Emerald

@electroBeam @Snick My advice is to not let manipulation happen to you or manipulate back. Find someone who isn't going to try to manipulate so you can be yourself. Then it will actually be a comfortable relationship. Being single is better than being manipulated.

There is nothing you can do to change this tendency in her or make her feel more secure, because the issue is not in your court. She is likely emotionally insecure, so it comes out in the form of neediness and jealousy. She would have to first want to change, and then be willing to put in the massive amounts of effort to bring the demons to light that cause the jealousy in the first place. But chances are, she sees herself as justified in her jealousy because "Why would a guy be talking to another girl if his intentions aren't to have sex with her?" This is usually the jealous woman's bedrock belief: that she's competing with all other woman sexually in order to keep her man staying around. So, you talking to another woman is threatening to her because she feels replaceable. You can try to make her feel secure by assuring her that you like her for her and don't want anyone else. But moreso, her inner state is the one that needs work. The best thing you can do is continue to reassure her. It will give her temporary relief but her fears will continue to come up if you have a long term relationship. Just don't let it get so far that you cut off all relationships with female friends. That's when you know that things have gotten incredibly unhealthy and gotten yourself into a relationship prison.

I do understand that you're not interested in writing for the Orlando Sentinel, and your grammatical mistakes don't bother me personally. But (most likely) neither are your friends and family interested in writing for Webster's Dictionary. The point is that people make language mistakes because human beings are fallible. And ultimately, language mistakes are common and don't have a very negative effect in the vast majority of situations. They're not really a strong reason to be upset and most people are able to easily let them go. Nothing bad happens when someone makes the mistake of using the word actor instead of actress because everyone understands the meaning. And it isn't really incorrect to call the Orange County Deputy a police officer. It just isn't as specific as you want it to be. And everyone understands what was meant by it. So, I was wondering why you have such a strong reaction to these types of things. It's not that common, so there may be some emotional reason why you have such an averse reaction. It's understandable that you don't like trolling and projection though. It is really annoying. But my recommendation for that is to just realize that their trolling has nothing to do with you. It's totally a them thing. The only mistake you can make is to get engaged in debate with them. Just ignore them. They hate it when you do that. If you engage, that's what they like.

I may come off as rude when I say this but it isn't my intention. You're having a negative emotional reaction when people say the wrong thing. But if you look at your post, you've made several grammatical errors yourself. What about people mis-speaking or getting things wrong makes you upset? My daughter gets upset when we accidentally mix up words and has a panicky reaction. She sometimes even cries. (She's a little kid btw) We think it's a control thing. She wants everything to be just right and for us to get everything right. So, I'm trying to understand this tendency in her but I can't relate to it. What does it feel like to you when someone mis-speaks? Do you think it's about control for you or something else?

So, that means that you have a budget of about $75 a week for food. If you're the only one eating the food and not going out, then this means that you can eat very well. Proteins- You need about .36 grams of protein per pound of body weight If you eat meat, I recommend purchasing a few packages of meat per week. I usually get my husband and children some shrimp or fish, ground turkey, chicken, and maybe one red meat per week. I never end up spending more than $15 on their meat and we always end up with extra in the freezer if I portion them out and freeze them in ziplock bagged portions. This will be really good in getting your protein needs met as one 2-3 oz serving will usually give you 20+ grams of protein. Also, eggs are cheap and are great protein sources. You can pre-boil them if you like hardboiled eggs. If you're going to do dairy, I recommend doing it in the form of yogurt or kefir which has a lot of protein and is easier to digest. But still do this in moderation. Here are the prices for meats that I usually buy. But I only buy a few types per week. One pound of meat should be good for two to four meal-sized portions. A lot of nutrition resources say to have about 3 oz of meat per meal. So, if a pound of meat cooks down to 12 oz, then you have 4 meal sized portions. So, I recommend buying a food scale (I got mine for $13) to measure freeze your meal portions in individual packages. Remember to get more than 3 oz per package because meat cooks down. Boneless skinless chicken breast - $2 to $4 per pound Ground Turkey- $3 to $4 per pound Shrimp- About $6 per pound (more expensive) Salmon- About $8 to $10 per pound (more expensive) Tilapia- About $5 per pound Steak- I usually buy one steak for my husband that's around $5 or $6. (I cut it in half, so there's two portions) You can also look for deals, which will save you a lot of money. Dairy 32 oz of Greek yogurt - $4.00 Eggs A dozen eggs- less that $2.00 If you plan to do more plant based foods, these are some protein rich foods Canned beans (less than a dollar a can) or bagged beans (which are the same price but take longer to cook) Split Peas (less than a dollar a pound) Lentils (less than a dollar a pound) Peas (sometimes you can find them for 30 cents a can) Tofu (less than $2.00) Soy beans (I buy these at the Asian market where I live and they cost less than $3.00 for a whole bag) Grains- Some good, cheap grains are as follows. If you buy these in bulk you probably won't have to buy them every week. Oatmeal (less than $2.00 for a huge container that may last you months) Whole Wheat Pasta (if you do wheat) (About a dollar per box) Whole grain sugarless cereals (Anywhere from $2 to $4 per box) Rice (about a dollar for a 16 oz package) Quinoa (a little more expensive but still very cheap for the amount you get) (About $4 or $5 per package) Couscous (About $2.00 per package) Veggie and fruits I recommend buying cheap and frozen because frozen fruits and veggies have a higher nutrient content due to being picked at peak ripeness and immediately frozen. They are also cheap and pre-chopped which will save you money and time. You can usually buy a one pound bag of veggies for around $1. You can also look for cheap fresh fruits and veggies like bananas, apples, carrots, spinach, spaghetti squash, potatoes, roma tomatoes, and a few other basics. It's best to buy your fresh produce at a fruit stand because you'll pay WAY less and usually get better quality because it's more local. I can buy 3/4 of my family's produce at the local market (which is luckily a minute's walk from my home) and I'll come out with 4 or 5 bags of produce for about $20. So, these are some economical options that you can use to piece together a grocery list and meal plan. You should definitely be able to budget and eat a wide variety of foods at the same time. The key is to prep things up as much as you can in advance so that cooking doesn't feel like too much of a chore.

