Emerald

My view is that the primary Shadow vibration that undergirds Leo and his audience is a feeling of inadequacy and lack of self love. I don’t exempt anyone from his audience of this vibration. I also possess it. So it’s easy to spot. Many people seek personal development to get away from not feeling good enough and feeling unlovable. And while Leo himself is not an Incel and he is consciously against the idea of Inceldom… he holds many of the same self-hating and hierarchical views that contribute to the philosophy of Inceldom. Leo and Incels are both playing the same game. It’s just that Leo and many in his audience have a strong sense of self- efficacy and can keep themselves winning the game. So they perceive that they can win the game… while Incels don’t. The women who hold this vibration on here tend to lead out into lots of ambition and intellect that never feels appreciated. We also play a similar game, though the rules are different. But it’s likewise a strong attempt to escape the feminine stigma and label of inferiority. We have also learned that we have to prove our lovability through what we do. The men on here tend to push the feminine away from themselves in hopes of not succumbing to feelings of masculine inadequacy. That’s why women on here are the recipients of the sexism which comes from a big collective chip on the shoulder of many of the men here… as there is a desperate attempt to banish the feminine in themselves. And this further aggravates the wounds in women associated with feeling under-appreciated, unlovable, and inferior… because they orient to us the way that they orient to their own feminine side. And it is because the men here ( in varying degrees) feel unlovable and inferior and too feminine and not masculine enough. And when they see ambitious women who excel at the masculine, it makes them feel even more so inferior. But it’s really clear that it all roots down to lack of self-love in varying degrees… and a feeling that everyone is trying to out-masculine one another to get away from feelings of feminine inferiority.

I’ve noticed through my interactions on the forum that there are many misconceptions about masculinity, femininity, and polarity in general. And I notice that it backfires on a lot of the guys on here. So, I’m going to share an insight to help clear some things up. The insight is that the feminine and masculine always go together. They are two sides to one coin and they always occur together in all living and non-living systems. So, to engage in systems thinking, we are wise to recognize the interplay between the masculine and feminine. All systems, including the system that is the human personality, have the masculine and feminine. And the masculine and feminine are always joined. And because of this, we can’t repress one side without diminishing the strength and efficacy of the other. So it’s counter-intuitive, but a man who wants to get more in touch with his masculinity will not be able to do so if he’s in resistance to his feminine side. And this is because all masculine qualities have many feminine components. Here’s an example… Let’s say that a man wants to develop his leadership skills and personal sovereignty. Overall, if we paint with broad strokes, these qualities of leadership and personal sovereignty are masculine principled qualities. But the thing to realize about personal sovereignty is that it requires us to be deeply in touch with our emotions to know what we want and don’t want, what we like and don’t like, and what we stand for and what we don’t stand for. So, it is literally impossible to be in your own personal sovereignty AND be out of touch with your own emotions. Your emotions are the root of your sovereignty. And emotions are, in broad strokes, a feminine principled domain. So, in this instance and many others, connection to the feminine is a prerequisite for getting in touch with certain elements of the masculine. And without developing a healthy relationship to the feminine, certain aspects of the masculine simply won’t be able to be expressed. The feminine is the soil that masculinity grows from and vice versa. So, the feminine and the masculine always go together. And you can’t exalt one while resisting the other.

Do you want to be a wife and mother right now? Or do you just feel behind the curve? If it’s the latter, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You will find much more compatible men who will probably be better fathers if you let your intuition and natural desire motivate you towards relationship. Also, if you’re in your early 20s, you still have over a decade left to go before your fertility starts to really decline. So, you don’t have to rush the marriage and baby thing right this second. Now, I got together with my husband at age 20, became a mom at 22, and got married at 24. But my husband and I have been separated for a couple years, though we still live together and co-parent our kids. And we split up in part because he and I are not really on the same page anymore. I really didn’t know what I needed to feel good in a relationship back then. And I have changed a lot on the past 12 years… and him less so because he’s over a decade older than me. I suspect that if I were a bit older when I chose my partner, I’d have a clearer sense of what I want and need in a relationship. Having said that, I’m glad that I became a mom at a young age. I will empty nest at 43. And when I’m 60, my daughter will be 38 and my son will be 35. So, I’ll likely get to be around for a longer while in their lives. That’s also something to take into consideration But overall you’d be wise to follow your natural desires and find out if you really want wifehood and motherhood or if you’re only feeling compelled toward that out of a sense of social pressure.

