Emerald

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Posts posted by Emerald

  2. Posted

    8 hours ago, Joshe said:

    Yes, they get in their own way. 

    The best thing for them to do is just go get a girlfriend and have sex a thousand times so they can stop obsessing about it.

    There's no need to worry about pickup and female psychology and all this bullshit. You just go put yourself around people and learn to have fun and be yourself. Sooner or later, a girl will give you a look. Don't respond to it. Wait for another look, then smile or use a more intense gaze to acknowledge her. Before long, you'll have your pecker up in some wet stuff.

    You don't even have to approach. All you have to do is talk to them from across the bar or where ever you are. I found they actually like that you make your first communication with them from a distance but it should be a neutral topic, no teasing or pickup line. Something as simple as "holy shit, did you see that?" invites her in. If she doesn't want to come, put her out of your mind and continue to have fun. She just might wind up at your side 20 minutes later. 

    It's really that simple. Just go out with a goal to have fun, not get laid. Girls are attracted to fun, laughter, and easy-going demeanor. Smile and laugh a lot, and it's impossible to not get laid. If you go to a bar and take up space (not like a clown) and laugh loudly (but not too loud) and crack jokes, every woman in the place will wonder about you. Keep sex in the very back of your mind, not the front.

    Use something in the environment as a way to connect, such as the music jukebox, dart, pool, or ring game. Mostly joke, discuss things in the environment, tease once or twice only, and ask questions in between. Don't try to be cool, she can smell your bullshit. Don't be afraid of silence and actually don't care if she walks away and never comes back. You need to build a reputation of being fun and easy-going, not a needy try-hard.

    Bars are great for getting laid and practicing your social skills. Not nightclubs, as there's too much going on.

    This is the easy path to getting the pecker wet, but feel free to analyze hundreds of hours of female psychology and pickup content if that's more important than actually getting some puss. 

    5koMXzC.png

    Best and most realistic dating advice for guys that I've seen on this entire forum.

  4. Posted

    4 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

    Yes I think it's just the continuation of communication. It's just becomes - typically - more nonverbal communication. 

    I could often recognize how sexual patterns reflects other behaviors re daily interactions between the woman and me. Confidence, balance, passive vs. active, letting go, giving and receiving, etc. etc. 

    Sex is IMO not a distant goal, a final destination or whatever, even if that seems to be reflected in our culture. It's the continuation of a process. And After Sex is before daily interactions which is before having sex another time which is already different because you got to know each other better... until infinity(!?)

    First time with my GF was often (maybe every time?) awkward. But the learning curve tends to be very steep :)

    That's been my experience too that it's a continuation of other non-sexual forms of communication.

  5. Posted

    4 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

    I have found this to be very true in my experience. 

    Show a man that he can remove the stress of a hard workday by jumping into pure emotion in the moment. Always found positive engagement to follow. It did always feel like men engaged with their own emotions through my own flamboyant expression (I am very expressive facially and I talk with my hands and body). Having said that, it doesn't work if one has predominantly negative emotions. 

    But if i can bring real raw emotive communication to the bedroom it creates a thunderous experience 😁 

    Words don't seem as powerful in this setting, but the best sex I have had is when raw emotion was the communication between me and the man. Words were only useful when I was cracking a joke, and laughing in the moment is damn bliss ! 

    I think a lot of it comes down to subconsciously communicating to the man 'you make me feel safe enough to engage in the moment, fully. You hold space for me' Reinforcing he is providing as best he can and is powerful for her presence.

    Yes, that's an important point.

    Men tend to like to feel like they're having a powerful positive effect towards their partner.

    So, open emotional expression shows him his impact on you.

    And there's also the vicarious enjoyment of experiencing a woman who's in touch with her emotions and body.

  6. Posted

    19 minutes ago, Joshe said:

    By that logic, we can say that when ANY human at ANY level complains, they are forgetting that it couldn’t be any other way, including your complaint about green right now. 

    Once we realize reality couldn’t be any other way, what are we to do with that? What do you do with it? Do you throw your hands up or press on for improvement? 

    Is it your position that identifying problems and solutions is futile? Or simply it’s more mature(ego juice superior) to recognize the inevitability of reality, and only then press for change once that is acknowledged?

