blissofbeing

I feel very called to live in a community setting where the members are dedicated to personal development and spiritual growth. I'm wondering how many others here have similar aspiration, and if so what values would you like to see in your community? Here is my list (from my first community living experiment): Personal Development Meditation Simplicity and Minimalism Sustainability Cleanliness Compassionate Honest Communication Health and Nutrition

Interesting, to trip in a city, I wonder what it would have been like in nature.

What is pleasure and pain? And why, and how does it motivate us?

Good idea. Sent a message. Took like 2 min, I suggest others do it to!

Karezza Karezza is a form of sex where orgasm is not the goal. I first heard about this from some friends on Youtube and then began to study it. The best book on it is Cupids Poised Arrow which you can find a good breakdown from the author here: Basically the idea is that orgasms release heaps of dopamine and this causes an addiction, with an up and down. The comedown of orgasm eventually pushing you to subconsciously seek out a new novel mate to get back to the big dopamine hits. There is a lot of science in the book to back this up, I do suggest reading it. The authors then argue for a type of sex, Karezza, which isn't orgasm focused. The focus of Karaezza is on slow gentle love making that includes a lot of touching, kissing and maybe gentle intercourse, nothing fast. Orgasm remember is not the goal of Karezza. This type of sex builds oxytocin which bonds us closely with our mates and doesn't give a crash like dopamine. Thats my little five minute summary. If you want to learn more read the book or watch some interviews on youtube or checkout their website www.reuniting.info My experience: At first it was difficult to recondition my body and expectations away from orgasm especially when I was turned on, and especially with new partners. But over time I have come to see this as a critical part of my relationships. Practicing this type of sex has given me greater long term fulfillment and joy in my relationships. I feel much more connected to my partners than I have ever before. I also just feel better in general; I feel more content and happy in relationships. This type of love making makes so much sense to me. The love making kind of foreshadows the whole relationship to me. Karezza is calm, connected, deeply communicative, slow, and healing, it can be like a calm meditation. When I make love like this my relationship tends to be like this. I don't think orgasms are bad, I feel like there is a spectrum of love making with Karezza on one side and reproduction style style sex on another. I notice myself and my relationships are better long term when my sex is more on the Karezza end of the spectrum. Karezza to me is taking awareness into sex and this is a good thing, as before for me it used to be something unconscious. I would love to hear others thoughts or experiences with Karezza or this type of slow orgasm free sex.

For some more "advanced" tips on LOA, I listen to this one on repeat:

Yes, but doesn't it help start the recovery process? How can we get at the root of this? How can we recover?

Intellectualy I understand that others can't make me feel anything. I understand that it is my reaction and story placed on the facts that make me feel a way. Firstly is this true? If so what are some things I can do to experientially understand this truth, that is, to not be effected by others actions?