Emerald

My experience with men has been that most of them need a decent amount of time to recover in order for them to be ready to go again. That’s what I’m counting as part of the refractory period. And by ready that doesn’t just mean in terms of energy. It often means in terms of arousal and sexual appetite as well. So, the woman getting on top wouldn’t really solve that issue if the man is in a state of sexual satiety. But either way, it’s important that she doesn’t pressure him into having more sex than he feels comfortable having.

I think he means that she wants sex before the refractory period is complete.

Now, she may just have a high sex drive. In which case, you’ll have to be clear about your boundaries and not feel too obligated to give her what she wants all the time. But it’s also possible that she’s expressing herself that way because women are often consciously or subconsciously under the impression that all/most men have a super high sex drive and care about sex most of all. This is really common in media tropes. And there are plenty of men who fit the bill or seem to fit the bill. So, because of this, many women genuinely believe that men are only capable of valuing women for sex… and that women have no other type of value beyond their sexuality in men’s eyes. So, hyper-sexual behavior in women can often be a bid for love. It wouldn’t be unheard of for a woman to behave in a hyper-sexual way to try to entertain/please the man in a bid to be valued, needed, and loved. And this conditioning can go deeper than she’s consciously aware of. So, even if you say you’re not feeling it right now… she may not believe you (because of her views about men being hyper-sexual and only caring about sex). And furthermore see may see sex as her only outlet to be valued by you, even if that’s totally not the case. And if this is true for her, you may tell her that you just want to cuddle and reassure her that you love and care for her even when you’re not having sex. It could be the most important thing for her to hear, if she can receive it.

Great interview to watch for anyone who wants to get a feel for Marianne’s political stances.

I just finished reading the book “How Fascism Works” And I wanted to share the main components of Fascism… mostly because it can be important to spot these warning signs. And most people don’t know the full scope of what Fascism entails when asked to define it. Humanity has had 49 genocides in the past 50 years. So, education is one of the best preventatives. So, here are the components of Fascism… The Mythic Past - Fascists believe in an idealized mythic past for their nation. And they view ethnicity and nation as the primary identity. And with the Mythic Past, it’s the notion that WE used to be great… but then THEY came along and destroyed OUR greatness. And WE will defeat THEM and be great again. Propaganda - It’s difficult to sell hatred and genocide to the majority of people. So, they cloak the goals of ethnic cleansing and genocide in idealistic propaganda. They might sell their movement as necessary for achieving popular goals like freedom. Anti-Intellectual - In Fascism, the the Mythic Past is the foundation. But this myth is an idealized and untrue imagining of the past. And so, this puts Fascism directly at odds with expertise and higher education. So, it is common for Fascists to spread the notion that institutions of higher learning are propaganda machines that are designed to undermine the “truth” of the Mythic Past. Unreality - Dovetailing off the last point… reality and truth is very threatening to Fascism because Fascism is rooted in myth. So, the Fascist must go to war with truth itself to preserve that myth. And so empiricism is something Fascist movements seek to undermine. They try to simultaneously give the sense that there is no such thing as truth… just differing opinions… while also claiming that their mythos is the only truth. It depends on which suits them in the moment. Hierarchy - Fascism subscribes to the notion of absolute hierarchies to justify inequalities. It has the notion that WE are superior to THEM based mostly off of the mythic foundation. Though Fascists might also use cherry-picked science and use Social Darwinism to add a more rational facade to their emotional attachment to the belief in absolute hierarchy. And this gets used as the justification for why WE get to exploit/harm/kill THEM. Victimhood - A big part of Fascist propaganda is the convince the dominant ethnic group that they are victims or potentially victims of minority ethnic groups. So, Fascism constructs collective victim narratives about how the other groups are stealing all the jobs, leeching off the system… and pillaging and raping… and otherwise degrading the society. Law and Order - Dovetailing off of the victim narrative constructed in Fascism, there is also the promise to “restore” law and order and end the victimization caused by THEM. And this is typically one of the selling points of paternalistic authoritarian Fascistic leaders to say “Hey… you may not agree with some of my views. But you need me to take control to protect you from THEM” Sexual Anxiety - The notion of the patriarchal familial ideal is central to the Fascistic mythos where the authoritarian father rules over the land, and the man rules over his wife and children. And the notion of absolute hierarchy also comes into play with this. So, one of the ways to malign THEM is to spread narratives that the men of the other ethnicities/nationalities are savage rapists looking to defile OUR pure unspoiled women. This also comes with an underlying fear of OUR women preferring THEIR men and spoiling the bloodline with miscegenation. Rural over Urban (Sodom and Gomorrah) - Fascism tends to present its rhetoric as very pro-rural and very anti-urban. This is because cities are more cosmopolitan and diversity is the norm there. And that weakens people’s susceptibility to Fascist rhetoric against THEM. But in rural areas, there are very many of US and very few of THEM. And it becomes easier to malign THEM to people who don’t interact much with THEM. So, Fascist rhetoric presents cities as cesspools of miscegenation and degeneracy. And the false notion is floated that the funding for cities comes primarily out of the pockets of those in rural areas (often framed as a handout for THEM), when in fact the opposite is the case as tax dollars taken in from cities tend to flow outward. Arbeit Macht Frei - Arbeit Macht Frei means “Work shall set you free” in German. And this motto was on the signage of many concentration camps. In Nazi Germany, one of the reasons they gave for rounding up Jews is the notion that Jews have lots of money that they didn’t properly work for and essentially stole from the hard-working German people. This rhetoric eventually became the rationale for why Jews needed to be sent to labor camps. So, a lot of Fascist rhetoric frames the situation as THEY are getting special handouts and privileges that THEY didn’t work for, while WE got everything by the merits of OUR work and the sweat of OUR brow. And there is also a push to punish THEM for stealing from US. I hope this is helpful to all who want to learn about Fascism.

