Cepzeu

Hi everyone, This post is just to share my experience of having weed for the first time. It's intended for those that have not tried it/are thinking of trying it and it's also intended as a report of insights I had. Those that have done it/ do it regularly will have experienced most,if not all, of the following so this may be of no interest to you. Intro - I was very anti-weed for a long time for two reasons. I was strongly conditioned not to smoke cigarettes by my parents and I also had a negative image of 'stoners' in my mind. Since Leo released his psychedelics videos around a year ago, I changed my view on them and drugs in general. I wanted to try LSD but one of my friends suggested I try weed before LSD because weed may never be the same after LSD (he was so scared of getting addicted to weed that he did LSD before ever smoking weed). There was a lot of resistance to me doing it. I was very skeptical of the whole thing because of the aforementioned conditioning plus the fact that I didn't want to get addicted to it and do it regularly. There are a lot of people in my city who smoke weed daily and their life is in ruins. I decided that I should turn my skepticism on itself, and in the spirit of self-experimentation and trying to understand the people that I used to judge I decided to try weed. Set and Setting - Because I wasn't interested in doing it socially or chronically, I wanted to make sure I was set up so that I would be comfortable and could experience the drug itself without interference from lots of other people. I did it with my friend who I mentioned before and it was just us two in his apartment and we just had some music going. I'd had some food before and had just finished exams so had no more plans for the afternoon. Smoking it - I smoked a small joint just to start off with. Because I'm a pretty big guy, and the fact that I couldn't hold it in for long (virgin lungs - never smoked), and because I didn't want to inhale the smoke too deeply, it took about 20 min to take effect as opposed to the usual minute (as my friend described). I sat back and waited to notice changes. Changes in perception - it came on very gradually, I was very tired so I was already pretty relaxed but the first things I started to notice were slight tingling sensations around the skin of my legs and arms which felt pleasant. It felt like a microscopic layer of popping candy going off between my limbs and the surfaces they were touching. Something that surprised me was that my monkey mind was very quiet and I was conscious of the experience. My body started doing the things you see from the outside - speech dragged out, smiling, laughing/giggling. I always thought that people's consciousness was decreased from what I saw from the outside (sort of like with alcohol), but this was like all the good things of alcohol but with none of the draw backs and also improved consciousness. This was also like a mild version of my awakening experience on the toilet (search toilet meditation in forum). I went outside for a walk with my friend and was describing my experience. I noticed that I was more aware of little things that I would ordinarily not pay attention to. Not in the sense that I focused on one thing more but that all of my vision was able to focus on more things at once in one viewing frame. Lastly, as I was describing the experience to my friend I was aware of myself as consciousness being conscious of the situation. This was similar to my awakening experience, just more mild. I noticed how my body was just doing its thing. A major insight I had was that I was speaking very articulately and with really unimpeded flow, but I was not thinking of how to explain myself. Usually I think of what I'm going to say as I'm talking with someone, but this time words were just coming out of 'my' body's mouth and I was just aware of it. Monkey mind was off. This kind of reminded me of Leo's description of infinite intelligence. 'It' was 'happening' through my body, the words were happening without thought, which I found interesting. Other than that, it wore off in about two hours. Final words - I had a really good experience, which I attribute to set and setting and also starting small. I know of some people who had really bad first experiences. I can see why people enjoy it. For me it was like the best of alcohol with none of the drawbacks. I think that it does have the potential to cause dependence, it is a very real thing, but I think you have to use it very unconsciously or be in a bad/stressful time in life to turn to it - but dependence on alcohol can also happen this way. In the future I may experiment with a bong or edibles. I'm not interested in damaging my lungs so aside from just trying it once, I probably won't smoke it without a bong again. I also might try LSD next week but I'm just sorting out a drug testing reagent. Will likely post a report on it as well. For those that are thinking of trying it for the first time, all I can say is try to be in a good place in life, maybe don't do it for the first time when depressed/stressed, don't mix with anything and also have a good set and setting. Also think about starting small.

