Emerald

You're welcome! As long as you are mindful, these things should melt away naturally.

This is great. It's exactly what I needed to read. I'm always trying to escape all the time using contemplation and personal development, and there's this constant fear. I find it very difficult to just be still and be with myself without distracting myself with thought. This will help me release resistance to my meditation practice and take it at my own pace. I have a difficult time finding time (or that's what I tell myself- I think I'm actually afraid) so I haven't been very consistent with my meditation practice, missing days all the time. Then I beat myself up because of Leo's 'never skip a day' idea and I feel guilty because I don't feel like I can do this yet as I've had a habit of disassociation since childhood... and I think it makes my resistance worse even though on the conscious level I take this very good advice with a grain of salt, as missing one day won't magically undo progress. I understand it to be more about keeping any practice consistent.

One thing to be careful about is resistance. If you've made the decision 'intellectually' or 'logically' as to what you should give up, this is likely working at cross-purposes to letting go. So, if you have rules that you've made for yourself, like "I shouldn't enjoy _____." or "I shouldn't be doing _______." or "I have to give up ______" This is coming at it from the wrong angle. You must recognize that your desires, including your desire for enlightenment are not something that you can get rid of through willpower or talking yourself out of it. It just becomes unconscious which is the opposite direction than you want to go in. Instead, allow yourself to go head first into whatever your desires come up... but be mindful while you do it. You can then notice more and more of your internal experience and with attention all illusions melt away. Letting go is what you want. Suppression is the opposite of letting go.

Thank you for supporting my channel! I'm glad that you like it.

Well, I can't say that I have experience with this social dynamic as I was raised in America. But if I'm brutally honest, looking at it from an outsider's view, (I hope I don't sound ignorant saying this) I feel really bad for people who live under these seemingly arbitrary social restraints. To me, these ideas and norms seem very pointless and seem to really sap the life out of people. However, I did not grow up in your particular culture, so I don't know if these norms still serve a practical function or if it's just maintaining tradition for the sake of maintaining tradition. But having lived the life that I live now, I would ask myself given that I only have one life, "Do I want to live the life that I want to live?" or "Do I want to live an inauthentic life simply to maintain my family's social status?" Of course, there may be consequences for your parents if you bring shame to the family, that I'm not aware of. Maybe it would get in the way of them living a good life because they wouldn't be allowed to do things that they would normally be allowed to do. So, given this consequence, it would be a tough decision to make. I wouldn't want to deprive my family of their freedom because I want my freedom. But if it's only a maintaining a positive reputation for the sake of maintaining a positive reputation and posturing to the people in the society, I would never sacrifice my most authentic desires for this because this is a pointless struggle. If I were put in this situation, I would tell my parents very firmly that I will marry whoever I want to marry and that's all there is to it. If they were to disown me, then I would let them go as it's not my responsibility to keep them comfortable with their social standing no matter how ingrained in the culture it is. But this is likely an outgrowth of my cultural background which is big on individuality and independence. And it's a pretty dysfunctional society too... so who knows if this is really healthier or better. But do know that leaving and doing whatever you want to do is ALWAYS an option, even if it's painful and scary. You don't have to live in a place and follow customs that are inauthentic to you. If your family cares about you more than they care about their social status, then they will begrudgingly understand. If they care more about their social status, then that's not an influence that I'd want to have in my life. But this is just personal opinion.

@Leo Gura How long did it take you to get your first 10,000 subscribers on Youtube? Was your growth slow at first, or were you able to raise your numbers at a quick pace from the start?

That makes a lot of sense. I think this is probably why adults are seldom in touch with this "stream of wisdom" as much as a child is. A child hasn't fully developed a coherent world-view and has an openness to experience so they haven't labeled things dualistically yet. So, life isn't about following ego rules yet, and thus they are more in touch with intuition.

Discovering this was really one of the most amazing things about the experiences that I had. It was like I was in touch with everything that there was to know... but it was also utilitarian in that it only really gave me what I needed in that moment. But it was very clear that there was a connection to all the wisdom that I needed to know as a human being and that I had always had this connection and always known it. So, it was amazing to discover this but I also knew that it had always been there. The only reason why I think this is so hidden (although I don't know) is because this enables that which is infinite oneness and perfection to experience finite-ness, separation, and imperfection. But this is just a guess really.

@Kevin Dunlop Thank you for watching and posting my video. Just a disclaimer, it was my first one so the production quality is very shoddy.