It mostly comes up when the monotheistic religions framed the Earthly as lesser and even evil. And since those have been the prevailing God image for thousands of years, the societies most influenced by this image have pitted man against nature. For example, in the creation story, the snake (an archetypally feminine symbol because of its close proximity to Earth) is seen as the embodiment of the devil who is a FALLEN angel. And the devil is so Earthly that he lives at the core of the Earth. He was heavenly before but now he has fallen and is lowly and of the Earth. And for tempting Adam and Eve, the snake loses his legs and has to crawl upon his body as will all other snakes from here on out for the devil-snake's transgression. And this implies that he's brought lower and to the Earth. And if you notice... Eve = Evil. The feminine is associated with that which is Earthly and evil. And like snakes, all women are "punished" with pain during childbirth and a monthly menstrual cycles. And for a long time in human history, women were seen as an inherently corrupting and hedonistic force. And children would be weened from their mother as soon as possible for fear that the exposure to her would be inherently corrupting. It was understood that men were closer to God and that women were closer to the devil. And this also shows up a bit in religions like Buddhism that frame Maya as something purely to be transcended and escaped. Basically, most of our world religions have framed the feminine as lesser in a gendered sense and an archetypal sense. But recently there has been an embrace of Pagan and Tribal religious structures, which are all about the relationship to the Earth and how the spirit is here within the matter. This is a contrast to the distant father God image that is, by his nature, away from the Earthly realm.

I can only tell you what I've experienced. The masculine and feminine is a reality that can be experienced phenomenologically as I have experienced it myself. And I experienced feminine energy the first time at age 20 when a very strongly held conviction of mine was that the masculine and feminine were just an invention of culture. But when I experienced it, it didn't resemble cultural ideas of the feminine. It was just a feminine feeling and that was the only word that fit. It was in me and the night sky and all the plants around me. But in terms of qualities being feminine/masculine, there are pure social constructs like the ones that I mentioned. Like pink being for girls and that kind of thing. There's no truth there. It's just culture. And these social constructs actually keep a person's natural energies squelched. But there are universal feminine and masculine archetypes that are consistent across many cultures and eras. And this comes from people noticing these polar energies in regard to certain objects and phenomena. In most cultures and eras, the Earth is associated with the feminine. Even the word for matter in most languages is a derivative of the word for mother. And deities of the sky are usually masculine. And furthermore this is a very important insight for all people to understand... especially those who are looking to upend and not perpetuate patriarchal structures. If a person doesn't recognize that there's a reality to the masculine and feminine, they can unintentionally add to the anti-feminine biases... simply by not knowing what archetypal qualities are masculine and feminine. A person may not realize how biased toward the masculine they truly are. For example, a person who has the mindset that maintaining societal structures is more important than the cycles of the Earth is engaging in a patriarchal mindset. A person who believes that the intellect is more important the emotions is engaging in a patriarchal mindset. A person who sees the physical world as unimportant and something to be transcended and exalts the spiritual life above all is engaging in a patriarchal mindset. A person who values doing over being is engaging in a patriarchal mindset. And if you notice, none of these directly have to do with human gender. A woman can engage in patriarchal mindsets just as much as a man can. Patriarchy really just denotes a social structure where the populace sees archetypal masculine qualities as superior to archetypal feminine qualities... and the system that results from this collective masculine bias creates all manner of issues from climate change to hegemony of every stripe. So not only is an awareness of the masculine and feminine not regressive. It is actually 100% necessary to effectively make progress on all the things that people on the left generally favor. Progress at its deepest root is all about bringing Yin and Yang into integration in our society, so that we can live harmoniously with the Earth. But with all the masculine bias that modern culture has, we have become disconnected from the Earth and cancerous. And we would be wise to learn about the archetypal masculine and feminine, so that we can see the ways we add to this issue.

