Cepzeu

My dissonance comes from cognitively appreciating the value of a long term relationship and the black hole of hedonism with the animalistic desire towards hedonism in this area of life. I feel like if I pick the more cognitively developed path of nurturing the relationship and sacrificing for it, I would have a heavy resentment on missing out on the hedonism I could have. Some of my best memories are of spontaneous nights out where things just went wild. I feel bored in stability. I appreciate that I am chasing dopamine.

I've been very 50/50 on this issue for weeks. It's to the point where it is preoccupying my mind most of the day and affecting my work. In brief, I'm in a long term relationship with someone who I could see myself marrying and having a family with. It started when she visited my town a year ago and we have seen each other frequently since. Over the last year it's been less frequent, about once a month. We are both in careers with no clear location guarantee. We both could be moved around the country. I'm approaching 30 soon. The question is whether I break up with her to have full freedom of dating and ease of moving around or whether I stay with her due to the potential for a family with her. I love her and don't want to hurt her. But also I do have options and could date easily, it would just be hard to find someone like her. I feel a bit of resentment towards her, she benefits from the relationship more than me, and I am already moving jobs to be closer to her. The complicating factor is that there is another woman who is interested in me. A relationship with her wouldn't work but I could have a fun time with her. I could also enjoy doing careless "youth stuff". My career meant that I gave up a lot of my early and mid 20, minimal partying/travel/savings, but now I could experience that without commiting to a partner just yet. I feel like my main reasons for staying are that I do love her and I don't want to hurt her by leaving her, but if I was honest I would rather have fun and freedom. She has expressed she wouldn't want me sleeping with other people and would not stay in a relationship with me if I did. There is a lot to add but I appreciate it would make for a very long post. Has anyone had experience with being in a relationship with someone who is a quality person and wife material but wanting to end things to experience more fun and variety in life? @Leo Gura I remember you saying in ome of your videos that you've had many relationships but just ended up feeling like none of the women were good enough for you. I imagine I would have this feeling recurring even if I dated other people. Can elaborate on things in more detail if needed.

@WisdomInBooks There was a thread which contained a document that summarized all the 'start here' videos. Search 'Actualized.org textbook' on the forum. Also, welcome to the forum

One of the best books. It's one I reread almost every year because as I gain experience in the real world, increasing layers of depth come out of the book. It's very worthwhile. There are no contradictions in it.

Thank you for all that you do Leo ?

You will understand when you awaken to Aloneness. That's is a mindfuck which may make you severely depressed.

You think that death exists because you assume that when this 'death' happens that you will be in a different state... In a state of 'gone' or 'no longer alive' but the reality is that there is nowhere to go other than here and now. You have never left the here and now and you never will. You are alive forever or in other words you have always been dead and just haven't realised it. Ask yourself. Is it possible that I already died and have been living in a post-death dream all my life thinking that I was actually alive. ^thats not reality exactly but it gets you to consider your current experience. Also, you identify with your body, and you think that you die when the body gets frail and dies. But why do you not consider your fridge to have died when you leave the kitchen ? Or a passing car to be alive and then dead when you no longer are conscious of it. When you 'die' you will realise the body was just like the fridge and car, but that your memories and experiences were tied to it more. You are at a state of consciousness that isn't allowing you to see that you ARE consciousness - for a good reason ?. LOVE

@Yarco thank you very much for that detailed answer! I thought that would be the case since we live in a globalised economy and everything is digital, but some of the first links I briefly scanned during a work break kept insisting on these difficulties. Thank you for the clarification

As per heading. I'm wanting to write a book and publish a kindle version on Amazon. I'm not a US citizen and live outside the US. I've done a bit of research and it seems like if you're not in the US there are a lot of issues doing this easily. Which seems strange. Ayone outside the US published via Kindle and could give some advice? Thabjs in advance

Bring to mind somebody you respect and ask yourself if they would do this.

I don't think Tate takes what he says seriously. The guy fully understands he is a meme. His brother even said on their podcast that Tate enters character mode when filmed. I took the golden nuggets and left all the rest. Lot to learn from him. Wouldn't buy anything from him though.

@assx95 tap on the shoulder then "Hey"/"Hey you're pretty". Any positive reaction, even a small smile or prolonged eye contact means you can escalate. Then dance together/next to her. Tease by going for a kiss then pulling away a couple times. Then makeout for a short time. Then either go for a chat in a quiet area or go for the pull: "let's get out of here/do you like movies/let's grab a bite/ I wanna go home" They are either in a state to pull or not. If not then they won't pull no matter what you do or how much you try to game them. Stop trying to game people, just walk up and state that you think she's cute and dance with her in an intimate way. Your job is to state your intentions and escalate when she allows it. She decides whether you two will have sex, but it's your job to lead to it. If she has already decided you're not having it, do not waste time gaming her, move on, unless you want to befriend her/her circle for later. You do not need to share your whole life story on the dance floor. Be more physical.