I have been in a similar predicament and I know how you're feeling. You are right in that pursuing enlightenment won't greatly change your situation. Your situation is a source of worry and anxiety for the monkey mind, which fuels it and makes it louder. You need some stability and control in life first. This will give you some assurance and peace of mind which will allow for a pursuit of your spiritual needs. I suggest you follow Maslow's hierarchy. Focus on getting a job first, having somewhere to live that is not your parents place, and having some stable position. Have patience, I know enlightenment is a great goal in comparison to this other stuff but you need to be in a position where you are not figuring out how to survive day to day first. You mentioned stage green stuff. Look for a job/education in general business + interpersonal communication + green specific skills (maybe events management, coaching, working at a health and fitness place, yoga studio etc.). You won't have enough experience required to make the links and be creative in business without exposure to an industry. Given your post, look for a stage green industry. In the future general business skills and your experience and your peace of mind will allow you to start a business if you wish. You want the cool lifestyle and travel but so does everyone else. Join the queue. You have to sacrifice so that you can get what you want later, pleasures are not just handed to you unless you are enlightened haha. Even being on the path will ease some of the worry from not going anywhere. You will NOT figure everything out just by being stuck in your head all day. I say the above not to be mean but to put things in perspective.

I had a cool insight the other day. I thought back to a time when I was cramming for some college finals and I stayed up the whole night studying, then went to the exam in the morning. I saw the sun set and then rise again all in one span of waking consciousness. It clicked for me, when I was thinking back to this, that there is no such thing as time. There is really only the now and it is constantly shifting. There is no such thing as yesterday or tomorrow. Sure they are words that describe day/night cycles but we get lost in yesterday/tomorrow as though they are real places outside of the now. There is nowhere to go. Everything is happening now. You are the true self now (even if you have not had an awakening or enlightenment). Day and night are just words but we get lost in conceptualising their meaning. All they refer to is shifts in the phenomena occurring NOW. This may sound like 'yeah, well duhh, of course' but people rarely are conscious of the occurrence of NOW, they live in a conceptual matrix in mind, thinking about tomorrow, last year, etc. All those moments are just this moment but they looked different and felt different. It was the current moment shifting and moving and metamorphosing in infinite forms. People live in their heads/minds in the now, the current reality. Or should I say, reality. There is no other reality than the one happening now. For me I saw the sun set and then the sun rise up again in the NOW. This now has been for as long as I can remember, the body and the images and the people in it change but it all happens as it does. 'My body' has not grown over 'time' as we think, 'my body' is just a collection of energies and phenomena in ONE PLACE at ONE TIME (inside consciousness) shifting and metamorphosing (that which we call growth or ageing, but when we say growth or ageing we think of this timeline of a whole person's life and what not which is all just thoughts IN THE NOW). YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN IN ANY OTHER TIME THAN NOW. There is no where to go in 'the future'. The now will just happen. When will it happen? NOW (Note I have not read The Power of Now, so not sure if Ekhart talked about this or whether there was a different view point int that book). Anyway, please share your thoughts if you wish.

Try looking for a speech therapist in your area. I had a lisp when younger and a speech therapist helped. There are exercises that can be done but best to do this with a professional as they can guide you. I'm not sure if there are any online sources or courses but it could be worth a look.

No, this is not a new meditation technique lol. I want to describe something that happened to me. Maybe some of you have had similar experiences. I'll cut to the chase. I was studying at the library and went to take a bathroom break and scroll on my phone for a bit. I was the only one in the bathroom, it was very quiet, and I was scrolling on my phone in a very automatic manner, not really paying any attention. All of a sudden, I became aware that it was as though I was this empty void that was conscious and observing reality through the body's eyes. (It really is hard to describe). 'My' body was just carrying out these automatic actions and it 'felt' like 'I' was observing the creation of being in real time. This was not a thought at all, I could clearly 'see' 'my' body doing this automatic thing, and then thoughts arising and falling, and arising, and falling. I did not associate with 'my' body at all anymore and the reality of no free will really became clear. I recognised how thoughts and chaotic sounds/sights are distractions from the underlying consciousness. I think that because I was in that bathroom and it was a very quiet place with no distractions 'I' just 'saw' 'it' right there. It/I am always in the background. It was this shift in awareness that has never happened before. (Side note for clarification: there were no psychedelics involved. This was just a regular day and I did not intend on doing any spiritual work) 'I' did not freak out, in fact, the body and mind that I generally think of as 'mine' just went about doing it's automatic thing. It's a stretch to even mention freaking out because 'I' 'knew' that there was no-one to freak out, so to say. It happened last week and I've been integrating it over this time. Just wanted to post this on here if anyone had any guidance.

