Emerald

That's okay. Don't feel like you need to respond. But you can use it as a reference when you're trying to put together a grocery list within your budget. You can get an idea of what you want to buy before you go so that you can buy a variety of food within your budget. Now, these are U.S. prices that are specifically from my knowledge of shopping in Florida. So, prices may vary. But it will give you a good rule of thumb.

Okay. That makes sense. It means that there's a cause for why this bothers you. My advice, given that you have BPD, is to try to become aware of when you're getting upset. Then, after you've become aware of your emotional state, you can intellectually remind yourself of how these things aren't harmful. So, if you feel negative emotions when someone misspeaks, then you can pause for a moment and realize that you're experiencing these emotions as sensations in the body. Focus just on observing the emotions themselves. Then, you can go through the thought process as to remind yourself that there is no real problem there. Even with BPD, you should be able to ground yourself enough to get past the tough moments.

Well said.

In the context of my channel, you can definitely see that it was inspired by Leo. And I readily admit to that. I really like his thumbnails and wanted to do something similar but different. So, I decided to do expressive gestures like he does... though he didn't invent expressive gestures either. I preferred it to unexpressive thumbnails and straight on head shots. But I also have a different background and different lettering. So, I have no shame in taking strong inspiration from Leo in this way. It would be inauthentic to decide not to do what I want with my thumbnails simply because someone had already done it. But my channel is by no means a copy channel of Leo's. If you watch my videos, you will see that Leo and I cover some similar topics but in a completely different way. Our perspectives are actually very different. For example, Leo likes to set himself as an example and urges people to sort of get with it and keep up. He tends to appeal to people's idealism. I, on the other hand, like to give a lot of personal anecdotes as to say "here's what I've noticed as a fallible human being." So I tend to appeal to people's vulnerability. But given that you believe my channel to be a copy of Leo's, it means that you're basing this only on my thumbnails. Watch my videos, and you will see a huge difference. But the ego is the thing that thinks it can follow a unique path to begin with. It's the one that thinks it needs to be "the different one" or "the one that stands out." But the only real way to be authentic is to just let your preferences and emotions be what they are without the attachment to "being the unique one." My recommendation is to go back to what I wrote before when you have a clear head and give it some honest consideration. It can be very threatening to tell a person that their differences don't add value or significance to them. There is no amount of uniqueness that will make you more or less valid than you already are. Just do what you feel is right. It's all you can do. Don't even pay attention to what others are doing. The reality is, you are a basic raccoon amongst billions of other basic raccoons. What are the odds that you'd be the one raccoon that really breaks the mold? The point is... "Who cares what a raccoon does... other than raccoons, of course?" So, a wise raccoon does whatever it wants to do even if it's the most basic raccoon nonsense that there is. A foolish raccoon tries to take over the entire world and be the special raccoon. Meanwhile, a foolish human laughs at the raccoon and says, "Silly raccoon. It doesn't even know that humans own the world!"

My interpretation is that you seem to have a limiting and untrue belief that goes something like, "I have to be unique and completely uninfluenced by others in order to be authentic." But uniqueness and authenticity are not the same thing, even if culture tells you so. We tend to equate non-conformity and uniqueness with authenticity. You see this type of logic a lot with many people in the "alternative" crowds who are trying to be unique and tend to look down on "conformists" for being "fake". But they also often fail to see their own kind of conformity and fakeness during the entire thought process. There is no need to break any molds in order to be authentic. You can find that the most average person can be 100% more authentic than someone who strives to be unique. So, I would shift from prioritizing independence and uniqueness to true authenticity. That means that you do whatever feels right, even if someone else (or everyone else) is doing it. It's easy to be the first person and only person to do something, but it's very hard to be the 9th person doing something, if you're the type that tries to stand out. And there really is nothing new under the sun. You'll find a lot of people will only enjoy things as long as it's not popular. Then, once it becomes popular, their feelings change. That's because (first off) they never really liked the thing that much to begin with. They just liked the idea of liking it because it adds to their "unique" identity. And (second) because they talked themselves out of any positive feelings they had about the thing because they don't want to undermine their "unique" identity. They don't want to be like the other "conformists" and "sheeple" that they judge so harshly in their attempts to love themselves through affirming their superiority via the vehicle of uniqueness. Now, don't also fall over on the other side of the horse. There will be emotions that you feel that are genuinely different from most people. So, you must also be brave enough to follow your authenticity through to non-conforming actions. So, you must let your emotions guide you in order to be authentic. Whether other people are or are not doing it is irrelevant. Conformity and uniqueness are just different terrains that your authenticity will likely travel through. Let it go wherever it wants to go in either of these terrains and you won't be confused. You are not the terrain, you are the thing that travels through it.

