Emerald

@soos_mite_ah These are well-thought-out answers to the questions. I would answer many of them the same way if I were coming at this exercise from an intellect-based point of view. But the important thing about the contemplation is more about connecting to a deeply vulnerable and disempowered feeling state, rather than answering outright from the intellect and the current intellectual frameworks you operate through. Think of these questions more as a vehicle through which to enter the collective Feminine wound of powerlessness and being stripped of personal sovereignty than something to be answered with the intellect. Those mind-based answers will bring you up further into a state of relative empowerment and understanding... and a comfort zone in the status quo of your frame of mind. But deeper levels of Feminine integration and unearthing of the Feminine power comes from allowing yourself to descend into the powerlessness and a tonguing of the collective Feminine wounds... which requires a kind of self-negation within the exercise. Like, imagine yourself as a being that is designed to be oppressed and marginalized... and the feelings that evokes if you knew that to be true about yourself as a woman. And given that societies have historically been built from the sacrifice of women's individuation and power up until fairly recently, it doesn't seem to be a bug... but to be a feature at earlier phases in human development that society is built upon the foundation of TONS of human sacrifice, particularly with regard to female sovereignty. And there is nothing in nature that says nature won't screw over one sex over the other. Think of the male praying mantis. They just get eaten after sex. So, things are naturally imbalanced between the sexes in that case with that species. And perhaps, this is just part of our nature that women are marginalized into a state of disempowerment. To be clear, my view is the women's empowerment and Feminine integration is something very natural... but only possible with enough societal development. And before society develops enough, women's power, individuation, sovereignty, and sense of self were purely sacrificial lambs to make the society function. But in the exercise, it's about immersing yourself in the unprocessed powerlessness associated with womanhood and Femininity... and thousands of years of female and Feminine disempowerment and sacrifice of selfhood/subjecthood, which all people are hurting from at the deepest level. There are many ugly things are features of humanity.. which we are only very recently starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel from with the dawning of Stage Green. Hence why it's a safe zone... and why it's difficult to transcend for women. But it's also why many men (especially white heterosexual cisgendered men who have hierarchical viewpoints on human value) want to skip Green altogether, and they end up just stuck in Orange. So, this emotional exercise tests your limits and pries open the doorway to many Feminine individual and collective Shadows. Only then, can Feminine power actually be integrated into society.

I can definitely see that Stage Green and even some subtle elements of later phases would be reflected in the "Soft Life" influencers. I think there's definitely something there to be mined. But as someone who was raised fully in Orange and questioning all of this prior to recent trad wife internet trends and prior to soft life, there were very uncomfortable questions that I needed to ask myself to go deeper. Like 15 years ago, when I was 20 years old, I was pretty deep in Stage Orange but also had a smattering of Stage Green as it enabled by Stage Orange ambitions... where I saw Masculinity and Femininity as purely socially constructed. But ALL of my values were Masculine values. And I only saw value in the appearance of Femininity without valuing anything of the Feminine principle. And when I tried Ayahuasca for the first time, at age 20, it opened up my awareness to a deeper Femininity that didn't have very much to do with the social constructs around Femininity. It was just in the night and in the plants... and within myself. Then, when I was back in my usual frame of mind... I went back into the usual Masculine values. But I was trying to "get back" to the Feminine. But it brought me right directly into a lot of wounding that caused me to repress the Feminine in the first place... and that repression is collective. Progress has been made over the past 15 years, for sure. But there is still a collective repression of the Feminine... and a belief that the Feminine needs to be dominated and controlled... and suppressed. So, to access the Feminine... I needed to dive directly into my biggest fears and wounds around the Feminine. And that means with pure open-minded curiosity and asking questions like the following... Is it natural for women to be oppressed and disempowered? Is it bad for society if women are empowered? If so, why and under what circumstance? And if not, why and under what circumstances? Why do women tend to prefer being submissive in the bedroom? Is that an indicator of what women want in the societal sense? If women are designed to be oppressed, is my desire for agency and autonomy a reflection of trauma and societal illness? Why has the oppression of women been so widespread for so many millennia if it isn't the way that it's designed to be? Why are women built with weaker bodies and men with stronger bodies if it isn't female nature to be disempowered? It's these kinds of questions that I spent a lot of my twenties really deep in contemplation about... as it was these that were keeping me from opening my consciousness up to my own Feminine side. And given that these questions directly tongue the wounds of the Feminine, it helps to connect with that which has been rejected, repressed, and denied as soon as women can escape the old shackles. Once the feeling states are activated that these questions bring to the surface, that's where connection to the wounded Feminine can be found. And is by sinking into those wounds that you find the lost power that has been stripped from the Feminine for many millennia. So, it's really just asking the most potentially disempowering questions and playing a kind of internal devil's advocate with yourself to explore the wounds and get more clarity about where these patterns actually come from and to embrace what has been rejected and marginalized.

