Emerald

I think the most important thing is to really get to know your fears about having children and your fears about not having children. If the fear leads, then you won't really know what you want because the fear will cloud your sense of clarity. So, it's important to be aware of all of your fears so that you can allow them to be there but detach from them. Then, you can really start to tap into your emotions and where they lead you. And if you find you are inspired toward having children, then things will fall into place accordingly. But if you don't feel inspired toward having children, then just allow that to be as well. Also, if it helps, adoption will always be available to you if you should have the motherly urge come online at some point after you're unable to bare children. So, if you really want motherhood, it is always a possibility. And if you have resistance and fear of adoption as an option, also be aware of what those fears are and put them on you list of fears to be aware of.

Funnily enough, the idea of the Alpha wolf was discovered by a scientist who was breeding wolves in captivity. And he recognized that one wolf would come out as the Alpha. But later on, as he researched wolves in the wild who were not in captivity, he found there was no clear Alpha wolf and that his theory was only true with captive wolves. And so the guy who created the theory of Alpha male wolves found later that it was only a behavior that sprung about as a symptom of captivity and the emotional state of the caged wolves. You can find this similar kind of thing in prisons, where small packs gather together and there is one clear leader in each group. Human beings do this in captivity as well. But generally speaking, there are no actual alpha males in the human species that everyone would agree on as alphas. However, there are plenty of masculine men and plenty of inspiring men, and they have great leadership potential. The idea of alpha is flawed because it automatically sticks men in this competition mindset, where it is a zero sum hierarchical game with one man on top and everyone else as betas. And I notice that men really torture themselves emotionally with this idea, while also holding out hope that they can one day become the alpha. So, the idea of the alpha male itself is ironically a kind of psychological captivity that many men impose upon themselves and eachother. And it really cuts those men off from their actual masculine power source because they're always looking outside themselves to see where they fall in the hierarchy as a way to protect themselves against feelings of low self-worth imposed upon them by the high standards society heaps upon men and boys to have this that or the other quality.

There are skills to be learned for any given society. But masculinity and femininity have no form in and of themselves. And the forms and symbols they project forth onto is highly contingent upon the social structure. For example, in contemporary culture, wearing make-up is almost solely imbued with the feminine in collective consciousness. Make-up itself, however, is both Yin and Yang but neither manly nor womanly inherently. So, if we look at a tribal society, the men may wear war paint as an intensely masculine symbol. So, the collective consciousness of that tribe may imbue the projection of masculine energy onto what is similar in form to what we imbue feminine energy onto. Think of masculinity as a light with no form of its own. The same is true of femininity. And this formlessness is exactly why it's a subtle energy. Light has no form of its own, and yet it gives solidity to everything we perceive. The same is true of the masculine and feminine. So, if masculinity is the light, then think of society and collective consciousness as a lens that that light (as a subtle energy) shines into and produces a tangible expression from the otherwise formless masculine. So, in our society, men don't need to be taught to hunt to hone their masculine energy as it is not a necessity in our society. So, that lens can be used, but it need not be so for a man to own or re-integrate is masculine energy. The masculine is there regardless. And if a man gets too caught up in socially recognized symbols of masculinity (such as hunting or stoicism), he will become so focused on the form that he will not be able to see the light. And he will write over his natural masculine essence with socially scripted and canned masculine symbols. So, his ideas of masculinity will block his actual masculinity. It will be form without substance. But a man who can find his masculinity inside of himself, and own all of himself in his natural masculine/feminine signature, will be incredibly magnetic. Most men are so busy trying to add masculinity onto themselves from the outside by imbuing themselves with mostly dead cultural symbols to hide their fears and vulnerabilities of somehow being less than. But a man who truly owns his natural subtle un-pretended masculinity (as well as his Anima) is a treasure to be around, and people will naturally find him magnetic, both romantically and platonically.

Don't worry about being an alpha male. Just work on owning your unique masculine/feminine signature and you will become magnetic. Masculinity is subtle. It cannot be learned from the outside. It can only be discovered from the inside.