That's a good point. But I'd imagine that it's not too much different now than it was then. People have never not been people, even if social patterns have changed a bit with the rise in social media.

I'd say that those are good ideas. Introducing them could alleviate her fears if they aren't deep fears. If I were in @electroBeam's shoes, I'd sit down and really talk with her about it and assure her that he won't ever deceive her. He will always be straight forward with his intentions, so she'll never have to wonder. And to not worry about his female friends because he's not interested in them. But I would also set her straight that he will continue to have female friends and interact with women because that's just how the world works. But also reassure her that he'll never do anything to make her feel less in any way.

Yes. Certainly her emotions are exactly as they should be considering where she's at psychologically. I'm not invalidating the fact that she feels that way. But I'm also saying that it's likely for her to try to control the relationship because of her emotions. It's important that she works on herself, otherwise the relationship will be unhealthy. Unhealthy people can't make a healthy relationship.

That's actually not true because it's not based on any real research. It's one of those things that is meant to induce fear in people so they're more likely to buy things. Here's another source that's based in a study... "Many research studies attempt to estimate exactly how many people engage in infidelity, and the statistics appear reliable when studies focus on sexual intercourse, deal with heterosexual couples, and draw from large, representative, national samples. From the 1994 General Social Survey of 884 men and 1288 women, 78% of men and 88% of women denied ever having extramarital (EM) sex (Wiederman, 1997). The 1991-1996 General Social Surveys report similar data; in those years 13% of respondents admitted to having had EM sex (Atkins, Baucom, & Jacobson, 2001). In the 1981 National Survey of Women, 10% of the overall sample had a secondary sex partner. Married women were the least likely (4%), dating women more likely (18%), and cohabiting women most likely (20%) to have had a secondary sex partner (Forste & Tanfer, 1996). […]"

It's not a nightmare situation that she is jealous. That's just an emotion that she feels. I've felt jealous before. It's a human thing that comes up here and there... unless it's a chronic issue as it is for some. In this case, you should be able to be vulnerable enough to communicate your insecurity to your partner, realize that it's not healthy, and try to let it go. A healthy partner will understand and validate your emotions and will communicate what he feels about it too. However, if she thinks that her emotions of jealousy are justification for placing controls on her partner, then that is a nightmare situation. It will suck her partner's soul dry, especially if it turns into something serious. Life will be a prison, and there will be no peace in life. No one should have to stop doing normal things to make another person feel more secure, and that includes talking to other women. My rule of thumb is that having a relationship should not interrupt the normal flow of your humanity. Your partner should not be the boundary between you and living a full, free, and peaceful life.