have you been sick recently? flu or something like that? fatigue from that can last months. just have to wait it out

Here are my mystical experiences in order: 1. After many months of meditating (before I knew what enlightenment was) I had an experience of deep concentration in one point somewhere 'in my head', I guess. This is a direct note from my phone and this was before Leo made the enlightenment videos, so I had no understanding of it whatsoever and had never heard it: "Meditation: felt out of body experience, felt like I was accessing a new part of my brain. Felt like my body dissolved and was nothing." Still operating from the materialist paradigm here, thinking that I travelled to a new part of my brain and was still an entity. 2. After watching Leo's videos on enlightenment it suddenly dawned on me that it might be possible for me to not be a body or a brain. This was an intellectual understanding, though, but still important. It's funny how I take this insight for granted now. This is the point when I turned from thinking that Leo lost his mind and became crazy to realising that he could be on to something . 3. I was sitting and doing a bit of meditation when I became directly aware on thoughts coming into and out of existence. This was probably the moment when I got rather unsettled. It felt like my point of view shifted and I was watching thoughts arise. I still thought that this was just me viewing the brain activity from a different part of the brain. This occurred during some closed-eyes meditation. After that there was a post by Faceless on how he/she became enlightened and I messaged them a few times to discuss it. There were no more huge breakthroughs for a while, I spent about a year learning about enlightenment, doing a bit of self inquiry, and just practising being aware of things coming into and out of consciousness. I can't say that I had a strong practice to be honest. This was a period of just learning theory with a bit of practice here and there, but not much. What happened next is described in my last post (above). I think that the next step is to go deeper into this as Leo said. As others have said, this is just my first sight of it and now the work begins to question the paradigm of existence I had built up over the years and to questions dualities that arise. My plan is to get exams out of the way and build up a solid Kriya practice before the end of the year, with a possibility of trying a psychedelic for the first time next year. I can see this work is important but I have to balance it with my LP. Something Leo said in another post made a lot of sense. Most people prioritise survival first without ever experiencing being. But I can see how putting being first and then playing the survival part with awareness of the illusion (or should I say letting the body do what it was gonna do anyway) makes more sense for enjoying life.

Very good question @Dan502, and I think there was something actually... I have done meditation for about 8 months in the past but not recently. I wanted to start doing Kriya yoga 2 months ago and am currently getting through the books, understanding the positions of the chakras and getting my flexibility up to do the pranayamas. Unfortunately I don't have much time currently as I've got exams coming up and I feel that I still need a bit more understanding of kundalini to make sure I'm doing it safely. So to sum that up, I haven't been doing much strict spiritual practice lately. Also, I've read many of the books on Leo's list, as well as watched many of the video's on consciousness and the materialist paradigm itself so I feel like I have a good grasp of the overarching theory. About 2 weeks ago I went to a party and got drunk, then I packed my backpack and walked 20 min to my gf's house. As I walked, I noticed how my body and mind were experiencing drunkenness but that there was also a 'background observation' that was happening, which wasn't drunk. It was as if I was watching a VR first person game where the player character was drunk, sort of. A week before the experience I decided that I was mentally masterbating with the theory and the posts on this forum so I just decided to take an hour and just look around my room without trying to assign any meaning to anything. Then the next day I looked at Leo's List of Enlightenment Exercises ( ) and I did exercise 1. (Side note: I did a bit of self inquiry before and didn't find 'myself' outside the body or the mind, so my biggest challenge was breaking the idea that I am somewhere in my head, behind the eyes). What I noticed was that when my finger touched my sternum, it was not actually touching 'me'. I pressed hard, and tapped on my chest but 'my' finger was just tapping on a body and not 'me'. Then I moved to gently pressing on my closed eye and again, felt that I wasn't touching myself but just pressing an eye. Finally, I gently started tapping all over my head with my fingers, with my eyes closed. Lots of times, all over my head - (to try and locate a spot where 'I' would 'feel' myself getting touched). What this resulted in is me realising that I am not inside the head, but that my consciousness is a field in which my head exists (note that I was conscious of tapping on a head and being 'outside' it, but not conscious of what was actually experiencing it (which is consciousness - which is what I experienced in the toilet) - kinda doesn't make sense, I know.) And then the toilet thing happened. I was not doing anything specific aside form being in a very quite place and doing a monotonous activity (scrolling on my phone).