Sure. With Stage Green, there tends to be a very egalitarian focus... which is an improvement from the hegemony of the previous phases. And women especially are freed from a very narrow context and things that stand in the way of their individuation... which is suppressed on the level of gender in Blue and all phases before, and is suppressed on the level of Femininity in Orange and all phases before. So, with Stage Blue and before, (in most societal contexts) women are not thought of as fully sovereign individuals that should have power in the societal structure. And the Feminine itself is very Masculinity-washed stripped down to just what is necessary to keep society going. And traditional Femininity is a lot narrower than traditional Masculinity. Then, with Stage Orange... there is more of a sense of "Women can compete too"... as long as she strips herself of the narrow context of traditional Femininity... but without any awareness of a deeper Feminine energetic reality. And this Feminine stripping feels like relief because REAL Masculine individuation is on offer for women... which allows us to expand our horizons. But the only way to expand is to become Masculine and to get rid of the Feminine... which is partially true. If your only Femininity on offer is traditional Femininity, then you do have to strip yourself of it like a hermit crab that has outgrown its shell. And Stage Orange women tend to be very anti-Feminine in all ways but physical appearance... both anti trad Fem AND anti real Fem, because Femininity is ONLY seen as a limiter of potential from Stage Orange. With Stage Green, the superiority of Masculinity itself starts to be a questioned... though it still isn't aware of and doesn't embrace the deep Feminine. And there is more of a sense that gender is a construct (which is partially true)... and that there is no innate distinction between men and women. And it questions gender roles beyond the question of "Who can compete in the workplace?" And it opens up to more than one category of gender and more than one category of relationship preference or structure. And it is critical of all the patterns that have created so much oppression in the past... which is liberating and freeing for women. And it starts to unintentionally begin to incorporate some Feminine principled values without thinking of them as such... things like community, non-hierarchical thinking, inclusion, ecological focus, etc. So, it is like women, gay people, trans people, disabled people, and members of minority religious/ethnic communities (specifically who have transcended stage blue) find refuge from the collective wounds of millennia of oppression into the present day. And since Green arises VERY close to Orange and Blue, there is still this societal threat of going backwards and being shoved back in the trad Fem box... like a fish that's already grown too big for such a narrow fishtank. There is also a deeper conditioning from Blue and Orange to see Femininity and women as inferior AND to see Masculinity and men as superior, because they are from the vantage point of Blue and Orange. So, once a woman gets to Green, it's a sense of escaping and shutting the door forever on all the pain and Feminine wounding from past generations of women. But in order to get to Turquoise (which is quite Feminine), you have to use Yellow to start to question the reasons why women have been oppressed for many millennia. And a lot of uncomfortable questions have to be asked. And there is a need to integrate the Feminine and to recognize the general differences between men and women from a higher perspective.. while these differences have always been used to disempower women in generations past. And Stage Orange men who are resistant to Green and who want women to go back in the little box tend to make this exploration of the Feminine and the deep collective wounds of the Feminine feel even more threatening.

