Tyler Robinson

Today someone sent me a message and taught me an important lesson that I must learn. It was very wise. I get emotional, very very emotional and my wisdom completely turns off. But this guy who sent me this message really helped me sort out my situation and show me clarity over whatever I'm dealing with over the whole past week This was the message. I don't want to talk about it any more. That's not how I interpreted the situation, but it doesn't matter how I interpreted it. What's the point of that bullshit? Stop worrying about Leo or other people on this forum. Focus on working on your own life. I am telling you to let it go because you are clearly overreacting. Leo is not a horrible racist you paint him to be. But arguing with you about it is useless so I am telling you to let it go instead. I am telling you this not because I find you annoying but because I can see how worrying about that distracts you from actually changing your life for the better. You don't like Leo? Fine find yourself another teacher who you like. Or just figure stuff out on your own. But don't get stuck for another 10 years bulshitting about useless shit over and over again. Can't you see how you are wasting your life that way??? You are right about quitting the forum though. I should do that as well.

This is the song of my life. I wish a man had sung this song /lyrics to me. I wish the whole world would sing this song to me. It's the best song ever to heal broken wounded hearts. The song is called Hello by Lionel Ritchie. "Hello" I've been alone with you Inside my mind And in my dreams I've kissed your lips A thousand times I sometimes see you Pass outside my door Hello! Is it me you're looking for? I can see it in your eyes I can see it in your smile You're all I've ever wanted And my arms are open wide 'Cause you know just what to say And you know just what to do And I want to tell you so much I love you I long to see the sunlight in your hair And tell you time and time again How much I care Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow Hello! I've just got to let you know 'Cause I wonder where you are And I wonder what you do Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart For I haven't got a clue But let me start by saying I love you Hello! Is it me you're looking for? 'Cause I wonder where you are And I wonder what you do Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart For I haven't got a clue But let me start by saying I love you

I feel nice right now... There are good people in this world. There are people who will understand me, maybe not in this community. But somewhere there will be people who will truly understand me and not judge me. I have a great heart. And people who are genuine in their heart will see my heart too Rest don't bother.

I'm in tears after reading your post. Nobody likes me on this forum. Everyone thinks I'm a drama queen, attention seeker, low IQ or annoying or disgusting. Nobody really cares to see if I have any intrinsic value. Thank you for understanding me. Thank for telling me that how others treat me in this community has nothing to do with my true value. My true value is way above the treatment I get here. I'm feeling much better after reading your post. I wish everyone had the level of empathy you show. I wouldn't need to throw a fit like a wounded child and then be blamed for it. You made my day. I needed to hear those words but my gut wasn't guiding me. But my subconscious found a way to speak to me through you. God bless you for showing me kindness. Have a good day and thank you a million times. Finally someone understands how to speak to me. Thanks. ♡✸???✸♡.

Today I read a post that moved me from within. No other post on the forum had this impact on me. I'm a wounded child and I have been mistreated all my life. The reason I start drama, get angry, act arrogant, throw a fit, get emotional, act out of control is because I'm deeply wounded from inside. I want love and compassion and respect, not judgement and mind games. People don't know how to deal with me, how to treat me and then they blame me, gaslight me, make me feel like everything is my fault, act mean, nasty, cold with me. I'm just a wounded child who needed to be shown love. And it's okay if you can't.. But at least don't add to my wounds. This post is what I expected out of people on this forum. This is how I wanted people to treat me and each other. That is the million-dollar question lol I was contemplating it a lot through my life. This is the catch, might be one of the main reasons people struggle to love themselves in the first place, because they don't feel loved by their environment, society (that isn't known for its loving nature), by other people who probably don't love themselves either (or maybe they love themselves narcissistically but it's not a real self-love, only a facade). We tend to believe that we are what we believe people think we are, how they treat us, the way they talk to us, talk about us etc Often, we fail to understand that the way people see us and treat us or how we think people see us or treat us has nothing to do with our true value. We as humans, as a tribal species, have social norms that we have to follow, otherwise we might pay a price if we don't. Sometimes we find ourselves not following some norms, breaking some rules, intentionally or not, and people have negative opinions about it. We often take the opinions of others very seriously, so seriously that many times they become our opinions about ourselves. It's good to have inner critic but many times it's just too much, it becomes hatred with no place for self-love, encouraged by society and other people with the same mentality of lack in self-love. It's very easy to forget that we used to love ourselves as children, we are all, with no exceptions. We were born loving ourselves purely and through our life, we learned to be ashamed of it, we learned to betray ourselves as soon as someone has a negative opinion about us. The solution is to learn to love ourselves, again, as it should be, despite all the background 'noises', which isn't easy and requires work and awarness but it's completely possible.

