Emerald

Yes. It's definitely a natural phenomenon based in body chemistry. People tend to ascribe magical qualities to those initial feelings within a relationship, but the fireworks aren't the mark of a deep relationship, they're simply the mark of a new relationship. They are like a heat that fuses the two new lovers together, then the heat cools and the relationship grows more like a friendship in a steady way. But since people don't realize that this is natural, they think that because the heat goes away that "That person must not have been the one." But that's just the way things are. This is why a relationship based only in lust is doomed to fail. That shiny newness is designed to fade no matter what.

I know that I haven't really had a lot of luck with this. I've been in two long-term relationships and the heat has gone away both times. Plus, they did studies on this phenomenon and found that the neuro-chemicals present in the initial attraction phase go away after about three months and oxytocin comes in its place to strengthen the bond and make the love deeper but also much more cooled down. So, I suspect that it's always going to be a sacrifice of one or the other, you can either have a hot and passionate attraction or a deep and mellow love... but never both at once. But even if those initial feelings will always go away, you can facilitate a pleasant sexual interaction with a long-term partner if you facilitate a good experience and put her in an erotic mindset. So, this would enable a better and more loving experience, even if it isn't super heated.

I'm not saying it's never enjoyable. But the enjoyment is always quite mild compared to the other factors. So, it's kind of like a hassle and an enjoyment at the same time. It's sort of like eating walnuts but also having to exert a lot of effort to crack the shell open and dig them out and having sore hands. And then only being able to eat one small chunk of walnut at a time, even with all the work you're exerting. And then, with eating walnuts only being a mild enjoyment at best. So, for me, sex has never been stellar as I just don't really see how it even could be that great in actuality, even though I do always get my hopes up about it. The idea and emotions related to sex are amazing, but the act itself just feels okay and like it's just body parts rubbing together... in a way that for me feels almost like friction against any other place on the body. But if I have a strong positive emotional response, it feels very desirable and worthwhile to engage in as it's giving me something and I'm feeling something that's worth the discomfort. But this is difficult to conjure with a long-term partner.

It can be found in religious texts, myths, fairy tales, and symbolism across cultures that had no communication with one another. Without science, there was a need for humanity to come up with truths in holistic and non-linear ways. So, people would seek truth and get visions, insights, and bursts of creativity that called upon particular common archetypes that had particular functions. This can be especially pronounced in polytheistic religions where a certain God or Goddess was understood to control certain cycles within nature. And it was a way for pre-scientific humans to have an understanding of nature and their role in it. And we can see that there are usually Earth Goddesses and Sky Gods. And that in alchemy, the feminine elements are Earth and water and the masculine elements are fire and air. And in religions with the great mother being the center of the religion, it has a lot to do with Earth spirits and the cycles within nature. And in religions with a lone father God, there is a lot to do with denying Earthly pleasures and awaiting the heavenly ideal. So, you can start to notice patterns relative to the masculine and feminine in all sorts of texts, and you can even notice their influence in modern day as well... even if no one labels them in this way. But since, in the modern day, we have science to explain everything, we are less likely to look into the ether of collective consciousness in order to find meaning. We already seemingly know how most things work with science, so we neglect holistic and non-linear exploration and may have a moralization against it. But there is still much there to be explored and it still has a shadow influence over society, since few people understand archetypes and what they mean and what forms they are taking in contemporary culture.

I understand if you're not into it. Like I said before, I don't really need you to be as my intention isn't always just to convince the person I'm talking to about something but to convey truths about a topic that others may not have considered. I'm just trying to explain to you since you seem to always come back at what I say with some kind of debate or attempt to debunk something. So, if you weren't so adamant about convincing me of your viewpoints and telling me how mine are flawed or approached in the wrong way, then I wouldn't be trying so hard to explain mine to you. But since you were giving me advice on what I should do, then I asked what is it that you're doing, since you seem to be the expert on how to impact people the right way. Which I'll ask again, what is it that you're doing to follow your life's purpose and inspire others? And do you actually have a vision to inspire people toward? Or is life purpose just a rhetorical device you were using in that particular conversation to both ignore the issues at hand and create a justification around doing so that makes you feel wiser?

Death does correspond to the feminine principle as does birth. It is the feminine that sews the seeds, nurtures the sprout, and reaps the harvest. This is personified in the triple goddess archetype of maiden, mother, and crone. And the crone that reaps the harvest is the personification of death. The feminine is also representative of nature and all the cycles within nature, which includes death. But don't let that scare you away from the feminine principle. It is dark and gritty but is also beautiful and regenerative. And it is also what keeps us grounded and embodied in our humanity... something that's been out of fashion for quite a few many millennia.

