Tyler Robinson

I think some men defend slut shaming by saying that it's a way to criticize a woman who could be a potential cheater in a relationship and this defensiveness helps them to filter out such women pre-emptively. I don't think you need a Mormon to slut shame a woman. Guys of all backgrounds religious and non religious tend to engage (and women of course) in this behavior, they assume any woman who is with many guys is not deserving of dignity or is without class.

I think somehow somewhere I'm always craving for a closure. You shouldn't be with people who don't respect you. Maturity is limited. It cannot go beyond a particular level. Tribalism is liberation for me. It's something I have always been looking for. I need a strong in group loyalty. I want people who can keep my trust. Self compassion is a huge key. Tribalism Maturity Closure NPC Magical aspect to life Closer to reality Don't live in fantasy. Live in reality. The further you get from reality, the uglier reality becomes. You have to embrace reality. I have seen people( who are very pragmatic) fail in life because they were overly confident. Their maturity was astounding. But they were too narrowly focused on life. Narcissists and Dreamers https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/85687-narcissists-and-dreamers-both-fail-at-life/ The problem with matured people is that they easily think that they can control reality. That's why they get complacent and show no growth after a specific period. There are two vital components To not run away from reality To not try to control reality either How do you avoid both Don't engage in fantastical thinking. Don't escape reality. Accept it. Embrace it. Love it in every facet that it exists. Develop intimacy with your reality.

You were an important part of my life in a spiritual context.. You helped me understand intimacy. We did a lot of trauma and karma to each other. Day before yesterday you talked about forgiveness and closure. It helped me a lot. At least knowing that you don't hate me as much as I believed you did. I was very panicky while talking to you. I was literally exploding with fear from inside. I thought you just wouldn't be ready to talk.. I'm glad that you tried to allow me some openness.

I'm a human being not an animal. Before judging me know that a human being is sitting behind this computer. I don't deserve to be judged. I have only done what humans do. I truly loved you. I never meant any harm You were a part of my soul family. You came into my world and gave me hope in situation where I had no hope or desire to live. My future was very bleak. You gave me some support and I felt really good. I did what a hungry child would have done. I grabbed your hand out of desperation. I did wrong to you and I hurt you. And I accept full responsibility for it. Your forgiveness means a lot to me. I was unable to communicate my fears, worries and situations to you. There was simply no chance to do that. It led to a lot of misconceptions and hostility. Even if there was a chance to communicate my situation, I wouldn't have successfully let you know how I felt because I suffer autism and it's not mild. It's severe autism. And because of that I'm unable to express my thoughts in exact words. I am never able to say how I really feel or what's happening with me. That's why I get misunderstood a lot. I think people with autism should not have relationships. Because they will never be truly understood and misunderstandings will cost them their life. I hope some day you would be able to Intuitively feel my pain, my reasons, my intentions without me needing to communicate those to you. Back in those days I really thought you were my husband. I should not have pressured you with such a huge responsibility. I wish I had a husband who would understand me and spend their life with me. I would do so much to heal.

Thanks.

So my bf texted me as someone else, a random stranger. And tried flirting with me. He did this to test if I'm loyal to him or not(that's what he told me later). I told the random stranger (that is my bf posing as him), that I have a bf that I wish to remain faithful to. He openly confessed about it later and I really did not feel disgusted. Just amused that he would pull something like that. He apologized and he felt sorry for not trusting me enough and testing my loyalty in this weird way. Do you think he is being weird? I didn't mind it that much or probably I wanted to hide my disappointment and still keep it cheerful. I don't want him to feel bad or get mad at him. I know guys can sometimes feel like that about their gf and it's okay, I don't want to feed into his insecurity by challenging him. A friend of mine told me that they would break up or get totally mad if the same happened to them. That got me quizzing if I'm being too lackadaisical. He is very guilty about it and he can't stop fussing about it constantly. He brings it up and then keeps apologizing. I told him it's okay and no worries. He is feeling a bit sloughed by the whole situation. I don't know what I can do here. I care about him deeply and I don't want him to feel like I'm disappointed in him..