Thanks! I'm glad that you like them. My experience was not as intense as yours. But keep in mind that I smoked weed from the time I was 13 until I was 20. And this experience happened when I was 20. So, weed didn't effect me as much in general as it did when I first started smoking. My experience of smoking weed went one of three ways after I got used to it: 1. I'd have a great chilled out time with my friends and a few illogical insights would come to me; 2. I'd have an intense panic attack; 3. Nothing would happen. This is why I quit when I quit. There just wasn't anything there for me anymore. But when I first started smoking and had no experience with it and no tolerance for it, I laughed a lot. I just couldn't stop, because reality was so hilarious to me. I would look at simple things like the fold of the cushion of a sofa and I'd just start busting out laughing because it was absurd to me somehow. I wouldn't have been able to articulate it then, since I was so young. But in retrospect, it was like I was realizing how the experience of reality could be different and my perceptions of reality were no more or less real than my perceptions in the sober state. So, the hilarity of it was intense for my small worldview and inexperience with altered states of consciousness. But my experience of eating it was very pleasant and chilled out. It was more chilled out and intense than smoking it, and it wasn't anxiety inducing. It was just really positive. Everything was very intense but my feelings were very chilled out. I was hanging out with a friend of mine and we were chatting while watching LOTR, and every little thing just shined a little bit more and made a bigger emotional impression on me. So, there wasn't anything particularly hallucinogenic about it, but it felt like it was a borderline psychedelic experience. So, there are elements of your experience that remind me of what you experienced, but I think yours was a bit more intense than mine. Mine was a very easy and enjoyable ride. Yours seems like it was more than that.

I wouldn't eat more than a few bananas a day. Bananas are binding food and can cause constipation as they don't have much fiber. Also, bananas don't have all the nutrients that you need for a well-rounded diet. So, I definitely recommend a lot more variety. Plus, 15 bananas a day is about 1500 calories or more which is about 75% of the average human being's diet. So, that seems like way too much. But I understand that it's tempting because it's relatively cheap to buy bananas and eat them that way. If you don't mind my asking, what is your weekly budget for food. I can strip down to the bare basics so that eating healthy is still doable on your budget. Edit: Also, bananas only have about 1.5 grams of protein per banana. This would leave you with only 22.5 grams of protein if you ate 15 bananas. As a 125 lb female, I need at least 46 grams of protein to meet the recommended daily needs. If you weigh more, especially if you're male, you'll need even more than this to meet your daily intake needs. So, you'd have to be sure to meet your macronutrient intake too.

