Tyler Robinson

Barkley is subjecting Janessa to some narcissistic abuse.

The dialogues aren't perfectly structured in my head Dialogues between Janessa and Barkley. Just random dialogues right now Barkley — I said to you that I love you and you believed me.. You have to be a fool and that's no fault of mine that you decided to trust me. Janessa — I came here to return this gift. Barkley — girls like you are dime a dozen.. What made you think you're worthy of me? Janessa — you told me that you love me Barkley — you cheap pathetic, foolish weak, timid insecure woman. You deserved it. Janessa — I'm not weak. I simply believed your words.. Barkley — and you thought that I love you? Throws the gift at the wall and it breaks into pieces. — go and never come back. I can never like a woman like you.

What I meant is that they pretend to be saintly and pure, farcical.

That does make a tiny bit of sense. Yea I can see how that can be concluded especially for the overly saintly type of men who think women are sinners if they act sexual.

Maybe it's a genuine thing that happens after orgasms. Why and how is it correlated to hate towards women?i see a lot of people on this thread who openly claim ideas and opinions but never bother to substantiate or elaborate what they mean and why they say it.

I began to like George Barkley. I never liked Philly anyway.

Your responses to my arguments are very flippant. Why would a woman choose you over the numerous men chasing her?

Can you elaborate on this?

I can't help it. But it's more about my emotions rather than me. This is true. I mostly operate on emotion and instinct. This is true. I can call it being frank about how I feel. I never did anything intentionally or out of malice. I never saw myself as low integrity. I have very high integrity. I always stay true to whatever I believe in. I don't change in the moment. At the same time I value emotions a lot more over intellect. So I rely a lot on it.

Hypocrisy and low integrity in what sense?

Death scene Continued.. Sir.. Shots fired. His men shot me. I collapsed into his arms as he struggled to hold me. I was dying in his arms. My one hand held his arm tightly as I was struggling to breathe. I kept stroking his arm. I began to speak as I watched him looking horrified — No Sir. Sir .. Please. Don't leave me . No.. Don't leave me now please. I want to see you one last time. I don't want to lose you. Sir I love you. I gave my heart to you. Even if God had told me to leave you, I would have never left you. I belong to you. Don't leave me now. If you wanted me to die for you, I would have died gladly, I would have no regrets. I love you and there wouldn't have been a better way to die. Sir I love you. I surrender myself to you. And with those words, I breathed my last. Death scene over.

I want George Barkley badly. He wanted to kill me because I had bruised his ego and he wanted revenge. So he manipulated me into loving him with his smooth talk. I gave in and accepted his love. I told him I needed some time, at least 1 day. He told me to sleep in the main room. He would wait until morning for my reply. I woke up the next morning and I patiently waited at the wall in the room. He came and just stood there. And then he asked me — do you accept me Janessa? I gently said yes. (looking down) I used to call him sir. We all used to call him Sir. He was regarded in that manner. Then he came close and held me. I softly spoke like I was in a daze — I love you Sir. I love you. I cannot live without you anymore. You are everything to me. You are my God. You are my everything. I want to be with you. I want to be yours. Forever. Then he told me that I need to visit him at a warehouse a few blocks from his palace. He would wait for me there. I agreed. When I reached the place, I could feel an eerie silence. Death scene I entered the room. I looked around. Just nothing. Then from the corner on the side emerged George. George walked towards me. And then he softly whispered that he wanted to tell me something. And he told me that this was my last day on earth. This is what he had been waiting for. He was feeling triumphant. I felt an intense feeling of shock and disbelief. I couldn't imagine the man I had loved so much wanted to kill me. What did I do wrong? I paced around the place. And I kept mumbling to myself. Then I softly said — I have a last wish. If I die I want to die in your arms, watching you before my eyes, looking into your eyes and holding you. This is what I want. I would at least have the grace of dying in the arms of my lover. It would be my saving grace. I don't regret dying and I don't complain about the betrayal but I just want to hold you during my dying moments. I want to feel you Sir. Please. He was looking at me, stunned in silence.