@LordFall If she's like me, then she may just not want sex that often. For me, sex as an experience has consistently been 1/3 mild pleasure, 1/3 chore, and 1/3 discomfort all bundled together. So, I actually have to be really in the mood to want it because it's kind of 'meh' most of the time, to be honest. It's kind of equivalent to getting a semi-painful back massage while washing the dishes. So, it usually kind of feels like a thing that I do for my husband, even though I would really like to enjoy sex. Funny enough, though, I do have a high sex drive and think about sex often. The problem is that it actually feels more pleasurable to think about it rather than have it, as I can focus on the pleasurable emotions more than the physicality. Also, I can enjoy the performance aspect of sex if I really want to wow a guy in a new relationship and the heat of that kind of experience. But with a long-term partner, the heat isn't really there by design as those hormones go away after the first 3 months. And this isn't a reflection of my partner because this has been consistent across all of my sexual experiences. Sex is just okay unless there is the novelty of new romance and the really intense feelings of wanting to be close to that person. But it can also be nice if a my partner is really loving toward me and it feels like a natural outgrowth of that... but the physicality of the experience is still not really that pleasurable. So, I know that for me, my motivation to have sex is very emotionally rooted. So, the physicality of sex is so mediocre that I have to feel certain emotions to really want to. And those emotions are just more difficult to conjur in a long term relationship. But if I do have those erotic emotions, I will have a great time even if the physical experience is meh as usual and I will just be glad that I'm close to him and giving him pleasure. Now, I'm not saying that your partner is like this. But I am saying it's a possibility, and that I suspect that a lot of women are. And if so, it's not a reflection on you or your desirability. It's just the way that sex is for a lot of women as the physicality of it is only the secondary thing, and if the emotional component isn't there it just feels a bit like a chore. Imagine if you could only ever experience mild pleasure from sex and you'd have to work and feel uncomfortable while doing it. It just wouldn't have the same kind of pull over you and you'd probably want to do it less. So, you can probably try to do things that make her feel loved and excited and put her in an erotic state of mind in general. But it feels like a chore if a woman knows a man expects it, which kills the eroticism and makes it very chore-like. And if it feels like a man just wants sex and doesn't really want me in particular, then it also makes it feel a lot more like a chore because I just feel like I'm helping him out instead of having a real connection. Also, is she having any orgasms? If not, this can also be a reason for not wanting sex that much.

It can be difficult to figure out what is the correct response. So, I was always very apologetic toward really negative behaviors as a teenager because I saw complete and radical tolerance as a virtue. So, I would always be the first one to try to understand and not judge people who are "bad" people. But unfortunately, even though there is something wise about this, I ended up behaving in such a way that I was simply ignoring issues and not taking a stand to make people truly more comfortable. I just wanted everything to be allowed and thought that freedom and radical tolerance would solved all the problems. So, now I try to hold room for a certain paradox. And that paradox is that you have to stand up for values that are good for humanity, and stand up against values that are bad for humanity. So, in this way, we can curate a healthier society. And we can't be tolerant or apologetic toward unhealthy and discordant views because they are like kerosene, and will go up in flames once a single match gets lit. But also, on the flipside of that paradox, it's important to understand that even most Nazis were "good" people who meant well. So, the scary part about the most horrible things are that they're carried out by good people who were convinced that their victims were rightfully deserving of what came to them because of all the propaganda and the insecurities and fears that made them susceptible to that manipulation. So, it's important to look at the psychological factors and why the propaganda works so well on people. And even have their best interests at heart, without giving them a seal of legitimacy.