This wasn't my first mystical experience but I think it was my first moment of becoming conscious of consciousness. I felt at ease, and I've studied it to where I had a conceptual understanding of it, but this time it was direct experience.

The mental self is an idea/ thought which arises within the field of consciousness (your true self). Killing the mental self (stilling the thoughts in mind) would result in simply being conscious of whatever remains. You create an experience of physicality from yourself (you are consciousness). Thought experience is also created from consciousness. Physical and mental experiences all arise from consciousness, they are made of the same stuff. You do not die physically because there was no physical you to begin with, it was just an idea. 'A suicide' would be the experience of the action of suicide taking place within consciousness. So yes, when you die mentally you realise there was no physical you to begin with so you simultaneously die 'physically'.

@Leo Gura Your channel has developed and grown over the past few years and I'm so glad to have stumbled upon your videos (started watching in early 2014). You have changed my life in so many positive ways! You've made a few videos in the past advising young people (college/highschool) but I wonder if your advice has changed given the experiences you've had over the past few years. Knowing what you know about the present day in terms of society, starting a business, ascending Maslow's hierarchy of needs and now researching and attaining permanent enlightenment etc., would your list of advice change? What would you say to a young person today about pathways to living a full life and self-transcendence (assuming they're completely on board with your current videos)? Past thing like the Blueprint and the Lifestyle Minimalism video (LP, learning, meditation, enlightenment, contemplation, being, mindful action) jump to mind. Would you say those are good starting points or would you modify them knowing what you know today? Having gone through the process and fallen in the traps in your ventures, what would you say to a younger generation?

Yeah I know what you mean! Leo highlighted in his recent videos how you make this persona about being a "self-actualizer" and being "spiritual" which is really just building up an ego. Devil acts by deceiving I guess. He did highlight earlier how you do need massive conceptual knowledge and study of this material just so you are on the right track so to say, but at some point i think you need to transcend that. I wonder what he would say now regarding conceptual study.

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum but have been following Actualized.org for about two years. Here I describe a possible analogy for the enlightened self with a short into in brackets below: (I believe I experienced non-egoic consciousness/ had an enlightenment experience recently. There was huge shift in perspective for me and suddenly all of Leo's videos on the true self/ enlightenment made a lot of sense. The experience made me want to delve deeper into this area and this post is simply a request for Leo or others who have experienced this to determine if this analogy I'm about to share fits in with our understanding of what the true self actually is . The analogy is simply for me and others to understand the true self better (given that this analogy I share fits in with our understanding). The analogy: The true self is the nothingness that existed before the big bang. Imagine a white orb on a black background. According to our current understanding of the universe, all that existed came from this extremely dense "thing" that exploded and gave rise to the universe. Given that the true self is nothing, and everything occurs within the true self, and the true self is infinite, could the nothingness that encapsulates everything in the universe (at this point condensed into the orb) be the true self or even an analogy to the true self? A secondary explanation may help: for those that have experienced a phenomenon in videogames where you glitch and fall through the map into a void, could this empty, infinite void be analogous to the true self?