I agree with this entirely. You have to realize that neither of you owns one another, even if you've decided to be in a relationship. So, your partner can leave at any time. But this is no need to feel insecure. If the relationship is supposed to go on, it will. And if it's meant to cease, it will. When I met my husband, I didn't want a relationship because I didn't want to add the noise of 'forever' as I had in my previous relationship. It was one of many factors that made that relationship hell. But I really liked my husband so I said that we'd take it one day at a time and not take things too seriously. So, I told him he could literally do whatever he wanted to do regarding being with someone else and it still is the case. And he's tried to be even and extend me the same courtesy but it makes him less comfortable because he didn't directly have this relationship insight like I did. Neither of us have taken each other up on this freedom, but it really matters that it's there. No one should ever have to box themselves into a relationship. And definitely always be 100% honest in a relationship. Otherwise, there is really no relationship there at all. You'll both always be on completely different pages. Normal relationships are definitely rotten to the core, and even more rotten when people believe that they need to manipulate the other to get their emotional needs met. You should be able to communicate these things to your partner without childish manipulation games. People who believe that manipulation is a good relationship tactic or that they can change their partner are in for a life that's literally a living hell. And for what? Just to have a relationship. It just isn't worth it without mutual honesty and genuine concern for the other's well-being.

@electroBeam @Snick My advice is to not let manipulation happen to you or manipulate back. Find someone who isn't going to try to manipulate so you can be yourself. Then it will actually be a comfortable relationship. Being single is better than being manipulated.

There is nothing you can do to change this tendency in her or make her feel more secure, because the issue is not in your court. She is likely emotionally insecure, so it comes out in the form of neediness and jealousy. She would have to first want to change, and then be willing to put in the massive amounts of effort to bring the demons to light that cause the jealousy in the first place. But chances are, she sees herself as justified in her jealousy because "Why would a guy be talking to another girl if his intentions aren't to have sex with her?" This is usually the jealous woman's bedrock belief: that she's competing with all other woman sexually in order to keep her man staying around. So, you talking to another woman is threatening to her because she feels replaceable. You can try to make her feel secure by assuring her that you like her for her and don't want anyone else. But moreso, her inner state is the one that needs work. The best thing you can do is continue to reassure her. It will give her temporary relief but her fears will continue to come up if you have a long term relationship. Just don't let it get so far that you cut off all relationships with female friends. That's when you know that things have gotten incredibly unhealthy and gotten yourself into a relationship prison.

I do understand that you're not interested in writing for the Orlando Sentinel, and your grammatical mistakes don't bother me personally. But (most likely) neither are your friends and family interested in writing for Webster's Dictionary. The point is that people make language mistakes because human beings are fallible. And ultimately, language mistakes are common and don't have a very negative effect in the vast majority of situations. They're not really a strong reason to be upset and most people are able to easily let them go. Nothing bad happens when someone makes the mistake of using the word actor instead of actress because everyone understands the meaning. And it isn't really incorrect to call the Orange County Deputy a police officer. It just isn't as specific as you want it to be. And everyone understands what was meant by it. So, I was wondering why you have such a strong reaction to these types of things. It's not that common, so there may be some emotional reason why you have such an averse reaction. It's understandable that you don't like trolling and projection though. It is really annoying. But my recommendation for that is to just realize that their trolling has nothing to do with you. It's totally a them thing. The only mistake you can make is to get engaged in debate with them. Just ignore them. They hate it when you do that. If you engage, that's what they like.

I may come off as rude when I say this but it isn't my intention. You're having a negative emotional reaction when people say the wrong thing. But if you look at your post, you've made several grammatical errors yourself. What about people mis-speaking or getting things wrong makes you upset? My daughter gets upset when we accidentally mix up words and has a panicky reaction. She sometimes even cries. (She's a little kid btw) We think it's a control thing. She wants everything to be just right and for us to get everything right. So, I'm trying to understand this tendency in her but I can't relate to it. What does it feel like to you when someone mis-speaks? Do you think it's about control for you or something else?