Here are some dishes that I like to make. I'm Vegan, so the suggestions are plant-based but can be modified to fit your diet. And I'll give you quick ones too. If you see anything you're interested in, let me know and I'll give you more details. -Breakfast: Oatmeal with mixed berries (frozen berries are cheaper and surprisingly have a higher nutrient count) Smoothies (I make mine with frozen berries and mangos or cherries, one banana, orange juice, Gogi berries, and chia seeds, but I always do one cup of blueberries because of the antioxidants) Fruit Salad -Lunch Chick-pea salad (you can do this as a sandwich too) Burrito Bowl Veggie Wrap -Dinner Rice and beans Mashed Potatoes and Parsnips Stir-fried frozen veggies with sweetened soy sauce Any steamed veggies (Frozen is also good for veggies and very convenient) Quinoa (made various ways) -Pastas Marinara Pasta Avocado Pesto Pasta Pumpkin Coconut Pasta (sounds weird but it's great) -Soups Oven Roasted Creamy Tomato Soup Leek and Potato Soup Daikon and Cabbage Soup Miscellaneous Vegetable Soup -Salad Large salad with 3+ types of greens (Arugula, Spinach, Watercress, Cress, Spring Mix, Chard, Kale, etc.) I try to make mine with every color in it but blue (In the words of George Carlin... There's no blue food ) So, I'll do carrots, heirloom tomatoes, sprouts, and purple cabbage, -Snacks Mixed nuts (in moderation as they're high in calories. I usually pre-portion these by the ounce) Larabars (contains dates, nuts, cocoa powder, and non dairy extra dark (72% or above) chocolate... no extra sugar other than what's in the dark chocolate.) Fruit Tortilla chips and guacamole or Tortilla chips and hummus Carrot and Celery Sticks with hummus Most of these things can be pre-made days in advance and are convenient just to grab and eat if you're pressed for time. Prep is fairly minimal for most of these.

@nexusoflife It really is a trip to eat it. I smoked all through my teen years on a regular basis, but my experiences were never what I would call psychedelic feeling, even when they were intense. But when I ate it in the form of a brownie in college, I watched the first Lord of the RIngs movie as I never had before. I didn't hallucinate per say. But it made all my senses a lot more intense and I was totally present with each individual sensation in a way that was kaleidoscope-like but not overwhelming. I felt a lot of wonderment at things I would normally see as mundane or overdone.

Yes, life purpose and self-actualization are (99 times out of 100) very ego-driven pursuits. People don't get into these big interests by feeling that they are enough. Self-actualization is just another form of grasping and running away from the truth. However, if you're drawn to it, you should do it and do it with awareness and intensity. You have to let the river go where it flows. And the only way out is through. So, conversely, self-actualization is antithetical to enlightenment but is also part of the path. But self-actualizers and goal setters are even further away from enlightenment than the average person. But they are closer to going full circle too. Self-actualizers are more likely to come full circle than the average person. There is no point to anything here, and it's beautiful if you have the eyes to see it.

I find that to be very true. And it's the unawareness of the emotional/bodily reactions that our mind automatically triggers thoughts. Then, we lose sight of the body emotions and bypass them because we get distracted by the mind.

My advice is to make it clear that you're attracted to him without actually telling him verbatim. Give him little subtle invites. Like if a guy was too afraid to make the first move but I suspected he liked me I'd say something to him like, "Oh you're such a gentleman... you should really quit that." This shouldn't be out of nowhere but should fit with the conversation and be very good natured. Also, you can touch him in playful but platonic ways. When you see him, sneak up behind him and put your hands over his eyes. Give him a hug when you part ways. Ask him what he's thinking about. Little hints like this will give him a clearer message. If he still doesn't approach but seems interested, you can always ask him out too.

I can relate to this so much that it hurts. I know what to do, and yet I don't seem to want to do it. Basically, you have to train yourself to become aware of being sucked into thoughts whenever it's happening, and then force yourself to cut off the internal conversation. It will keep coming back again and again, and you just have to create a practice of letting go and not getting sucked into the mental chatter. So, it's a matter of practicing and not falling into your old patterns through cultivating awareness and not being lazy. It's like cultivating "letting go" muscles. It's like an annoying person who won't leave you alone and keeps trying to spark up all kinds of conversations with you. You just have to stop talking to that person and ignore them and walk away. Talking to them strengthens their ability to drag you into conversation. You can practice this in meditation but you'll want to do this throughout the entire day to truly let go of this tendency.

