Emerald

I've experienced ego transcendence, and I can't think of any cons to being that way... other than "losing it" and not knowing how to function thereafter. And knowing what you're missing out on because you've truly tasted freedom. That's the part that sucks. Being in a prison where you realize that you're in a prison because you once found a way out. And knowing that the key is right in front of you but you just can't see it. From your post, in accordance with my (limited) experiences of being beyond ego, it seems like you take the "losing your life" thing to mean something that it doesn't. When I lost "Emerald", it wasn't like reality actually changed. It was all the same, but I was 10,000 times more 'there.' Not only was I in life, I was connected with life itself. The main thing that happened, was that I was just freed from the chains of believing in an "Emerald" that didn't exist. So, I didn't have to act like an "Emerald", and I didn't have to preserve an "Emerald." I didn't need to do the bidding of "Emerald." "Emerald" was just an idea floating around in my head, and had never actually existed. "Emerald" was just an idea that I came up with, and it was a really heavy burden to carry around. I had built a prison out of "Emerald." After I let go of "Emerald", I could just be. And that was more than enough. I didn't need to be enslaved to ideas like "Emerald" that never had anything to do with anything. I was already unshakably valid; always had been and always would be. And I was more fully embodied than I had been in my entire life. So, the only thing that ego transcendence makes you lose is something that was never there to begin with. But this "nothing" is a really heavy "nothing" that we feel like we need to protect at all costs. But it's literally nothing. You lose NOTHING when you transcend the ego. But in losing that "nothing", you set down that heavy invisible burden and become receptive to experiencing what you actually are.

You're welcome.

Thank you.

Generally speaking, it isn't rude by itself. It just matters what you say, how you say it, when you say it, and the vibe you give off. So, there are some contexts when it could be rude. As a woman, there are a few contexts that I don't liked to be approached under. I'll give the main ones and the reason why they're uncomfortable situations and how to avoid them. 1. If I'm in the middle of trying to accomplish something in a focused way - Think about when you're walking through the mall and one of the sale's people at the mall tries to get your attention to talk to you about their product. But you really just wanted to do your own thing. Then, you have to have this weird conversation and be nice to that person. All the while, you just want to be on your way to do the thing that you ACTUALLY wanted to do. That's what it feels like when a guy approaches you when you're in the middle of something. It's frustrating to be interrupted. And she will probably associate you, from the get-go, with the feeling of being annoyed. So, to avoid this, I recommend looking for body language cues. If you see a woman walking briskly in a focused way, she is probably going to a specific place to get something done. So, it's a bad idea to stop her in her tracks just to talk to her. But if you see a woman who is just hanging out and not particularly focused on something, you can try to spark up a conversation. 2. If I'm in a huge crowd of people by myself (unless it's a club or concert something like that) - Women who are by themselves in a crowded place are often bombarded by guys trying to approach them. Now, one guy approaching isn't annoying by itself, as long as he's respectful and positive. But the high frequency of men approaching can be quite annoying. For example, if you've ever played the Gameboy Pokemon game, you walk through the tall grass hoping that a Pokemon won't pop up on you. But then it does, and you're like "UGH! Not again!" So, to avoid this, don't approach women on busy pedestrian streets where she's probably already gotten six approaches that day from random guys. Use some social acuity, and ask yourself "How likely is it that she's already been approached a ton of times already today?" Now, you can still spark up a conversation if the situation is appropriate and natural, but keep it platonic at first. Women appreciate slow courtship and wondering "Is he interested or not?". So, she will appreciate you opening with normal banter. 3. If I'm all alone (especially a night) and the only other person around is the man that's trying to talk to me- This one is pretty self-explanatory. She'll probably be scared because she knows she's vulnerable in that situation. So, making a point to not interact, will be appreciated. I used to have to walk home alone in the middle of the night back when I was in college. So, I did a lot of late night lonely walking. And I've had men try to follow me home and all kinds of other vaguely threatening situations. Then, one night, I was walking alone on a dark road and there was a man behind me about twenty feet back. So, I was afraid of what might occur, and I looked back at him. Then, he said, "Sorry" and averted his eyes. And I immediately felt so much more comfortable because I could tell that he was aware of how I might feel in the situation. Now, I didn't bring him home with me or anything. So, don't think I'm saying that. But exercise that same kind of awareness of the incongruence of the situation. It will be appreciated. You're a man and are most likely stronger than the woman you'd be approaching. And she will be acutely aware of that, and start running through "What if"s in here mind. So, if you're in a situation like that, be considerate of her vulnerability and approach another time. 4. If I'm trying to talk to other people- No one likes to be interrupted or have someone intrude on a conversation or change the subject. So, if a woman is deeply engrossed in a conversation with someone else, don't try to squeeze in there. Just wait until she is done talking to them. Read the body language in the situation. If she looks disengaged you can approach, but if she is listening or talking to another person, then wait. Plus, it opens all kinds of doors for you to be awkward. It will make you look needy and like a third wheel. So, instead, try sparking up a conversation when she's disengaged from other people conversation-wise.