I’ve read a few and nothing in particular stands out. But the only reason why I could guess from a post if a person is disintegrated with their feminine side is because most people have this issue in some degree and there are really obvious tell-tale signs.

How do you mean?

Masculine and feminine are the building blocks of this reality Matrix. From a certain perspective, they are the 1s and 0s of the binary code that creates reality. And you can experience these subtle qualities directly with the development of sensitivity to them. And it’s very often different from human notions around gender. So masculine and feminine are not specifically linked to humanity or the sex/gender of any being.

From reading your posts, I’d guess you have more Shadow Feminine as a result of a disintegrated feminine side. So you’d need to integrate your feminine side. Lots of guys think their issue is a problem with masculine integration, when it’s actually an issue with feminine integration.

Normal familiarity with the masculine side means that the woman has integrated the capacity to get a big picture perspective and to articulate the insights derived from that perspective in a logical manner. It is also the integration of the Divine Masculine qualities of principled action, non-reactivity, critical thinking, autonomy, rationality, precise articulation, emotional mastery, ambition, life-purpose, goal-setting, results orientation, healthy boundaries, and direction. But with Shadow Masculine possession, this includes hyper-competitive behavior, internalized misogyny, controlling behavior, black and white thinking, passive aggressive behavior, spiritual/intellectual bypassing, being domineering, etc. If you’re familiar with the show, think of the character Helga Pataki from “Hey Arnold!” She’s a great example of what the possessive masculine looks like. The possessive masculine is always there to protect the vulnerable feminine in lieu of healthy masculine integration. But where the integrated masculine creates a healthy boundary, the possessive masculine creates 10-feet tall steel walls with razor wire at the top. But the thing to understand about this forum context, is that a person would have to be somewhat acquainted with the masculine to line up here. What I find is that, on this forum, there is an abundance of masculine integration with the men and women alike. Maybe one or two of the women on here really show signs of masculine possession. But a great many of the men on here lack feminine integration. And this leads to Shadow Feminine behaviors like cattiness, pettiness, lack of direction, lack of motivation, jealousy towards women, obsession with social status, and passivity towards life. And of course, this interferes with the masculine side as well.

Usually, if a woman ends up in an abusive dynamic with a man… especially if that abusive dynamic stems from her relationship to her father and other men who were around her in her childhood… she will have a negative relationship to her masculine side. And this leads to either a lack of Divine Masculine qualities like autonomy, objectivity, direction, self-efficacy, clarity, etc…. Or it leads the Shadow Masculine to take on a possessive role where the woman becomes avoidant, armored, combative, and domineering. And in order for her to heal, she’ll have to likely reintegrate both the masculine and feminine side. The relationship with the masculine will have to be healed because her experiences with masculine people have been painful. And this leads her to see the masculine as strong but evil. But likewise, she may resent and reject her feminine side and womanhood for making her vulnerable to the abuse. And this makes her see the feminine as weakness. So, it would likely need to be both. But if she were to try integrate her feminine side without integrating her masculine side, it wouldn’t work out. And this is because she would be reclaiming the Divine Feminine qualities of receptivity and vulnerability… and meanwhile she has an exploitative, abusive, and tyrannical inner man running amok in her psyche. So the more feminine she becomes, the more receptive to the inner abuse she will be. Because of this, she’d be wise to either begin with integrating the inner opposite… or do both simultaneously.

Yes, that becomes an issue. It’s the whole idea that plays out with the Crusades and killing in the name of Christ. They saw non-Christians as bad. So, in their minds, it was good to kill and torture them. It’s the lack of empathy and the demonization of the other, all wrapped in an ideological blanket of righteousness, that enables those who think they’re doing something valiant and good to actually be doing really shitty things.