Ultimately, you don't have to care what others think about you or how your success makes them feel. But you also have to understand that it can make people feel bad, due to their own self-judgments. Most people are incapable of self-love due to their conditioning. So, through no fault of your own, your successes will trigger other's suffering. But I think it's very important to try to lift others up as much as possible, especially since they are not separate from you. Don't make the assumption that their feelings are irrelevant to you. The sense of internal and external is false, so all of your internal and external experiences inform one another. Sickness inside equals sickness outside. Sickness outside equal sickness inside. The same situation applies to wellness as well. If you want to minimize this effect of making others feel negative and actually make others feel better, you can avoid talking about your successes in front of them. You can also give them genuine compliments that lift their spirits and inspire them. Most people really need this type of reinforcement and reassurance. Definitely, look upon them without a sense of superiority and judgment, because they may be picking up on any superior feelings that you have or any subtle compulsion to dominate others through your personal prowess. And ultimately, you want to realize that your life path isn't any better than theirs in the long run. It may be healthier, but there is no true better or worse in the long run. A healthy life and an unhealthy life are equal in value. You can never make yourself or your life more valuable than anyone else. Another thing to keep in mind is that you may (or may not) be attracting this to yourself in life because you actually want it. If you have an inferiority/superiority complex, where you feel best when you have others to compare yourself to that you perform better than. It will give you many opportunities to compare yourself and feel better about yourself through affirming your superiority. I don't know if this is true of you, but it's definitely a psychological pattern to be aware of. This tends to be an unconscious thought pattern that people can easily lie to themselves about.

This is an excellent metaphor. I have always been seeking knowledge with intense curiosity, for my entire life. It was only during my ego-transcendence experiences, that I had absolutely zero craving for knowledge. I didn't need to learn anything at all. I already knew everything that I needed to know in the form of access to infinite wisdom. But I had no desire to hoard or rifle through that wisdom either. I was content in simply using wherever it was needed and leaving the rest. But I suspect it is, in part, my knowledge seeking that has lead me to be able to experience transcendence in the first place. I recognized that transcendence was always what I was seeking in my knowledge seeking pursuits, despite not knowing that I was seeking it. So, @How to be wise , this is how I would answer your question. If you are intuitively drawn to seek knowledge, then seek it with utmost intensity. But if you find that you are using knowledge just to fill your mindspace with more knowledge and you don't feel a sense of expansion from it, then you know that it's time to let go of knowledge seeking and simply spend time being. You will know when you're using knowledge to avoid being because it will feel like you're straining yourself and will feel drained afterward. But if you're still in the knowledge seeking phase and that's where you're supposed, you will feel very passionately drawn to it and it will feel expansive. It's because your knowledge is helping you let go of the mental limits you set for yourself. This process is more about using knowledge to subtract knowledge and create space in the mind, like in the thorn metaphor. Then, once you've cleared space in the mind, you can then just be and observe reality for what it is much more easily.

I agree with this. That's really my main point. You can know what works as a man in the dating game, but hearing WHY it works is also very important for those seeking a longterm relationship. And you'll want to have a neutral woman's perspective for this with a high degree of self-awareness... though don't ask the girl you like. This is especially true for the type of partner you want to attract and for which purposes. I can tell you what turns me off really easily, and if I perceive a guy to be manipulative or outright trying to make me feel bad, I will lose attraction. It's happened to me many times before. I just lose interest. Some women are attracted to that though. But these women tend to be very neurotic and get into mutually toxic relationships.

I've had sleep paralysis and OBEs for almost 15 years. I made several videos on the topic along with lucid dreaming. You can also ask me specific questions too.

Thank you for this. I had heard Eckhart Tolle talk about the Pain Body in passing after watching a handful of his videos. And I have known to focus my awareness on pain. But this video makes it clear why I tend to be attracted to negative things and things that are going to ruffle my feathers. I find that I'm always looking to distract myself in things that irk or salt old wounds. And then I find myself getting a bit passive aggressive at times in response.

@Snick @Joseph Maynor This song always reminds me of that time and my foolishness...

Unless your 'dysfunction' is something of a chemical based or brain structural based disorder, like Schizophrenia, you will be able to let go of it because it's not really real, even though it seems real and has real consequences for your life. And even if you do suffer from a disorder like this, you can still let go of any psychological baggage that you've picked up through the circumstances of your life. It's just that you have to really dig into the emotions and mindsets that keep the dysfunctions and feelings of inadequacy in place. The best case scenario would be to drop the illusion of the self as it will make it clear that the problems with the self are actually illusions. But Shadow work and other integrative processes can help too. But I would try to remain single until you really work on yourself if you feel like your psychological state would lead you into a dysfunctional relationship. So, you want to first cultivate strong boundaries, assertiveness, a sense of self sufficiency and self respect, and to let go of the need for a relationship. After you feel like you've gotten these traits to about an average level, dating and relationships will likely be a much more pleasant experience instead of something that weighs you down. But the thing is that you have to really want it first. If your sense of 'dysfunction' is serving you in some way that you're not yet aware of, then it will be a difficult thing to let go of. So, if your sense of dysfunction helps you avoid some kind of emotional discomfort, then you have to be willing to face that emotional discomfort head on and take complete ownership of it.

