Emerald

They will definitely get a taste of Trump. And it will be most people who are negatively impacted in some shape or form.

Definitely. When you or people you care about are directly impacted by things, it gives you a lot more perspective. And unfortunately, the average person will be affected directly by this administration.

Primary school ends at age 11 here too. It's from ages 5 to 11. (2nd grade is when you're 7/8 if that helps gives some context to the whole Tiffany story). I wouldn't put the Oedipal dynamic onto this dynamic. It's more like a God complex. And this God complex pattern caused me to feel really self-conscious because I felt like I was the center of the universe... as the main traumas I experienced were at age 3 when a child feels that they're the literal center of the universe. So, part of me stayed at age 3 and remained feeling the responsibility of being the center of the universe... and I was 100% stuck there until a few years ago. Now it's just 75% stuck at age 3. And there were quite a few situations at age 3 that were difficult to process that were likely the origin point of that. And I felt as a child, like I was the the center of the universe and that everyone was paying so much attention to me... and that even tiny mistakes that I would make would be hyper-focused on. But that sense of being hyper focused on wasn't the case a lot of the time... though my strong sensitive reactions would sometimes put me on people's radar and made me into a laughing stock, which reinforced the sense that I was this alien clownish center of the universe. Like one time (when I was 6 or 7) I was embarrassed because an older kid at my summer camp pointed out that I had snot in my nose... and I was so mortified that I ran into the middle of the room and screamed at the top of my lungs as I yanked out two big chunks of my hair. In my head, everyone in the room was super focused on the snot in my nose. And everyone now hated me because of it. So, I was overwhelmingly mortified, and I felt like I had just committed social suicide. So, that's why I had that strong reaction... as the stakes felt so high. But in reality, everyone was just really clueless as to why this random 7 year old just screamed at the top of her lungs and yanked out a bunch of her hair. I wasn't very socially graceful to say the least. There were definitely reasons why I was unpopular. And it really took me until age 13 to really figure out how to come across as socially normal. Similar to how autistic people learn to mask.... I had to do the same thing. I also had the belief that I was different than everyone else on the planet. It was feeling like a vulnerable alien... while everyone else is normal and invulnerable, and somehow possessing of more authority simply to take up space. But in my last three medicine journeys (I have done 1 per year for the past 5 years), it showed me what caused this dynamic. From early on (around age 3), I started to intuitively sense my parents' weaknesses. Though I couldn't articulate that to myself at the time. But there was the sense that I couldn't rely on them for support. And this caused me to feel like I had to be responsible for their well-being. And this gave me the sense of god-like responsibility and that have this supreme power to cause harm to them emotionally... and I saw them as Gods at that time. So, it was like having to the mother to Gods. And it gave me this sense of needing to be perfect (which meant being identical to my mom)... and that I need to do all the scary stuff alone. So, I started to feel like I needed to be my parents' parents... which later got extrapolated out to the whole world and feeling like I'm at the center of everything and responsible for everyone's feelings... and feelings about me. And this caused me to be hyper-attuned to others' feelings and thoughts. But I would also project worst case social scenarios because I felt so alone and disconnected as a child, and dealing with some pretty heavy overly intense feelings of terror and panic.

On that basis, your answer suffices. But these things only feel like an exaggeration if you're insulated from it all... and you may not personally care about anyone deeply who is in those other categories. And because of that, you're underestimating the impacts the decisions made by this administration will have on average people as you feel safe and protected from the worst impacts. And I know you see this perspective that you're entertaining as you being more objective and giving a more proportional reaction to the overall picture of things. But your perspective isn't actually doing that at all... as the trade off for good fortune is that it creates veils of ignorance that block harsher realities from you. And you have those veils in many categories: being from the USA with an American accent, being wealthy, being self-employed, being male, etc. And because of these veils of ignorance that come with good fortune, your perspective is skewing in the opposite direction of a disproportionate reaction (disproportionate under-reaction) because you are uniquely insulated from it compared to 90% of people. So, what seems like and is a balanced reaction to you is actually imbalanced from the perspective of the majority of people.

