Tyler Robinson

YouTube transcripts are very useful. Don't know why they were removed.

Ok

I wish there was an Auto-save option, which automatically saves every sentence as you type.

Continuing with all those incidents.

Hope I can call you Ges. I don't think you're INFP. Frankly I don't like to diagnose people using mbti lol, it takes away a person's uniqueness and typifies them. Even if people can be typed. Personality tests only reveal certain aspects and not everything. Good to know that you are working on the audio.

@Tahuti why do you demonize women?

Well if that's what you think. I'm not interested in giving advice on transactional relationships. There's already enough lying around. Im keen on developing a deep bond.

If you only want to attract a woman, then maybe. But if you want to develop a deep bond with a woman then maybe not.

You have to live your best life no matter what.. In the least machiavellian ways that you can. First you need to cut out all the human bullshit. Grow a brain. Increase IQ and awareness. Understand human nature. Then try to seek the best life for yourself and others.

And don't try anything at home. Guys tend to mess up with that kind of stuff.

@integral you can use these if you can find them in your local store. These are good for your skin. Read the names carefully and don't mix up. St. Ives Green Tea Cleanser. And St Ives Gentle smoothing Rose Water & Aloe Vera Scrub. Remember the names correctly.

A machine that can reverse the physical effects of any disease. For example if you have lost hair because of your mental illness, it can regenerate hair, tissue, muscle, lost organ function.

Everyone asked me why I didn't run. Why I didn't escape. Why didn't I call the cops or my mom? Well i was young, just starting out barely. I was under his control. He knew my family. Deep down I had fears he would kill them. No he did not have sexual intercourse with me. But he molested me. He raped me with objects too. He wanted me to stay a virgin. He felt happy that way. He did practice oral sex with me. He made me do sexual things for him. He wanted anal sex with me but I refused vehemently. He would sneak into the bed with me and then sleep with me. Grope me. He did all kinds of sexual things with me. He was scared I would get pregnant. So he didn't want to penetrate me. He wouldn't use any protection and would ejaculate on my body, not inside me.

And yes the incident where I tried clothes in front of the mirror. I was young. Just barely 16, when I went to live with him. My mom sent me. She thought he was a protective figure who would love and support me. My dad had already died.

And that incident where I liked a boy's photograph.

And that incident where I was cold and dying.

I don't know where to begin So many events happened between me and Philly. I don't know how to explain all of that He was my abuser. He said so much to me. So much has happened in a very short span of time. I developed Stockholm Syndrome at some point. I felt guilty for not obeying him or sometimes rejecting and dismissing him. There was the food incident, the mouse incident, the bracelet incident. The pot incident. The crying incident. All of it... Janessa. Janessa. Janessa.

@Carl-Richard I felt very ashamed of myself after having that dream because I felt a deep sense of regret while in the dream that I was withholding information that could have been useful. I spent 2 days ruminating over it and feeling a deep sense of shame and guilt building up. When I woke up I decided to be upfront about it which I rarely do. My own insecurities to blame. The dream probably foreshadowed my own despicable behaviors that lead to guilt. I had a premonition as a teen about a family member who died a week after the premonition. I acted sneaky and stayed mum and told no one. It still haunts me. Maybe the dream in some way represents shadow aspects of my character and conscience. It took me a ton of effort to write down the interpretation. I had the worst kind of ego backlash and my mind was finding all kinds of distractions.. I indulged in food, watched a lot of movies, slept and overslept but my mind kept saying no no no. Finally I told myself I gotta to do this somehow and get past it. Once I wrote the interpretation I felt such a huge sense of relief, like a cloud over my head had flew away. I felt deep peace. I felt good after opening up about the dream like I did my moral obligation and I had nothing to feel guilty about. It was over.. The dream was purely psychological and it enmeshed a lot of my deeper issues regarding my morality and character, my lack of responsibility and my evasive behavior, it was like some sort of a therapy session. It really addressed a lot of elements of my past and hidden fears, ego backlashes and shadows. It was something.

Maybe my dream was a warning to you. I don't know. It was supposed to alert you. But anyway you take care and be careful.

ok...granted.

I had a dream about you and I even wrote the whole interpretation and you never responded to it. I kinda felt humiliated. And it was a genuine dream. Who treats someone so disrespectfully.

And someone like Andrew Tot?

Haney left town and I felt relieved. One day I took Philly's gun and began playing with it. I was trying to learn to use a gun. It was jamming and I couldn't get it to work. Philly saw me doing it. And he began wondering why I was playing with it. Why did you take the gun? I was just trying. What would you need a gun for? I like it. I wanna know how to operate and shoot with a gun. Oh...you're planning to shoot me with it. Don't say crazy things. I never had such a thought. That's not a child's toy, you know. C'mon give that here. Give that to me. No. I want. Give that here. C'mon. And he snatched the gun from me and kept it back in the place where it was hidden.. Ahh.. I guess I need to give this gun back. I don't need it anyway. But why. Shut up!