Emerald

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Posts posted by Emerald

  1. Posted

    29 minutes ago, CreamCat said:

    What about the supposed victims of fraud, libel, violence, murder, and other crimes? Do people need to assume that the accused are always 'guilty until proven innocent' for whatever crime?

    I heard most american jurors assume that the defendants are guilty by default because the accusers are almost always right.

    It sounds that you want to bypass the legal process entirely.

    I'm so afraid because, when psychopaths hear about the news that the accusers are assumed always right, they will concentrate their entire force on that weak point of people's lives. Psychopaths become full-time accusers. One full-time accuser can be sueing 10~20 people at any given time.

    When that happens, women are not safe, either because the professional accusers will not stop.

    Again, I said that it's my rule for 'me' as an individual. The legal process needs to have impartiality... I do not. 

  2. Posted

    8 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

    I'm not picking a fight, but what's wrong with innocent until proven guilty?

    Do you understand that without the "innocent" model I can accuse you of anything and put you in big trouble even if you are innocent?

    Criminal cases must be dealt with extreme rationality and caution, because you're risking of ruining one of the two persons' lives.

    You can't just trust "He/she is a criminal" and send the other person to jail for sexual non proven misconduct or non proven scam or non proven terrorism. Now of course we want to send actual criminals to prison. But they have to be true!!! And we don't know at the beginning!

    I hope that I just misread because you're very intelligent.

    Because to say "innocent until proven guilty" (as an individual person and not as a jury member or judge), means that you are always giving the benefit of the doubt to the abuser and always calling the character of the victim into question by default. So, it puts you in a situation where you have to make the choice of either accusing the alleged abuser of a crime, or accusing the alleged victim of a crime. There is no middle ground. And because most people make the 'innocent until proven guilty' their default answer, they default to accusing the victim of the crime of false accusation. And whether they intend to or not, it plants a seed in the minds of society.

    Because of this fact, it MUCH more difficult for victims of sexual abuse to come forward, because they may decide that it would be too painful to have so many people think that they're low enough to falsely accuse someone of a sexual crime. So, it adds insult to injury. 

    And given that false accusation for all crimes (including but not limited to crimes of a sexual nature) is at a rate of 2%, if you automatically default to giving the alleged abuser the benefit of the doubt, then you will be wrong 98% of the time. And the abused will know that the seed has been planted in so many people's minds that they, as a victim, are the criminals and that the actual abuser is the innocent one. That would be very painful after having been raped.

    So, I know it's uncomfortable because we don't really know what's actually happening. And if we've never been the victim of sexual assault, it's much easier to empathize with someone who might have been falsely accused instead of someone who might have been raped. So, we imagine what a nightmare it would be to be in that 2%, but we can't imagine what it would be like to be in that 98%. 

    So, I always default to believing the abused, because that means I'll be correct 98% of the time. Also, I will add to a culture that makes it more comfortable for victims of abuse to come forward without having to worry about friends, family, and society turning against them and sympathizing with their abuser over them. Believing them is the bare minimum thing a person can do in terms of supporting a victim of these types of crimes.

    But most importantly, I also acknowledge that I don't really know and because of that fact, my opinion means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE. So, because my opinion means nothing and has no real substantial impact on what happens, it's all the more reason for me to default to believing and siding with the abused. 

     

  4. Posted

    13 hours ago, Key Elements said:

    Yes, I understand. The reason why I mentioned this is because I met a landlady once who told me that she prefers to rent out her property to white collar, married couples with small families (ie 1-2 children). She said that from her experience these type of ppl are the most stable, financially and emotionally. They are mainly decent and pay their rent on time. They stay with you the longest. This wasn't in the US. I know that US has discrimination laws against this. But, the point is, I'm talking about the target audience. I met a graphic artist who is self-employed and met his clients through all kinds of people when he first started his self-employment business. He ran into some trouble of getting some clients who did not pay him on time or who did not pay him at all and just took off. No they were not white collar, married with children. This is something that caught my attention. When you coach professionally, maybe perhaps, you may want to offer them a free session or a discounted session and make them pay first through an online account. I'm just sharing my thoughts. It seems like where you advertise counts toward who your clients and target audience will be.