Certainly that will be a widespread effect if the market crashes, and it will affect a lot of people. But just be honest that you're only registering that danger because it may affect you personally... while the other ones, you don't have to worry about as much personally. So, the other consequences of the Trump presidency feel more "minor" to you because you don't really have to worry about them. I also want you to recognize that this is just denial when you're saying "Do not exaggerate the dangers." It's no exaggeration. And even if it were, it's WAY worse to undersell it than oversell it. And I notice that those who are in less vulnerable positions tend to undersell it because they are lacking in empathy towards those in more vulnerable positions. For them, politics is just something to debate about abstractly rather than something that impacts their own lives. And its in these ways that I'm glad that life has blessed me with enough financial struggles and strife to pop some of my idealistic bubbles. I'm personally the most worried that my husband (who has a Green Card) will also be on the chopping block because his status is still vulnerable in this administration even though he's here 100% legally. Who knows what kinds of systems they'll erode and what kind of laws they'll pass? They've already invoked the same law they did during the Japanese Internment. Most middle class Americans are spoiled on the current system. And they trust too much in the guardrails of the system and aren't grasping the precarious position that our country is in. There's way too much in the unsinkable ship fallacy. So, it isn't just undocumented immigrants that have to be concerned. There are already American-born citizens being detained who happen to have Spanish names. And there are visa-holders and permanent resident green card holders that have ended up being detained without the usual legal proections. And it isn't just deportation that's the worry for illegals and legals alike. It's in being sent to some detention facility for an indefinite period of time where human rights abuses are rampant. And they're talking about building these large camps to accommodate more people. So, we do have to worry. It's just the vulnerable status of being a permanent resident Greencard holder that makes you more likely to be a target. Also, I'm not as worried about getting an abortion personally (though the right to one is very important). I'm more worried about all the health risks to all women that happen when abortion laws are strict. Doctors wait until you're literally dying before taking the risk to give a life-saving abortion in order to avoid prosecution. So, every woman of child-bearing age is in a dangerous position with this current administration. And there have been women who have gotten into legal hot water for having a miscarriage. All of these may not make such a splash in people's lives who are already well-resourced or not in a vulnerable position. Like in the example of a woman needing to fly out for an abortion... that requires money. And having been poor, I certainly would not have been able to afford a trip out of the country... especially if I would have needed to do so on short notice. But it will 100% impact the bottom 25% of society in very tangible ways. And when the market crashes... it will get to 99% of people. -- Also, I'm just tired of having a consistently accurate read on the situation since 2015... and being told that I'm exaggerating and being unrealistic by people who are just too sheltered from the harsh realities of the world and human nature to know better. Like, a close guy-friend of mine who co-hosted a retreat with me the weekend prior to the election, got a bit cross with me for my strong anger reaction at Trump's re-election. And instead of operating from compassion and deeper understanding as I usually attempt to do, I threw up my arms and was like "They fucked around with my family. And now they're going to find out." I just needed to be angry at the people who voted for Trump.. or just didn't vote. But my friend thought I was being irrational. He is a permanent US resident Greencard holder from Canada... and he basically reads as a white American male. So, even though he's in a similar legal position as my husband, he's never been on the receiving end of any anti-immigrant sentiment as most people assume him to be American. But he refrained from voting because of the Gaza situation to vote his conscience. And I got a bit upset with him for not voting practically, especially since Trump will be worse for Gaza and said as much as he was campaigning. And he was pissed off at me for "exaggerating the danger". And he said "Trump is just saying that to throw red meat to his base." He was so sure that things wouldn't change much immigration-wise. And I just had a conversation with him a couple days ago. And he began the conversation by saying, "I have to admit, you were right. I'm currently terrified because I have to renew my paperwork in 2027." So, he's having to seriously consider moving back to Canada before then, which will separate him from his four children. And I didn't even feel like saying "I told you so." I just got mad at him, because it's like "Duh. Of course I'm right. Do you not understand people and systems?" But it's just because he was lulled into a false sense of security because he's a white guy with a good job... and didn't believe his own eyes and ears. I swear, since 2015, it's just been me observing a situation and talking about it accurately and people being like "Don't listen to what your eyes and ears are telling you!" And it just frustrates me to no end. I feel like Cassandra. But that's the thing with Fascism (or other authoritarian patterns)... every step of the way is people explaining stuff away and trying to lull you into a state of normalizing what shouldn't be normalized.

