Emerald

But how will the people who are repressing their feminine side come to realize it if they don’t allow themselves to take this perspective? The thing is that lots of people (especially men) are out of touch with their feminine side. And not only does this create tons of problems in their personal life… on a global scale it is responsible for everything from wealth inequality to global warming. Our suppression of the feminine is making us totally out of tune with nature. When we are disconnected with the feminine side, we become disconnected from our emotions, our bodies, and the Earth. And in order for things to get better for the individual and society alike, we must recognize the importance of integration of the feminine.

The main efficacy of knowing about feminine/masculine is subtractive… not additive. If a person is aware of the masculine and feminine, they can see more easily where their resistances are. I used to be very repressive of my feminine side. But I was also of the mindset that masculine/feminine were mere social constructs. So, I didn’t recognize my bias towards my masculine side and against my feminine side. Once I gained insight into the nature of masculine and feminine as well as the traits associated with them in an esoteric sense, I was able to recognize and drop my resistances and judgments towards the feminine. So, the efficacy is in the dropping of the blocks and resistances that people’s culturally ingrained ideas about there gender create in order to allow that which is natural in a person to be expressed regardless of feminine or masculine polarity. That said, the general effect will be that people will be in tune with their natural energies. And for most men, that means they will be mostly masculine and some feminine and vice versa for women. But we get there subtractively by allowing whatever happens to be there simply to be. We allow ourselves to come into our natural alignment when we stop resisting one side of our polarity or the other.

Masculine/Feminine is a very useful dichotomy. But at a certain point, all dichotomies collapse. It’s just like up and down. There’s not really such a thing as an absolute up or down. But that false distinction is very useful to us indeed… lest we decide to take a long walk off a short cliff. But within everything the mind could label as masculine there is the feminine, and within everything the mind could label as feminine, there is the masculine. They are two sides to one coin.

The thing to understand is that Leo’s feminine side is just as much of a woman as I am. Functionally, a man is part woman. And you can tell a lot about the relationship a man has to his inner woman by his feelings and attitudes toward women in general. So women who understand this truth can usually tell when a man has issues with his feminine side and to what degree because that man will be reacting to the inner-woman the same way that he behaves towards women in general. As within, so without. It’s very obvious when a man has issues with his feminine side.

Thank you ? If a woman suppresses her masculine side, there is a dualism that springs about. The dualism denotes disintegrated masculine in the sense of lack of Divine Masculine and the Shadow Masculine taking a possessing role. The same dualism is true for men who repress the feminine. They tend to express Shadow Feminine qualities such as bitterness and pettiness as well as a lack of Divine Feminine qualities like social acuity and emotional intelligence. So, for women with no integration of the masculine… On one hand, with the Lack of Divine Masculine, she might become whiny, fretful, vague, flaky, emotional overwhelm, directionless, and passive. And overall she’ll be overwhelmed by details and will not be able to see the big picture. On the other hand, when the Shadow Masculine is possessive she can become irritable, domineering, controlling, smothering, high maintenance, and passive aggressive. The thing that’s lacked of Divine Masculine is objectivity and emotional distance. When a woman is disintegrated from the masculine her emotions overwhelm her and she either succumbs to vagueness or to hyper-protective harshness. And this lack of distance makes it difficult for her to be in touch with her emotions without getting overwhelmed and it prevents her from being receptive and intuitive. And either way she becomes quite stiff.

With regard to Leo, he’s a mixed bag. But I’d have to say that he leans more towards disintegration of the feminine than toward feminine integration. He’s just a bit hung up on the masculine. But I can see that he’s done some work in that area and he theoretically understands the value of integrating the feminine as a man. But overall, I would say that his audience is a bit of a mirror of where he’s at in his relationship to his feminine side.

The men who are the most hung up on being masculine tend to be the most repressive of their feminine side. And this puts them out of alignment with their masculine power. I’m not trying to be unkind. but having read your posts, you are in the group of forum members that sprung to mind while I was writing this post.

Thank you! ?