So, that means that you have a budget of about $75 a week for food. If you're the only one eating the food and not going out, then this means that you can eat very well. Proteins- You need about .36 grams of protein per pound of body weight If you eat meat, I recommend purchasing a few packages of meat per week. I usually get my husband and children some shrimp or fish, ground turkey, chicken, and maybe one red meat per week. I never end up spending more than $15 on their meat and we always end up with extra in the freezer if I portion them out and freeze them in ziplock bagged portions. This will be really good in getting your protein needs met as one 2-3 oz serving will usually give you 20+ grams of protein. Also, eggs are cheap and are great protein sources. You can pre-boil them if you like hardboiled eggs. If you're going to do dairy, I recommend doing it in the form of yogurt or kefir which has a lot of protein and is easier to digest. But still do this in moderation. Here are the prices for meats that I usually buy. But I only buy a few types per week. One pound of meat should be good for two to four meal-sized portions. A lot of nutrition resources say to have about 3 oz of meat per meal. So, if a pound of meat cooks down to 12 oz, then you have 4 meal sized portions. So, I recommend buying a food scale (I got mine for $13) to measure freeze your meal portions in individual packages. Remember to get more than 3 oz per package because meat cooks down. Boneless skinless chicken breast - $2 to $4 per pound Ground Turkey- $3 to $4 per pound Shrimp- About $6 per pound (more expensive) Salmon- About $8 to $10 per pound (more expensive) Tilapia- About $5 per pound Steak- I usually buy one steak for my husband that's around $5 or $6. (I cut it in half, so there's two portions) You can also look for deals, which will save you a lot of money. Dairy 32 oz of Greek yogurt - $4.00 Eggs A dozen eggs- less that $2.00 If you plan to do more plant based foods, these are some protein rich foods Canned beans (less than a dollar a can) or bagged beans (which are the same price but take longer to cook) Split Peas (less than a dollar a pound) Lentils (less than a dollar a pound) Peas (sometimes you can find them for 30 cents a can) Tofu (less than $2.00) Soy beans (I buy these at the Asian market where I live and they cost less than $3.00 for a whole bag) Grains- Some good, cheap grains are as follows. If you buy these in bulk you probably won't have to buy them every week. Oatmeal (less than $2.00 for a huge container that may last you months) Whole Wheat Pasta (if you do wheat) (About a dollar per box) Whole grain sugarless cereals (Anywhere from $2 to $4 per box) Rice (about a dollar for a 16 oz package) Quinoa (a little more expensive but still very cheap for the amount you get) (About $4 or $5 per package) Couscous (About $2.00 per package) Veggie and fruits I recommend buying cheap and frozen because frozen fruits and veggies have a higher nutrient content due to being picked at peak ripeness and immediately frozen. They are also cheap and pre-chopped which will save you money and time. You can usually buy a one pound bag of veggies for around $1. You can also look for cheap fresh fruits and veggies like bananas, apples, carrots, spinach, spaghetti squash, potatoes, roma tomatoes, and a few other basics. It's best to buy your fresh produce at a fruit stand because you'll pay WAY less and usually get better quality because it's more local. I can buy 3/4 of my family's produce at the local market (which is luckily a minute's walk from my home) and I'll come out with 4 or 5 bags of produce for about $20. So, these are some economical options that you can use to piece together a grocery list and meal plan. You should definitely be able to budget and eat a wide variety of foods at the same time. The key is to prep things up as much as you can in advance so that cooking doesn't feel like too much of a chore.