Careful... let's not feed into a divide and conquer. It can feel nice and ego-boosting to distance your own identity as "the mature moderate sensible leftist" from "those silly blue haired woke leftists with septum piercings". But that weakens your own cause. And instead of actually fighting together for economic justice and taxation of the rich... the "sensible leftists" spend all their revolutionary energy fighting wokeness. But it's all identity-stuff... and a desire to be "one of the good" leftists.

That's only true for you because you're not in a vulnerable position financially or otherwise. So, for you it's just internet noise because nothing changes. But before I had my business, we were on Medicaid. For a while we qualified for food stamps and I got WIC when my children were small. So, if we were still on Medicaid, we would have likely lost medical coverage without being able to afford a marketplace plan. And I was just thanking my lucky stars earlier today that I'm no longer in such a financially precarious position under this administration... and that I'm self-employed. So we can get out if we need to. Also, my mom and my sister (who live together because my sister mentally challenged) both get disability as their only income sources. So, there is a concern about what might happen if that is compromised by all this DOGE stuff. Also, for myself and my teenage daughter, I do have to worry about the state of reproductive healthcare as the stricter abortion laws makes it genuinely dangerous to even have a planned pregnancy. And my husband is a permanent resident green card holder. And we see all the fuckery that's happening and talks of mass deportation... and how green card holders and even native-born citizens of the US in a couple instances are being detained and sent to holding facilities. So, there's genuinely quite a lot to worry about if you happen to be in a financially precarious position or if you're an immigrant or if you're old or if you're a female of menstruating age. You just happen to be in none of those vulnerable categories. So, it's the same for you and just seems like internet noise.

That's a good one.

What I would say is to just focus on socializing in a more friendly way, and don't jump to asking anyone out straight away before a more flirtatious connection is established organically with one particular woman. Social circle works the opposite of pick-up in the sense that, it's important to come at it from a neutral platonic friendly place and to just be yourself. Otherwise, your interest will seem disingenuous or socially un-calibrated. So, just have fun and make friends... and if some organic feelings start to arise, don't jump into it too quickly. Let the feelings develop.

Yes, elementary school was when I felt the most like a social pariah because I didn't have enough social tools to navigate social situations. Part of that was just a projection of my own shame. But I was also teased a lot because I was very sensitive and not socially calibrated at all (partly because I was too aware of social consequences for my age, so I couldn't let myself be). And I was one of the least popular kids in my class. So, I always felt really desperate for friends.... which repelled them or gave them a leverage point over me. Like some kids would use that to boss me around because I had no sense of self-respect or boundaries because of my desperation for friendship. And I just felt like everyone was superior to me. The worst case was when I was in the 2nd grade, and I was at recess and sitting on the balance beam and sulking by myself about how I didn't have any friends. And this really manipulative girl named Tiffany came up and "befriended me". And that friendship lasted for a period of time (maybe a month or two). And she used to emotionally blackmail me and say "Do _____ or I won't be your friend anymore!" She wasn't the only female "friend" to do that to me. But her stipulations were the worst. And I think she may have been sexually abused at home, because it was usually something sexually inappropriate or sadistic that she was forcing me to do. She definitely had some serious issues. Around 8 years later, my best friend Shanna ended up going to juvi hall for bringing alcohol to school... and she met Tiffany in juvi. And I had already told her the Tiffany story years earlier, so she remembered her name. She said she was still a real psycho. One time she had me kick a male classmate in the balls under threat of "I won't be your friend anymore". One time she lifted up my dress in front of some other students. One time she tried to make me knock a book out of a kindergarteners hand (which I couldn't even make myself do). And there were a few other things. So, it was always about having me do or endure something over my boundaries... because she could sense that I was desperate for her friendship. And she could use "Do this or I won't be your friend anymore" as a means of having control over me. So, that's what elementary school felt like. It wasn't until I was in 8th grade that I figured out how to socialize as not to repel people. And then, high school was smooth sailing socially. I haven't really struggled socially since I was about 13. But before then it was an ABSOLUTE nightmare. I was also a romantically precocious child and had crushes since I was 3 years old. And my feelings were never reciprocated by the boys I liked. In reality it was because most kids are not even thinking like that yet. But childhood me, interpreted it as meaning that there's something fundamentally wrong with me and that I'm the ugliest person on the planet. And I used to fantasize about getting married as a very young child (between age 3 and age 6). But when I was in kindergarten (at age 5 or 6), after half of my life pining for romance and marriage, I remember crying in my bedroom that no one was ever going to want to marry me because I was ugly. And if some ugly old bald man wanted to marry me now (at age 5) that that would be my only opportunity for marriage and I'd have to take it then or leave it forever. And I had this assumption that all my classmates were already dating and that I was WAY behind them. Clearly this wasn't happening. But I almost needed to believe it was in order for my reality to feel like it matched my feelings. I also had another non-romantic version of this shame and feeling of inferiority where I imagined that, if I owned a Walmart, no one would come and shop at my Walmart just because I was the one that owned it. So, my childhood shame was REALLY out of control and it made me feel like a social pariah... and even project that onto situations where that wasn't actually happening at all.