What are you doing to inspire others? It seems like you keep coming back to this point, but what are you actually doing? And more importantly, do you have anything that you have conviction about to inspire people toward? It seems like all of our interactions are me telling you all about what I'm doing for the purpose of clarity, and then you cherry picking a few things and saying, "Nah! That won't work. You should stop and do something else." So, it's too much advice giving, without understanding what I'm doing. And that's why I'm telling you. But on the topic of inspiring people with my life... I myself, have a reasonable sized audience completely separate from this forum. I have a consciousness-work related YouTube channel with over 20k subscribers and over a million views on it that is growing at a rate of about 50 subs per day. And people do come to me for advice regularly and have shown me that they appreciate my perspective. And I get a lot of people on the left and the right on my channel with about 2/3s of the audience being male according to YouTube analytics. And I actually find that a lot of people are quite receptive to what I have to say because of my holistic approach to these issues and the way I convey the information. People on the world stage are mostly just spitting random talking points back and forth at one another, so it can be refreshing for people to see a more nuanced perspective on what's going on. It creates quite a bit of relief for a lot of people, and that's why I share. It helps people get a bigger picture view of what's going on so that people see the general direction. And in seeing the ordering principle in these phenomenon, it makes them realize that it isn't just pure chaos and mean-spiritedness. And being able to understand these issues at a deeper level brings solace in a time of great confusion. So, I understand that a lot of people will still remain in their paradigm. But even to expose them to mine is to plant a seed. And even if this may seem vain, it's a seed that few people have the ability to plant in the way that I do. Also, not every conversation that I hold on this topic is not for the purpose of talking directly to the person I'm talking to. For example, I don't think you're open enough to even consider what I have to say as every response you've made is just attempts at debunking my perspective and not even really considering (or perhaps even understanding) what I have to say. So, I don't see you as someone who's actually receptive. But the people who read our conversation will see that I kind of pwned you, and they will be more receptive to what I have to say in contrast. Also, to understand how the destruction of nature and anti-feminine sentiments are related, you have to understand what the feminine is on the esoteric level. There is a reason why Mother Nature is called Mother. There is also a reason why the word "matter" derives from the word mother across many languages. Once you understand the interplay between Yin and Yang and what esoteric masculine and esoteric feminine entail, it becomes really clear what's transpiring.

Those processes in Spiral Dynamics don't do anything without human participation. It is the action of the individual that translates to the collective. And there is a severe shortage of those who are actually looking at this issue in a more systemic way. So, it may continue doing what it does without us. But it won't without people who are like us... so it might as well be us... or at least me if you don't want to. If no one does the work, then no one will do the work. It's a very obvious statement... but it's true. Plus, since I see this as being a matter of survival for the human race to transition from Orange to Green because of the pressing environmental issues stemming from anti-feminine sentiments, I want to help as many people transition as possible. But I don't go around spitting talking points at Incel or MGTOW guys or at Alt-righters. That's not effective. What is effective, however, is to show them a different interpretation of what they already believe that actually does have some roots in reality. Often times, these distorted ideologies will come about because of a misinterpretation of the context of the certain fact that is indeed a fact. So, they will see the dots there, but connect them wrong and in a way that is contracted and enhances victim's mentality and causes them to lash out at others. So, if I'm to approach a person like this, I will simply show them a more accurate way to connect the dots. And they'll usually be more open because I will concede to them when they say something correct and show them how it weaves into my framework of thinking relative to these topics. But I don't focus on these types of people often. I target centrists especially because they usually don't really stand for anything other than neutrality and centrism and are easy to sway as long as I avoid buzzwords that make them feel like they're undermining their moral identification as a centrist. These people are unfortunately very easy to manipulate and weaponize, if they aren't made aware of it. I also focus on those who are already somewhat aware, and I give them broader and more holistic perspectives on the issues that they're dealing with to define them in a broader and more accurate context with regard to larger macrocosmic cycles such as the interplay between Yin and Yang and Spiral Dynamics. But there be no need to convince someone of what is true if it's true. Just tell them, and they will notice it if they're open to noticing it. And if not, then move on. Others will come along and see that the perspective I'm giving is more in alignment with reality in a way that doesn't invalidate their actual truthful observations. And people who don't have a specific ideological aversion to truth and have no ideology to protect, will be able to notice which model of reality is more accurate... just like a person can tell when a painting or drawing is a more realistic depiction of reality than another painting or drawing. But seeing how the dots that they've already gotten can be re-contextualized in a broader and more accurate framework, just by changing the connections between the dots and their perspective, is key to facilitating the evolution between stages... and this is true whether a person is Blue, Red, Orange, or Green. So, it's important to take a holistic and integrative approach, while also mitigating the potential for danger in taking a nuanced exploration of these topics.