    I'm running the service through my Patreon, so they actually have to pledge and pay first. Then, when I do full-time coaching, I will probably continue doing one-off sessions through Patreon, but do my more extensive coaching practice through my website, which would also be paid in advance. 

  5. Posted

    57 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

    @Emerald Here's another idea. Maybe after you've taken some classes, you could start coaching ppl online with your own website, PayPal account, and put an ad in a decent magazine or somewhere. I found my children's daycare/school in a very good magazine ad at the local public library when they were little. The point to this is, if you start working online in terms of self-employment instead of an outside job, if you decide to move, you don't have to lose your job. You could even work on your smartphone. 

    I definitely plan to work mostly online. I could do a face to face meeting if someone is close-by to me. But mostly, my established audience is online and at random corners of the Earth. So, I probably wouldn't do the magazine thing. That would be better if I had a local brick and mortar business. 

    I'd just use my channel and my FB page to advertise it. And I think I'll be able to get clients pretty quickly. Currently, I've done very little advertising for my 'guinea pig' experiment and I only have 4 out of the 10 slots left. And most of my subscriber base doesn't even know about it yet, because I haven't made a video announcement about it. 

    I was thinking that once I am certified, I could offer 'one-off' 30 and 60 minute sessions through my Patreon account. And I would offer a more extensive coaching program through my website, which would be a lot more involved and have a whole system around it. 

  7. Posted

    I don't really think that's why he believes he will only live to be 60 or 70. Meditation doesn't have an adverse effect on health in that way. Plus, Kriya Yoga is very active. He may just be low-balling his life expectancy to give himself more of a sense of urgency to achieving what he wants to achieve or to become aware of how close death looms upon the horizon. But there could also be other reasons that he doesn't much mention. 

  8. Posted

    1 hour ago, Nahm said:

    @Emerald I gotta say, I agree with @Joseph Maynor. I think you are two life coaching books away from seeing you are already over qualified. I’d read a couple books and check. I’ve been doing one on one 3 hour ‘wake up’ socratic conversations, and I recently read a book on life coaching. I was surprised to see, and I think you would be too, that’s much more about asking the right question at the right time and listening, than it is drawing on your wealth of knowledge and experience. You might not prefer the coaching route, but it might be a perfect ingredient for your future ’recipe’. You’re great at whatever you do anyways....and people have been asking for your coaching for a year already...just sayin...some people would find that sufficient to proceed. ? 

    Thank you for the sentiments. :) I'm sure that a lot of people would consider me sufficient as a coach now. And that's why I feel comfortable enough to get some "guinea pigs" to try it out on. But I know that I would feel as though I was bluffing and faking it, which I would be. I would be far more comfortable with completing a program and being as qualified as is possible. I don't like to feel like I'm cutting corners. 

    Then, once I do that, I can establish a firm professional foundation for my practice and offer both long-term coaching and one-off sessions as well. And I'll have more professional clout and experience to make myself and other more confident in the service I'd be offering.

    I've looked into the IPEC program that Leo suggested, and I do feel that the things they would be teaching dovetail nicely with the way I want to approach coaching because it is geared toward becoming aware of what's unconscious that stands in the way of personal growth. And the creator of the course took strong influence from psychotherapy, NLP, consciousness work, and other depth psychology related things, which is all right up my alley. 

  9. Posted

    3 hours ago, Key Elements said:

    @Emerald cool. You know, sometimes you need to work to be the breadwinner of the family as well as bootstrap. That maybe the reason you want to coach. Of course, #1 reason is you love helping ppl in that way.The classes sound expensive, esp the ones Leo suggested. Are you certain that you can't pick up the skills on your own? Well, there must be a good reason why Leo suggested those. You have a book suggestion on this thread already. That's good.

    Certainly, there is a financial motivation behind my desire to go into coaching. But I also want a career that actually fits with my life's purpose, where I can focus on giving value in the way I'm most suited to. Currently, I spend almost 40 hours a week as a substitute teacher. And I'm okay at the job, and I enjoy certain aspects of it. But I never get the feeling like it was what I was meant to do. I mostly do it because I'm not well suited to full-time teaching, due to the fact that I have a personality that invites people in.