I'm in tears after reading your post. Nobody likes me on this forum. Everyone thinks I'm a drama queen, attention seeker, low IQ or annoying or disgusting. Nobody really cares to see if I have any intrinsic value. Thank you for understanding me. Thank for telling me that how others treat me in this community has nothing to do with my true value. My true value is way above the treatment I get here. I'm feeling much better after reading your post. I wish everyone had the level of empathy you show. I wouldn't need to throw a fit like a wounded child and then be blamed for it. You made my day. I needed to hear those words but my gut wasn't guiding me. But my subconscious found a way to speak to me through you. God bless you for showing me kindness. Have a good day and thank you a million times. Finally someone understands how to speak to me. Thanks.

So what was your insight during that 1 hour? What can you tell me that will blow my mind away?

Omg. I'm rolling on the floor. This was the best comment on the thread.

@Gesundheit2 Exactly. Insanity can be an episode that mentally ill people go through. A person who is not mentally ill cannot be experiencing insanity. And I'm severely mentally ill. I went through temporary insanity but it lasted for 3 weeks. I was sleepwalking all the time I needed drugs to snap out of it Also insanity is visible through insane weird actions. And during those weeks everyone told me I was acting weird. I became temporarily insane but it lasted a long time.

I am the

Nobody bans me. I have the most gorgeous butt. I am the

For you it's easy to say all of this as a white person. It doesn't impact you that much. This is easy said than done. When you are a part of a community and you follow a person as your guru and you are a non white person and the guru is engaging in racist behavior, it can be very hurtful.. It is also hurtful when other people treat you unfair. It's easy for you to preach me to just ignore. But if you were receiving it, then it would have hurt you as well. Anyway I decided today to leave the forum, stick to my journal and just one thread in the Off topic section (because I like that thread) and leave this stupid insensitive community forever.. So if you find me annoying, you won't have to worry about me anymore. Enjoy!!! ............................................................... Ok fine. Anyway it was my last post. I got something off my chest that had been bothering me for a while and I wanted to stab Leo one last time right through his chest. It will be nice if he takes it. Anyways he is not going to change and I don't need to worry about him any more. I was just frustrated that I couldn't say it directly to his face. But I fulfilled that desire. Haha my comment is the first comment on his insanity post. Then his lame ass comeback at me - "stop creating drama on the forum or I'll ban you." haha. He can't even ban me because even that needs balls that he doesn't have. Anyway I let out all my anger at Leo today. Gave him straight up. Haha. Now I can be in peace and focus on my work. Thanks.

It was bothering me for so long. I got it off my chest Haha my last comment on the forum At least I said the fucking truth with as much bravery as I could. What is he going to do? Ban me????? That's the only way he can have control over me.

Also try not to be racist. Achieve that somehow after all your achievements. That's one thing you can never achieve. ( one last jab at you. Take it)

Time to leave the forum. Get, ready, go....... No more interacting or replying Just be in that Greene thread. That's it. No need to feel upset

This was 7 hours ago wow..

To be honest, it's difficult to believe.

I cannot believe in universal morality because it takes away individual freedom. Lots of questions here - How does universal morality support my individual freedom? Which society has operated on universal morality when almost every society has used moral relativism to survive? Why is everyone opposed to moral relativism? Isn't Christianity already a great moral foundation for humanity? Aren't Christians moral people? What appears moral to you might not appear moral to me, how do you dispute this?