It’s not subjective. The biggest distortion that occurs on this forum is repression of the feminine side. You can tell if you take a peek at the dating/relationship section. You may not recognize it when you see it, so I’ll mention some symptoms of feminine repression below. And you’ll notice many of these popping up on the forum. Intellectualization Spiritual bypassing Ineffectiveness in birthing an idea into reality Lack of emotional intelligence The mind is seen as superior to the heart, which creates a lack of clarity and non-directionality Decisions are made from a place of pain avoidance or abstract “shoulds” and “should nots” All things can be rationalized- devil’s advocate Difficulties with women Misogyny and bitterness Trying to escape reality Anti-Earthiness Valuing the ideal over the real Coldness Competition to prove one’s worth Lots of judgment around holding up a certain standard of masculinity Men policing each other’s masculinity Seeing social isolation as a virtue Macho posturing - aping masculinity Prickliness

Thank you for recommending my channel!

Great analogy. Lots of people nowadays (especially men but women too) lack integration of the feminine and end up ungrounded and disconnected from reality… and from their emotions. Without the feminine, we’re all a bunch of balloons filled with nothing but hot air.

No, it’s not that extreme. The leaning back that women can do is far more subtle. But the pick up strategies you mentioned might work because they get a guy to shift into his feminine so that women shift into masculine pursuer mode. So, the polarity flips and still creates attraction. And that way, she pursues him and not the other way around. And this gets him access to easy sex because he has the feminine magnetism working for him. An example of a man using feminine energy to get women would be someone like Dan Bilzerian who uses feminine energy and being to get lots of sex with women. He just cultivates a social circle (also feminine) where there are more women around than men. And this creates an environment where women shift into their masculine pursuer mode to get male attention just because there’s more competition. But most women won’t really be satisfied when they’re in masculine pursuer mode. They’ll just get hooked on the man in his feminine being mode and run themselves into the ground… all while not arousing the deeper drive for love and commitment in the man. But if the woman remains in her feminine power and leans back a little, she creates a space for the man to pursue. And this creates the feminine magnetism. If a woman leans forward into her masculine pursuer mode, it will repel men who are in their masculine pursuer mode and she’ll get attention from low investment men who are fine with hanging out for a bit and having sex… but won’t invest any deeper than that.

? Thank you!

I feel like this would be bad psychologically for you in particular. I’m sure there are people who feel okay with sex work. But I get the sense that this decision would be made from a place that hurts you. You may end up feeling very objectified and it might aggravate your self-esteem issues.

I don’t think that’s transphobic because it relates to other factors than them being trans. My assumption of transphobia would only come if someone was really hellbent on expressing a disinterest in trans-people. It’s not the disinterest in itself because that can come up with regard to factors of compatibility. It’s just sort of a feeling I get when people go out of their way to express sexual disinterest in trans-people that I’d assume that. But for me, having more kids with a future partner is also something that I wouldn’t want to take completely off the table until I’m past 35. I probably won’t have any more children. And I’m truly okay if I don’t. But I also wouldn’t want to take the option off the table quite yet. So, I might also be hesitant to start a relationship with a trans man for that reason. Yet again, dating a trans man or infertile man might save me from the ambivalence and my tendency to toggle between baby fever and the “my womb is retired” mindset. Part of me is like “Yeehaw… empty nesting with two adult children at age 43!” The other part of me is like “Awww… babies.” So, I’m going to imagine that my choice in partner would likely nudge me out of my ambivalence in one direction or the other.

An insight that I had at a recent plant medicine ceremony was that, underneath everything (even the most bitter hatred and prejudice) that all human beings longed to love and receive love from each other. There was a desire to be a human family. And it contextualized a lot of things for me. I could see that men really wanted to love and be loved by women… which I’ve had my doubts for obvious reasons. And that it’s the desire for love but feeling deeply unlovable that’s led to this culture of objectification and bitterness towards women. So, men emphasize the aspects of their own sexuality that make them feel more in control and less vulnerable. And they try to pretend that the desire to love and be loved isn’t there… perhaps to the point that they fool themselves. Basically it’s a certain type of avoidance strategy that keeps them detached in order to avoid the vulnerability of loving a woman. And it was clear that most men are playing out some form of this avoidance pattern… in varying degrees. Some very extreme and others more mild.

So you do agree with me! It’s my exact point that the male strategy and female strategy are different. Men are more objective in their attractions and women are more subjective in their attractions. And because men are too caught up in their own agenda, they begin only seeing female sexuality as a projection of their own sexuality. And so they project their own objectivity onto women. But where you are wrong is in believing that this is irrelevant to the male strategy. There are so many men who are insecure BECAUSE they just see women as more selective men. But women are not selective primarily based on object factors. Subjective attraction plays a much bigger role. And if a man realizes this, he can drop the projection onto women.