    Now, in regard to my life's purpose, this is a positive thing. But with regard to being a classroom teacher, it's super stressful for me. I have to keep most of my personality back, because if I show my personality in that setting, there will be at least one student who takes my open-ness as an invitation for fuckery. And once that one person does that, others follow. 

    So, I have to basically pretend to be a rigid person to keep the classroom under control. This is why substitute teaching works for me but regular teaching does not. Because when I'm subbing I can be that rigid person and lay down the law to keep the duckies in a row. And the students won't try me because they believe my front. But once I get comfortable and get to know my students, I naturally start to relax and care and open up. And that's when classroom management becomes a struggle against my own natural tendencies. Because there will always be a student or two, that take my open-ness as an invitation for misbehavior.

    So, that's why I sub instead of teach, even though I make like a third of what I did as a full-time teacher. So, I make like $12000 a year. But it's better than making the $38,000 a year that I used to make as a regular teacher working 60+ hours a weak and always struggling despite all the work I was putting in. 

    But I probably could do okay with it, even just reading a few books. But I'm pretty set on going all the way and doing a course. I'm sure there are plenty of things that it can teach me that I wouldn't otherwise anticipate. So, I'm going to see if I can find a way to get the money to pay for the course. I'm sure that it will be worth it in the end. 

    I just really need to get my life in alignment with what I really want to do. Making a living has always been a struggle for me. And I like to think this money struggle is life's way of pushing me into something I'm much more suited to so that I can give my time to something that the world would benefit from. And what's great about not making a ton of money is that it shouldn't be too long before I can do that and make the same or better living than I do now. I've just always had a lot of limiting mindsets around needing to have a 9 to 5 job in order to be safe with my finances, what little they are. But I'm just now considering that perhaps it is doable for me to make a living doing the thing that comes most naturally. 

  10. Posted

    44 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

    Well, what I mean is, if you have a desire to just share your most profound spiritual experience and how you got there in your unique spiritual path (ie. being the no-self and falling back into your ego with love/bliss), you can. You could describe it in a let's say a book or an app somewhere in a creative way. However, not many ppl will be able to relate. Maybe perhaps a small handful of ppl will be able to if you have a large target audience. If you wrote 5 popular books, maybe you could write it in one somewhere and see what happens.

    For those who are able to relate (and there won't be many, probably a small handful), they'll make comments somewhere, maybe in your blog/forum, and you could pick them out somehow to talk to them. That's what I mean.

    I've spoken about these kinds of experiences before on my channel from a lot of different angles. But it's always to help facilitate people to look deeper at situations in their own life and look deeper into their internal experience and to reintegrate what has been repressed and forgotten. I got a lot of insights into how repression works when I had my experience of ego transcendence. So, I like to share my experiences to illustrate the mechanisms at work so that people can see what they're up against. 

    But if I wrote some books, I would keep my focus more toward what I feel that most people can benefit from. Now, I've considered writing a "seeker's guidebook" to different things to contemplate and different angles to view things from. So, I suppose higher truths would come into that book quite a bit.

    But honestly, I'm much more interested in writing things that will help solving issues (of an internal nature) that everyone (or most everyone) is suffering from, like self-hatred, judgment, etc. And sometimes higher truths are applicable, but other times more practical truths are more appropriate. 

    But with regard to coaching, the client would be coming to me with specific goals or issues to overcome. So, I would tailor the sessions to them, and addressing their specific needs. 

     

  11. Posted

    2 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

    hmm...

    Entrepreneural skills = be different, simple, and creative so ppl (fans/target audience) can relate. But, the high consciousness spiritual stuff will have to be in small clumps (ie. book, app). Then, you'll have a very small cluster of profound ppl in one corner.

    I've been working on these quite a bit with my YouTube channel already. So, regarding the business aspect of coaching,I think that my coaching service will be a natural extension of that. I plan to keep everything in proximity to my own branding decisions, whether I do my channel stuff, write books, do coaching, do workshops, etc. 