There are certainly women with self-esteem issues. And they can manifest as excessive make-up. But women, as a whole, are pretty aware that there are huge problems with trying to fit some prescription of the ideal Feminine... even if they are wearing lots of make up for self-esteem reasons. Women as a whole are generally very leery about pressures to fit traditional gender norms because of women’s lib and because a woman loses a lot more than she wins if she succeeds at fitting to those norms. But men as a whole, haven’t had a men’s lib and many have the illusion that fitting the image of the ideal Masculine is what will validate their lives.

You don’t actualize yourself by pretending to be the ideal Masculine image. Actualization comes from the inside. You can only develop what is already there.

Yes! All of this is exactly right. Many men think they have dating problems or women problems or Masculinity problems. But they don’t have any of these problems. They have Shame problems that disguise themselves as problems with dating, women, and Masculinity. And they try to throw pick up at it. Or they try to self-improve in other ways. They try to fit their image of the ideal man. And it turns into a constant attempt to fix and become perfectly Masculine to absolve themselves of feelings of Shame. And culture tells men that being admired by men and desired by women will absolve them of that deep Shame and validate their existence. And so, they seek to become the ideal Masculine image in their mind. And they seek the approval and validation of women. They view women as holding the key to their redemption and existential validity. And when a man isn’t as successful with women as he feels he needs to be in order to be valid, all of those feelings of internal Shame turn to outward bitterness and blame. And women are scapegoated as the sole impediment to him resolving his own Shame.

This is a silly comparison. Google isn’t going to ban your account for a picture of a cut finger. The reason why they banned the guy’s account is because they thought he had child porn on it.

How do you know it doesn’t have any depth if you haven’t watched it? I posted it 30 minutes ago, and you replied 17 minutes ago… and it’s a 1.5 hour video

No… romance is just one vehicle for emotional connection among many vehicles. Emotional connection is much broader than romance. And I find other vehicles more effective… like having deep conversation and spending time doing day to day things together. Romance is nice here and there. Like, “Surprise! I brought you some flowers and some lingerie.” And it can add some spice to the connection. But if it happens frequently, it loses its charm. The biological reality is that constant romance and excitement is not sustainable in a long term relationship. Out bodies are wired to get those excited feelings only in the first three months. Then it subsides to something deeper and more gratifying… but also not as exciting. Relationship is very ordinary like that.

She’s not really pitting herself against Biden in her rhetoric. And she’s said that, if she doesn’t win, she will do everything in her power to make sure Trump or DeSantis aren’t elected. So, I don’t anticipate that being an issue. I’m fact, she may have a Bernie Sanders effect and inspire some non-voters to get out to the polls for her, who may stay for Biden.

Great political ad!

George Bush Sr. still won re-election. So, Pat Buchanan’s run didn’t hurt him. And I don’t suspect that this will create an issue for Biden in the general… especially because of the negative voter turnout to avoid a DeSantis or Trump presidency. But either way, democracy is democracy. And the political system benefits from incumbent politicians being primaried.

The word Fascist literally translates to “bundle of sticks” and it’s meant to symbolize strength. So, I’m pretty sure Fascia and Fascist have the same root etymology. I’ll censor this next part…. The word fa**ot also means bundle of sticks. And it’s why cigarettes were called f*gs. So, all of these words share a common etymology and meaning. I always was amused that Fascist and Fa**ot refer to the same thing… and how much a Fascist would hate that similarity the very most.

Romance is nice… but emotional intimacy and connection is way more important to a woman. And romance is really only valuable to women because it is a vehicle for emotional connection. And a relationship isn’t meant to be exciting and romantic most of the time… it’s meant to be calming and grounding. It’s meant to feel like home. After the first three months of relationship, the hot exciting hormones subside and switch to deeper, calmer, and more addictive hormones that are geared toward long term pair bonding. And romance is the icing on the cake, but emotional connection is the cake itself. If the emotional connection isn’t there, there might as well not even be a relationship. This is what often makes a woman want to leave when she feels alone in her marriage. Without emotional connection, it’s just two people sitting in a room together. Many men are okay with this because they don’t tend to value emotional connection as much as women do. But most women can’t ignore this lack of connection. It’s a very deep need. Like imagine a relationship where there was no physical or sexual contact. Think of how starved a man would feel in that situation. Now multiply that starvation by 3, and this is what women feel like in a relationship with no emotional connection.