That's true too. But even the wealthy need filters. I was even trying to break down certain safety boundaries which was another type of filter that everyone needs. Even if you realize that all is one... you still can't walk into a lion's den.

Thanks. People thought I was totally crazy when I came to that conclusion and began acting that way. No one knew where I was coming from, and just saw me as very looney. The issue was that I had accessed some 'higher' wisdom before I was spiritually mature enough to handle it. I didn't realize that what's true and what's helpful are two totally different things. Truth undoes reality, so it almost always works against practical functioning if you try to apply higher wisdom where more practical wisdoms are more appropriate. And wisdom remembered through memory and the lens of logic is no longer wisdom. Wisdom changes moment to moment like a river.

But why did you respond to my comment to Electrobeam, if you didn't want to continue talking to me? It's because you want to be my best friend, isn't it? But you have a good night.

That's true. Which is why I recommended avoiding using any negative emotion inducing pick up techniques when searching for a long-term relationship. Don't get caught up in the scarcity mindset. Healthy women do exist, and you will be able to find some of them that are attracted to you as long as you yourself are psychologically healthy and stable. There are many dysfunctional people in society but you can always find someone who isn't dysfunctional. And you're better off being alone than with a dysfunctional person... especially if your goal is to self-actualize. Solitude is a lot more friendly. I do understand that you have some experience with dating women and attracting women, and I'm not trying to take any progress away from you. I'm sure that you know how to do the attraction and initial part just fine. But this is only the very beginning of things. I'm not really talking about the attraction part (as in your make-up example)... I'm talking about the later consequences of who you attract. Make-up attracts a variety of men: healthy and unhealthy. So, men being attracted to a woman who wears make-up won't tell you much about his character. You have to use other ways to find out. Negative emotions only attract a certain type of women who are very unhealthy, and will eventually cause strain on your life if it turns serious. The attraction based on negative emotions, in itself, is the litmus test. I have also spent almost twelve years of my life (between two different partners) in committed relationships where we lived together. And if you haven't co-habitated with a dysfunctional partner and been in a serious relationship for more than six months, then you have no idea how dark and depressing your life can get simply because of your choice in partners. Anyone who has been in an unhealthy relationship will tell you this. What I've found is that you can only ever be as happy as your partner is. And if your partner is chronically negative or having issues, then you will not be able to be happy. It's like being in prison. And if your partner is unstable, then you will be unstable. But you do have to attract a girl first. So, you want to make sure that the girl you attract is psychologically healthy and stable. And women who respond with attraction to negativity are usually the opposite. Feel okay with having high standards in this way. Remember you don't need a relationship, you want a relationship. And if you want sweetness in your relationship, avoid attracting women through negging or making them feel negative in some way. As you become more psychologically healthy, women who mirror your tendencies will be more attracted to you. But I understand that you're in a relationship, so I hope that works out well.

I understand your thought, and it's not all wrong. First off, definitely don't ask the woman you're attracted to what she's attracted to. That messes up the dynamic and makes things awkward. But on a more relevant note, it is true that you may understand from the outside what works in the field better than a woman who has never examined her internal reactions very much. And many women haven't. But as a woman who is about a decade older than you, who has done a lot of introspection, I can tell you that different pick up techniques work for different reasons on different types of people. So, you, as a man, can definitely know what works. But I know what works and why it works. And the WHY is very important if you're looking for a long-term relationship like the creator of this thread. Creating negative emotions in a woman will send a sane woman who has high self-esteem in the opposite direction. She will recognize the manipulation tactic of purposefully negging her and determine that the man is not worth her time. This woman knows that she'll get whatever she's willing to accept. But a woman with a lot of self-esteem issues will be even more attracted to you because she will be driven to prove her worth to you and seek your approval. This might seem like a positive thing from a pick-up perspective, and it does make for an easy one-night-stand. But for a long term relationship, you will be getting yourself into a very negative situation with an emotionally vampiric person. So, since Jordan Wang is 18 years old with a lot of life ahead of him, my advice is to avoid that tactic to avoid getting into a commitment with this type of person.