    But I'm not sure what you mean by "small clumps". Do you mean that I have to break down things down into digestible bites so that people can easily understand? If so, this is also something that I do for my channel. One of the core things that I get complimented on about my channel is demystifying psychological and spiritual truths, so that they are easy to understand. 

  12. Posted

    Just now, SelfHelpGuy said:

    @Emerald So would you say it's okay to go to  a certain place 3 times a week and cold approach 10 girls each time (So 30 a week in total) is okay?

    I'm very genuine about it and the girls all seemed very comfortable with it. 

    I just said 'I know this is very forward, but I thought you looked pretty cute, nice to meet you' etc etc

     

    It's not the amount of girls that you approach. It's more about whether or not you think a particular woman gets approached in that setting a lot. But I think what you said is fine, as long as you start with a "hello" and gauge her reaction to it. You have to watch for facial cues and body language to tell if she's okay with it. But none of this is something that you would be over legal bounds with, as long as you respect their boundaries and don't be too pushy or lewd. 

  15. Posted

    7 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

    Emerald 

    I think doing more school might not be the best for you.  I think whatever you wanted to be you could just do it now.  You're already ready.  

    If you wanted to be a Personal Development teacher, I think you should just go ahead and do that now.

    I think doing school would just slow you down.  I would just assume you're already a Personal Development teacher, which you are, and pitch yourself in that manner.

    I consider myself a Personal Development teacher, and I have no interest at all in going to school for anything.  School would just slow me down.  I've done enough school in my life. 

    I think you could just start pitching your life coaching services on your channel just like Leo did at first.  I think more school is a hurdle that you think you need that you actually don't need -- and I think it would be a distraction, frankly.  I hate to be blunt because I know you're a teacher -- but school is f*cking overrated!  You need to be getting the hell away from more school at this point.  

    You don't need anymore school.  I assume you have a Master's Degree.  That's enough school.  A Bachelor's Degree is enough school, frankly.  After that, you wanna get the hell away from the school as fast as you can and into the real world.  You have more of a marketing problem than an education problem, see.  And you're already set up to do the marketing.  You're already doing marketing!  So, you just need to keep doing what you're already doing.  Don't get distracted.  

    Joseph

    Personally, I think that I still have plenty to learn about how to help people in a professional setting. I'm confident in my ability to cut to the core of problems that a person may be experiencing due to unconscious happenings. What I don't know yet is the manner in which to facilitate growth in others in a way that really makes things stick. So, I would feel much more comfortable offering a coaching service, if I have professional guidance on the matter first. Either way, it certainly won't hurt to learn more. 

  16. Posted

    10 hours ago, aurum said:

    @Emerald

    I'd read Co-Active Coaching to decide how you like coaching. That's like the modern bible for the industry.

    Also, if you do decide to take the leap, send me a message once you're ready for business. I'll shoot you referrals.

    Thank you Austin! I'll check that one out. And that would be really awesome of you to send some people over to me. :) I know that you've been a coach for a while. How long have you been doing it, and how many clients do you normally see at a time? 

  17. Posted · Edited by Emerald

    Harassment is illegal. Going up and talking to someone is not. So, cold approach is not illegal. It just depends on what you say and how you respond to requests to desist. So, if you go up and start with something lewd, that's illegal immediately. But if you go up and say, "Hi, you look nice today." it's not harassment until she says she doesn't feel comfortable with that. Then, if she tells you to stop and you continue, then it's harassment.

    But honestly, it's VERY unlikely that you would have legal consequences for cold approaching in general, even if you were a total creep about it and opened with "I like your boobs". Now, of course, that's illegal and just a crappy thing to do, so don't do it. But women have to deal with creeps constantly, and there's just not enough time to press charges against them all. And most women just want to get out of that situation and move on with life. 

    Also, unfortunately, even when women are dealing with more serious forms of harassment like rape, most of that goes unreported because of the fact that so many people in your life will take the side of the abuser and accuse you of making false accusations. And the majority of people will give the abuser the benefit of the doubt over you, because of "innocent until proven guilty". So, it can just be easier to keep it to yourself and try to move on to avoid being re-victimized by society.