As another note on this, it's important to understand that people stay holding onto a stage of development because they feel like that stage will empower them more than the latter stages. It's not true. It's a mistake that people make. But moving beyond the current phase requires a deconstruction and a feeling of losing power to make that transition. And there is a need to grieve the loss of the story that each phase tells. But with women, very few Green women are truly attached to yoga and innocent hippiness. Most women are attached to the dream of world without oppression and injustice... and a world where women are not oppressed for our gender. The transition of women from Green to Yellow requires us to face into the wounds of disempowerment from earlier phases... and to sort the wheat from the chaff with regards to the Feminine. For men, it's about losing the idea of Masculine/male superiority and embracing the Feminine... which men have been told makes them a little bitch and not worthy of women or existence. So, men's transition from Orange to Green feels disempowering... and women's transition from Green to Yellow/Turquoise brings her right into the raw wounds of historical oppression and rape of the Feminine. For men, it reads as a loss of a power advantage and an evening of the playing field. For women, it feels like the loss of the newly gained even playing field and a descent into hell. But when you do let yourself descend into hell, you find a much deeper power than that which is in Green.

I think that the reason why men tend to resist green is because green takes Masculine-principled values off of the pedestal and critiques their value within the context of contemporary society (things like strength, competition, achievement, trials by fire, hierarchical thinking, dominance, conquest, etc.) In the context of earlier societal structures, these qualities are highly valuable over Feminine-principled qualities... as they help our survival in pre-industrial times. But these values reach a point of diminishing returns very quickly once the progress from the industrial era blooms (which is the impetus for Stage Green to come online in the collective) And it upends male dominance narratives, which are easily fetishized and dangle like a carrot that many men are invested in chasing as it is seen as a salve to shame and disempowerment that men feel in Stages Orange and below. And in this image is a promise to have all needs and wants fulfilled (money, attractive women, respect, status, power, etc.) through embodying this idealized Stage Blueified Masculine image that Stage Orange dangles there as the ultimate meaningful goal for a man to pursue. So, many men hold very tightly to Stage Orange and the idealized image of Stage Blue Masculinity that Stage Orange asserts as ideal Masculinity... where men can imagine having the power imbalances of Stage Blue WITHOUT all the added responsibility and hardship of living in a less developed society. Plus, it can even be difficult to relinquish an attachment to Masculine values over Feminine values for a woman who's patriarchally conditioned... despite that her gains are much more evident. I had a hard time making this shift myself. It took me like 10 years to relinquish the idea that Masculinity is better than Femininity... and all the archetypally Masculine and Feminine values that aren't even labeled as such in the collective that go along with that. So, it can be extra difficult to relinquish and deconstruct these values for men because it feels like golden handcuffs... and losing Stage Orange can feel like a permanent loss of power. And Stage Green is rife with questioning the long-held valuation of Masculine values over Feminine values... and of men over women. The main thing that will help men deconstruct from Stage Orange is to recognize that the power you get from moving up the spiral is far greater than sticking around in Stage Orange... or in larping as Stage Blue. And we begin to see this already... as in the past 10 years, there's been a renaissance of out and proud polarized Masculinity that you see in Manosphere guys, Andre Tate, Donald Trump, Elon Musk, pick-up artists, grind-set entrepreneurs, tech bros, conservative influencers, etc. Before, there was a lot of mystery around this because it was shrouded in the collective Shadow. And 10 years ago, when it first began to break above the surface, a bunch of men were like "Thank God! We're sooo back!" But now, 10 years later, seemingly at the apex of its power... it is laid bare as insecure and easily lampooned by comedians. And that is how we learn to leave it behind collectively.