@Zweistein @Sockrattes Thank you!

There is forum for people who suffer from what's called "Maladaptive Daydreaming". It's called Wild Minds. I used to have an issue with it myself, and it was good to hear things from others who had the same problem. But that was just a small step in the right direction. Ultimately, what really helped me let go of it was listening to various spiritual teachers that helped me open my mind up for certain issues to be processed. That was what was causing my Maladaptive Daydreaming because I kept trying to resolve things on a level they couldn't be resolved from my previous level of consciousness. And once I let go of certain non-truths that I was clinging to, the need to disassociate and be in my head all the time naturally fell away.

Generally speaking, there are common patterns of behavior that men tend to gravitate more to and common patterns that women tend to gravitate more to. Some of this comes as a result of social constructs, which often don't have very much to do with our natural feminine and masculine energies at all. And some of it comes as a result of a natural differences between people with more feminine energy (Yin) and people with more masculine energy (Yang). And sometimes it's difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff. Now, there are a ton of exceptions to the rule. There are women who are naturally more masculine and men who are naturally more feminine. But most people are relatively polar with regard to their energy. So, the average man will likely be like 80% masculine and 20% feminine. And the average woman would be like 80% feminine and 20% masculine. It's less common to be more androgynous than that, and it's also less common to be more polar than that. So, there's a small percentage of women who are 90%+ feminine, and a small percentage of men who are 90%+ masculine. There is also a relatively small percentage of people who are more androgynous. And there's a small percentage of people who have significantly more of the opposite energy to their sex. Basically, it all happens on a bell curve, where the middle of the bell curve is where relatively polar people are. So, it's a very complex topic to talk about, because there are a lot of different factors coming into play. But my advice is always to own and exalt whatever happens to be there. So, if you're a man, own, integrate, and exalt both your masculine and feminine energies. But don't contrive something that isn't already there. Also, it's important to realize that you can't change your masculine/feminine ratio, because it is the bedrock pre-conditioned state of your personality. You must simply accept whatever happens to be there, and exalt it to its highest and its deepest.

The video, that I just posted like an hour ago, is all about Spiral Dynamics in relation to the Divine Feminine. But as a woman, I had a very I-centric Orange stage in high school and early college. So, I would imagine that the individualistic focus and collective focuses, will apply to everyone in that phase regardless of gender.

@seaneyboyjazz Nice!

Uncannily, all of my most recent videos are highly related to this topic. I'm releasing one tomorrow about Spiral Dynamics and the integration of the Divine Feminine. And in relation to that, trying to shift our mostly Orange society over to Green. Then, I did three before it on Yin and Yang, Systems Thinking, and the Reintegration of the Divine Feminine. They're all part of a loosely related series for individual and societal growth.

"I was up above it... now I'm down in it." All the lyrics are so accurate to the changes in my orientation to life over the course of the past decade.

You're welcome woman. In a sense, yes. But not exactly. Basically, by the way you wrote your post, it seems to me like you might be into a self-optimization focused life, where you define everything through the lens of self-optimization. I was like this when I was in my late teens. So, you were mentioning that you feel like you need to seek the love of a woman IN ORDER TO give your gift fully. Meaning, that you feel obligated to find love in order to optimally do another thing... which is the thing you really want to do (aka give your gift). So, finding love is just the means to a relatively unrelated end. So, I was saying that if you look for love as the means to another end, then you won't actually be able to find love. You'll just be looking for someone to fill in the missing piece to your master plan.

I think you have my meaning mistaken. What I'm saying is NOT that faith will attract a woman to you. Attracting a partner is totally different ball-game from this conversation. What I am saying, is that if you see the 'love of a woman' as being the means to an end of something else, instead of as something you genuinely want for what it is, then you won't find love. You'll always be looking for the perfect relationship to be the thing that simply adds to whatever you have going on in your career-oriented ambitions. A relationship will just be an outgrowth of your ambitions, and it won't really be love at all. It'll just be another achievement to add to the list.

I just did it again a second ago. And again, I was completely like, "Someone wants to be Pokemon Prof... Oh yeah! Never Mind!"

When I saw the title to this thread out of the corner of my eye on the main discussions page, I thought you were asking about being a Pokemon Professor.

