Emerald

I haven’t looked at any double-blind studies. I’m not sure that those kinds of studies could even exist in this case…. because you couldn’t actually create a control group who gets placebo hormone replacement therapy. You kind of have to go by surveys and case studies. So, I’ve seen surveys, and heard lots of anecdotes. It’s very common to hear stories like, ‘I was miserable and depressed but then I transitioned and it was like a weight was lifted off of me.’ My husband’s friend who is trans said that, before she transitioned, she was dealing with alcohol addiction and all sorts of other problems. But when she transitioned, she no longer struggled with it. And she’s doing quite well for herself since I met her. And you hear these same kinds of stories time and time again. And the survey statistics I’ve seen match up with these anecdotes. My view is that I will listen to trans people about their experiences. And I will listen to medical professionals who work directly with trans people. I don’t tend to put much stock in other people’s perspectives on this issue because they tend to be uninformed and operating off of lots of misunderstandings and fear-based gut reactions.

Of course, there’s bound to be occasional cases of a drag queen at drag queen story hour being a pedophile… just like there will be occasional cases of teachers and babysitters and others who work with kids being pedophiles. Unfortunately, careers and events that are kid-centric will always be infiltrated by the occasional pedophile. But that’s no reason to think that the LGBTQ community has a higher percentage of pedophiles compared to straight/cisgender people. As far as my current view on top and bottom surgery, it would make sense to make people wait until 18 for these more invasive procedures. And I don’t think they should offer the surgeries in the 17 and over category until 18. Many trans people can’t even afford the surgeries anyway. So, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to make people wait another year. That said, I say this tentatively because I know there are some really bad cases of gender dysphoria. And if it’s causing a real mental health hazard to avoid surgical intervention, then I would be open to reconsider my stance on a case by case basis. But I do think that the medications should be available to those who show consistent signs of being trans over a period of time.

The official treatment for gender dysphoria is social and/or medical transitioning. And it’s the official treatment because it’s highly effective. What you’re saying is to ignore medical experts and do less effective forms of intervention… which could lead to the kid committing suicide. Would you rather the child commit suicide or would you rather them receive the care that they need?

Again… my argument has never been that we need books about sexuality and gender in schools. I don’t feel strongly about that in either direction. Kids will be fine either way. I’m fine if the books are there. And I’m fine if the books aren’t there. Kids already know a lot more about genders and sexualities than the average adult, simply because they are growing up in this generation. I’m fairly confident that they’ll figure it out. My issue is that DeSantis is being authoritarian because of the laws he is passing for the purpose of influencing young minds. And the fact that teachers are having to worry about getting a felony for having the “wrong book” in their classroom. It’s not really about the type of books he’s banning… it’s about the fact that he’s banning them and using the threat of really intense punishments to enforce those bans.

Trans people are not an ideology… just like gay people are not an ideology. Some people are just gay. And some people are just trans. And I have listened to many stories from those who detransitioned. About 5 or so years ago, I got curious about the perspective of trans people. And I was watching a lot of trans YouTubers to learn more about their experiences. And a handful of them were talking about their detransition stories. And this was at a time before detransitioners were a mainstay in the anti-trans movement. And it wasn’t framed as a harrowing experience (not that I’m saying that that experience couldn’t be a bad experience). It’s was more of a “this was part of my journey” framing. They were just telling what happened and why they detransitioned. And there was no anti-trans message imbedded in their anecdotes. And beyond anecdotes… statistically speaking, the de-transition rate for trans people is around 2%. And I certainly have empathy for people who go through that. But as with most things in politics, it’s a railroad problem. Are you going to prevent 98% trans youth who often have suicidal ideation as a result of gender dysphoria from accessing puberty blockers and potentially hormone replacement therapy… to prevent 2% of trans youth from having to go through the process of detransitioning? Let’s not understate this… that there are more kids’ lives at stake by preventing access to gender affirming care. Also, when it comes to kids and teenagers who actually get access to hormone replacement therapy, the number (as of a few months ago) was just under 5,000 kids in the United States. That’s about 100 kids in each state. It’s hardly the epidemic that everyone’s framing it as. So, it isn’t a situation where they’re prescribing these drugs willy nilly to anyone who asks for them. And there are already medical protocols in place to determine over a period of time whether or not the person is actually trans. In the Norwegian model, the person is monitored for consistency over the course of a couple years, then the doctor may prescribe hormone replacement therapy. And I’m sure the U.S. has similar protocols. So, I recommend that you do what I did a few years ago and get a more holistic understanding of trans issues before you go into panic mode.

