Emerald

When a person is enlightened, they have completely disidentified with the separate sense of self. They have a real firsthand experience that there is nothing in existence that is NOT themselves. So, unconditional love comes effortlessly because they experience the truth of oneness. However, attempting unconditional love from the average level of consciousness can only be abstract and ego-driven. If you still identify as a separate self, unconditional love is impossible. So, most attempts at unconditional love are premature and ego-driven, which is a hard bullet to bite. If unconditional love is real it comes about effortlessly. So, don't expect too much of yourself too soon. Work on expanding your consciousness and you will gradually remember your ability to really love.

Well, I think you may be referring to the ox riding metaphor. Some spiritual teachers, like Shinzen Young, describe full-blown enlightenment as 'riding an ox backwards.' It is referred to in this way because an enlightened person has totally relinquished the idea that they have control over anything. This allows them to flow with life, completely in tune with the source. However, there are levels of progress toward this state. So, someone may experience a glimpse of enlightenment and an expansion of consciousness, but not live it as a permanent state of being. I recommend looking into Shinzen Young's two Youtbe channels titled 'expand contract' and ''Shinzen Young.' He has more info on this metaphor.

My advice is to make it a part of your daily routine, just like brushing your teeth. Start with 10-20 minutes at first, and once you've made a habit out of that you can add more minutes to your daily practice as you progress. Don't go into it with the mindset the you have to sit for at least an hour. Unless you're like Leo, this will likely be a recipe for failure because it's too big of a commitment too soon.

The ego will manufacture obstacles to keep you from enlightenment. It doesn't want to have its importance undercut. Your exhaustion is likely a very sneaky thing your ego is doing to derail your progress. Be mindful of the exhaustion itself and you may become conscious that it isn't real bodily fatigue but psychologically created emotional fatigue sent from the ego to act as a protection mechanism. My advice is to push through the difficult emotions, and continue on the path.

Being a sentient being (or a living organism in general) entails self-interest. There is no way to escape self-interest in a genuine way, even from an enlightened perspective. However, the enlightened have dis-identified with the separate self and thus realize that the self encompasses everything in existence. So, from an enlightened perspective, helping others IS self interest. However, make no mistake that any attempt to be helpful is influenced by self-interest. But it is just as self-interested NOT to do it, so go ahead and help... but be mindful. Notice how your desire for selflessness is self interested.