    It’s so easy to find blind spots in worldviews, but what is even the point of this? For me, it’s to understand human psychology. But once the blind spots are identified and the mechanisms known, then what? Like, to me, it doesn’t make sense that people are still posting examples of stage orange and green yellow mega threads because how many examples do you need to understand the blind spots, self-deceptions, and biases common to each level? How long must we stare at the same blind spot? What is this fixation really about? This is a dangerous thread to pull on for many egos here, including those thought to be highly developed. 

    For many, it’s about self-esteem. Placing oneself higher than others. Being the one that can see. The special one. Because if there’s no practical benefit in returning to an assessment, why would one return to it a thousand times? The answer is ego juice. 

    100%

  8. Posted

    13 hours ago, Joshe said:

    @Emerald is right. JP is bad faith. Here’s the best articulation of his shenanigans I’ve heard.

    Turns out, this Jubilee format is really hurting right wingers. Candace Owens recently went on and was made look like the fool that she is. And when left-wingers like Sam Ceder and Destiny go on, they clean house. It probably won’t be long before right wingers know to stay as far away from jubilee as possible…. On second thought, they are slow to catch on. 

    Definitely 100% bad faith from the beginning... but more convincing back then.

    Also, that's surprising that these Jubilee videos are actually doing something positive. I had always chalked them up to just being a way to "both sides" some really cut and dried issue.

    Like, I would only be slightly surprised to see a Jubilee video that's like "Child murderers versus Parents" where both sides share the "merits" of their arguments.

    But it's good to know that this format is actually exposing the weaknesses and inconsistencies of the paradigms that these right wing pundits operate off of.

    Perhaps this format really does throw some light on the realities of what these pundits believe, for political normies.

  9. Posted

    22 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

    Btw how much experience is needed to put your penis in a vagina and go back and forth

    There's more to it than that. Remember... there is good and bad sex... and both involve penetration and going back and forth.

    Good sex is more like a communicative dance.

    And it usually takes a while to learn how to stay in sync with one another... and to keep the communication going throughout the experience.

    And there's a learning curve that newbies (male and female) have to go through to get to that point.

  10. Posted

    21 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

    They are not masculine, they look for their mom.

    I want sex being a low stress place.

    If you hate yourself maybe.

    Inexperience is funny/cute.

    Sex isn’t supposed to be a performance.

    Otherwise you might as well go see a prostitute or a gigolo if you are a woman.

    My experience has been that mature men tend to want a woman who is roughly on the same page as them, sexually and otherwise. 

    And men who are over a certain age who are all about virginity just come across like they never quite grew up.

    This may be something that you're not tuned into as a guy in his early 20s. But it's important to be aware of how it's perceived by adult women and adult society in general.

    But the main issue with what you're posting here is that you're making these posts off of random conjectures when you haven't even had sex yourself.

    And it's not a problem that you haven't had sex yet, in itself. There is no shame in being a virgin. Lots of guys your age are in the same boat.

    But you should recognize that you really don't even know what you're going to like yet. All you have is fantasies. And those fantasies may not be all they're cracked up to be in actuality.

    For example, when I was fantasizing before I lost my virginity, I thought that I was going to be into 69ing and BDSM switching with all the ropes and accouterments. (I just thought the BDSM look was sexy, so it had become short-hand for sex)

    And I had my first serious boyfriend what I was 16 who I lost my virginity to. And I lived with him and his family until I moved away for college at 18.

    So, over the course of about a year and half living together, we tried out a lot of things sexually... including those fantasies.

    And I was really surprised to find that those things I'd been fantasizing about, just didn't do it for me.

    First off, 69ing is super annoying because trying give and receive at the same time is awkward and no one can surrender to the receiving because there is a responsibility to keep giving. I don't see why anyone likes it at all. 

    And the BDSM thing just didn't do much for me. It was cool looking... but it didn't push any buttons.

    And then, things that I hadn't fantasized or even thought about before did do it for me.

    Like I was surprised at how much I liked the feeling of skin-to-skin contact. I hadn't even considered that I might enjoy the more vanilla or cuddly parts of sex because they weren't part of my pop culture/porn education about sex... and they didn't seem as interesting as other more "flashy" sexual acts.