I really don't want to hi-jack the thread anymore. Can you PM with other messages, if you want to talk? I feel guilty diverting the thread. I don't like to break rules that much. But I understand that I can't help you. If you're past where I'm at (which I take your word for) there is unlikely to be something that I can provide to you beyond accidental serendipity which can provided by anyone and anything. I do feel a bit slighted by your rudeness though, and you can't really blame a person operating under the ego-consciousness paradigm for being slighted. I think I understand what you're doing. After I had my experiences, I realized that I was constantly trying to manipulate people's opinion of me and make myself likable and doing a ton of subtle social games that I was barely conscious of. So, after realizing this, I decided that I would do whatever came to my mind regardless of how negative of a light it cast me in. I did and said just about anything that wouldn't get me kicked out of school or thrown in jail. But I ultimately came to the conclusion that this radical unfiltered thought sharing and reputation destruction didn't really yield me anything of value. But I may have let it go pre-maturely. I have never much been able to stomach other people thinking negatively of me as I'm very attached to my "I'm a good person" identity.

I'm definitely a hypocrite. I give great advice but very seldom follow it. I have a lot of blind spots but it's a work in progress.

Fair enough. But I still don't understand what you derive from doing things the way you do. It does seem to be a waste of time for you, if you're really past trying to build up a superior ego with the realization of the illusion of separation. From my point of view, it seems like you're having a bunch of arguments with yourself. But what the heck do I know? Anyway, I'm supposed to be ignoring you... so fare thee well.

Why did you post my video?

At least it's a polite ego that doesn't spend hours a day hi-jacking forum threads and throwing random polemic arguments at people. I certainly am identified with ego though. I've never claimed otherwise. I know by contrast with my past experiences that I'm not enlightened. But if you really want to continue this swashbuckling match, feel free to PM me. Otherwise, don't waste my time and respectfully refrain from hi-jacking other people's threads.

I thought we agreed not to exchange words because it's a waste of time and energy. I've got nothing to share with you that you don't already know. I've been keeping my end of the agreement. But you may want to reread my comment in context as I wasn't actually talking about the third eye. I was commenting on what I believed the original comment was referring to.

I don't think he was referring to the third eye. In one of Leo's videos, he talked about us having this deeply ingrained but false idea that there is a "self" located behind the eyes or inside of the head. I've experienced this illusion too. So, the inquiry process recommends looking for a "self" there so that it can be noticed that there is no point there that could be labeled a "self."

It sounds like you're on the right track with your self-inquiry practice. The issue may be that you're used to 'knowing' how to do self-inquiry and that the process has become automatic. Also, if you hit a brick wall and get silence from your mind, this is what's supposed to happen. A really good litmus test for how effective a practice is, is if it brings you to a place where your mind can't make sense of anything. So, it sounds like you're on track but have gotten used to the process and your understanding of what "should" be happening. Continue with the process, but try approaching it with fresh eyes by getting in touch with what you expect to happen if you were being "successful" with your self-inquiry, then empty your cup of those expectations. The thing that's telling you "it's not working right." is the mind and thoughts which are not you and don't originate for you. It is trying to throw you off track, by discouraging you. It's how the "ego" preserves itself.

Look into Yin qualities. This will give you a much wider and deeper definition of femininity than our social caricature of femininity. Our social idea of femininity which is really two dimensional has more to do with how a man views femininity in a woman when looking for a mate, and not how a woman experiences her own femininity. If you want to highlight your femininity to be attractive to men, there are many resources to look into for that. Make-up tutorials and how to act like a feminine woman are great search terms for this. But the experience of femininity is so much more than about sexual attractiveness. It's about being, receptivity, natural cycles, mystery, the unconscious, the a-rational, darkness, emotions, the instinctual nature, the present moment, beauty, respect for the Earth and its creatures, unconditional love, non-heirarchical thinking, stillness, cooperation, and many other things that aren't quite celebrated in our society or even recognized as feminine. These are the things that must come up in power in order for us to solve most of our world's big problems. The masculine counterparts to these (respectively) are doing, communication, goals, clarity, the conscious, the rational, light, thought, the conditioned nature, the past and future, utility, prioritizing society and economy, conditional admiration, hierarchical thinking, movement, and competition. These can be wonderful qualities, but our culture is quite obsessed with them. So, most everyone in our society values these traits more and prioritizes them over their feminine counterparts. Boys and girls are conditioned from a young age to develop their masculine side, but are often unaware of or neglectful of developing their feminine side. But this imbalance is what causes a lot of problems on the global scale. Having said this, human beings are highly androgynous creatures. No one has only masculine or only feminine traits. All people contain a unique ratio of these traits. So, there are men who are more feminine than masculine and women who are more masculine than feminine. So, be sure to be authentic. Don't read the traits and try to fit into only the feminine mold because femininity and masculinity are pre-conditioned states. You can't really change your orientation that much. But you can choose to highlight the femininity that's already there. So, my recommendation is to read through my list of feminine qualities and find the ones that you genuinely embody, then find ways to develop and highlight those traits further.