Is God real? Does God exists? Who is God?

I always needed someone to love me because I couldn't love myself. I never believed in self love because it appeared selfish to me. The real question is — how do you love yourself when you feel underappreciated in a community?

He then dropped me home and told me to not think much of it. At times I felt cared for. Because he did not kill me. He let me live. He even cared when I was dizzy and thirsty. The incident deeply traumatized me and I felt upset after that. I began to suffer panic and anxiety for days and I would keep to myself. I didn't want to be social or talk to anyone. Then on nights he would call me and talk to me the whole night. I was ill and mentally unstable. I was feeling numb and out of myself. I couldn't remember things and began suffering memory issues. It was as if I was just lost and had no track of time or awareness. There was zero awareness and I was living in a blur. I would wake up to eat something, then go back to sleep. My sleep schedule was out of whack.

I was in an inebriated state so I couldn't move my body. I was exhausted, tired and hurt from all the walking and running. He got up and left me alone for a while. Then I saw him coming back from the distance carrying rope in his hand and there was a shiny silvery object in his other hand. As he got closer I realized the shiny object was a big knife. He sat near my feet and began cutting the rope with the knife. He cut the rope into small pieces. He then threw the knife and it landed next to my body. He proceeded to tie my ankles with the rope. I was feeling hurt because it was so tight. Then he suddenly got on top of me. Then he looked into my eyes. I was in and out of consciousness. He began kissing me. I kept pushing him off. I pushed him hard with my hands and arms. I was struggling to get out of his grip.I grabbed the knife and kept shoving in into his face and he grabbed my hand really hard. He began smiling my hand was shaking and I couldn't get a grip on the knife, I dropped the knife and he immediately grabbed the knife and flung it far away. He then took his right hand and grabbed one one of my wrists. My wrists are tiny. So he reached for the other wrist and grabbed both of my wrists with his one hand. With his other hand he kept unzipping his pants. I could feel his penis on my body. He then inserted something into me. I felt something going inside. I raised my head to see what it was. It was a green bottle. I began moaning. After a while, I was feeling very thirsty. I told him that I needed some water. He got up and left. I was feeling weak. He came back with a water bottle. He gave me some water to drink. Then he got back on top of me. He began to choke me by placing his hands on my neck and tightening his grip. I began to feel dizzy.He then lifted me up, like made me sit back up. He placed me on his lap and kept rocking me back to consciousness. Then he asked me if I trust him. I said yes out of fear. He then hugged me tightly, extremely tight and began to feel my chest by pressing his chest against it. My heart was pounding. He then said that I was lying, that if I really trusted him, I wouldn't be shaking in fear and my heart wouldn't have been beating so fast. Then he whispered and told me that I should not lie to him.I asked him if he was going to kill me. He said no. I felt a bit relaxed when he said no. Then he untied my legs. Picked me up and carried me to his car. He placed me in the back of the car. I was exhausted and moaning and was half sleepy. He drove the car for a few minutes, maybe half an hour. I had no idea where he was going. He kept glancing back at me periodically during the time he was driving. Then he drove to a spot deep into a backroad of gravel and dirt and stopped. It was surrounding the edge of the forest park. He then got out of the car and got into the back and sat next to me. He caressed my face and told me everything would be alright. I asked him if he had raped me. He said that the only thing he did was kiss me. Then he got closer and pulled my face and began kissing my lips and gave me long kisses multiple times. I was completely frozen with fear because I thought he was about to rape me. I didn't protest, I thought protesting him might make him violent and aggressive so I kept quiet He then dropped me home and told me to not think much of it.