    Point being, you don't even know what you like yet.... let alone other men your age... let alone fully grown mature men.

  11. Posted

    On 6/25/2025 at 1:29 PM, theleelajoker said:

    +1 

    Doesn't really matter if she's sad, happy, having her period, vulnerable, angry, full of bliss etc...as long as it's authentic and she just expresses without the intention to manipulate I do respond to that and feel more connection.

    One time my ex-gf had such a shitty day that she barely want to talk to anyone. She felt like she's a burden for others in this mood. I convinced her to at least sent me a short video message. And seeing her expressing herself I felt like immediately going to see her. Not to change her mood or sth, just to be present with her. 

    Yes, that's a great point. It has to be without agenda... as agenda and manipulation is going into Masculine energy.

    But if she just shares her feelings with no expectations that is her in the Feminine. And it tends to draw a man in toward her.

  12. Posted

    8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

    @Emerald What is attractive is the domination of a feminine emotional world, like a guardian or a rock.

    This is why a virgin woman is more attractive, everything is still more unique while a woman with experience will be more “jaded”.

    I don't believe that the majority of full grown men would agree that a virgin is more attractive or interesting to have sex with.

    The reality is that virgins (male and female) are inexperienced and will tend to fumble around in the bedroom. That's why the first sexual experience is usually very mutually awkward.

    But I can understand how a lad who is also a virgin himself might prefer a virgin woman... as both parties will be going in blind to the experience and he won't feel as much insecurity or pressure to perform well at something he himself has no experience in.

  13. Posted

    1 hour ago, aurum said:

    Everything has been consistent about the chakras?

    We've had very different experiences then. Or maybe different standards for consistency.

    The real point I wanted to make was not about which chakras are "actually" masculine or feminine. It's about the lack of consistency, falsifiablity and construct-awareness around the use of the model.

    Yes, all sources that I've read from or listened to have been in agreement about which chakras are associated with which polarity.

    I haven't heard anyone stating otherwise in the 12 or 13 years that I've known information about chakras. Same thing with the colors of the chakras and what facet of experience they're associated with.. The sources have been quite consistent about what each chakra relates to.

    And there is a lot of consistency between all sorts of archetypal systems to characterize that which is Masculine as higher and non-physical and to characterize the Feminine as lower and physical. 

    It's even a thing in American sign language to do the female signs lower and male signs higher.

    So... very consistent in, not just the chakra system... but in most systems of human meaning.

    But while there has been consistency in the use of the model, of course most people don't relate to the chakra system in a deep way.

    Most people relate to it at face value... unless someone dives very deeply into the topic.

    For me, I've read a couple books on the topic, and I've watched quite a few videos on the topic over the years.

    But it's more of a passing knowledge. And the way I've used it has been mostly just another archetypal system of meaning that I use to cross-reference with other archetypal systems to tease out the meaning of symbols in dreams, synchronicities, and stories.

    But I was doing some Kundalini yoga about a decade ago. And I certainly experienced energy up the spine... just not evidently organized into vortexes.

  14. Posted

    23 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    He does that because he himself is confused.

    He knows God is real, but he doesn't know how to rationally square it with science and religion.

    So he's put himself into an impossible situation.

    You're reading too much sincerity into his public statements.

    Any waffling he does is to give off the vibe of nuanced intellectual professor-type who is moderate, open-minded, and willing to admit he doesn't know and question everything, so that he can bring up "thought experiments" about (his) fringe political takes with plausible deniability and the veneer of "just asking questions" in the eyes of political normies.

    So, he knows he can be more effective at that goal if he never takes a solid position on anything... but rather generally hints in the direction of the ideology he wants to plant the seeds for by getting others to open themselves up to questioning everything... even the meaning of basic words.

    It's been his game the entire time.

    So, of course he was never going to directly admit to being Christian... as that is part of the worldview he's trying to usher everyone into. And he has to keep that 'hush hush' as to not scare away the normies.

    But now, he's just gotten a lot worse at playing the game that he's been playing for the past decade. So, it just comes across like he has no position at all... in a deliberately obtuse way.

    But he definitely has an ideology... and a really closed sense of what's right. The waffling and uncertainty is and has always been just a dog and pony show.

    The dog and pony show of "Who can say what I believe?" just isn't as convincing anymore.