As I’ve said many times before on this thread, men are wise to develop themselves along the lines of objective attractiveness factors so that they don’t run into women’s dealbreakers. And it can also help them in terms of knowing how to escalate things as well. So, as I’ve said, it’s the best strategy for men to use the leverage that the objective element of female sexuality provides them. But the issue becomes where the man mixes up the tool and the truth as one and the same. When a man only has a hammer, he begins seeing everything as a nail. And this is one of the biggest psychological issues that so many men are dealing with in the current era. So like the hammer, developing along the lines of objective male attractiveness is a very useful tool. And it’s wise to learn to use it well. But when you practice with the hammer, be very careful not to get a distorted view of the truth of female sexuality just because that distorted view fits your tools better. Know the reality of the situation and the efficacy and limitations of your tools for responding to that reality. The hammer is useful sometimes but useless other times. The truth is that female sexuality is primarily subjective. And that means, no matter how much you’ve grown in terms of objective attractiveness (and how much you’ve developed your “hammering skills”) it doesn’t guarantee an attraction. And it’s a blessing to know this because there are tons of men out there who believe that female sexuality is objective. And so, they feel like “Why would a woman want me when she could have Chad?” or “I have to change my entire personality so that women like me.” Or they just get so afraid that women are the objective arbiters of male attractiveness and worth that they avoid women altogether. So, even though I’m not giving men an objective attraction strategy (which is far better served by developing one’s self along objective lines)…. I am sharing the truth that will set them free of so many insecurities around women. That is, if they listen and integrate this truth into their framework. When a man really realizes that there’s very little that’s objective about female sexuality, then he can experience rejection without it meaning anything about his objective level of attractiveness or worth.

You’re working very hard here to say that the perspective I’ve shared is just a social construct and a matter of semantics and that that there’s no fundamental difference between the way women and men get attracted. But I am sharing an observable truth about the subjective nature of female sexuality. I’ve watched myself go through this process so many times from the meta perspective. And I’ve seen other women do the same, albeit from the outside. And you’ll notice that there are no women on here contradicting me and saying that I’m generalizing. It’s only some of the men who are adamant that what I’m saying is false. And the reason why is because they don’t want to feel powerless to women. They want to feel like all aspects of female sexuality have levers of control. And so, if they can frame female sexuality purely through the lens of the objective and non-mysterious, they can “solve it” and FEEL a lot more in control. And this enables them to cope with the sense of powerlessness and insecurity they feel in relation to women and the false images they project onto us. And just be honest with yourself for a moment. The only reason why you’re so adamant about proving me wrong is because what I wrote made you feel powerless and insecure. It’s not about anything other than that. These truths feel threatening to you. And it’s easier to write off any non-user-friendly element of female sexuality as construct or falsehood than it is to integrate that truth into your worldview. But your dating life will be so much less stressful once you do. The subjective element is much friendlier than the objective element.

Thank you ☺️

I’d imagine so. There are trans men who I’ve seen on the internet who are really attractive and masculine to where I wouldn’t really know they were trans unless they told me. Though it might not be sexually compatible in the long run because I strongly prefer the sexual dynamic of being penetrated by a penis. And only some trans men have had bottom surgery to make that possible. But otherwise, I could see the relationship just feel like the usual hetero dynamic that I tend to prefer in relationships. Now, if a trans man didn’t pass, I’m not sure if that attraction would arise as I haven’t been in the situation. But it’s in the realm of possibility. Also if a person isn’t attracted to any given trans-person, it’s not transphobic. But if a person has “won’t date trans people” as a hallmark of their named sexual preference, I will probably assume that they’re transphobic just for specifying.

You’re projecting a lot of things onto my post. You CAN improve along objective lines. And this will help you get better with women because you won’t hit their dealbreakers and you’ll be able to elicit the sexual responses that come from the objective component of female sexuality. And so you have tools to work with. The issue becomes that, when a man only has a hammer, that everything starts looking like a nail. And in this case, your hammer is your ability to make yourself more attractive along objective lines. But this doesn’t mean that female sexuality is a “nail”. There is a “nail”component to female sexuality that your hammer can work on. But that’s not the only component of female sexuality. It isn’t even the main component. And trust me when I say that that’s great news for all men. Otherwise, it’d be pretty hellish for you guys because women would only ever be interested in the most objectively attractive men. It is women’s subjective attraction element that enables her to become attracted to a man’s humanity. But you must develop yourself as a human being and along objective lines so that you don’t hit her dealbreakers.

?? ?