Yes, definitely cut loose and have fun. Be social like you would with any other person. Build rapport through laughing together and relating to each other in conversation. Women respond most to having a friendly human connection with a man with good conversation, banter, and mild to moderate flirtation. But as you escalate things physically, the most important thing you can do is to read the subtle sub-communication that’s happening. It’s the body language and how she responds to your touch that will give you the sense for whether or not to advance a step or take a step back.

I can see the similarities there in how they’re seeing a smaller left-leaning pattern and extrapolating it out to historical instances of left-wing authoritarianism. And if the left actually had substantial institutional power, they’d be correct to sound the alarm when lefty politicians over-stepped or started doing the authoritarian dance. And I’d criticize a left-wing politician just the same if they were banning books and creating laws that charge teachers with felonies for having books that had ideologically divergent material in it. But the reality is that there is no governmentally entrenched left-wing authoritarianism in America. America is fundamentally corporatist. And left-wing politicians and policies would be a huge threat to the status quo. So, when right wingers sound the alarm about left-wing authoritarianism, it’s usually some kid with pink hair that has very little political power. Or its them calling Biden a Communist dictator when he is definitely a Capitalist and never actually does anything particularly authoritarian. But the far right has actually gained a pretty significant foothold in the American government over the past 7 years. So, it isn’t far-fetched at all to be concerned about right-wing authoritarianism.

Once I see evidence that it causes issues for kids, I’d be willing to change my mind. So, I would need to see some studies on the impacts of how knowing about gender identities and sexualities impact kids. Otherwise, all I have to go off of is personal anecdotes. Given my experiences with my own children and with other people’s children in my time as a teacher and substitute teacher… in comparison with my childhood… the younger generation seems to be in a somewhat healthier place relative to the topic of gender and sexuality. And the social contagion fear just isn’t actually playing out. Kids are about the same as they’ve always been. Only now, instead of a school only having one trans kid, a school has like 3 trans kids. But with regard to what you said about books… in the school district that my kids go to school in and that I used to work in, all elementary classrooms have a shelf or two full of books for kids to read. And in language arts classes in middle and high school (and some electives) there are also shelves full of books. Also, these laws would also apply to the school library and the media specialists that work in the library. So, lots of libraries have also been gutted because of the same law. And these books were always meant to be freely chosen and were already being curated by the media specialists. And for many children, this is their only access to books. So, don’t frame my argument as “OMG! We need gay books!” That’s not my argument. My argument is that this law is purposefully vague and authoritarian… and is being used to influence public education to set up a situation where it’s easier to mold impressionable minds in the direction of certain political ends.

Number one, no one under the age of 18 is permitted to get bottom surgery. So, no child is having their genitals chopped off. Also, Nazis often used the “protect the children” rhetoric to justify what they were doing. And I’m sure many of them even thought that they were protecting children. But the thing that makes Fascistic ends more likely is all the false rhetoric around the LGBTQ community “grooming children”. Grooming means readying the child to be taken advantage of sexually by an adult. It’s a way of accusing LGBTQ people of being pedophiles. And this implication can make lots of otherwise accepting or indifferent people want to harm gay and trans people when they hear these lies. And it’s very dangerous for trans and gay people politically as well. We can see this by the sudden uptick in anti-trans bills.

When there’s a policy on the books where a teacher could get a felony for having the wrong book in their classroom, this is going to make most teachers weed the books out completely… even if no one ever gets charged. And this sets DeSantis up with all the power to create a state sanctioned book list, which is what teachers will have to pick from to fill their shelves safely. And this gives DeSantis quite a bit of power to shape young minds towards any agenda he wants to push. And they could even selectively apply the law to whichever situations they wanted to, given how vague the law is. Not saying that he will do those things. But it’s important to recognize that these are potential next steps in his overall political dance. Authoritarianism is like a 10 step dance and (historically speaking) he’s done a couple of the early steps of it. That doesn’t mean he’s going to go all the way to 10. But doing the first couple steps should be enough to prick up people’s ears. And it isn’t pricking up people’s ears… which is troubling to me. We’ve gotten too used to outrageous political behavior in recent years. So, everyone’s become somewhat desensitized to it. But I think about authoritarianism like this… Think of it like a meteorologist looking at swirling weather patterns in the Atlantic Ocean during hurricane season. They mark weather patterns that might potentially become hurricanes with an x. And some of them become full blown hurricanes and other fizzle out. This is how I view authoritarian behavior in politicians. It’s currently the right economic and political atmosphere for authoritarianism to arise. So, it’s “authoritarianism season”. I see the patterns in DeSantis, and I mark it with an x in my mind. He might fizzle out into a typical politician or he might escalate in his authoritarianism. Only time will tell. But it’s important to point out when a politician starts showing the patterns that have historically led to authoritarianism. And I’d rather run the risk of over-reacting than under-reacting. But to your other point, I suppose that I just have my doubts that kids are being taught that much about gender fluidity in schools. It seems like a ginned up threat that’s not actually happening in a substantial way. I heard some random school district in California was doing some minor version of it with some unicorn worksheet thing they were making available to students. But I would suspect that this is rare… and probably non-existent in elementary school. But honestly, kids these days already know about there being different gender identities from simply existing in the year 2023. It can’t be hidden from them. And it doesn’t really seem to trip them up much from what I’ve noticed in my kids and the kids that I’ve taught. A couple years ago, when my daughter was 9, she went through a whole phase where she was really interested in knowing all the different genders and sexualities and all the flags that correspond. It was with a very similar energy to when she was really into learning Japanese. Or right now, she really likes this game with singing monsters. It’s just one of dozens of phases that she’s gone through. And honestly, having a broader language and vocabulary to figure yourself out, probably illuminates things more than it muddles them To give an analogy… Most places only have a few words to describe snow. But in the Inuit language (the native Alaskans), there are 30 words for snow to describe all the different nuances. It makes more sense to me that adding more language around gender and sexuality would be more illuminating and help young people figure themselves out.