He was talking about Andrew Yang, not Bernie Sanders.

You'll find that politicians can find tons of ways to pay for free stuff for the ultra-rich and huge corporations. What we have in America is corporate welfare, where Jeff Bezos (the richest man in the entire world) not only paid $0 in taxes in 2017 and 2018. He also got money back from the government. Not to mention huge bank bailouts. And corporations not paying living wages to their employees, forcing their employees into welfare programs like food stamps and cash assistance. So, corporations paying poverty wages is also being subsidized by the government, simply so those people can eat and live. So, there's always a TON of money to spend when it is in the interests of the upper-crust. Yet, when it comes to things that benefit the average person like healthcare and education, it's always "Look at all this frivolous free stuff. We can't afford that!" And there's this huge act like they just can't do it. But they can. In fact, a Medicare for all, single payer healthcare system (aka socialized medicine) would actually save between $2 trillion and $5 trillion over the course of the next ten years compared to what we currently have. Also, free college for all would cost abut $80 billion per year. America currently has a military budget that's over $700 billion per year. And it just got a $100 billion dollar increase last year. So, the increase (just the increase) to the military budget from 2017 to 2018, would more that cover free college. So, it's really just a matter of re-allocating government funds from things that only benefit the very wealthy to things that benefit the people. America is already a mixed economy with both capitalism and socialism. So, the use of the word "socialism" as a scare tactic is quite laughable. We already have it and always have. It's just that our socialism that we currently have (tons of corporate socialism) is benefiting the few at the expense of the many. So, what Bernie Sanders is proposing is to re-arrange the socialism we have to work for the common good. But this video shows how everything can be paid for quite simply. There are about 20 different solutions that are given. And if we only pick a handful of them, it will be more than enough to pay for the programs Bernie is proposing.

I made a video on this topic, since I've also gotten myself into this same trap...

@Cocolove I know that when I was in high school, I wouldn't have been willing to go all the way with someone I wasn't in a relationship with. And I would suppose that's true for most girls that age. Most people lose their virginity in high school, and they will put a lot of thought into who they want to share that experience with. Having said that, there are plenty of people who are itching to get their virginity off their hands, and many girls who are very promiscuous. They are just more in the minority, as compared to the number of teens who are being more cautious. But you're missing out on a lot of good times if you're just wanting to get sex and that's it. One of the best things about being a teenager is in having a big friend group and meeting potential partners within that friend group. And then having sexual experiences that bloom organically when you're just having a good time and listening to music. And for the most part, the relationships don't tend to last very long. So, it's rarely super serious. So, just embrace the time for what it is. And the most important thing is to develop a tight-knit social group to do things with as well as a large circle of acquaintance-like friends as well. And this will allow you to get the most out of your high school experiences socially and sexually. Basically, just have as much fun with this time as possible.

I think it's a good idea to be forthcoming with your audience. As a spiritual YouTuber, I've done a lot the same for myself. I still keep a certain degree of discretion if the situation involves other people that wouldn't want to have me talk about it. But otherwise, I'm quite open about my shortcomings. Now, if you're going to talk about spiritual concepts, you also should talk a lot of emotions and psychological things. And you can weave in that information about yourself about how you used to be and what patterns you would get into and how you transcended those issues and/or integrated your shadows. But if you're stills struggling with something as serious as being abusive or something like that, then I recommend holding off on doing it until you can grow past those tendencies genuinely. And once you can genuinely grow past those tendencies, then you'll have a lot of useful insights to impart to others who are struggling with the same patterns of behavior which will make your content a cut above most others who are just parroting learned insights.