Masculine and feminine are not just social constructs. Though there are notions of masculinity and femininity that are purely a product of culture. For example, the idea that pink is a feminine color is purely a social construct. Or the idea that women wear make up is purely a social construct. But there is a consistency across cultures and eras with regard to the archetypal masculine and feminine… which supersedes but informs human gender. And this consistency comes about because, on one level, all things in the cosmos is an interplay between Yin and Yang which are two polar subtle qualities. And the way human beings most readily understand Yin and Yang is through the archetypal masculine and feminine. I used to believe that masculinity and femininity were just social constructs, until I had some awakenings where I was sensitive enough to pick up on these qualities. A good rule of thumb to understand the nature of the masculine and feminine is to look at its associated elements. The masculine is more akin to the elements air and fire. The masculine has no substance on its own but can enact itself upon substances and have a transformative effect. The feminine is more akin to the elements of Earth and water. And so, the feminine has substance but no transformation without something acting upon it. And the overwhelming energy of the Earth is feminine, which is reflected universally in all cultures. The qualities of the masculine include intellect, ambition, movement, and the tendency of human beings to transform Mother Nature to fit its needs and whims. The qualities of the feminine include emotion, acceptance, stillness, and the tendency of human beings to accept and respect the workings of Mother Nature. And you’ll notice that this doesn’t have a lot to do with human gender. The masculine and feminine are not primarily concerned with the gender expressions humanity… though this does impact that domain just as it impacts all domains.

Still hung up on this? Why are you posting this on a personal development forum?

Hello all! As someone who eats a plant based diet, I’ll often find threads on here about Veganism. And there is a pattern I notice around lack of holistic thinking relative to this topic... and others. Lots of more intellectual and logic-based perspectives and not a lot of credence given to heart-based perspectives. For example, someone might share the truth that... ‘There is no way to stop causing suffering to other beings. We kill so many life-forms every time we step on the grass.’ OR ‘Plants are alive too.’ And the list goes on. And these are perfectly true and logical perspectives. But they are often used to bypass and overlook more heart-centered perspectives like the darker and grittier empathy we can realize when we observe the suffering of another sentient being. So, these more intellectual truths often insulate a person from the awareness of how they really feel about animal suffering. This isn’t the only topic this happens in relation to. Lots of elevating mind-based perspectives over heart-based perspectives in general. It’s just the clearest example of this. The main point here is to say that, if you value becoming multi-perspectival and holistic in you POV, you must integrate the heart-based POV. And you must be discerning enough to know which perspective is wisest to take in any given situation. We can use truths from either perspective to lie to ourselves. That’s how sneaky self-deception can be. Sometimes, the logic/mind-based perspectives will be wisest. Other times, choosing this perspective will lead to major blind spots, rationalizations of “devilry”, and intellectual bypassing. Sometimes, the heart-centered perspective will be wisest. Other times, choosing this perspective will lead you into ungroundedness and distorted thinking. Basically, with regard to Veganism and topics like it... don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.

Yes! I’ve been considering for a while to do a video series on practical applications for the 7 Hermetic Principles. I had mentioned earlier in the thread a derivative axiom from “as above, so below”… which is “as within, so without.” I mentioned it in relation to how men with a disintegrated feminine side play the internal drama outward in their interactions with women. But with “as above, so below”, we can (if we’ve had awakenings) look at how the experience of source in one of its facets is quite androgynous with feminine and masculine components. And we and everything else in this matrix mirrors the dance of God’s feminine and masculine sides. So, the God is above and we are below. But we can also look to lesser macrocosms of that axiom. And we can recognize society as the above and us again as the below. And in this, we can see how both society and the individual mirror their feminine repressions playing out the same patterns of resistance on larger and smaller scales. And we can see the way it naturally plays out when we have the sensitivity to observe Yin and Yang in its aligned form. And this can help us drop our resistances as individuals and as a society at large.

That’s the way that I understand it too. My friend Bunny identifies as non-binary, and she’s quite feminine. It’s just that the label of woman doesn’t resonate with her.