Thanks! I'm glad that you like them. My experience was not as intense as yours. But keep in mind that I smoked weed from the time I was 13 until I was 20. And this experience happened when I was 20. So, weed didn't effect me as much in general as it did when I first started smoking. My experience of smoking weed went one of three ways after I got used to it: 1. I'd have a great chilled out time with my friends and a few illogical insights would come to me; 2. I'd have an intense panic attack; 3. Nothing would happen. This is why I quit when I quit. There just wasn't anything there for me anymore. But when I first started smoking and had no experience with it and no tolerance for it, I laughed a lot. I just couldn't stop, because reality was so hilarious to me. I would look at simple things like the fold of the cushion of a sofa and I'd just start busting out laughing because it was absurd to me somehow. I wouldn't have been able to articulate it then, since I was so young. But in retrospect, it was like I was realizing how the experience of reality could be different and my perceptions of reality were no more or less real than my perceptions in the sober state. So, the hilarity of it was intense for my small worldview and inexperience with altered states of consciousness. But my experience of eating it was very pleasant and chilled out. It was more chilled out and intense than smoking it, and it wasn't anxiety inducing. It was just really positive. Everything was very intense but my feelings were very chilled out. I was hanging out with a friend of mine and we were chatting while watching LOTR, and every little thing just shined a little bit more and made a bigger emotional impression on me. So, there wasn't anything particularly hallucinogenic about it, but it felt like it was a borderline psychedelic experience. So, there are elements of your experience that remind me of what you experienced, but I think yours was a bit more intense than mine. Mine was a very easy and enjoyable ride. Yours seems like it was more than that.

I wouldn't eat more than a few bananas a day. Bananas are binding food and can cause constipation as they don't have much fiber. Also, bananas don't have all the nutrients that you need for a well-rounded diet. So, I definitely recommend a lot more variety. Plus, 15 bananas a day is about 1500 calories or more which is about 75% of the average human being's diet. So, that seems like way too much. But I understand that it's tempting because it's relatively cheap to buy bananas and eat them that way. If you don't mind my asking, what is your weekly budget for food. I can strip down to the bare basics so that eating healthy is still doable on your budget. Edit: Also, bananas only have about 1.5 grams of protein per banana. This would leave you with only 22.5 grams of protein if you ate 15 bananas. As a 125 lb female, I need at least 46 grams of protein to meet the recommended daily needs. If you weigh more, especially if you're male, you'll need even more than this to meet your daily intake needs. So, you'd have to be sure to meet your macronutrient intake too.

Here are some dishes that I like to make. I'm Vegan, so the suggestions are plant-based but can be modified to fit your diet. And I'll give you quick ones too. If you see anything you're interested in, let me know and I'll give you more details. -Breakfast: Oatmeal with mixed berries (frozen berries are cheaper and surprisingly have a higher nutrient count) Smoothies (I make mine with frozen berries and mangos or cherries, one banana, orange juice, Gogi berries, and chia seeds, but I always do one cup of blueberries because of the antioxidants) Fruit Salad -Lunch Chick-pea salad (you can do this as a sandwich too) Burrito Bowl Veggie Wrap -Dinner Rice and beans Mashed Potatoes and Parsnips Stir-fried frozen veggies with sweetened soy sauce Any steamed veggies (Frozen is also good for veggies and very convenient) Quinoa (made various ways) -Pastas Marinara Pasta Avocado Pesto Pasta Pumpkin Coconut Pasta (sounds weird but it's great) -Soups Oven Roasted Creamy Tomato Soup Leek and Potato Soup Daikon and Cabbage Soup Miscellaneous Vegetable Soup -Salad Large salad with 3+ types of greens (Arugula, Spinach, Watercress, Cress, Spring Mix, Chard, Kale, etc.) I try to make mine with every color in it but blue (In the words of George Carlin... There's no blue food ) So, I'll do carrots, heirloom tomatoes, sprouts, and purple cabbage, -Snacks Mixed nuts (in moderation as they're high in calories. I usually pre-portion these by the ounce) Larabars (contains dates, nuts, cocoa powder, and non dairy extra dark (72% or above) chocolate... no extra sugar other than what's in the dark chocolate.) Fruit Tortilla chips and guacamole or Tortilla chips and hummus Carrot and Celery Sticks with hummus Most of these things can be pre-made days in advance and are convenient just to grab and eat if you're pressed for time. Prep is fairly minimal for most of these.