You can also submit your music to Pandora. Here's the submission process. https://diymusician.cdbaby.com/musician-tips/get-music-on-pandora-internet-radio/ You should also create a Facebook page for your band, and spend some money to attract people to your page via ads. Even $100 would be a good starter amount. Hash tagging your posts also helps a lot as well since it will show up if anyone searches certain terms. And you can put in short clips of live performances and behind-the-scenes as well as other things related to your music that are not on your YouTube channel. This will create more of a personal connection to you and the other members of your band and encourage people to look on your YT page and subscribe.

Since it is music, you won't be able to rely on tags and titles to drive people to your music, as no one will be searching it. What I recommend is to make connections with people who have blogs and websites that relate back to your style of music. Then, you could possibly come on as a guest blogger and include a link to your music. Or you can see if there's anyone that will feature your music on a high traffic music-related website. By the way, I just listened to 'Rust' and I really enjoyed it. I also subscribed.

Perhaps she really was joking, but not really realizing that it was really bothering you. This especially could be true if she were at the bar and drinking. When I was younger, I had a tendency to assume that guys were emotionless because they hid their emotions due to social expectations around manhood. But I wasn't really aware of this. I just thought, "Guys are tough. I can tease them a bit and fake-insult them and they won't mind." And looking back, I was sometimes really blunt about it and assumed that they knew it was a joke and most of them genuinely knew that... I think. And it's what I would do if I liked a guy or if I had a guy friend that I was also somewhat flirty with. I was quite Helga Pataki when I was in middle and early high school especially. But one time, I was 19 and I was teasing my friend Nick that he was secretly gay. And it wasn't really a one-sided thing because he would tease me that I was a lesbian and stuff like that. But he was always telling me to stop, but I didn't really think he meant it because of his tone. But one day, he really blew up on me and I was shocked how hurt he was. I had no idea that I was really bothering him with my comments. So, I apologized. But it really made me consider that maybe a lot of men are more emotional than they let on. But if I had to bet money, I'm guessing that this is the mindset of that girl and the other girls that you've heard talking like that. There is an underlying assumption that guys don't have strong emotions, and girls tend to assume the guys that they know have iron-clad self-esteem. I was really surprised that so many men seem to have a lot of anxieties about talking to women in general. I always heard that in movies and things like that, but I never considered that it could actually be a common experience among men as I just didn't see many signs of it. Men hide vulnerabilities pretty well. I really only know about it because of the internet. So, that's my take on it. Now, the woman at the bar was probably being drunk in general. So, this probably compounded any problem behaviors that already existed. She probably really did think she was joking and flirting with you, but was too drunk to realize that her comments were inappropriate and coming off that way. And women get nervous about letting a guy know that they like him, so they'll often use teasing and making fun to flirt with a guy while being able to hide their flirting.

Perhaps you're right. I look forward to when lab-grown meat becomes the main or only meat farming practice. That will definitely cut down on a lot of animal suffering and will take away one of the largest contributors to climate change, as well. But right now, there are like 9 companies (or some small number like that) that contribute to the majority of air pollution that causes climate change. So, I fear that these structural changes, legislation-wise, won't be made in time... especially with regard to China that is not showing signs yet of moving to Green. Now, there are people working on carbon scrubbing technology, and this would really help us as we wouldn't just be going to net zero carbon emissions but actually removing them from the air. But the technology is still in its baby phase.

That's true. I figure that it will probably be scary, tumultuous, and bloody like it always has been. There are a lot of hurt men, who have had expectations placed upon them to deny their humanity and emotions and just suck it up and be men. And these communities of pain pop up around the collective hurt that men feel. So, we have a situation where women have gone through liberation from their gender box, as there is very little boon to living in that box. So, once the social structure changed to liberate women from that box, women were all to eager to get out of the prison of narrow societal conscriptions about what femininity means. And there is still a huge reaction against the feminine from women, because there is a conflation of the societal conscription about femininity and femininity itself. But men are still beholden to their gender box. Society at large, still judges men for not being man enough. And men still believe that there is happiness and power to be found in the prison of societal conscriptions about what masculinity means. So, they cling to their prisons in an attempt to salvage their self-esteem only to play a hierarchical losing game and bring themselves lower and even further from their natural masculinity and true center. And they have to walk this very narrow line of what is acceptable for men to be for fear that other men will police their behavior and call them beta or some other feminizing insult. The thing that makes me doubt our ability to make the jump relative to climate change is that we're about 12 years out from the point where things go past a point where it would be very difficult to return to a change in climate that would have an intense impact on so many eco-systems. But given that there's so much growth and awareness happening, I still have hope even thought it feels like a bit of a long shot.

