would have given the drunk woman a ride home. But that's exactly she won't do because her shit is to create unnecessary public drama and use a situation to her advantage and try to look like a concerned individual by shouting but not actually doing anything. She must be a pro at this

Classic gaslighting technique looks like this - you're wrong. Your feelings are wrong. Maybe you took it the wrong way. Maybe you shouldn't feel like this. They didn't mean anything bad. It's you who took it bad. You felt bad because you were wrong. Otherwise you wouldn't feel bad. If you took it another way you would not feel bad. You don't see it the right way. You are misinterpreting it because you are deluded. Your feelings aren't valid. You could have interpreted this in another way. You don't know the truth. I could go on and on. You get the idea.

LOL don't gaslight him. I know you're good at psychology But this dude Tron felt what he felt very instinctively. You can see he is a bit instinctive from all of his responses. He had a on the spot natural reaction to the situation. When we feel what we truly feel, our intuition is telling us the right thing - it's called gut feeling He felt dehumanized and there's no need to judge him for that. He is simply being frank. There's no need to change how he felt. Or make him feel something he didn't feel in the situation. He is right in being reactive. Any person who genuinely feels humiliated should have the right to vent and telling them otherwise is to manipulate their emotions. I'm warning the OP @Tron to stay away from such manipulative tactics. Be genuine and stick to your feelings and don't let people tell you otherwise.