Thanks for the video recommendation. I’ll keep it in mind in case any of my coaching clients want to try it for Anima integration.

Maybe. But it isn’t typical for other candidates to run in a presidential primary against an incumbent. What Marianne is doing in running in the Democratic primary against the current Democratic Party president is very uncommon. But perhaps other outsiders will jump into the race since she has. And that honestly wouldn’t be a terrible thing either. More choices = more Democracy Edit: The last time an incumbent president was primaried by someone running as a member of the same political party was when Pat Buchanan primaried Bush Sr. like 30+ years ago.

The thing that I’m wondering is if you’re interpreting something in their actions that isn’t there. The reason I say this is because you added the descriptor “cheap loser” to yourself and ascribed a motive to them on that basis. This indicates to me that you see yourself as a cheap loser and are projecting that same judgment into the minds of women. And then, if they don’t respond affirmatively (or possibly even try to tease/flirt with you) you interpret the situation as them treating you like crap and feeling insulted by a “cheap loser” being interested in them. It just seems like you projecting your shame and self-judgment onto them.

Others in the establishment won’t run in the primary because Biden is the incumbent president. So, it would be unwise for establishment Democrats to run against Biden because it would cause them career problems.

She’s only running against Biden as a Democrat in the Democratic PRIMARY. Biden and Marianne are competing to be the Democratic nominee. And whoever the Democratic nominee will be, will be going head to head against the Republican nominee. So, she can’t possibly act as a spoiler. She’ll either be the candidate or she won’t. It will either be Marianne or Biden going to the general against DeSantis or Trump. And as long as she doesn’t run 3rd party in the general, she literally can’t act as a spoiler. And she’s not stupid. She wouldn’t run third party in the general to act as a spoiler to Biden.

I’m not over-estimating the size of the progressive base. I said 15-20% of registered Democrats. That’s probably about 5-8% of general society. I think that’s a fair estimate…. and probably a bit of an underestimate given that Bernie was very popular. Progressives will like her because progressives pay attention to policy. And she has similar policy proposals to Bernie. And you’re being a bit closed minded here. You have a very conscious candidate running for president that supports many of the policy positions that YOU agree with. And because running for president is such a high profile endeavor, this will create a catalyst for forward movement in that direction. And that catalyzing force will be stronger the more support that she gets. So, it’s not foolish to vote for her in the primary… ESPECIALLY if what you say is true that she isn’t going to win the primary. If you genuinely think she has no chance and Biden is such a shoo-win, then it’s foolish for you not to vote for her in the primary. In fact, it would be incredibly foolish not to vote for her in the primary, if you’re a person who’s in favor of progressive policies and societal evolution. Even if she loses the primary, supporting her is a vote to shift the Overton Window in a more conscious direction. You’d be throwing away an opportunity. Consider not doing that. What could it hurt?

I don’t buy those statistics. They might be sampling in a way where they’re more likely to survey single men and non-single women. Otherwise, it just doesn’t make sense. Most women statistically are straight, monogamous, and dating men who are an average of 2 years older than them. So, either the sampling is skewed… or women are more likely to report “situationships” and FWB as relationships while men do not. Also, even if those stats were true, how does that imply that women aren’t interested in average men? Just look around at the world and you’ll find tons of average men with girlfriends and wives. Also women develop feelings for average guys because women tend to be more adept at seeing beauty in the ordinary. It’s like all the little personality tells come through in his appearance and you can read so much about him and his energy. Women are not typically idealists as it pertains to dating. And if they are, it’s a piss poor strategy for finding a partner because you’re looking only for on paper traits. For most women, it’s much more about feelings than it is about men matching some arbitrary standard. Though of course, developing one’s self can make a person more attractive in a general sense. Also as a side benefit… if a man is average in looks, it let’s us be the peacock in the relationship. It would be hard to feel desirable in a relationship with Brad Pitt or someone like that because he’d be the peacock. My rule is that I have to be the peacock. Otherwise, the relationship just doesn’t feel good. Edit: I think the main issue is that men have a hard time understanding what women find attractive about them because men generally don’t find those things attractive. So, they have to understand male attractiveness and female attraction through the lens of what makes logical sense to be attracted to. And they create these narratives about women only being interested in the guy at the top of some hierarchy. But female attraction is not logical. It’s emotional. And it’s just the joy of feeling a man’s personality and virtues shine through his appearance and gestures. All the other stuff is just logistics or spice.