In some ways yes. But there is a long way to go. And you'd have to take these endeavors lightly because there is a huge risk of lending credibility to extremist groups by focusing on their tribulations before the tribulations of the groups that they persecute. These groups thrive off of others taking a sympathetic and apologist eye to their lives. It allows them to court new members and get more room in the accepted discourse. So, it's similar to focusing on the pain endured by a Nazi soldier and humanizing them so that they seem relatable and "like us." And a lot of people will go, "Aww. That's not an evil person. He's just like my cousin. So, maybe Nazis aren't that bad... we should tolerate them." And that happening when Jews are hiding in basements just to survive. So, it's a tricky balance between helping people who are suffering and keeping their toxic ideologies from being normalized. So, right now on the left in the political sphere, there is a lot of resistance to helping those in bigoted groups because they see them as having waived their rights to decency and concern. So, there is still a nave "punish-the-evil-doer" mentality. But on the flip side, a lot of people on the left can see how taking a nuanced and sympathetic eye to bigoted people can shift the public discourse more in the fascist direction which will cause pain to a lot more people. So, there is a need to address these issues more indirectly, through broad-scale realizations relative to these issues that will be indoctrinated and taught as the normal thing to the coming generations as opposed to trying to help the current generations that are already afflicted. Once the root causes of these problems are addressed, we will know how to protect children from the psychological issues that make a hate-group seem attractive. And there will be no pain for these particular communities to spring forth from. But a little bit of that is already happening. I know that with the talks about toxic masculinity, there is a lot of focus toward the pressure put on men to repress their emotions. And there is also focus toward realizing that anti-feminine thinking goes into this idea of the emotions being a sign of weakness and inferiority... and that being the reason why there are so many men following along with patterns of toxic masculinity as opposed to more positive forms of masculinity. So, we're taking baby steps.

It's not about me not liking it, it's about ignoring things that are right in your face simply not being a wise decision. And this is because it is precisely unconsciousness and lack of reflection that causes these issues in the first place. So, if someone just decides to focus elsewhere and abide in ignorance, then it basically allows the shadow to overtake them without their knowledge. They will be taken in by the hidden monsters of the status quo and will be completely blindsided by them. This juncture in history is a ripe time for self-reflection, and there is so much personal and collective turmoil playing out within our societies today that we can just look at what's going on and see the issues we're dealing with inside ourselves. So, you can choose to ignore these things, but that won't actually be productive or wise. And ironically, the less you focus on the issue and try to ignore it, the more suffering it will cause you and that you will cause others. That's not to say you shouldn't focus on your life purpose. I'm focused on my life's purpose daily, and I'm actively building it day by day. I've already made it my day job. So, you can both notice these things and build your life's purpose. They are not in opposition to one another. So, it feels like, within the context of this post, alluding to your life purpose is just a way to justify sticking your fingers in your ears and sayng "La La La La". Now, you can do choose to avoid this topic. But just be honest and say that you're going to choose to stick your fingers in your ears because you're uncomfortable and think yourself wiser to ignore what's going on.

Well, on that level, everything is nature... including human technology and including destruction by humanity as well. It's important to realize that there is nothing in existence that is not natural. But what I mean by "in harmony with nature" is that it doesn't create harm and destruction to our planet and the things that naturally live upon it without human beings directly making them or influencing them. Why bring up life purpose in this instance? We're talking about why certain social patterns are happening. Saying to stick to my life purpose through all this is the same as saying, "Make sure you're eating food in all this too." And I'm like, "Okay. Duh. But that's a random thing to bring up in this conversation." It just feels like a distraction and an attempt to sweep these patterns under the rug as though they're no big deal when they're having an effect on literally everyone. Avoiding the shadow (collective or personal) only makes it have a greater effect upon you. Only shining a light on it and focusing in it allows us to integrate and lessens the possessing effect of it. I understand it's uncomfortable, but it's those who close their eyes the most that become the most possessed by it. Don't sweep anything under the rug, and you will see the issue clearly. And if you do sweep it under the rug, you will become part of the problem, and you won't even realize it.

Right now the collective shadow is coming to a head in a way that I've not yet seen before in my lifetime. And so, many people afflicted by the collective shadow are forming communities of pain that mirror in a very clear way what's always lurked under the surface in terms of racism, sexism, homophobia, and a whole host of ideas that are in opposition to the feminine principle and Divine Feminine in general. And they are meeting because of the internet and algorithms bringing them together, and even helps them become more normalized. It allows those who are less afflicted by the collective shadow to become more aware of the problems by seeing so many groups pop up based around low self-esteem, hatred, bigotry, misogyny, victim's mentality, and the like. And to realize that the current structure isn't serving us any longer. And this will encourage progress and change in the future that will lead to a world with fewer hegemonic structures and a social structure that is more in harmony with nature. But many of these people who are less afflicted by the shadow and see the issues of the collective shadow, don't really know what to do with what they're seeing. So, many of them get angry and jump up and down like yo yos... or they wear their resistance to these communities of pain as a badge of virtue while not really noticing that these groups of people are in deep psychological turmoil and that to get rid of the issues, those emotional issues have to be properly addressed instead of throwing a high horse at it. They lack the systemic thinking needed to know that you can't solve this issue with reason and good talking points, as those in opposition are dealing with some really heavy and deeply ingrained psychological patterns that are affecting all of the collective in some form or another. In order to actually solve the issue, you actually have to find healthier ways for these communities of pain to address their pain because right now they only have all the toxic manosphere and the Alt-Righty stuff, which doesn't properly serve anyone. But many people are now doing the work of examining this social phenomenon, and what is now not known will become more mainstream as more information trickles down to the masses. And in twenty years, we will probably collectively understand a lot more on the practical and metaphysical level what is transpiring. Until then, just be open minded and keep your finger to the pulse, and it will be really clear what needs to happen in order for society to progress.