I think the current collective ego (which is Orange and masculinity-centric) is having an extreme reaction to the progression toward Green and feminine integration. And this reaction is causing a lot of people who are not ready to progress, to instead attempt to regress into past societal structures in their reaction against the changes. So, we're seeing a lot of the Blue and Red shadows coming to fruition as well as the darker side of Orange. People don't want to lose the advantage that being an Orange man in an Orange masculine society affords them, even if they would be in an overall better spot to integrate Green. It still registers as a loss. But I suppose my confidence kind of wavers a bit. I think that if we're able to sufficiently remedy the issue of climate change, then we will continue to integrate the feminine more and more into our present masculine societal structure which will lead to a much healthier society. But the backlash is so strong against the integration of the feminine, I fear that we won't be able to make it in time as a species. So, only time will truly tell if we can make the jump or can't.

That's not what he was saying. You should really try to gain some connection to your emotions and get out of your comfort zone with it. If you don't learn how to do that, then you'll miss out on a lot of things in life, including but not limited to romantic relationships.

I've heard a lot worse and quite often. I just watched a video where Elliot Hulse who I thought was pretty okay from what I had seen. And he was saying he didn't know if women should have the right to vote and 75% of the comments were affirming how correct he is and how glad they are that he's dropping "red pills". And comments like this can be found in a lot of places. So, sexism doesn't surprise me anymore, especially fairly small instances like this. The OP said something a bit objectifying without really realizing it. But it's really all over the place on the internet. The OP is just a bit immature and grasping to feel a sense of control and to salvage his self-esteem, and he's doing that through means that happened to be sexist. And he's largely just being effected by these collective waves, as opposed to consciously participating or causing the waves. So, a single instance of sexism is kind of like a single zombie. It's not really a problem once you get acclimated to the fact that zombies exist. You can just avoid it, and they fall apart easily. Zombies are clumsy and not too smart. But it's always the horde you have to worry about. And that's what worries me the most, is that it seems like the number of men being brainwashed into anti-woman rhetoric is festering. It's like it's all coming up as a reaction to us pressing forward and progressing as a society. It's all to keep us in Orange and to keep us from moving to Green, as well as to avoid the integration of the feminine principle. But my assumption is that we will make that jump, and these guys will collectively retreat back to the shadows. And then, their kids and grandkids will be much more forward thinking, while they become irrelevant and eventually die out. And then this cycle will come back again and again in more and more of the minutia of the issue until we fully re-integrate the feminine principle. Or we might not make the jump and we will all die and the planet with us... either one. But I'm optimistic.

I'm sure it was just an on the spot defense that wasn't really thought through. The OP tends to like to come to a lot of snap conclusions about things.

He was saying that he wanted impregnate a woman from every race to raise his "cubs" so that there are a lot of different versions of himself running around in the world. I think that the word animalistic is accurate.

That sucks that the laws in those countries are so antithetical to the stability, health, and wellbeing of women and children. And there are tons of people I know who are either single mothers or who have never met their father because they took off. I think it's a lot easier for irresponsible men to leave their children because they don't carry them for 9 months before-hand, and they can detach and kind of pretend it didn't happen. So, this is probably why that dynamic happens as often as it does. So, the level of discernment and vetting that women put men through, is just a really wise decision. I think that a lot of inexperienced men like the OP want to see sex in a vacuum without regard to the practical concerns. And just thinking about how things "should be" if they were fair. There are so many dysfunctional people out there, men and women both. But there are so many added layers of vulnerability for women as the one possessing less physical strength, less testosterone, and having the lion's share of the role in caring for children in the gestational and baby phase. So, it's very important to find a man who is a rock in terms of reliability, integrity, and stability if a woman gets into any sexual situation that could eventually turn into a family. Otherwise, they will live their life in a constant state of anxious upheaval, with children in tow.