You're welcome! It's definitely super important to build something that gets very valuable results for people. That's when things really pick up momentum-wise.

Thank you! I'm glad you found it insightful! It is difficult to track Shadow Work progress objectively as it's mostly an internal shift (that manifests in external changes). But I write notes and an action step at the end of each session and check back in at the beginning of the previous call. And I also ask people as they go if they notice any shifts or changes relative to the issue they're looking to change. But it's quite subjective. And it's not quite like fitness coaching or business coaching as it's a very non-linear process and doesn't have any kind of a to b structure. And I just do a single discovery call.... but I know some entrepreneurs that do two where they give a free demo first and then attempt to close on the second call.

That's something that you must choose relative to different facets of life. And that is also part of making sovereign choices. But if one gets caught up in victim's mentality, they give up their power to whichever person or group they're labeling as the villain in an "across the board" way.

Yes, Black Israelites believe that they were the original Jewish people that were the REAL descendants of the ancient Israelites. And of course, Nazism is the classic example of the mythologized past of the "ancient Aryan people". But these are common because it works on people by presenting them with a myth that makes those with a strong collective national identity feel superior just by belonging to that group... and enables them to feel collective grief and grievance at "them" who brought down the superior people.

Just keep in mind that power and responsibility always rise and fall together. And as responsibility grows... so does your power. And as you reject personal responsibility... you lose personal power. And as you project more responsibility onto others... they gain more power over you (psychologically and/or otherwise).

Sure. I don't track it too closely. And I don't do cold outreach because I have a YouTube channel. So, I don't have any data for the response rate as people just sign up for calls directly from my emails or videos. But my appointment show rate is probably about 65%. And then, about 20% of my appointments sign up. But it's getting easier now because this program for helping people overcome self-sabotage is one I've been doing for about a year. So, I'm getting more referrals. So, it's about 60% sign-up rate for referrals.