    So, if you approach a woman on the street and aren't a total creep about it, the chances of being prosecuted drop to nearly 0. I guess there could be some crazy woman out there that would get the cops just for looking at her the wrong way or something. But that would be incredibly rare and without proof on her part it would amount to nothing.

    So, as long as you are being normal and respecting her boundaries, you shouldn't have a problem. Women are used to being approached. And women are used to being harassed. It's really clear what the difference is. Now, approach becomes a problem if it's happening all the time. It's very annoying when you're just trying to get from A to B, and like 10 random guys approach you. That can be exasperating. So, you should pay attention to the setting and what she's doing there, and try not to interrupt her when she's probably been approached a lot. 

  19. Posted · Edited by Emerald

    45 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

    @Emerald HOLY CHRIST, MOTHER

    YOU are Diamond Net??

    Be more transparent about secret identities >:0

    I'm like Carmen San Diego... or all the monsters on Scooby Doo. You never know where I'll be or who I'll be. xD

    (lightning strikes and ominous music plays in the background as the tails of my trench coat billow in the wind and my silhouette is emblazoned upon the night sky) 

  20. Posted · Edited by Emerald

    2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    @Emerald There do exist books on how to coach. At the very least read up on them.

    It can also be very eye-opening to get coached yourself. So you can see how it feels.

    But doing an in-person coaching programming is really the key. You will learn so much.

    For you, since you already has an audience, it might make sense to take out a loan/credit to do the coaching program since you are basically guaranteed to make the money back (because you have an audience).

    You can probably make $10,000 back within 6 months of finishing the program. Program takes about 1 year to finish.

    You're actually losing money every day by not taking the program. But this is unique to you, because you already have the hardest part done: building an audience. This is not the case for most new coaches.

    Are any of those books on your book list? I purchased it a couple years ago, and I haven't looked at it in a while. 

    Also, with the in-person program that you did, did you have to commute for it? If so, how often were the in-person meetings? I live in a kind of small town, so it would be unlikely that they have such a program within 30 minutes of me. So, I want to get a feel for how much of the course material is done in person. 

    Now, I will admit, this will be very difficult for me financially to get over the hurdle. Money is always tight because my husband and I both work low paying jobs. And he (remarkably) has no credit, and I have terrible credit. 

    But I'm certain that what you say is correct. I know I would make it back quickly. I have over 16,000 subs now, and I've been getting requests for one-on-one sessions for over a year.

    So, what do you think about doing a cheaper program first, and establishing a coaching business? I've seen a couple that looked decent for around $2000. And they were about six month long courses. Then, with the money from that coaching business, going and completing the IPEC program? I know it's not ideal, but that's really the only way I can slice it that it seems actionable.

    But I'm really glad that you told me about the IPEC program, because looking around for coaching programs has been like fumbling around in the dark. I'll definitely be looking into it.

    Thanks again! :)

    Edit: I checked out the IPEC website, and there is one in my state. Also, I saw that there were three different, three day modules that happen in person. So, you can disregard that part of the question. That's a plus, because that's really doable. 

  21. Posted · Edited by Emerald

    13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    IPEC is a really good program (which I did).

    Yes, they teach some business stuff, but the real value of it is they train you how to properly coach, which is quite difficult to learn on your own. You will meet lots of people there who you can practice-coach with to build up your skills. They will also teach you lots of great techniques.

    Coaching is not what most people think it is. Coaching is NOT about giving people advice. Coaching is about asking powerful questions which facilitate the client to contemplate. Coaching is actually more powerful than giving people advice. Any fool can give advice, but very few people can coach. Coaching requires humility.

    Coaching skills are very versatile. They are not limited to business or spirituality or life purpose. You can use those skills to coach in whichever sub-specialty you want. You can definitely become a spirituality coach, if that's your passion.

    I might have 6-8 clients at my peak. But I was never a full-time coach. That was never my desire. Turned down many clients. Most of my time went into shooting videos. I have probably coached over 100 people in total.