Wrong. Women have a lot more at stake in terms of child-rearing and the potential effects on their lives and bodies. Women can also only have one child every 9 months or so. So, women have to be selective. Also, she wants to be sure she has chosen a man of character, because in the earliest days of nomadic living, if a man left then both woman and child would die. And even today, women have to REALLY scrutinize men and be selective if they want to live a life that isn't filled with tragedy and mayhem. Men, on the other hand, could father thousands of children in his lifetime if he tried. And his body and survival wouldn't be effected. And there is more of an opportunity for him to just run away from the responsibility of child rearing. So, men don't have to be as selective. They just have to find a woman that will accept them... which will happen eventually if a guy tries enough times. So, it is quite practical that women tend to scrutinize men more than men scrutinize women, partnership-wise. And this is one reason why women are very unlikely to approach. Also, as a woman, I only like one guy at a time. And if I approach that guy and he says no, then I have to wait a long time before I can get over him and even longer before another attraction comes up. So, I never approach as there is simply too much at stake. I just spend time around him, drop hints, and hope that he approaches me. So, even if a woman did like you, you probably wouldn't know unless you tried to escalate things. Also, women are not going to just come up to you out of nowhere. It's dangerous to approach strange men, as you don't know what that person is about. Plus, women have tons of guys approaching them all the time, so there really would be no reason for them to approach a stranger. Most often, you have to actually know women for them to become attracted to you. So, you really should understand that women and men's attractions don't work the same way. Women don't work the way that you do.

Everyone in society is discouraged from being loving and feminine. That's why so many people (especially men) have a hard time with repressing emotions. But if women have been cold and distant with you, it simply means that you were not their romantic partner. Women tend only to give affection to men they are in a relationship with. Strange. I know. Women tend to have an easy time being loving toward their romantic partners. But if you've never had a romantic partner, than why would you expect that random women would be loving toward you? And you would actually have to know women and approach them personally. Women usually only like guys that they know personally. Strange. I know. So, if you don't know any women, then women won't know you and thus won't be attracted to you. No. Mature in this sense means integrated and well-developed. An integrated and well-developed man won't feel insecure in himself and won't ignore parts of himself. So, as a result, he will have an integrated and well-developed feminine side, which will allow him to be emotionally aware and sensitive as well as having emotional mastery and equanimity . And his masculinity will become warm instead of cold. Immature men have a cold, fragile, and juvenile masculinity because they are stiff and contracted like very thin glass. Mature men have a warm, holistic, and mature masculinity because they are flexible and expansive. But the primary difference that I've noticed between mature and immature men is the warmth of their being. I believe what the science has to say on the matter. If you personally feel less 'dominant' afterward, it likely has a lot to do with your psychology rather than anything to do with your biology. Do that. It might help to abstain, especially if it's at the level of addiction. But understand that quitting masturbation is a symptom-based solution. It doesn't deal with the issue at its core. It just gets rid of a problematic behavior that stems off of the actual core. If I were to put my money on an actual solution, it would be to integrate and develop your feminine side. This would enable you to be more aware of your emotions. You would also have more of an intuition about what would be attractive to a woman in yourself. And you wouldn't be so stuck in a narrow box of your ideas about masculinity for fear of seeming feminine. Basically, you have a very narrow tightrope you feel that you need to walk and you have you eyes closed to a lot of things. Just open your eyes and see what's actually there without resisting it. And don't be on the defense all the time looking for someone to blame or some rationale for your behavior. Look and see what's there and choose consciousness over comfort.