Brilliant Marianne Williamson interview on abc News…

Here’s my recommendation of what I’ve generally liked being on the receiving end of… I like it when a guy gives me an excuse to be closer to him (or at times, I’ve created the excuse). For example, you could say, “Hey, let me show you this cool thing on my phone.” Maybe bring up a music video that you like that you want her to see… or maybe some photos of something cool you did. Make sure it’s something that can spark a few minute long conversation at least. This gives her an excuse to sit really close to you for an extended period of time. And if she’s interested in getting physical with you (making out or sex) she will probably get as close as she has plausible deniability to do so. And if she does sit very close… right next to you to where her legs are within an inch or two of yours… you can relax your leg and let it gently rest against hers as you talk about what you’re showing her. Give yourself some plausible deniability in this. Make it to where she’ll know your intention if she’s interested… but not so obvious that it creates pressure or awkwardness. And if she pulls her leg away, de-escalate slightly back to the platonic/friendly frame. But if she lets you keep your leg there, (if you’re out in public) then scoot even closer and continue the conversation with your leg touching hers. And you can escalate further physical contact, like touching her hand or putting your arm around her. This will create anticipation if you’re out in public, which will heighten her desire. Anticipation is the best aphrodisiac from a woman’s perspective. But if you’re already alone with her you could also escalate this physical touch into a kiss… which could lead to sex.

You conveniently left out the part about charging teachers with felonies if they unknowingly have a book in their classroom that happens to have a gay character in it. And you left it out because you know on some level that it’s authoritarian, and it doesn’t suit your argument well to address it in your reply. And so you reframe it in more innocuous terms because the reality doesn’t fit well with your framework that this is just Conservatives being Conservatives. So, to protect that idea the DeSantis is just a run of the mill Conservative, you take the things I’m telling you about DeSantis defang them and make them look more harmless than they are. And to protect that idea, you view me through the lens of being some progressive that doesn’t understand the Conservative point of view and its function in society. The reality is that DeSantis is attempting to alter k-12 and college level schools’ curriculum. And when politicians are going through great lengths to mess with academia, the goal is to mold young impressionable minds in the direction of their own ideological agendas. It appears to me that you wouldn’t recognize authoritarianism if it smacked you on the ass.

He’s banning tons of books that have absolutely nothing to do with LGBTQ stuff. But worse than that he’s pushed legislation that would charge teachers with a felony for simply having books in their classroom that go outside of certain (intentionally) vague guidelines. One of the guidelines is that it contains nothing that instructs about LGBTQ issues. So, what would happen if a teacher happens to have a book in their classroom that they didn’t know had a gay character in it? Well, they could be charged with a felony and lose their teaching license. So, all sensible teachers would just have to take all the books off their shelves. But of course, we can’t have a school without books for kids to read. So, let’s be safe and just have books that are on DeSantis’s state sanctioned book list. You’re trying really hard to make a something into a nothing. Perhaps I just notice how authoritarian this is because I used to be a teacher. And no… there was no SJW indoctrination in the school I taught at. And during my time as a substitute teacher, there wasn’t any SJW curriculum at any of the schools I taught at in my district. So, all DeSantis wants is a monopoly over the minds of the youth. And that should be very concerning to everyone.

This is just a cop out. Examples please. Don’t make arguments you’re not prepared to defend.