    From what I can see you would make a great coach. The only question is, do you really want to be a coach? To be a good coach you gotta want to work with people one-on-one and deal with their "stuff". It can be very rewarding, but it's not for everyone.

    For example, I prefer mouthing off in videos rather than coaching people. But coaching can also be fun. A different kind of fun.

    P.S. I doubt you'll find a coaching program with a spiritual focus. That is unnecessary anyhow.

    And IPEC is all about consciousness, consciousness, consciousness. That's all they talk about. Just not in a woo-woo way. It's toned down to appeal to ordinary folk. You can teach and coach spirituality without ever telling a person it is spirituality or "God", and they will eat it up. They'll think it's the most amazing and powerful thing. But you can phrase it very plainly and pragmatically.

    Or... you can go all fucking woo-woo and pull out the crystals and group chanting ;) Same thing, different window-dressing.

    Thank you for the recommendation and the wealth of advice! Also, I'm very flattered that your impression is that I would do well with coaching. It's very encouraging to me. :$

    I know that my life's purpose is to contemplate on the nature of things, then convey them to others in order to bring them more into alignment with what's true at deeper levels than appearance. It's been a common thread through my life, even back into early childhood. And I've always gotten a lot of joy from helping others discover new things about reality, as well as to help them apply best-practices to their life that will make their lives better in some way. 

    So, I do think that coaching will dovetail nicely with my life's purpose. But coaching would just be one extension of that. So, I also don't anticipate that it will be my MAIN thing. I also will continue to make videos, and in the future I will write books. Also, if I develop some public speaking skills, I may even eventually delve into hosting my own workshops and other group-education endeavors. I would see coaching more as one branch off of a much larger tree. 

    That said, I would have to get my feet wet with coaching to know whether or not it's for me and does truly dovetail with my life's purpose. I know that sometimes, when the rubber meets the road, things are different than they initially seem.

     And because I am a pauper (not really, but kind of ;) ), I have decided to get my feet wet with the 'one-on-one' aspect of coaching before making a big financial commitment. This is because the 'one-on-one' aspect of coaching, is the part I'm most apprehensive about because I've never done something like that professionally before, and I don't know how I'll do with it.

    So, because of this concern, I actually just created a new tier on my Patreon two days ago, where I basically stated my desire to go into life-coaching and my uncertainty with whether or not I should. And I was asking for guinea pigs who would want to have a session with me once a month for a few months, to see how it goes. And I'm offering it for relatively cheap since I have no training. So, I've already gotten five takers on that offer, and I'm hoping to get about ten which will give me a random sampling of people to help me get a sense for how that aspect of the job works.

    Now, you'll probably advise me to create a disclaimer/agreement where I make it clear that I'm not trained or certified and that I'm not liable for anything wrong that happens. I already have a sample contract that I'm in the process of tweaking to the specific circumstances. Also, I won't be doing these sessions until September, so it gives me a decent chunk of time to do some independent research into the professional best-practices when it comes to how to interact with people in a way that establishes clear boundaries and keeps the conversation productive and professional. 

    Of course, if you have any recommendations for free resources that are on the internet, I would be over the moon about that!

    I do understand, however, that those resources won't be sufficient for understanding all the ins and outs of the field and that I would need a high quality program for actually learning the trade in a meaningful way. These would just be for some guidance during my guinea-pigging. 

    Thank you again! 

  23. Posted

    Hey everyone!

    Now that I have a decent sized subscriber base on my YouTube channel, I'm strongly considering training to be a life coach. But I would want to tailor my life-coaching to what I talk about in my videos, which are topics of a psychological, contemplative, and spiritual nature. So, I would really be more of a spiritual advisor than a life-coach. I just feel that learning the professional ins and outs of responsibly consulting with people in this manner would be something that I could learn through a good life-coaching program. 

    Of course, most life coaching programs that I've come across are more focused toward business than anything else, save for a few with a spiritual focus. But I want to make sure that I'm choosing a quality program, that is ICF certified. I want to avoid scams. 

    Are there any life coaches on here who have recommendations?

    Thanks! ;)