  15. Posted

    Jordan Peterson has ALWAYS been pulling this trick of... "Say something that sounds complex and intellectual... and endlessly obfuscate what you really mean and avoid taking a stance in order to maintain mainstream appeal. And do this by dog whistling for far-right talking points under the guise of being a neutral moderate intellectual that's being open-minded and 'considering all perspectives'... in order to grease the wheels to send normies further down the far-right pipeline towards more openly extreme voices."

    And many have recognized this from the very beginning with him. But he fooled many.

    It seems to me that, after his opiate addiction, he lost several steps.

    So, now he can't do the obfuscation convincingly anymore. And now, it's glaringly obvious to the average person that all he does is gish gallop all over the place and engage in intellectual dishonesty by means of splitting hairs and endlessly questioning the definition of words.

  16. Posted

    5 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

    I really appreciate your posts.

    @UnbornTao @Princess Arabia @Natasha Tori Maru @Nilsi @Emerald @Schizophonia @Keryo Koffa @Water by the River @Razard86

    I don't know a ton about Ralston.

    I read his "Book of Not Knowing" which was really quite brilliant and helpful for emptying your cup.

    And I've watched a few of his videos... but not many.

    In the little bit that I know of him, he seems fine... but I don't know him well enough to even know the criticisms.

  17. Posted

    Leo might not be the best person to ask because he doesn't have a wife or children.

    But the best thing you can do is to open yourself up to deeper connection with a woman... and develop a healthy social circle that includes both women and men.

    That is probably going to be your best bet for developing deep friendship and connection with a woman, which is the basis of longterm pair-bonding.

    So, I'd imagine that you might be in a position where you've never had a girlfriend because you haven't been socializing with women... or perhaps you haven't been socializing enough in general.

    To remedy this, you'll want to get a lot more social.

  18. Posted

    18 hours ago, aurum said:

    According to who?

    The chakra model is badly inconsistent. Teachers claim all kinds of things, based on their intuition and what they want to believe. Some may have legitmate ESP, but even here the claims are often not consistent.

    I once took a class with a psychic spiritual teacher who swore he downloaded from God that the chakras had swapped colors. 

    Every time I've encountered the 7 chakra system, it's characterized that way... where the crown, third eye, and throat chakras are associated with the Masculine and the solar plexus, sacral, and root chakras are associated with the Feminine.

    And the heart chakra is the meeting place between the polarities.

    I've never once seen it characterized otherwise. It's been very consistent across sources.

    And it's pretty archetypally consistent as well... as the Masculine is associated with the high, spiritual, and intellectual (non-physical) and the Feminine is associated with the low, Earthly, and concrete (physical). And this pattern tracks on with the chakra system as well.

    Of course, the 7 chakra system itself is incomplete... as there are said to be many nadis (energy centers) throughout the entire body.

    So, I'm sure there's significant divergence from the way contemporary Westerners relate to the chakra system compared with the people of India 3,500 years ago.

    But the way contemporary Westerners characterize it has been pretty consistent in my experience in all the things I've ever read or heard of regarding the chakras.

  20. Posted · Edited by Emerald

    Moral development and the question of "evil" isn't even the most effective perspective through which to see this issue... as neither morality nor evil are their own root causes. They are surface-level symptoms and labels that keep us grappling with those symptoms... and missing the root cause entirely.

    Seeing the problem of evil and prescribing morality and goodness as the cure... is like being a doctor that recognizes the patient has a fever and proposes Tylenol as a cure, when the patient actually has Malaria.

    And this notion of human morality remaining constant and the persistence of evil, is not recognizing what "moral development" really means at the roots... and what it really means to "cure" the root cause of evil.

    What we fail to see is that underneath all apparent evils is always a fundamental benevolent and loving intention towards all things recognized as Self. (This is why morality and evil is a very shallow perspective that no solutions can be found in.)

    But in our ignorance to the fundamental state of benevolent oneness that undergirds all sentient impulses... we split the world into the illusion of self and other. And we will go to war with anything labeled "other."

    We can even split ourselves... and label parts of ourselves as "other" and go to war with them.

    And it's because of this illusion of 'self and other' that TONS of "evil" actions that are taken all the time... rape, genocide, torture, murder, child abuse, pedophilia, etc. And these are VERY common in the human species.