Thank you! I was really interested in Lucid Dreaming about 12 years ago. I read a book about it and practiced a bit at some of the techniques, and was successful at have a good handful of lucid dreams. I still occasionally have them, maybe once every couple months. So, it's in my realm of experience and I do find it interesting, so I'll cover some videos on the topic in the future, but it isn't my main focus. It's similar to how OBE is for me. I've been getting them for about 14 years, so I have a bunch of experience with it... but I'm by no means an expert. I still have trouble with it sometimes. So, I put it in my videos because I know that a lot of people are interested in having an OBE and it's definitely enriched my life. That said, it's also not my primary focus right now.

The higher self and lower self is a false dichotomy because all is one. However, it is a great metaphor. The lower self is the ego self that you think you are right now. The higher self is what you are existentially. It is the self that you realize that you've always been when you are enlightened which already knows everything that you need to know as a human being. It is infinite. You live in tune with the higher self, when you see through the illusion of the separate self an no longer need to obscure and block out parts of reality to protect this false self. So, the higher self is already what you are, just remove the illusions created by the ego and it is what you are. When fear of harm to the self dissipates, clarity is what's left. The lower self isn't even an entity... it's just the illusion that you aren't already the higher self.

Teal Swan and I are similar in the understanding emotions, shadow work, and spiritual maps category, but different in that she is extra-sensory (I am not) and focuses mainly on manifesting from the law of attraction and the 'healing from negative events' aspect of self-help. My channel touches a bit on these things, but is more about general truth seeking and liberation from the illusion of ego, than healing and manifestation. But Teal Swan has been a big inspiration for me. I have really benefited from her work in the past. Elliot Hulse, I've only watched a few videos of his. I consider his channel similar to Leo's in many ways, but his seems to be more focused on cultivating alpha male status, dating/relationships/sexuality, career/goal orientedness, and more external things. But if I recall, he was also into bio-energetics which I find quite interesting. So, his channel is similar in the psychology aspect and energetic aspect but mostly different from mine. But I do suspect that we have some crossover as well between our audiences. I'll definitely work on leaving some comments on their videos that are most relevant.

Thank you! I do still want to venture elsewhere to market though. Leo and I definitely have a lot of cross-over audience for our channels, but we also diverge in some ways as well. So, I would need to promote elsewhere as well. Leo's channel is about self-actualization, so his channel offers advice about external concerns as well as internal, where the internal serves the external. My channel is about self-exploration, so my channel is almost solely about the internal world. So, his topis are different in that he has business advice, career, entrepreneurship, dating, etc. and is oriented toward the Hero's Journey. My channel has a more internal leaning where I explore archetypes, spiritual maps, altered states of consciousness (OBE, Lucid Dreaming, etc.), shadow work, and depth psychology. So, my channel is more about descent. So, we're different but share the crossover elements of understanding emotions, enlightenment, and generally living your best life. But thank you for the advice and the words of encouragement.

Here is my most recent video that should help with the reintegration/healing process. But awareness of the sensations that come up in the body is the most important part of the method. So, it's definitely a good thing that you're getting awareness on where the pain is located and meditating on that pain. But getting the mind in the right place is important too, and I talk about that too. I call that time "delicious" because all of the purging of old patterns and dysfunctional things in my life was unpleasant, but it opened up so many new possibilities and new emotions. It was like the darkness and negativity of that time gave birth to a lot of positive emotions and life took on a very interesting charge.

I relate to the hating that I'm loving it feeling. When I was in college, I had a year where everything got turned around for me. My life basically fell apart in the worst ways that I could have imagined, and chaos ensued and put salt on all of my deepest wounds. It popped a bubble inside of me and all the demons previously trapped there, ran amok. But there was a freshness there that was really 'delicious' is the only word I can think to describe it. Life had a bit of magic to it, that it didn't used to have. It was like the other side of the pillow... but it was also hell. Now, I have settled into a new norm which is quite a bit healthier. But I still have a lot more purging to do. So, definitely keep pushing your awareness of the emotions. But don't use any other techniques to mitigate their effects unless you're in a public situation or some place less than ideal to express the emotions. When you're alone though, just let them hit you without distracting yourself from them or attempting to dull them out. Cheers!

My advice is to let the emotions hit you like a bus. It might be overwhelming, but it's what your mind-body complex needs to heal itself. The psyche, like the skin, is self-healing. It already does what it needs to heal itself without the conscious mind needing to get involved. Just like breathing and heartbeats, it happens no matter what as long as nothing is getting in its way. So, you have to get out of its way. You have habitual thought patterns that act as shields which numb out emotions but don't allow them to be resolved completely. So, the main thing is to be non-interventional, accepting, and aware of all the emotions that are coming up. You have a deeply ingrained habit of ignoring emotions and resisting them at all costs and hiding from them or sugar-coating them or finding ways to make yourself feel better. Be mindful and aware enough to stop doing these things, and allow whatever wants to come up, no matter how painful or embarrassing. Let the emotions get you, and be the observer.