@nexusoflife It really is a trip to eat it. I smoked all through my teen years on a regular basis, but my experiences were never what I would call psychedelic feeling, even when they were intense. But when I ate it in the form of a brownie in college, I watched the first Lord of the RIngs movie as I never had before. I didn't hallucinate per say. But it made all my senses a lot more intense and I was totally present with each individual sensation in a way that was kaleidoscope-like but not overwhelming. I felt a lot of wonderment at things I would normally see as mundane or overdone.

Yes, life purpose and self-actualization are (99 times out of 100) very ego-driven pursuits. People don't get into these big interests by feeling that they are enough. Self-actualization is just another form of grasping and running away from the truth. However, if you're drawn to it, you should do it and do it with awareness and intensity. You have to let the river go where it flows. And the only way out is through. So, conversely, self-actualization is antithetical to enlightenment but is also part of the path. But self-actualizers and goal setters are even further away from enlightenment than the average person. But they are closer to going full circle too. Self-actualizers are more likely to come full circle than the average person. There is no point to anything here, and it's beautiful if you have the eyes to see it.

I find that to be very true. And it's the unawareness of the emotional/bodily reactions that our mind automatically triggers thoughts. Then, we lose sight of the body emotions and bypass them because we get distracted by the mind.

My advice is to make it clear that you're attracted to him without actually telling him verbatim. Give him little subtle invites. Like if a guy was too afraid to make the first move but I suspected he liked me I'd say something to him like, "Oh you're such a gentleman... you should really quit that." This shouldn't be out of nowhere but should fit with the conversation and be very good natured. Also, you can touch him in playful but platonic ways. When you see him, sneak up behind him and put your hands over his eyes. Give him a hug when you part ways. Ask him what he's thinking about. Little hints like this will give him a clearer message. If he still doesn't approach but seems interested, you can always ask him out too.

I can relate to this so much that it hurts. I know what to do, and yet I don't seem to want to do it. Basically, you have to train yourself to become aware of being sucked into thoughts whenever it's happening, and then force yourself to cut off the internal conversation. It will keep coming back again and again, and you just have to create a practice of letting go and not getting sucked into the mental chatter. So, it's a matter of practicing and not falling into your old patterns through cultivating awareness and not being lazy. It's like cultivating "letting go" muscles. It's like an annoying person who won't leave you alone and keeps trying to spark up all kinds of conversations with you. You just have to stop talking to that person and ignore them and walk away. Talking to them strengthens their ability to drag you into conversation. You can practice this in meditation but you'll want to do this throughout the entire day to truly let go of this tendency.

Ultimately, you don't have to care what others think about you or how your success makes them feel. But you also have to understand that it can make people feel bad, due to their own self-judgments. Most people are incapable of self-love due to their conditioning. So, through no fault of your own, your successes will trigger other's suffering. But I think it's very important to try to lift others up as much as possible, especially since they are not separate from you. Don't make the assumption that their feelings are irrelevant to you. The sense of internal and external is false, so all of your internal and external experiences inform one another. Sickness inside equals sickness outside. Sickness outside equal sickness inside. The same situation applies to wellness as well. If you want to minimize this effect of making others feel negative and actually make others feel better, you can avoid talking about your successes in front of them. You can also give them genuine compliments that lift their spirits and inspire them. Most people really need this type of reinforcement and reassurance. Definitely, look upon them without a sense of superiority and judgment, because they may be picking up on any superior feelings that you have or any subtle compulsion to dominate others through your personal prowess. And ultimately, you want to realize that your life path isn't any better than theirs in the long run. It may be healthier, but there is no true better or worse in the long run. A healthy life and an unhealthy life are equal in value. You can never make yourself or your life more valuable than anyone else. Another thing to keep in mind is that you may (or may not) be attracting this to yourself in life because you actually want it. If you have an inferiority/superiority complex, where you feel best when you have others to compare yourself to that you perform better than. It will give you many opportunities to compare yourself and feel better about yourself through affirming your superiority. I don't know if this is true of you, but it's definitely a psychological pattern to be aware of. This tends to be an unconscious thought pattern that people can easily lie to themselves about.