    And it's more common than the average person knows... lest they are on the receiving end of said "evils.'

    Lucky people end up in little bubbles of privilege that insulate them from the harshness of the world. Hence, the most sheltered among us are the most unawares about both the surface and the roots of humanity.

    But like I said, looking through the lens of moral development and evil is just not a very effective lens through which to view this issue because morality and evil are just surface-level symptoms of a deeper problem.

    And that is the problem of disconnection and fragmentation... within ourselves and relative to others.

    And anyone (and anything), we genuinely recognize as part of ourselves... we will not want bad things to happen to these aspects of ourselves. And if harm comes their way, we will hurt. And we will not be capable of harming others without harming ourselves.

    But if we are disconnected (especially to an extreme degree) and we believed that we are separate form other people and the Earth itself... we will not care if harm comes to human, creature, or planet.

    So, what looks like a lack of moral development and evil on the surface is just a symptom of the ignorance that causes disconnection.

    And the entire reason why Spiral Dynamics can even be framed in terms of "moral development" is because, as we move up the spiral, we expand the scope of our sense of self to see more and more through the illusion of separation.

    Let's look at more collective phases in Spiral Dynamics... because the sense of self and other increases in more individuation-oriented phases.

    A Stage Purple tribe from thousands of years ago sees their tribe as one with themselves... and everyone else is an other. 

    A person in a Stage Blue society will see everyone in their nation as one with themselves... and everyone else is an other

    And ostensibly once we have Stage Green community (which hasn't yet come to pass) we will expand our self-identification to a species-wide or even inter-species identification.

    And beyond that, at Turquoise we recognize a more cosmic oneness.

    So, it's this expansion of our sense of self-hood and the undoing of the illusions of separation and disconnection that causes what we refer to as "moral development"

    But the moral development stays the same. We always are 100% benevolent towards Self... and we are indifferent towards "other". That's always the case at every phase. 

    That doesn't' change. As long as we are in a state of ignorance about our inter-connection and oneness with others, we will continue to be an organism at war with itself.

    What changes is that we expand our identity, our consciousness, and our worldview to include those that would have been considered "other" in eras past.

    And we can interpret this on the surface as "moral development" or "overcoming evil".

    But the reality is that nothing really changed... except the fact that we've seen through the veils of our own ignorance to recognize the underlying oneness underneath the apparent sense of separation.

    So, societies only "morally develop" because society's expand from tribal cosmologies, to national cosmologies, to global cosmologies.

    It's just an aperture change of our scope of awareness which re-sensitizes us to the pain and harm we might have otherwise caused without that sensitivity.

    it's awakening heart wisdom towards that which spans beyond the scope of yourself as an individual or your family or community... or even your own species.

    Edit: Here's a video that I made on the topic of evil, as explored through the lens of the Genesis story in the Bible...

     

  21. Posted

    With the Tarot, it's chock full of archetypal symbolism.... just like fairy tales and myths have.

    And pulling cards is like creating a randomized archetypal visual mini-myth... as it allows you to reflect on the meanings that are relevant to your life.

    Some people apparently use it to tap into psychic phenomenon. But I'm not psychic, so I don't use them that way.

    Instead, I assume a sense of synchronicity to the cards and assume them to be relevant to me... and then, I try to find different angles of interpretation of how the cards relate together in the reading.

    And then, if that relationship between the cards reminds me of something that's happening in life, I will look back to the symbolism of the cards to see if the symbols and the relationship between them spark any insights or connections that are relevant.

    And I'll keep going back and forth between the symbolism in the cards, the relationship between the symbols, and the real-life dynamics that I'm experiences.

    And this can often reveal insights about the situation at hand that pure logical/rational thinking would not have produced.

  22. Posted

    2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

    It’s so abused it doesn’t even seems real.

    I would never let something like that happen to someone around me.

    You wouldn't necessarily know that another person is going through these things. Plus, it was pretty normalized that some low status kids just constantly got their asses handed to them by the other kids... and I was one of those kids, because I was sensitive and had a hard time adapting socially. 

    It was very easy to pick on me because I was weird and socially inept... and easy to get a rise out of me because I was sensitive. And I was short and always looked like I was a couple grades younger that I actually was.

