Emerald

Ironically, I'm about half way through "The Book of Not Knowing" right now. I really like the part about questioning the obvious and getting a handle on beliefs v. reality. As they say, paradox and confusion are guards to the truth. So, your advice toward grounding my consciousness will be helpful.

What do you think spurred it on?

I had two, which both lasted several hours. I had many insights including: - I am very self-deceptive - I'm lying to myself about being straight - There is no need to fear death - I don't know myself -I'm constantly striving for a sense of significance in a futile attempt to outrun the reaper - I'm experiencing the phenomena al religions have referred to as God - All wisdom resides within me already - I was with my partner at the time out of fear and not love - Everything is beautiful and in divine order - Inside me is a struggle between life-giving and destructive thoughts - I had no self to protect so, I was able to allow all repressed parts of myself to rise - My parents love me but are misguided by their own life issues - I'm an incredibly unhappy person (only realized through contrast with these experiences) - I'm constantly struggling - All things are one and I'm part of that oneness - I'm not important because of what I do, but because of my existence as part of the eternal force of oneness - I'm repressing my femininity because I value masculinity more - Many others

It's interesting to me that paradoxically spiritual seeking is often necessary for achieving enlightenment, but can also be a distraction from it. I believe that this is one of my hang-ups to getting a non-substance induced experience of oneness. I love thinking, and I use it as a distraction. Do you have any advice or experiences with this?

When I had my experiences, insights came up into my conscious mind effortlessly, like a well-spring. Did you have any insights? If so, what were they?

One thing I experienced was that, instead of thirsting after knowledge as I've always done, I was truly satisfied. I knew that I already had everything that I needed to know inside of myself. Is this how you are now?

It will be very difficult to commit yourself to the emotional labor if you have no faith in enlightenment as a possibility. Paradoxically, holding too tightly to belief or non-belief in enlightenment can impede your progress too. Ask yourself if you have any resistance to belief in enlightenment or faith in general. Resistances of any kind will likely impede your progress.

This is a belief, but it's a belief I hold nonetheless. In almost all religions 'God' is both omnipresent, infinite, and all-knowing. But how can an omnipresent force have knowledge of duality, separateness, and limitation without firsthand experience? So, it is my belief that because the unifying force must know all things, it has tricked itself into believing that it is a separate being called a person to know the experience of separateness and illusion. The ego is god tricking itself into believing that it is a human.

Continue practicing meditation, contemplation, and self-inquiry. You must question all of your most cherished and taken for granted beliefs and assumptions about reality, and especially the ones about yourself. Enlightenment is a subtractive process. You have to empty your cup, so that wisdom may flow into it. It is about getting a firsthand experience of what is true without thoughts or concepts getting in the way.

This is a great question. Because we are so used to valuing things in relation to our egoic self (which is illusory), we have a difficult time understanding things that don't directly benefit the egoic self. What is important to realize is that the egoic self is only a concept that you have created using your thoughts. You go through life making decisions and sacrificing for this illusory sense of self, thinking that it will bring you happiness and fulfillment. But you are throwing all of your energy into maintaining a very heavy, burdensome illusion. So, when you transcend your egoic self, you get a real experience of being. So, ironically, your egoic self is actually obscuring your true nature and keeping you from true happiness. So, enlightenment (self-transcendence) could also be called optimum happiness. Along with this state of being comes complete peace of mind, even in relation to death. When I had my transcendental experiences I felt completely at one with everything in existence, true acceptance of myself, no stress, no fear (even of death), pure creativity and wisdom from the deepest wellspring of my being, unconditional love, and total authenticity. Trading the egoic self for transcendence is like trading a penny for a billion dollars... when you still get to keep the penny.

When a person is enlightened, they have completely disidentified with the separate sense of self. They have a real firsthand experience that there is nothing in existence that is NOT themselves. So, unconditional love comes effortlessly because they experience the truth of oneness. However, attempting unconditional love from the average level of consciousness can only be abstract and ego-driven. If you still identify as a separate self, unconditional love is impossible. So, most attempts at unconditional love are premature and ego-driven, which is a hard bullet to bite. If unconditional love is real it comes about effortlessly. So, don't expect too much of yourself too soon. Work on expanding your consciousness and you will gradually remember your ability to really love.

Well, I think you may be referring to the ox riding metaphor. Some spiritual teachers, like Shinzen Young, describe full-blown enlightenment as 'riding an ox backwards.' It is referred to in this way because an enlightened person has totally relinquished the idea that they have control over anything. This allows them to flow with life, completely in tune with the source. However, there are levels of progress toward this state. So, someone may experience a glimpse of enlightenment and an expansion of consciousness, but not live it as a permanent state of being. I recommend looking into Shinzen Young's two Youtbe channels titled 'expand contract' and ''Shinzen Young.' He has more info on this metaphor.

My advice is to make it a part of your daily routine, just like brushing your teeth. Start with 10-20 minutes at first, and once you've made a habit out of that you can add more minutes to your daily practice as you progress. Don't go into it with the mindset the you have to sit for at least an hour. Unless you're like Leo, this will likely be a recipe for failure because it's too big of a commitment too soon.

The ego will manufacture obstacles to keep you from enlightenment. It doesn't want to have its importance undercut. Your exhaustion is likely a very sneaky thing your ego is doing to derail your progress. Be mindful of the exhaustion itself and you may become conscious that it isn't real bodily fatigue but psychologically created emotional fatigue sent from the ego to act as a protection mechanism. My advice is to push through the difficult emotions, and continue on the path.

Being a sentient being (or a living organism in general) entails self-interest. There is no way to escape self-interest in a genuine way, even from an enlightened perspective. However, the enlightened have dis-identified with the separate self and thus realize that the self encompasses everything in existence. So, from an enlightened perspective, helping others IS self interest. However, make no mistake that any attempt to be helpful is influenced by self-interest. But it is just as self-interested NOT to do it, so go ahead and help... but be mindful. Notice how your desire for selflessness is self interested.