I've noticed that too. Most men who have developed themselves tend to resist green. So, they end up stuck in Orange with a few Yellow viewpoints around the edges. I can't even think of a man who values personal development who isn't in this bind to some degree or another. And then, Stage Green is the comfort zone for women because all phases before it are quite hellish, unsafe, and disempowering to women. And moving to Yellow and Turquoise requires looking at some really ugly things that are very disempowering to women. So, it's a sticking point for women. So, women will tend to hang out in green once they get there. It's a bit like running away from zombies for many millennia.... and then you finally get to the safe-house. It's not perfect there, but you have to go back out into the zombies and study the zombies and their ways deeply to get to tier two.

With the development of Stage Yellow, the thing to 'show for it' can manifest itself tangibly as friends, community, creativity, and career success. But it's really just the frame of mind... and being able to put on multiple lenses. So, a person would need to develop other skills to actualize the potentials and power that having Yellow multi-perspectival opens you up to. It's very much a "knowledge is power" kind of thing... where multi-perspectival thinking plus strategic skills plus work ethic = desired results. You just become a lot more aware of the levers of power you have to bring about your desired ends because you can find levers of power from many angles and vantage points. But with Stage Turquoise, this is less about intellect and is more about intuition, being, belonging, and basic heart wisdom. It's more of an intuitive sense of belonging within the greater whole of existence itself that requires Stage-Yellow multi perspectival thinking to intellectually parse out... but a small child naturally experiences before all the stuff of society is added. But it requires the intellectual skills learned in Yellow to do the exploration, deconstruction, and subtraction necessary to get to the core of being. It's a bit like Nietzsche's metaphor of beginning life as the camel that is a beast of burden that society lays all sorts of "stuff" onto. Then, being the lion that tears through and devours all the stuff the camel is burdened by (this is what Stage Yellow allows for). And after we go through the phases of the camel and the lion, we get to be child. So, it's much more like a heart wisdom and an immersive recognition of how the whole and parts are one and the same... and an intuitive recognition of the clockwork of reality and how you are part of it and all of it. And there is a deep recognition of belonging within the whole. It's essentially a recognition of the Dao in yourself and outside of yourself... and a total collapse of the false dichotomy of inside and outside. And this can be used to get tangible results that others might recognize as great results. But not necessarily so. It's more about enriching your relationship to yourself and existence at large. It's not really about getting anywhere... it's about being.

Very interesting! How accurate do you feel the AI was in describing you through these people/characters?

My experience has been that fictional characters and famous role models are a great reflection through which we can find parts of ourselves. This is why kids tend to naturally imitate who they admire... as it gives form to yet formless aspects of the personality.

I thought about it. But I decided against it because others felt more resonant. Here are some that I considered but decided to leave on the cutting room floor, given that I could only do 8... Carl Jung The Hindu God Shiva Alice from Alice in Wonderland Bjork Frida Kahlo Luisa from Encanto Thunderella from Happily Ever After Elrond from the Lord of the Rings Vash the Stampede from Trigun

This is an interesting mixture of characters!

Cool! Thank you for sharing. I looked up the ones I was unfamiliar with. I'm getting a sense of the vibe of the mixture of these personalities.

Yes, just feel when you're interested in listening to music and want to move to it. And notice anything that stands in the way. A lot of this is the process of subtracting resistances rather than adding skills.

What Leo is describing in that blog post is a very spontaneous Feminine energy way of approaching dance and your relationship to your body and your emotions. If you're scheduling it in and doing this kind of calculus, it's a very Masculine energy way to approach things. Even the idea of practicing it is kind of iffy because it treats it like a goal to be achieved... which is also Masculine energy. Too Masculine is stiff and nerdy... and systematized and scheduled... and too controlled... like an algorithmic brain in a jar. To really engage in this, operate spontaneously from how you feel and let it come naturally.

If it comes across as needy or desperate that's a problem. And it shouldn't be excessive or at an extreme imbalance. The thing I'm talking about is much more subtle and just woven in to how he shows up. I wish I could do justice in my description of it. But it's very subtle and mundane but makes a huge difference to how it feels to be in a relationship with a guy. Like if a man is serious about making things work with a woman, he will invest time, energy, and resources into the relationship and into her because that's just how he shows up when he's serious. And you can tell by a few months in how interested he is in pursuing something serious by how much of himself he invests in the relationship.