I personally don't really think it's a great tool for individual personal development because development tends to happen more organically than the system can accurately predict. Plus, the ego just loves to use it to bolster ideas about one's self, which can be a huge damper on development. Having said that, I think it's an awesome tool for understanding how societies evolve. So, I'm really interested in its potentials for social engineering, solving systemic issues, and aiding human development to bring us forward to more conscious and integrated social structures. Plus, it gives me a deeper context to sort all the negativity of the current era to see how it fits as a small piece in a bigger puzzle.

But are you actually accepting your own worthlessness... or just telling yourself that you are? This idea can actually lead to repression and other traps, because there is no such thing as worth or worthlessness. Worth and Worthlessness are just two conjoined imaginary friends. So, if you're trying to convince yourself that you're worthless, that is simply patently false. And you will be abiding in illusion, just falling over on the other side of the illusion. What is actually true, is that what you are is so unshakably valid that ideas of worth and worthlessness just aren't compatible with it. So, instead of accepting your own worthlessness, which is a one way ticket to Nihilism and all its various traps, try to get in touch with what's true by removing falsehoods. Empty your cup. So, instead of adopting another belief about yourself, simply look at reality beyond your framework to see that the ideas of worth and worthlessness are not even real things.

If you are pursuing love because you think it will help you give your gift better, you won't find love. Every romantic relationship will only be a means to that end.

I used to have a feeling in the same place. But it wasn't like a wound, per say. It was painful in an engorged way. It was more like a bubble of repressed emotions. I used to be very adamant about being stoic and not showing emotion. So, I wouldn't let myself cry or really feel much of anything, and it was like that bubble was always in my chest with no way to get out. Luckily, I've since resolved that problem. But I was watching Teal Swan in her Heart Chakra video, where she was talking about 'heart walls' and it made me think of the issue that I used to have with the bubble in my chest. She recommended a particular author who is an expert on heart walls. So, maybe it's one of those. Here is the video. I'm not sure at which point in the video she talks about them though. I hope it helps.

You seriously don't see any systemic issue in this instance of clear cut racism? Then you go into all kinds of abstract thoughts about a person's own smallness and our inability as humans to know how to remedy issues. You're being foolish and using the wrong paradigm for the issue at hand. That's like a starving person asking you for some food, and responding "There is no you. Let go of your ego and stop believing in the illusion a you that needs to eat." Then, you continue munching on the sandwich you were just munching on before you depart feeling proud that you've just imparted some real pearls of wisdom to that ignorant wretch. The fact of the matter is, that people who are in a systemically oppressed group, are going to have to deal with very specific problem behaviors from a sizable minority of people. And that effect compounds over a lifetime. And it's an actual existential threat that they've had to deeply explore, far more than anyone who's not in that group has. So, maybe consider that people in oppressed groups might know a little bit more than you do about what might work. Also, consider the fact that if it gets on your nerves, it's working. If ain't called agitation for no reason.

Glad you see it too.

Perspectives have already emerged organically from many people. It's just that some people don't want to take the time to listen to them, and write them off as short-sighted and neurotic. And because the people that write them off, aren't the ones experiencing the problems, they can just sit comfortably in the status quo waiting for answers that are MORE COMFORTABLE TO THEIR EGO. But those answers are just the ego talking and will only solidify the status quo. Tell a man that things will go back to a traditional society, and he may or may not like it. But he won't be afraid of his place within it. Tell a woman that things will go back to a traditional society, and it's like telling them they won't really be able to be a full person anymore. So, there is an existential danger to all the ideologies being advocated for by Jordan Peterson.

What I honestly think will happen is that people will go further and further toward regressive ideologies to the point where it creates a huge a crisis. And humanity will come out wiser from the crisis, and know that it's not a good road to go down... at least until we hit this point again at a higher point on the spiral. So, in a sense, you could say that people like Jordan Peterson are paving the way toward that crisis that expands collective awareness. So, in the grand scheme of things, surely even the most terrible things bring us forward. That said, I would prefer avoiding crises if at all possible, because in crises people get hurt. And I think that recognizing Jordan Peterson's intentions for what they are and how they're playing into the proliferation of regressive ideologies is important to be able to do.

I love the work of Carl Jung. I spent and entire year immersing myself in the topic of Jungian psychology, and reading everything I could get my hands on. The problem is that he's using Jung's model for his own demagoguery. And he's doing that on a deeper level than most people are aware of, because most people aren't familiar with the Jungian perspective. So, he's got a ton of stuff going on and he seems like he's just entertaining this or that idea. But I see him as very calculated and someone who slips under the radar because of the fact that he's a doctor, he presents as a nice and intelligent man, and he never strays too far from the normal discourse... unless he presents it as just an idea that he as an 'intellectual and open minded' person is toying with.

A lot of people think that Jordan Peterson is a good person... but one more than Jordan Peterson himself.