Psychological wounds can be completely healed but do also turn into scars. And scars are forever. But there is no pain in a scar. And scars also give us wisdom and create character. So, scars are quite a positive thing in this regard. Scars help you help others.

No I don't. I'm Vegan. I decided to go Vegan a few years ago because I wanted my outward actions and behaviors to be congruent with my inward feelings and values. I always wanted animals to be happy and well and wouldn't be able to witness animal suffering without feeling horrible, but I never hesitated to participate in an industry that creates tremendous amounts of suffering for so many of them. But there was always a disconnect in awareness between my participation in the consumption of animals and animal products and the suffering they endured simply so I can eat something enjoyable. So, in order to move out of hypocrisy and stop making myself unconscious by doing all sorts of mental gymnastics, I stopped eating meat and dairy products. Basically, it just no longer made sense for me to keep going with it if I had to close my eyes to the suffering that I was complicit in.

The journey is exhilarating. So, even if there is a lot of lows to it, it is a fantastic adventure full of longing and mystery. It is the heroines journey, full-stop. So, the degree of fulfillment I get on this journey is so far beyond any discomfort I feel from its lows. Just as you may ask someone on the hero's journey if facing the ogres and dragons is really adding back to their happiness or if there is need to re-evaluate their path toward happiness. But you don't see why the hero is on the journey in the first place and what it gives to them. You don't see what makes the tribulations worthwhile and why the life of a warrior is worth it as you have nothing yet worth bleeding for. Plus, the negative feelings would be there, even if I didn't go on the journey and they would slowly overtake me and turn me to stone. It is the consciousness of these things and the curiosity toward this exploration that keeps me truly alive and traveling ever further inward. So, you may read my posts as pessimistic, but for me they are far from it. This is my life's work and I'm deeply passionate about it. There are many stones still unturned and I get a charge out of flipping them over and seeing all the nastiness that has grown underneath them and how these patterns reflect on the macrocosms and microcosms of my lifetime.

I wouldn't force it. You may need something else right now.

Yes. Since the feminine is all about substance without movement, where the masculine is all about movement without substance, the feminine is about matter, nature, being, going with the flow, and stillness. It is all about a raw relationship to nature and going along with nature's cycles without transforming or changing them in any way. And this is good for nature, but not too awesome for humanity which is very vulnerable to the elements and forces of nature without our tools, innovations, and frameworks of the thinking. We are always risking being devoured by the destructive feminine forces. My thought on this is that, these potentials were always there but had not been unlocked in collective consciousness. Similar to how inventing the computer was always a latent potential for humanity to realize even in the earliest of human societies. But inventing the computer requires a very specific social structure with very specific innovations that already exist having already been unlocked, in order for that potential to come to a head and actually be invented by someone. So, in the days of old, people were likely too focused on pure survival to really care about the types of things that we now care about. And in Red, women were really just seen as the property of powerful men. And this was just the common understanding of the day. So, women likely saw their purpose as being a literal object and slave to the powerful men, as the indoctrination was just that way. It was baseline because the society wasn't conducive to those potentials of autonomy coming to fruition. And even if a woman in that society were living more in alignment with purple or blue, these still necessitated a lot of unpaid labor for the bearing of many many children and upkeep of the homes. So, this was still in the range of time where women's lot in life was to work 16 hour days keeping everyone fed, clothed, clean, and satisfied as the technology wasn't there yet to let women off the hook for this degree of time occupation. So, the rise of industrialization is really what's necessary to give women the space to becoming conscious of the latent desires for autonomy that were not possible in the earlier intonations of humanity. This is one of the ways that the esoteric masculine deviates from manhood's natural way. So, esoterically speaking the masculine is about the non-material and the feminine is about the material. So, the feminine is all about the Earth. But polarly masculine religions with a distant and judging father God, are all about a renunciation of the Earthly, where they see the Earthly as inherently dirty and sinful and just a test to see if one is worthy of airy Heaven or fiery Hell. As I had mentioned before, the feminine elements are Earth and water, and the masculine elements are air and fire... so feminine is substance without movement (Earth and water) and masculine is movement without substance (air and fire). So, sexuality and sensuality and anything else that indulges in Earthly pleasure are in the realm of the feminine principle... which is seen as dirty and sinful in polarly patriarchal religions and societies. Now, the idea that men are more sexual than women is actually a reversal that happened fairly recently in western society... in the 1800s sometime, if memory serves. Before it was women who were seen as more sexual, which was given as a reason that women needed to be controlled by men who were naturally less sexual and had more control over their Earthly sexual instincts. There was an idea that women would become temptresses if not controlled by the superior reasoning of men. This is also why a lot of men in great art were depicted with small penises to represent the control they had over their sexual instincts, where large penises were seen as an indication of barbarianism and unsophistication where a man is controlled by Earthly animalistic cravings like lust. So, large penises were the mark of an effeminate man. But in fairly recent history, there was a reversal with the rise of puritanical churches. Where women were able to seize a bit more social respect by painting themselves in the light of being the more chaste and pure gender. But the times painted it also as "Pure women need to be controlled and protected by men to preserve their chastity and save them from barbaric men (namely the dark skinned and Jewish ones)." And men took on the label of being more sexual, which was then given as the reason why men should be in control because their sexual instincts were a driving force behind their leadership.