@stephenkettley I actually was just asked this by someone else. I've been working as a coach for the past 6.5 years. Here are the recommendations that I gave to the other person... "The main challenge with having a sustainable coaching practice is getting clients. I was able to make it work pretty easily because I have a YouTube channel with a decent-sized audience. And it's ideal to set up some kind way for many people to get free value from you... either through YouTube, social media, speaking gigs, etc. But there are tons of people who are making a living off of coaching who don't have that. Instead, they learn the following... Cold Outreach and Appointment Setting on social media or over the phone Sales (how to conduct and close discovery calls on Zoom) With those two things, what you need is to do a lot of volume (50+ cold outreaches per day). But be sure to mind the limits of any given social media app you use. You'll also want to build a signature coaching program that has a unique value proposition that solves a major pain point for people. For example, I help people overcome self-sabotage. Then, decide on the number of sessions in the coaching package (I do 13 one-hour 1-1 sessions in mine). And price it at the value of the value proposition, not for your time. I recommend a minimum price of $1500. I charge $2800 for my signature coaching program because it solves a major problem for people and they will be able to get far more value back than what was invested. This also helps when you get people on discovery calls as you can position your coaching offer as the thing that alleviates that pain point. Here's the order that I recommend doing things in... Figure out your value proposition for your coaching package - ie."I help (target audience) go from (pain point) to (desired state) so that (positive consequences of being at the desired state and away from the pain point)." Figure out how many sessions and other things that your coaching package will include and what the price will be Try it out on family and friends for free Do cold outreach to find your first 5 clients to join at a special beta price (half off is good) You'll need to learn cold outreach, appointment setting, and how to conduct discovery calls Iterate on the program based on the feedback of those 5 clients Do lots of volume (50-100+ outreaches per day) with cold outreach Continue to improve your sales skills Ideally - create a YT channel, social media account(s), or some other way for people to find you and get free value from you Get those people on an email list, so that you can send them information about your offers and get them on discovery calls"

@Majed I think you must be giving off some desperate vibes when you're doing pick-up. Women can easily sense that you're coming with an agenda that you're holding onto too tightly. Instead, you would probably get a lot more success if you just learn to socialize in general and make some friends (male and female). The more well-resourced you are with your social circle, the less you'll come off as desperate and needy. Think about social connection like it's water. Now, if you already have plenty of water, you can be fairly casual about your relationship with water. You don't have to worry about it because you know it's there. And you're well-resourced. But if were out in the desert for 2 days with no water with zero clue on when you'd get water next... you'd be freaking out about water and feeling so desperate for it. Right now, you're probably in the latter state... where you're not socially well-resourced. And so, you're putting so much pressure on making pick-up work out. And it's probably coming across in a way that repels because of the desperation. It's sort of like me in elementary school when I had no friends. I got SUPER desperate about it... and that desperation repelled people even more.

Yes, that is true that MAGA has the Fascist Golden Age structure of "We were once great, but we fell. So, we need to make us great again!" What I mean is that our Fascist mythos is more based on vague ideas about the 1950s, which is something we have more information about. There's an idealization and a super-imposition of a mythos that intertwines with the pop-culture of that time. But the American "Make the empire great again" story doesn't involve outlandish ideas like "the ancient Americans built the pyramids"... but only because we hang our ultranationalist stories on more modern events that we have less mystery around. The closest thing to that is in Mormonism where they believe that the Garden of Eden was located in America.

@NewKidOnTheBlock Hey! I was reading through this thread, and I found my name! I get that it's not fun to have something pointed out about yourself that's a "flaw". But victim's mentality will genuinely bring your life down in so many ways. So, it's actually good to become conscious of it if there's a patterns of feeling like "'x group' is responsible for my unhappiness"... regardless of of whether x group is men, women, construction workers, or furries. etc. It's a subtle way of offloading both personal responsibility and personal power... and then getting to wallow in self-pity because "the villain group is causing me strife." But it just steals your power from you... and it will make it harder for you to connect with people if you're seeing others as the villains of your story.

The US doesn't really have that too much. But it's not because we outgrew it or something. I'm sure that if such a narrative were fed to nationalist-types in a drip-fed propaganda kind of way, they'd lap it right up. I just think it's harder to do when you're a multi-ethnic country... and a young one at that. If you know the starting point of a people OR it's really clear that there's little blood relation between the people, it's harder to super-impose that kind of stuff onto their history.

But you forget... that while that may be true, they were only the lowly stone masons in my family's employ, who drew up all the blue prints for all the great monuments and commissioned all of them.

Apt

That's interesting. I had assumed that all older countries have a group of hyper-nationalist Fascist-types dreaming up all sorts of wild stories like that. But it then causes me to wonder... is it just because the outlandish story places that have that have a fuzzier history, or one that isn't well-taught in schools?

That doesn't surprise me at all. I'm sure that it's in every country that's 500+ years old.