My Rape story Trigger warning.. If you're a victim of abuse, don't read this, it's not for you, it's for my venting. So.... I was at a party last week March. And my friends got some cocktail mocktail stuff. I was very thirsty because it's summer time the most cruel time for me. So drank what they gave me. There was a guy I had been familiar with whose name is Robson. (name changed for privacy). He was laughing with me, making some jokes. As the night went on, I was losing my sense of self. And I began to laugh and giggle wildly. Hazy memory. I'm still suffering. Then he kinda pulled my arm and gestured me to walk to his car. He told me that he will show me something. I kinda laughed and agreed to walk with him. He kept walking and dragging me by the arm and this continued for a long time. At some point I felt I was far away from the crowd that he had isolated me from. I could not see those people anymore. This guy Robson lived in the Beehive National Park. That's where all of this went down. He then dragged me by my arm and took me to his car. Once inside the car, he offered me a drink and I drank. I was too thirsty and tired from all the walking. I was sitting in the back of the car. He came to the back and began to touch me. He pushed me down on the seat and began to remove my clothes. I resisted and kept struggling my way out. I tried getting a grip on the door knob but my hands couldn't reach there so I kinda slid my body a bit upwards and now I could get a full grip of the handle, I turned it and the car door flung open because of the weight of my body. I got out with great difficulty but now my head was spinning. I began to walk and kinda run but slowly. I was tripping. So I tried running faster but my vision was blurry. When I ran I stumbled upon a tiny rock and kinda fell because of some obstacle.. He came behind me. I was on the ground, laying on my stomach. Hurt and tired. I could see his feet when I looked down at my feet. He had shoes. He was wearing a hoodie/like a blue Grey checkered flannel and a black shirt inside. I kept kicking his feet with my shoe in an attempt to frighten him. But my kicking was like bunny kicks, it had no impact on him and he seemed to be smiling back at me. I was nervous and my heart was pounding.Then he lifted me slowly by my arm and then took my whole body into his arms (like carrying someone). And took me back into the forest.I could see thick bushes, big trees and all leaves on the floor, it was dark in the night. I could barely see anything. Then he lay me on the floor of the forest. I could see flashes of light that illumined his face in the night. He then asked me if I needed something. My heart was still pounding. I gave him a blank stare.

This person is my friend. Or at least that's how they pretended to be. Now.. This person has many demons they will need to work on. One of the demons is inauthenticity and living a double life.They will always lead a double life 100%.They present only one side of the narrative - their side. Meanwhile completely sabotaging my side. This person managed to completely flip the script in their favor and made me the fall guy. They are the worst form of emotional vulture I have ever come across. M was a great man who came in my life and would have never wanted to hurt me. He was very caring and sweet to me. He was the best person in my life and the best boyfriend I had. Unfortunately we parted ways because I wasn't fully ready for a relationship at the time and I was dealing with stuff. Now this current friend is a horrible human being. They have shown me what evil and a demon look like. They are the personification of a demon, witch like features, deep eyes, long face. This person emotionally ravaged me to the point of self destruction. I have never experienced something so fatalistic and lethal in my life. I was deeply vulnerable with them without realizing that they were completely fake and shallow. I exposed all my secrets to them. I exposed my soul to them They are extremely extremely sweet in a way that cannot be considered as fake sweetness. They are able to act like a total angel while being a demon from within. They can take the veneer of a caring angel who pays attention to all the minor details of your life and comes back to either act protective or sympathizing. Their way of sympathizing are that of a leader. Like Barack Obama coming and telling you everything will be alright. When in reality nothing is gonna be alright even in the slightest They will show immediate care /concern, offer themselves up for helping, play the Samaritan/global peace campaigner /savior /humanitarian /ambassador of hope/soldier role. They pride themselves in this samaritan role. They act like your greatest ally, meanwhile being your greatest enemy in your shadows. The most shallowest human being I have ever come across. They are dull in the head but try to act smart. They are extremely careful about social image and reputation and curate it carefully, they do every thing to serve their convenience and agenda, they are deeply sociopathic, take pleasure in other's pain, even a standard abuser is better than them, because a standard abuser will at least have some basic concern for your safety. They will feed and clothe while abusing you at the same time. But they at least feed and clothe. But not this one. They will cause emotional dehydration. They will take every ounce of you while maintaining supernatural levels of intimacy and closeness. They will be so close that you might be tricked into believing they are you.

He wanted to rub my butthole. I like that.