You keep giving me advice by it's not necessary, and it shows me that you still don't really understand what I'm trying to explain to you. You keep bringing it back to issues of gender and my personal anxieties about aging without regard to the broader Yin/Yang relationship, which is currently imbalanced and suppresses Yin. Then, recommending personal development when I've been doing that for about the past 13 years and have objectively done quite well, especially with regard to perception and awareness. And exploring these feelings and patterns is 100% necessary for personal development as a woman. You won't make it very far if you don't face with these things. You will not be able to truly embody true feminine power without becoming conscious of the patterns that hold you back simply because of these issues that deal with the psychosexual realm and the collective unconscious. So, what I share with you now are the fruits of those labors relative to the feminine on a personal and transpersonal level. And you keep reading it as a victim's narrative when it's a really a dark and gritty journey that I've been undergoing for years and hope to share with others as a way to shine light upon something now shrouded in many layers of unconsciousness. Like I said, I've been on this journey for a long time, and my goal is awareness that I can communicate to others to make things more clear as there is a big shift happening on the macro level. You keep thinking that I'm in victim's mentality when I'm merely getting my finger on the pulse fo what's going on in the zeitgeist and using my experiences and emotions as a map to get there. So, when I speak about these things, they're not me playing a tiny violin for myself. My goal is not to find ways to get better at maximizing my looks or utilizing my reproductive fitness to get some swell guy. I'm already married with children and have been for quite a while. So, while most of this kind of stuff crosses over the sexual instinct, it's much more of an existential concern and a concern about actually integrating the feminine more as opposed to cleaving to societal notions about femininity which are very stripped down of all their substance. So, maybe I can be an elegant old lady, but this fundamentally doesn't change the identity concerns and internalized sense of objectification that are experienced by me and all women, as well as in the feminine side of men. Also, on a personal level, when I get old I prefer to look like an old witch in a fairy tale. I have no desire to be an elegant old woman when I can be a whimsical old crone.

No. That's not why I said whoosh. I said whoosh because it went over your head, and you didn't really understand what I was saying because you gave me a long list seemingly attempting to debunk my experiences and interpretations from a long time exploring my experiences and emotions instead of listening. Now, I'm not saying you should just swallow what I say fully. But when it comes to correcting me on these things and interjecting your ideas when you've not stepped foot into this experience before, it feels quite naive. Plus, in your statement about not wanting to live as an ugly woman, this is emblematic of you not really wanting the genuine female experience that I was referring to in my previous reply to you. Like I said before, this is why it's very unlikely for a man to really dive deep into this topic because it's just too comfortable and they're not willing to die all the deaths that are needed for true understanding. Many men begin this journey because it feels sexy to them, but they stop because they get comfortable very early in the journey and remain unconscious. All women lose their beauty eventually. So, if you were truly living as an attractive 25 year old woman and really wanting to understand that experience existentially in a genuine way, you must live it and know that your beauty will leave you one day. And to have gone through a female childhood and adolescence and to anticipate middle age and eventually old age. Also, all of the other experiences beyond this singular topic. You just want the parts of the process of womanhood that you appreciate as a man. So, it shows that you are not really wanting what you think you want. Plus, do you really think that your mom and sister are going to speak openly and freely about these things with you (or even one-another)? Also, much of this remains unconscious to women because there is just a sense of discontentment and perhaps self-loathing that has no named cause. That's how it was for me for many years until I started exploring and engaging in the processing of reintegrating my feminine side. You want to experience the life of a woman who is the ideal woman in your mind, which is an archetype and figment of the imagination. You don't want the experience of being an actual woman and to get actual understanding. You just want to embody the image that you worship for a while to feel the same kind of admiration toward yourself. But this is not what it is like to be a woman as that is just an image of womanhood that you have in your mind. And even if you were living as the most beautiful young woman on the planet, you would bail because you wouldn't be getting the experience that you assume and want because of your assumption.