Interested to see your review of HU. Tate is massively egotistical and I would never trust that he has anyone's best interests at heart but you have to admit that he has good red/blue/orange content to help kick you into action. His message that no one cares about you and you have to fight for your success actually helped spring me into action and momentum. I over invested in spirituality/awakening quite early and suffer from lack of significant real world development imo despite awakening. Scam or not, his methods of taking over social is an interesting case study worth exploring. But yes, you play with fire if you engage with his content so you must be sufficiently developed to avoid getting hurt.

I have a stage red shadow in the sense that I was very meek as a child and never took on many challenges or strived for anything. While this is changing in my adult life, I still feel like I am missing some healthy aspects of stage red. I happened onto Andrew Tate's channel. He is a professional kickboxer, who is now involved in business. His channel, from what I can gather is stage red/early orange. While this made me want to dismiss it initially, I find that his style of communication is very nuanced and a lot of subtle information is being conveyed below the surface. He reminds me of my father and perhaps this is why I am drawn to his information, as my father was not always present, nor did he convey much wisdom to me as a child - thereby me compensating by gathering life wisdom from Youtube sources in my late teen years. He has a way of communicating which cuts straight to my true feelings. And it reinforced what Leo says about burning through Karma. I'm 25 and while I have experienced awakening and recognise that this life is illusory and that no material thing will ever bring lasting happiness, there is still a part of me which strongly desires animalistic cravings like sex, materialistic pursuits, and power/respect. I have not had these things most of my life and I am cognisant of the fact that I can't meditate my way through this stage. Nor do I particularly want to. I've suffered from extreme shyness all my life and I just want to experience living a fun, chaotic, life. I do recognise that his POV is limited, but I feel he has a 'kick up the arse' style of communication that I really respond to. Life is a game and I have spent too much time thinking about the game and analysing the game instead of actually playing it. While I was rewarded for my efforts with God realisation, I am still stuck in the game. So in a sense, my development returned full circle to where I was when I started the self-actualization journey, but I am restarting it with higher wisdom.

Part of my gut feeling is telling me I didn't push hard enought/wasn't sexual enough. Another part of my gut feeling is telling me I did exactly the right thing by being chill and non pressuring, given calibrating to the energy of the room. Very quickly: matched on tinder. Very positive Convo with good back and forth. Switched to Instagram with her (which I use more often and you can send photos on). Built some more superficial comfort and pushed to meet up in person. Met up around 7pm went for some tea at a cafe, then wondered around supermarket and got some snacks (I like going around shops because you can chat and build comfort without sitting down for ages, it's more fun). Sat in her car and listened to music and chatted. Then I offered to go back to mine to keep listening to music and chatting. She agreed. We chatted until midnight on my bed. All very positive. In terms of physicality, I did some light touching on shoulder/arm throughout night. No hand. Hug on meeting up. Was lying close to her on bed but not cuddling as didn't get 'positive' response. Neutral at best I think. My impression was that I was testing the waters with more physicality but got neutral responses so dialled it back. Also was not feeling that sex would be a win-win. I liked her and we had a great time but I don't think either of us were horny tbh. Regardless it was a very fun night and I really enjoyed it. My problem is that I think with all the pickup theory I've read, it's kinda made me think that I didn't push hard enough. On the other hand, my feeling is that my calibration was correct and that I did the right thing in terms of building comfort and setting up for a future hookup. My frame was to not let myself be the limiting factor and for all intents and purposes I wasn't. She had to go home and complete some documents to hand into work the next day so had a legitimate excuse to not stay the night. It was getting late and I said she's welcome to stay the night. Her response was that she would love to stay but just on another night. Anyway later I walked her to her car. She had a great night and said "I feel like I've known you so long, we had such a deep connection" Next day she messages: "Thank u so much for the amazing company you’re such a cool person! Couldn’t get over how comfortable I am around u and how much ya made me laugh. You ROCK" Am in two minds. One part thinks I let it slip. One part thinks all is well and there is a setup for future hookup. One half thinks the other is a pussy for not being more dominant while the other thinks the first is animalistic/sexually pushy/outcome oriented and uncalibrated. Need some perspective on this.