Yes I feel the exact same way sometimes. Sometimes it feels like being higher consciousness isn't worth it because you realize how shallow everything is. I guess that interacting with like-minded individuals helps. Otherwise I don't know

Excessive blood LDL cholesterol accumulates in blood vessel walls leading to an accumulation of macrophages in the intima layer. If the macrophages cannot remove the cholesterol quickly enough their functioning stops and they turn into mast cells that remain in the intima, clogged with the cholesterol they tried to remove. This leads to atherosclerotic plaques and inflammation which can result in negative cardiovascular events. What does this even mean? Please don't spread misinformation

From my understanding on this topic (I learned a lot from Jordan Peterson on this and this is his area of expertise) intelligence or IQ determines an individual's ability to handle and process abstractions and abstract concepts. A person with a higher IQ can process and understand complex processes much faster than a lower IQ individual. IQ is the biggest predictor for lifetime success. Obviously when you can grasp complexity quickly in an in-demand field you will attract a higher salary. Second predictors for success are being high on the conscientiousness spectrum and low on the neuroticism spectrum. With that in mind, high IQ individuals may pursue more technical roles but its not the be all and end all. A brick layer who is competent in the work and achieves mastery will also be very well compensated. This does not itself require a high IQ but a high IQ individual may achieve mastery faster in that field. The catch is that high IQ individuals MAY feel that work such as brick-laying is not intellectually stimulating, so they may pursue fields like academia. IQ may help you but without hard work it will get you nowhere. Though some basic IQ tests I did just for interest my IQ appears to be somewhere in the 130-150 range which is high. I can tell you form experience that I can get the jist of a subject much quicker than some of my classmates. I can listen to a lecture once and remember the content very well. I tend to integrate new knowledge into my web of understanding of everything, as well as using my web of understanding to learn a new concept by looking at similarities between subjects. I don't know whether this is because of IQ or just because of the way I learn or both. This creates a false sense of security in a way because you trust in your intelligence, but when the going gets tough and you don't have the discipline to work hard formed into a habit, others will begin to overtake you. It's a double edged sword. A balance between doing and thinking needs to be achieved. IMO higher IQ individuals spend too much time thinking and not enough doing, and lower IQ individuals start doing before they've fully thought through a concept. Both can benefit from moving more towards a balanced approach.

Its a good idea to take a year to work on yourself and work in general after high school. But make this time productive and don't get lazy. College or a trade school is good if you can take an interest free government loan. The thing is that after you finish a degree and are ready for the workforce you will still be in your mid 20's (assuming you took a gap year and did a 4-year degree). This is where its good: You are both something (ie whatever you specialise in, and you are also in your mid 20's so you can still do things on the side if your main specialty is not your main passion ad pursue further study. In my experience any field is interesting when you immerse yourself in it. As some say: don't wait for inspiration or passion before doing something. Start doing it and the passion will come.

I've recently been hit hard with what I now understand is called post-project depression: The feeling of sadness or emptiness upon the completion of a big project or goal. Two years ago I planned on studying medicine, to which entry is highly competitive. I didn't get in on the first try (which was the catalyst for me to begin studying self-development and bettering myself, so I don't wholly regret this event). Now, after completing a degree and sacrificing my time and energy to study I was accepted into 3 different schools. But what I experience now is a slight depressive state. My mind is planning things out for the next 10 years, what I will study and where I will work, it's analysing whether the school I picked is right, and coming up with a bunch of different scenarios of what the future holds. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you cope? The reason I mention spirituality is that I noticed a strong feeling of emptiness a day after I got the acceptance offer. It felt like my identity of "the guy who didn't get in first time, pursued it further and grew himself" is in a way shattered at the point of getting in. I have heard this mentioned before, where the journey to the goal is what creates the drive and feeling of meaning, and once the goal is achieved a hole in the ego opens up. Often the case with those pursuing PhD's after they submit their thesis, built from many years of work. Does the accomplishment of the goal remind us subconsciously that all meaning is arbitrary and created to conceal the absolute? Am I thinking too deeply into this? What is your experience when you accomplished a big goal in your life?

Could someone explain why fluoride is not wanted in your water?