I had a situation very recently. I liked a guy and he was cute. I felt very horny for him. I orgasmed really strongly for 2 days thinking of him and I exhausted myself. A few hours after orgasming I kinda felt bored. I didn't even want to see his face. I didn't want to talk to him. I felt a sense of fear, and I wanted my feelings back but I just wasn't feeling anything at all. Kinda just tired and not wanting him to even look at me. I was being avoidant. It's not like I dislike him. But I felt some kind of emptiness. I was worried that I might completely lose attraction for him. I'm still waiting for my feelings of attraction to come back. I can't induce this horniness since it happens kinda on its own whenever the time is right. I don't feel much at all. Could it be that this is just temporary and my lovey dovey feelings might return back and I might want him again? I was straight up avoiding him after the orgasms. Maybe this post cum clarity is just temporary due to exhaustion? I did not feel disgust towards the guy. Maybe mild disgust or boredom because I was too tired and I didn't want to orgasm again. So my body automatically mentally pushed him away. It felt like boredom, the feeling you get when you're sick of eating too much chocolate, something like that. But I don't hate him. Just pure indifference. No chemical response. No ticking, no flirting, not feeling butterflies, just emptiness. Like I wanted to watch TV instead of spending time with him. I was angry and being an asshole. I apologize for it.

@Something Funny no I'm just looking for how to make it happen again. On one hand yes, what will I do if a guy loses interest in me after sex. On the other hand, what if I suffer the female version of it, in the sense that I might lose interest in a guy once I lose that horniness for him. What if he was a great catch and I didn't want to lose him?

To feel attraction again and not lose it..

Haha I was actually asking how to cure the lack of horniness and not how to cure what you are not attracted to.

How do you know that you genuinely like or want a girl?

Industry culture People who don't cooperate on a team should be eliminated. That's why stage Blue culture works. That's why an Amish community works. They have a team goal. They want everyone to work towards this shared goal. A shared common mission. And those who don't are thrown out. I mean those who are not contributing to the holy mission. Pure Tribalism. But I see perfect sense in this stage Blue ethic. Because.... Why should we allow people to be a part of it who don't belong there. People should have some fear. Fear of God. Why should anyone not earn the right to live, especially in a community that serves to care about each other. What are you living for? This question needs to be asked to every member of the community.

I think I'll call them the Larka Gods. 3 Larka Gods = Yoyk, Rekka and Heridot.

I thought about Yoyk and Rekka I feel like I always needed a feminine God. A mother goddess This is all intuitive. Rekka is a tough mother goddess who can kill the beast. Yoyk is her male counterpart. Yoyk pronounced as yolk. And Heridot as a symbolic God of love and compassion.

I think life is made of dualistic forces. The positive and the negative forces like night and day Positive — love, care, abundance, kindness, mercy Negative — ruthlessness, direction, authority, control, order, discipline, punishment and heartlessness I think that any form of spirituality that takes you away from living life is a form of spiritual bypassing and can cause serious harm. I think true spirituality will value the sanctity of life and embrace and integrate survival into it.

True spirituality lies in creating a loving community. It's not about being an individual. It's about having something, creating something. I think spiritually gifted people will help other people. They will also respect the sanctity of life.

I don't believe in non duality. I believe in duality. I don't believe in enlightenment either. I feel like these Eastern concepts were invented simply to escape life.

2 sides of the same coin Love and heartlessness. Control.. Love. Social Education Tribalism Industry culture. Harvest Reptilian brain. Cognitive brain Communal love Preservation of innocence Stage Blue morality Heartlessness = cruelty, psychopathy, anger, justice, fairness, punishment, discipline, stage Blue elements, ruthlessness, machiavellianism, self preservation, reptilian behavior, instincts, mercilessness.

Yoyk and Rekka