Terf stands for “Trans Exclusive Radical Feminist”… basically Feminists that are bigoted towards trans-folk. But Terfs don’t call themselves that. That’s what non-Terfs call them. They call themselves “Gender Critical” Feminists… meaning critical of gender’s existence. They believe that gender isn’t real and that no one has a gender. They believe that people only have a certain type of body. So, you have male-bodied people and female-bodied people but no gender identity. They believe that all notions of gender are 100% made up for the express purpose of oppressing women. And they have a very black and white world view where all male-bodied people are inherently predatory and all female-bodied people are inherently the victims of male-bodied people. And they view trans-women as male-bodied people who are using their trans identity to sneak around and be predatory toward female-bodied people. And trans-men are just female bodied people who have gone into denial about their victimization at the hands of male-bodied people and use the trans identity to avoid predation by male-bodied people. So, they’re very anti-man. But trans-women get the lion’s share of their ire.

I’m sure that Terfs wouldn’t like it too much. They’re the ones that are all about gender not being real. But they use that “gender isn’t real” rhetoric mostly to be shitty to trans people, so I don’t mind their outrage. But non-binary people are not Terfs. Non-binary doesn’t mean that they believe that gender doesn’t exist. Non-binary people just feel like the label of male and female doesn’t fit them accurately. They feel more comfortable in themselves by shucking those identities. They also belong to the LGBTQ community, which is a community all about embracing different intonations of human sexuality and gender. So, if there is a group (like Terfs) that believes that gender doesn’t exist, it means they’re crapping on others’ gender identities and will probably be deeply unpopular with many members of the LGBTQ community. But I personally am of the mindset that the widespread acceptance of the LGBTQ community is one of the most liberating things we have begun to achieve as a human species. Not only is it liberating for the LGBTQ community… it also liberates straight, cisgender, and gender conforming people to integrate their opposite polarities more deeply and with less shame. And this newfound fluidity with sexuality and gender will help us integrate the feminine deeper into our currently masculine principled society. But what must be understood is that every person contains a natural masculine/feminine signature. And while most people’s masculine/feminine signature skews more towards the polarity typically associated withtheir sex at birth… some will have a more equal balance of masculine/feminine in them and others will have it skew more towards the opposite polarity of the energy most typically relates to their sex assigned at birth. This masculine/feminine signature also runs along the the sexual instinct. So, you could potentially have a person who’s very gender conforming in their overall signature… but still primarily have same sex attractions. So there is nothing in what I’m saying that contradicts or invalidates these identities. In fact, the masculine and feminine in all things explains how there can be so much variety with regard the spectrums of human gender and sexuality. But some people might get upset about it because they feel I’m being heteronormative or stereotyping as I do have to paint with somewhat broad strokes to get my point across.

In case you’re genuinely interested… Et voila… But the reason why I didn’t post the other such thread is because the women on here don’t generally have an issue with masculine integration. In order for women to be interested in Leo’s content at all, she’d likely be fairly well acquainted with her masculine side… more than the average woman. But you can look on here and see that 80% of the guys on here are really struggling under the weight of feminine repression.

Yes, if you repress your masculine side, your feminine will also take a hit. The masculine and feminine are like conjoined twins. But yes…. anyone can repress either or both sides of their polarity. And the symptoms are similar for repressing a certain polarity, regardless of gender. For example, I used to repress my femininity so much. And I see a lot of my past self’s neuroses in men who are currently repressing. And for both, the solution is to find the root of the resistance and drop it. For some, the root may be core beliefs like, “If I am feminine then women won’t like me.” Or “Men are all predatory and only want one thing” Or “If I show my emotions, I am weak.” For others, the root can come from past traumas and protection mechanisms.

Well said

Just don’t encourage people to spiritually bypass their issues with integration. This issue with repression is actually taking a toll on people’s lives and psychological wellbeing. So, while it’s true that these are the relative truths of Maya… Maya problems often require Maya solutions.

Thank you