    So, it was the perfect recipe for any kid with a sadistic impulse to come swooping in to poke the vulnerability... to give themselves a sense of power over someone else.

    And I would tend to just keep things to myself because I assumed that no one would be able to help me anyway nor did I feel empowered to do anything about it myself (anytime I did try to stand up for myself, I just embarrassed myself further and invited more ridicule)... and that it was incumbent upon me to just roll with the punches.

    My experience of school from Kindergarten through early 8th grade was like one of those dreams where someone is attacking you and you're trying to punch them... but the punch is ineffective because it's like your fist is moving through water.

    And I spent years and years trying to figure out a solution to this problem... which I thought lay in the ability to be "popular." I'd often spend my summers brain-storming about how I was going to turn things around for myself socially. It took me a long time to find a game plan that worked sustainably.

    But around the time I started high school, I eventually did figure out how to adapt socially once I leaned heavily into my alternative style and learned how to socialize and come across as normal/tough/nonchalant. I also developed a positive identity around being a super chilled out stoic person that never gets upset about anything... and who can always be the bigger person even If the other person is being an arsehole.

    And being non-reactive worked incredibly well... like a social version of Judo.

    And I became quite popular and commanded a lot of respect in the alt crowd when I was 14/15 as I went from shy awkward nerd girl that's an easy target for everyone to pick on (like Carrie from the movie) to being a relatively social and confident goth girl who dumb people were afraid of... and who would make tons of bold creative choices and didn't mind going against the grain.

    It's easier to make bolder choices when you're used to being widely reviled and pelted with rotten fruit, figuratively speaking. It inoculates you quite a bit to embarrassment and social scorn. 

    But I ended up disliking the popularity (after feeling like popularity was going to be my saving grace during the 9 years prior). So, I just withdrew from the crowds that wanted to be associated with me. And I just kept a moderate sized friend group after that.

  23. Posted

    3 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

    Why makes sense to think in archetypes? Isn't that also living in the mental world?

    If we're communicating with language, we have to be operating in the mental world. And that's all that an online forum affords us.

    But being able to intellectually recognize the resistance to the archetypal Feminine on the level of the mind, helps us learn of our blocks and enables us to figure out what we need to drop resistance to towards the end of integration.

    And because the issue is a lack of understanding about what integrating the Feminine means, many people (especially men) will continue to resist the integration of the Feminine... despite the fact that this is what is necessary to integrate to solve the most common problems that pop up on this section of the forum.

  24. Posted

    8 hours ago, AION said:

    This makes sense because nerds live in the mental world. Not in the physical world like women who have a good connection to their body and emotions. 

    Although it is helpful to think archetypically. These are all stereotypes. I know women who aren’t archetypical. 

    Currently I’m reading Ralston on suffering and he says most people are suffering because they don’t live in the physical, immediate and present. To live in the physical is to stay in touch with Mother Nature which is healing and nurturing. He doesn’t say that but it is my own understanding. 

    Yes, the "living in one's head" is an archetypally Masculine thing. This reads as nerdy.

    Yet culturally, the way we think about the Masculine (and what's attractive in men) is a guy who's really in tune with the physical world and in the moment... which means the guy is more Feminine integrated.

    I like to think of polarized Masculinity like a "brain in a jar"... and the polarized Feminine like a "blob on the ground".

    So, the most unintegrated man (or woman) who polarizes the most into the Masculine is a guy who operates robotically and like an algorithm.

    And the most unintegrated woman (or man) who polarizes the most into the Feminine is like an inert couch potato with a hoarded up house.

    And one can repress both.... and end up as a hyper nerdy robotic inert couch potato with a hoarded up house.

    That's why we really need integration of both.

    And the issue that I see with nerdy guys, is that they believe they're not polarized into the Masculine enough... so they keep trying to polarize themselves further and further into the Masculine (both archetypal and cultural).

    But all they need to do is drop resistance to the archetypal Feminine and a lot of those issues with socializing, connection, lack of bodily attunement, coming across as alien, and lack of presence will drop away.

    It will also give them an internal relationship to the Feminine, such that their desperation towards women drops... as they no longer feel a lack or a void where their own Feminine side once once.