You’re just wrong about DeSantis. And I do understand the Conservative position. I grew up in a community with a Conservative ethos. I can steel man all of their positions, and I could convince a Conservative that didn’t know me that I was a true dyed in the wool Conservative if I had to. What you must understand is that it’s not specifically about his ideological positions. It’s about the way he’s going about enacting them. It’s about how a politician chooses to enact their ideology that makes them an authoritarian… not necessarily the ideology itself. He’s banning books and attempting to influence public schools and colleges to indoctrinate kids into a certain way of thinking. That’s enough of an authoritarian red flag for me.

Like I said, it’s always been a purple state. It’s usually 51/49 in the slight favor of Republicans. But there’s a couple reasons that DeSantis cleaned house… one is leaning into culture war stuff. And his opponent was Charlie Crist who was a former Republican governor turned Democrat in order to run against DeSantis. So, it was really a battle of middle of the road Republican versus far right anti-woke Republican. Either way, the only reason why Democratic voters voted for Crist was because of negative voter turnout to try to keep DeSantis from getting it. But he certainly wasn’t going to excite the Democratic base.

That’s not a meaningful distinction at this juncture in time. We don’t know what DeSantis would do with the presidency.

They’re typically late Blue to middle Orange… depending on whether they’re a more Traditionalist Conservative or Libertarian Conservative. Most of them are very resistant to Green. And they don’t typically have an accurate idea of stage Green politics. If you ask your average right winger what people on the left believe and why, they wouldn’t be able to give you an accurate answer. That’s because they haven’t experienced Green yet. So, the mindset is foreign to them.

The reason why Trump was saying that was because it was at a time when he was down in the polls to DeSantis. So, he was trying to find ways to meaningfully differentiate himself from DeSantis to try to regain momentum when his political chances weren’t looking too good. And he was seeking to corner the constituency of Log Cabin Republicans who are put off by DeSantis’s anti-LGBTQ stances. I think this quote might have even been from when he attended a Log Cabin Republican event. He also decided to stand firmly in not cutting anything from Social Security or Medicare to regain his momentum. And it seems to have been a good strategy for him because he’s polling much better now. But I don’t expect him to support the LGBTQ community much now that he doesn’t need their support to win the primary. He’ll go whichever direction suits his political aspirations the best. At the time it was cozying up to Log Cabin Republicans and now it’s not.

The distinction between fears of left authoritarianism and fears of right authoritarianism is that the latter actually has the institutional power to back it up. The furthest left federal government official in American politics is Bernie Sanders. And most of his positions are moderate from the perspective of other 1st world nations… things like free public college and single payer healthcare. And America is so corporatist in its interests that even other Democrats fear mongered about Communism when Bernie ran for president. So, there is no valid threat of left authoritarianism from within the US government. But right wing authoritarians have a ton of institutional power on federal, state, and local levels. And the right wing propaganda machine is very effective and very well-oiled. This is why concerns about right wing authoritarianism are not just an over-reaction to “things I dislike”. The far right has been very effective at organizing themselves into a movement. And it’s become so normalized that people just think it’s business as usual… like frogs in slowly boiling water.

How can you think that progressives have all the cultural influence? It’s really obvious that progressives have little to no institutional power. And the culture (from an American perspective) is very Capitalistic and Stage Orange. Mainstream American culture is more Libertarian-minded than anything else. Aside from some really basic things, like more diverse representations in movies compared to 10 years ago and occasional lip service to vague values like equality, very little within mainstream culture is oriented toward anything particularly progressive. It’s all about maintaining the status quo and milking that status quo for everything it’s worth. All elements of mainstream culture are just watered down so that it has consumer appeal to the widest target audience possible. And that’s pretty anti-progressive by its nature.

I agree with that. My suspicion and hope is that Republican politicians will realize it’s a losing strategy to lean into authoritarianism and anti-LGBTQ stuff. They were expecting to clean house in the midterms, because the opposing party to the president tends to do very well in midterm elections. But they did quite poorly in the house (only getting a slight majority), and even lost a seat in the senate. And one of the number one issues they were leaning into was culture war anti-trans stuff. Yet again, Roe v. Wade had also been recently overturned. So, that certainly lost them support as well.

Be that as it may, it doesn’t stop this backlash from leading to Fascist ends and right wing authoritarianism more generally. And you would be wise to see this uptick in aggressiveness and legal attacks toward the LGBTQ community as a potential sign of worse things to come. There are plenty of traditionalist right wingers who would be willing to vote a Fascist into power if that Fascist promised to bring back the good old days when men were men and women were women by any means necessary. History doesn’t move in a straight line. It’s always 10 steps forward and 9 steps back.