I'm being completely honest. His sex is not an issue. We have great sexual chemistry. But I feel horny most of the time, yet I don't feel like having or wanting sex. I generally crave sex only when he is with me, not otherwise. I am naturally a bit sexy from inside. Sexy, flirty, horny is all same for me. I would be sexy and horny even when a man is not around. It's just how I am. I am a romantic person at heart. It's like my artistic expression for me.. I don't do it for any other reason than that I just feel like it from within. It's my natural state of mind. I guess some people are more romantic than others. I'm very happy with him sexually because he is very pleasant and always respectful of my desires. But how I am when is not around has little to do with his sex. I don't associate everything I do with him. I have a life of my own. I like him because we have a great connection. I feel strong intimacy and bonding with him. Our communication is great. He never hides anything from me which I especially admire about him. His honesty is what I appreciate.. And he gives me a feeling of belongingness because of how much he wants me. Yea I do have hormonal issues that make me feel horny a lot but doesn't make me wanna have sex. I release that sexual tension by writing about it. I don't feel like having sex all the time just this extra horniness that I feel. But I am okay with it, it doesn't disturb my work. I don't feel the need to see a doctor.. A higher level of hormones is a slight imbalance, not a disease. Some people are more horny than others. Not everything is a big danger. I'm not horny specifically towards them, I'm just horny. And I'm naturally flirty. It's my disposition.. It might not be normal for other women. I guess I'm more sexually free. I worked on my sexual repression and then I saw that I more horny than usual. Maybe a lot of women are conditioned to not act out their horniness or they shame themselves in to suppressing it. I don't know. But I like how I am, I feel sexually free and I don't see any problems with it even if others find it abnormal. For me horny is feeling nice, warm, sexy inside and being in a sexy mood. If it's not ok, it's fine lol. It's something that makes me unique probably. I absolutely do not believe this. I see men flirt. And they don't cheat even if the wives are in some other place. No they simply won't cheat. Maybe find loyal men. This is a disastrous view on men. A large number of men are super duper loyal to their wives. Why do you peg men morally so low? You act as though men are horny bulls just waiting for sex regardless of moral constitution or integrity. You're very wrong. A true man doesn't want to hurt his wife and he is not waiting for any green signal. Men everywhere are the same. A character of a man or woman is irrespective of their gender. You're generalizing gender. Men this. Women that. Think about individuals rather than a whole gender. I'm not playing any games. Zero games in fact. I'm simply being myself which is very instinctual. If I'm sexy, it's my self expression. It doesn't matter if someone is impressed by it or not, in fact most people are repulsed. Because I'm flirty and it doesn't matter who is in front of me. I can even flirt with a robot. I don't do it for any agenda against him or society. I'm simply this way. It's my natural self. I don't seek any validation. If I feel like doing something and if it's my heart's desire I just do it. It's like if I want to wear a flower in my head because I have a desire to do so, I do it. Not to please anyone but to please my own self. Other people don't matter much to me. The same example of the flower in the hair. I like doing something but I'm generally not thinking about what people would think. It's more about pleasing myself. It's like I want to look good in the mirror so I wear different clothes, people might assume that I'm doing it for them, but that's their assumption. These are just projections and silly assumptions you're mirroring at me. I do get you though. It's just like my boyfriend. I run into this a lot where people assume things. I end up giving wrong impressions and I'm very used to this. I'm an artistic independent romantic self expression addict at heart. I do as I please with zero agenda, social gaming or need for validation or to display anything. Everything I do is just a random desire I pursue. My boyfriend thinks that my flirty behavior means I might be wanting to cheat. Which is his insecurity and projection speaking. He did not have to go that far to test me. Anyways his test failed and he is regretting it.