Whoosh!

Yeah. The internalzation of the identity of object-hood can put a real damper on self-esteem and feelings of loneliness and invalidity. So, many women feel this sense of desperation, and they always end up in situations where men will treat them as an object and mirror that internalized pattern back to them. And they will feel like they are nothing without a boyfriend making them extra clingy and desperate because they look to men to solidify their sense of worthiness to exist. And this makes them even more susceptible to poor treatment that solidifies this sense of insignificance and worthlessness. And then, since they feel insignificant and worthless, they go searching for men to get rid of that feeling but those men mirror the same pattern back to them. And it becomes a viscous cycle. The cure to which, is to integrate the Animus... aka the masculine side in themselves. This will enable a woman with issues like this to become whole and not need to validation of a man to define her worth. So, it's great that you showed her a positive example of masculinity. She really needs that to own her own masculine side if she can see your example as something to look up to and emulate. I've experienced a lot of personal growth from having male mentors (usually teachers and professors, as well as my dad) to emulate and own my masculine side through that emulation.

Well, it's very mixed feelings. So, it's wanting sexual attention and not wanting sexual attention simultaneously, because of the dual meaning and reaction to female sexuality in general. That coupled with being conditioned into understanding your value as the viewed and not the viewer and the object and the not the subject. So, there is a natural desire for sexual attention. Then there is a desire to want sexual attention for the sake of societal appreciation. Then, there is a desire to avoid sexual attention for fear of being reduced to that and to be painted into the box of both a consumer item and a devilish temptress. And for me, the latter wins out in most situations... simply because I feel very platonically toward most men. So, being the projection screen for many societal shadows is difficult to do. And then, when you get past an age where that is possible to receive that projection from others it doesn't liberate you from it. It doesn't subjectify you to age. You are still objectified but seen as a lower quality and more disposable object. And if you continue to hold sexual feelings and desires, people will react with disgust. So, the way we view the feminine is to hyper-focus on the archetypes of the maiden and the temptress at the expense of the mother, the crone, and the wise-woman. So, if you really want to know the experience you have to know it at every age. And you have to not just know it as someone who is beautiful and sexy and young. It's easy to be interested in springtime femininity as a man because it is the most socially appreciated for its utility to men. But you must also know what it is to move past springtime and summertime femininity and to deal with the death of beauty and the stripping away of perceived societal value from your objectified self. It is not just to be Snow White but to be the resentful aging queen who transforms into the hag wielding the death apple. There are many deaths in womanhood. If you really want to know... do you really want to die to yourself that many times? It's hard to do. I know that if I were a man, that I never would have looked into this topic so deeply. I would have gotten comfortable with a simplified answer. And this is why few men will do the work, despite the interest. You don't have the inner conflict to spur you onward toward deeper levels of awareness. Chances are, that you'll find a comfortable understanding for you and will stop long before you reach the bottom with your awareness. If a woman embarks upon this journey of understanding, ( and she may not begin for existential discomfort at the whole thing as it's very emotional and nauseating) but if she continues there is no place for her to get comfortable until she reaches the bottom where there is transformation to be had. All the pleasures of the psychosexual realm are spiked with pain and suffering for women. So, if she can continue to feel into her personal discomfort and existential crisis, she can reach the bottom eventually. Not as to say a man couldn't do this. But it's just so easy to find a comfortable spot or to become fixated upon things of a sexual nature that feel good because they have no clear downside from the male perspective. In the psychosexual realm of the psyche, there is mostly pleasure there for men with little pain because of the ingrained patterns into our collective consciousness and our archetypal memory. So, when a man goes to explore the feminine, he usually only gets so deep before he is distracted by his sexual drives and loses consciousness. But contra-positively suffering necessitates increased consciousness, otherwise the suffering becomes unbearable. And this is why it's both harder and easier for women to explore this issue. Men are more likely to be interested in this journey because it seems exciting and sexy, but they are unlikely to complete it because they get distracted. Women are less likely to be interested in this journey because it's scary and uncomfortable and you have to face with many monsters. But if a woman embarks upon this journey, she is more likely to complete it because there is no way out once you begin, and the only relief comes at the very end of the road. So, again, I ask... do you really want to die that many times?