Just for fun, here's a video project that I created when I was 20 years old and in art school. The assignment was that we had to create a piece of art in a medium that we'd never tried before. And I was mostly focused on 2-d art (drawing and painting. So, I chose claymation. And I found a story that I wrote about my dog Pickles and my cat Oliver when I was 7 years old that I called "Double Trouble with Pickles and Oliver." I would frequently write stories about my pets back then. But over the course of 3 days... with a couple cans of Play-doh and a camera, I made a stop-motion animation of the story that had over 1000 still images. Enjoy...

It took me 3 days constantly working from 7am to 2am (those were the hours the art studio at my college was open). So... 18-19 hours per day for 3 days straight... which is about 54-57 hours. But I don't do any art now-a-days. Art was at the very center of my life from the time I was 15 until I was 22. Then, I became a mother at 22. And art took a backseat. Like once I was pregnant (which was happening during my senior BFA) I REALLY did not want to make art. I think it was because all of my creative energy was turned inward. But I was in my last year of college... so I had to push through and make some paintings (they're the pictures of the large heads of my husband with him standing in front of them, which I've added below). But I was really resistant to it. I made one painting when my daughter was a baby of me nursing her, which I never finished. (which I've also posted below) But that was the last complete painting that I made from my own inspiration. From 24-26, I was a high school graphic design teacher... and also a drawing and painting teacher. So, I did lots of art to demo the projects I was having them do. But none of that was really speaking to me in a deep way, though it was good to sharpen the sword. But what my intention is with the new moves I'm making in my business, which will free up some more time for me eventually... is to get back into creating. I want to start painting again... as series of surreal landscapes. And I want to create a book of illustrated fables to teach my insights in a simpler way. I also have an idea for a show that I would like to eventually create... which explores the concept of the Shadow more deeply through the lens of alternate dimensions. So, I anticipate reclaiming creativity in the not so distant future.

Thank you! Here's a plot synopsis... In the story, my dog Pickles and my cat Oliver are out on a walk with me and Pickles breaks the leash and they both run away... leaving me on the ground because I fell over when Pickles broke the leash. Then, they find a ball and they start playing with the ball... but they accidentally knock the ball far away and it goes inside of the door of a spooky mansion. So, Pickles and Oliver go inside the spooky mansion but they're too scared so they run quickly through the house and out the back door because they see the ball in the doorway of the backdoor. And in the back yard of this spooky mansion there is a spooky pond. And this pond is where the swamp monster and the bride of Frankenstein live. And the ball gets pushed over the pond and the swamp monster and the bride of Frankenstein steal the ball and take it under the water with them. And Pickles and Oliver are so scared that they run away. The end!

@LifeEnjoyer Nice! Keep it up! I did open mic comedy once 7 or 8 years ago, and it was fun but a bit stressful to be up in front of everyone.

I don't recommend over-filtering. It's much more intuitive than that. And you should keep your expectations realistic and lead with your heart. What I'm describing is what many women make the mistake of not considering. Hence why it is the advice I'm emphasizing. The intimacy and emotional connection part tends to come easily for most women. And it can even be difficult to sort a man out where there is the potential for intimacy. So, if a woman finds herself having chemistry with a guy... she'd be wise to keep my advice in mind, as these are the things a lot of women tend to throw right out the window when there are some feelings because the feelings are so inviting. And before growing too attached, she'll want to sort out who isn't a good fit or whose feelings for her and investment in her are not at least equal to or greater than hers. If the man's feelings for a woman are equal to or somewhat greater than hers, then things will tend to be more likely to work out. But if the woman likes the man more than he likes her, it's probably not going to work out. Nothing will ever grow there. And she'll get anxious and start chasing which will push him further and further away. My advice is for avoiding the latter situation... which is very common for women and painful, and wastes her time... as plenty of men will still want to hang around because it's convenient. And most women are not taught how to wield that sorting power, so there can be a lot of mis-steps without this information.