Hahahahahahahaha. I completely understand what you mean. But you got me completely wrong here and it's not your fault at all. I don't try to act sexy or wear sexy on purpose. I simply get overly horny. That's actually a hormonal issue that I have since a long time. Because of my hormones and horniness, I tend to overtly sexual and kinda flirty although with zero intent of sleeping with anyone. It's simply my self expression. Acting flirty is just a habit for me. I like being that way because my brain is like that. But I never have the urge to sleep with anyone because my loyalty is absolutely important to me, I won't ever cheat on my boyfriend at any cost. I have a set way of doing things. So even if a guy was seducing me, it will have zero impact on me, my mind is set on being loyal to my partner. My flirty behavior sends a wrong impression that I might cheat on him. So I get why he feels insecure. But I have made it clear to him long ago that I am not the cheating type. And he was chill with me flirting. My flirting behavior will never change, it's a part of my personality, it's who I am. It's like how some people are naturally funny, I'm naturally flirty. Although I don't do it to seek validation from men. I like being me but I don't seek any validation, though it might give off that impression. My flirty nature does get me into a lot of trouble because many of my exes wrongly assumed that I was cheating (or I might have) on them or got jealous. I'm used to being looked at that way.. My flirty behavior is simply a reaction of my horniness and frankly I don't see much of a problem with it as long as I have zero intent in mind. When I have no corrupt intent, I am not afraid of being myself. Someone's misinterpretation of my character shouldn't be my worry. There are many married men who flirt with women. But that does not automatically translate that they must be cheating on their wives. Like people who think their spouses are cheating simply because they saw them flirting should learn to grow up.

@thepixelmonk do you think there's a tiny bit of half truth with the saying - if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Kinda like - - if you truly loved someone, you would love them for who they are and accept their flaws too. What do you think about this?

You have a very sharp intellect. I never saw it that way. Yea I agree with you. I guess I am not supposed to be someone's mommy. I deserve respect and trust. Forgiveness is one thing and I don't lack with being forgiving. But I think that boundaries between respect and forgiveness shouldn't be blurred.

Guaranteed. That was great insight.

Time to lock the thread.

Thank you. That was helpful

And you're proving it.

I'm actually not able to follow what he is trying to suggest me. Is he trying to tell me that it's all a communication issue?

You tell me.

@Loving Radiance if he was so chill he wouldn't have pulled this awkward stunt to begin with. I don't know how to communicate with with someone who is so dense in cognitive dissonance. I'm not some psychologist.

This topic sounds so silly. Just a battle over what ego means. I mean what's the output here. This looks like a totally pointless discussion to me. I felt like I read garbage. My head is spinning reading this.

Could be. I never noticed and he never said anything specifically. In fact he would always automatically/spontaneously say that he was okay with me flirting with other guys and that he trusts me. So I never had any cause for concern. I hate it because it's usually these types - who act like everything is okay and they are so chill, who turn out to be not that chill..

I did not understand what you meant by you won't sleep with them. You mean if your partner were lying, you won't sleep with them? A tad harsh I assume. Energy shifts are about psychic energy. If you have ever been a psychic you would know what I meant. Btw I'm a liar myself so all those are trusted techniques. You're getting it straight from the horses mouth.

How to know if someone is lying - This is very difficult. Your technique does not sound appropriate to me. A hurt feeling in the throat could be psycho-somatic in nature where you believe that that something is causing it, but this could be placebo effect. How Will I know if someone is lying - ----- Check for eye contact. Most liars cannot make eye contact while lying. ----- Learn to get intuitive with the person. This is a psychic ability that tells you automatically that the person is lying because of energy shifts you experience from them. ----- Ask very direct pointed questions over and over. Liars hate to repeat their lies. Probing them directly helps to target their game. Liars tend to be vague. Asking a direct question is a good way of cutting through their vagueness and coming directly to the point. ----- Ask them when they just wake up. Most liars can't keep up with their shit when they are either drunk or just waking up. This is the most annoying time for them and they can lose their shit and tell the truth. ----- if it's your partner who is lying, then try sleeping next to them and cuddle with them and feel their body. Lying causes body temperature to either increase or drop. Touching their skin will help you sense body temperature changes as they speak their lies. Most liars tend to feel extremely anxious while lying. So there's a high pulse rate while lying. If you touch the person's neck and wrist while they are lying, you will notice the pulse going up. ----- liars don't like intimacy(especially while they are lying) . Liars tend to distance themselves immediately while lying. You can notice a certain coldness while they are lying. Being intimate with them during the time they are lying will make them uncomfortable. Notice this discomfort.

Thanks.

Where I get to experience true joy Wholesome relationships I get to reach my creative potential Excellent health Longer life span - 70 years Zero pressure Able to serve society and contribute max

You can't buy a heart.

He expressed his fears.