I suggest removing red and green colouring for mods and yourself, Leo. Instead you could pin a post to the main page with a list of the mods and admins if there are any other than yourself. They're good for identifying who is a mod in a discussion but I think they subconsciously create bias in a discussion. As others have said rank names and dots don't really add anything of value to a profile, it's just a funny identifier, making this more like social media. In terms or rank number, post thumbs and total post count I think it's important to somehow identify those who are contributing good discussion points as well as trolls. Maybe removing rank number and total post count from their picture on a post but keeping it on their profile (so people who actually want to know for whatever reason will have to click to their profile page) could make it less distracting in a discussion. If someone really agrees with someone else's view or recognises that they post good content they can always follow them, and follower count can remain on their profile page, out of discussions. In terms of thumbs up buttons they could be a tool that maybe helps newbies see that their argument isn't holding up with the community who view it, helping them question their beliefs as Nahm said. Incorporating a thumbs up and thumbs down button is a good way to quickly give your opinion without having to type it as a post and lengthen the discussion. A quick comment for why a thumb down button is pressed could be a good idea. But I see how ego could come into this is it's really a double edged sword.

Why do you assume he is escaping? I would argue that by meditating you are more attuned to primary experience of reality rather than escaping it. What place do we come back to? Always coming back to it is an assumption. The sun could blow up tomorrow and wipe everyone out. No body knows what goes on inside anybody else's mind. Sure the most so-called enlightened COULD come back to wherever it is they left from. Some may not. We don't know who the most enlightened are and how many of them there are. We don't even know if someone who claims they are enlightened is enlightened. Positive and negative are relative. You could become enlightened and realise the awesome business you were running was fully ego driven and done for the wrong reasons and you would be depressed. Laws of physics are just ideas. Laws of physics are not absolute. The speed of light changes all the time. Its just set as a constant by definition. Nothing is permanent, nothing can be proven outside of direct experience, nothing is knowable. For all you know everyone writing back to you doesn't exist as a person. This would be a silly idea relative to the norm but again that's relative. The FACT is that you absolutely don't know whether I am a person writing this or whether I'm a computer program writing this.

I see what you're saying but I would also argue that always returning to that state is an assumption. I can't comment further regarding this because I have't achieved this myself but from what I know enlightenment is a permanent shift is identity. You and I could be returning to a human-centric state and form of existence because we are not enlightened. I would argue that always returning to this state is a false assumption.

Could you flip that around and say that certain states you live in cause you to experience that you do have free will? EDIT: And could that experience also be an illusion?

I see what you're saying. The issue is not with determinism. It's with getting any proof for it. As you describe it will be impossible to predict what button you will press, thus no experiment like this likely exists. BUT take any prospective cohort study that determines eating habits and what you will likely find is that family eating habits influence child eating habits. Poor eating results in low energy, decreased mood, and poor body metrics. So an individual's past could determine how much energy they have. A scientist could give evidence to low energy leading to low productivity but they could never prove it. In a similar argument you could give evidence to what situation you will be in life given your past (hence contributing to the 50% determinism of your position) but no scientist can (for now at least) predict the exact action you will take at any given point in the future. The existence or lack thereof of free will is for you to decide then. It can only be proven to you through direct experience and self-inquiry. I see what you're saying that even if you were God/the True self you think that you have free will. For me I believe I (tre self, consciousness) have no free will, but in my day to day life, if I revert to a state of lower consciousness I (the egoic self) will definitely act and think as though I have free will. This is my personal experience. The fact that we disagree is perfectly fine but in your search for an answer to your question you have to see it for yourself. No one is able to prove it to you. From this forum and from science you can only get perspectives.

You have it backwards here you want what your cells want, you eat what your cells want, you focus on what you cells deem you focus on. There is no you even, there is only the cells. There is not cells even, there are only the chemicals. Your kidney may not want to play the guitar but if your kidney is damaged and needs dialysis you would definitely do something about it instead of playing the guitar. Your body and brain (not consciousness) are connected. Your brain decides what your body does (again, brain the pink squishy substance, not consciousness). Your brain is made of cells that are not you. So who is deciding what your body does as a whole? The illusion of free will seems really real at the level of everyday life. But if you contemplate it to a chemical or physical level it dissolves. In other words. You have free will, but you are not in control of your free will