With Beige and Purple, there was both a reverence and a fear toward that feminine in general since we had such a love/hate relationship with nature. And with feminine religions like various forms of paganism, religions found in Native American Tribes, and religions found in African tribes, there was always various spirits that resided in nature itself. The essence of the feminine religiosity is to see the divine as Earthly, and to respect the Earth as goddess. This is also reflected in that the feminine elements through various cultures are Earth and water while the masculine elements are air and fire. So, in feminine religions of early humans, there were a lot of sacrifices given to capricious gods and goddesses as well as the bi-polar great mother, who would bless you with a great crop one year and follow it up by two months of draught and flooding. So, because we were so intimately connected to the feminine, there was a great respect toward the feminine as well as a great hatred. And even though men likely ran those societies too, human beings were not so much in a vacuum away from various predators and the elements of nature. So, the hierarchy of man over woman was not as solidified because men and women when faced off against lions, tigers, bears, diseases, floods, and all sorts of other things that go bump in the night essentially stand about the same chance... which is next to 0. So, until the Blue phase, patriarchy wasn't really in its strongest form. It was still coming up in power. Though Red was really where it started to gain traction and likely had the most rapid growth due to the raw aggression and leadership of the warlords of the time. But the foundation wasn't really properly set until Blue with the rise of institutions to uphold masculine principled values and to teach masculine principled religions that have a distant father figure God image that is perfect and immaculate and not Earthly, where the Earth is something to be transcended and is really just a test to see if you deserve the lofty airiness of Heaven or the firey suffering of Hell. Then, once the Blue phase is transcended, we have set a foundation of hyper-masculinity which eventually gives way to a kind of secularity and neutrality so that we may not even recognize it in the current form that it takes on. Masculinity isn't recognized as masculinity because we sloughed off the religious language of the past. So, we have a lot of people who think they're being neutral when they're really adding to the imbalance of the masculine over the feminine. But this is designed to build and build and build until we realize that something is wrong, and then there will be a lot of action in a short period of time to remedy the imbalance and integrate the masculine and feminine before something catastrophic happens. And this will invite many of our collective shadows onto the scene for the aware to face with them and the unaware to resist them and fight to maintain the status quo. And it seems to me that whichever side wins over will determine the fate of our species. But it could not be the case that society remained attached to the mother, as all birds must be pushed from the nest to test their wings. This is true ont he individual human level as well. Esoteric matriarchy is humanity's childhood and is primary to us as the feminine is always primary like the mother. Esoteric patriarchy is humanity's teenhood and is secondary and is when we learn to have an identity that is separate from the mother. Then, if we can make the leap from humanity's teenhood to humanity's adulthood, we can marry the esoteric masculine and esoteric feminine to one another and it will give birth to ever more exalted versions of humanity throughout the ages. And this integration has been going on for about the past 100 years with many hiccups and resistances along the way of people wanting to keep the old esoterically patriarchal order. The archetypal defenders of the patriarchy unconsciously rise up whenever there is a time of great change to defend the status quo. And it is through them that those who are more aware can see a mirror to humanity's shadow and become even more aware, allowing us to integrate more. So, unfortunately, the repression and mother wound of the rejection of the feminine is necessary for human growth and evolution in the earlier phases of humanity. And this pits us in an adversarial way toward nature, women, and femininity in general. And that is why women have been oppressed across cultures until very recently. It is unfortunate, but nature doesn't care about gender equality... only human beings do. The male black widow spider definitely gets the shittier end of the stick, and nature is absolutely fine with that. And it is the same story for women in Purple, Red, Blue, and Orange societies... but especially in Red and Blue. So, the suppression of the feminine is a function of the human system and not a dysfunction of the human system in earlier stages. But the same can be said, that gender equality and reintegration of the feminine is also a function of the human system at later stages in development. And once we are highly developed in a masculine way with regard to technological advancement, we cannot continue in a polarly patriarchal direction that suppresses the feminine and oppresses women without literally destroying the mother that feeds us.