I still don't see what the disagreement is. The point of dating is to filter out most people. That's the entire point of the advice is to get really good at sorting. Sort the 99% that doesn't work and isn't compatible to find the 1% that is. And the rest of it is just exactly what I'm saying... or even if not explicitly said, doesn't contradict in any way with what I'm saying.

I think the main thing you're trying to say is that my advice will filter out "marriage guys". But it absolutely won't. That is part of the sorting process for the woman to vet guys based off of longterm compatibility on more than just crushy feelings... and to say no to men who are wishy washy and not that into her. And when you prioritize WHAT you want as the priority, you will naturally pull your energy off of him and back onto yourself and your own boundaries and standards... which gives him space to pursue you and invest in you to earn your appreciation, which is what helps the seeds of love grow for him. That's why I see, "Is he putting in over half of the effort in the courtship process?" as a good litmus test for if he's invested. The things that a lot of women end up doing (and before I learned these things, I did this a TON), is to feel really intense emotions toward a particular guy and begin investing in him and trying to win him over... and sacrificing her boundaries in order to make the relationship work with him. It's really easy for a woman to choose one specific guy who she sees as THE guy for her... and then starting to chase him and pursue him based on potential... and putting him on a pedestal. And that gives him no space to invest or pursue. And that kills it with a guy who does have the seeds of love. And it keeps around low investment situationship guys who just want to hang around and get easy sex.

Yes, if men have the seeds of love for you... those seeds will grow over time. And you can help them grow with the advice in Princess Arabia's video about allowing him to invest and allowing space for his inner child. But if a man does not have the seeds of love for you... there is simply nothing there to grow. The reality is that a man knows quite quickly who he sees as a serious prospect for a longterm romantic relationship and who he will never see in that light... even if she is attractive to him and he likes her as a friend. And a lot of guys look for easygoing low-investment female companionship but will never want to put labels on things or go deeper. And that is what my advice helps women avoid.

It's all observation and experience. My advice is about avoiding low investment situationships... and knowing your boundaries. And through knowing your boundaries you create more space for the man to invest and pursue. There's nothing crazy about this advice. It's pretty straightforward and it works because the greatest power a woman has in finding a good partner is the power of no... and learning to say no to what isn't good for her. Perhaps (if I'm understanding you correctly) you originally felt wishy washy about your partner and didn't feel like you were that into her and saw her as a situationship that you didn't take seriously as a longterm relationship prospect... but over time you grew to fall in love with her? Did I get that right? If not, there's ZERO reason to be arguing with my advice... as it is specifically about weeding out guys that aren't that into you and who don't actually see you as a real relationship prospect. If a guy's not that into you in the beginning... he's going to continue to not be that into you in the future. And you don't want to wast 10 years of your life in an anxiety-producing and unsatisfying situationship where you only ever get breadcrumbs.

I recommend checking out Feminine energy-based dating coaches like Adrienne Everheart, Helena Hart, Rori Raye, Matthew Hussey, Mike Rosenbaum, and the guy whose video you sent me earlier. While every individual has their requirements and deal-breakers, it's not very effective for women to do this kind of calculus as it shifts her mindset out of the Feminine selector role... and has her questioning her value, feeling more insecure, and scarce because "Oh no. What if I get percentages deducted?" This calculus is ultimately counterproductive as the woman must stay in her Feminine frame as the Beloved and ask "Does he fit with me?" instead of being concerned about "Oh no. My score is low. Will he have me?" As a woman, you get what you're willing to tolerate. And if you feel like you're a low value partner, you will tolerate a lot out of desperation... and you'll be unlikely to pair with a man who does value you in particular. But men DO NOT grow to fall in love with you. They're into you or they aren't. They are not persuadable.