Wrong again. Number one, schools don't encourage kids to touch themselves. If there is sex positive education, then they may tell them it's an option. But there is no encouragement. Also, VERY few schools have sex positive education in the first place. So, if you're linking the issue of masturbation addiction to the 5% of schools with sex ed that are also sex positive, then you need to seriously reconsider your logic. Number two, pop culture shames those who DO masturbate. There's a TON of comedy all based around jokes about guys who masturbate where the guy is the butt of the joke. It's the same situation with comedically unattractive women, where there will be jokes about them masturbating. Attractive women, however, don't have any mention of masturbation. It just gets left out, perhaps as an assumption that they are to pure for masturbation. Also, masturbation by itself is not bad for you. It's only an issue if it becomes an addiction and a barrier to intimacy. Wrong again. These feelings will naturally come up if a person is in touch with their emotions and instincts. If a person doesn't feel this drive, it just means that they probably have an issue with emotional repression. This is also why many men get stuck focusing only on orgasms and dick-focus because men are discouraged from feeling emotions. So, focusing single-pointedly toward the sensations that the penis feels during sex is a way to disconnect and push away any emotions for fear of seeming feminine. And this cuts them off from more gratifying feelings like love, passion, intimacy, joy, openness, and the like. So, this is why men who get stuck on porn and masturbation never go out to have sex with an actual woman. They don't actually realize that sex with a woman has a lot more to offer them than an orgasm does. There is nothing more of value in sex that registers to the emotionally repressed. The ability to feel emotions also a good indicator of how mature a man is. If you develop that ability to be aware of your emotions and responsive yet equanimous toward them, you'll also be a cut above 85% of men. Women crave for a man who can meet them where they are. So, this will probably be a good focus for you as this seems like the core of your issue. Wrong. Masturbation doesn't lower testosterone at all. Sexual exhaustion can effect the androgen receptors which makes the body temporary not able to know what to do with the testosterone it has. But the testosterone is still there and doesn't diminish at all. Also, there is no link between masturbating to a person increasing the belief that you can't have them. This is just another excuse you're using to stay in your comfort zone. You can blame masturbation all you want for your fears of women. But demonizing masturbation is never going to fix any of your issues. You need to just go out there and meet women. Go out and socialize in general, and meeting women will come as a natural by-product of that.

Wrong. Number one, most schools don't teach masturbation. Number two, I discovered masturbation on my own, and so did all my friends. It's pretty obvious. And even if it weren't obvious, there would be plenty of things in pop culture that would clue them into it. Also, masturbation doesn't properly stand in for a partner because being with a sexual partner isn't even mostly about orgasm. Sex has a lot more to do with being close to another human being, feeling that person's body up against your own, intimacy, kissing, etc. than it has to do purely with orgasm. Sex that's just about an orgasm is bad sex. Now, masturbation is a lot more effective for an orgasm (for women). Climax can come in minutes, when it may never come with a partner. But I've never known a single woman that preferred masturbation to being with a partner despite the orgasm gap between the two. And this is because there's a lot more to sex than orgasm. Orgasm pales in comparison to erotic emotion like love, exhilaration, desire, surrender, and joy. And these cannot be achieved through masturbation. So, if you've stayed away from women, it is only because of your own fear. Don't blame masturbation. Masturbation is quite natural and will happen regardless of whether or not it's taught in schools. Just go out there and meet some women.

Eight year old kids in America are not even taught sex ed. And even teenagers in my neck of the woods are taught with abstinence-only education with no reference to masturbation. The slogan that they drove into us was that "It's okay to have feelings and attitudes about sex, but it's not okay to have sex." Then, at age 22, I was considered a bit of a late bloomer when I had my first child. And many schools don't offer sex-ed at all. Yet... surprise surprise... everyone discovered that secret one way or another... usually through intuition or occasionally sexual references in teen movies. Probably many learn it through exposure to porn. So, to frame it as "We have to stop teaching masturbation in schools." is just silly. People are going to find out either way.