Emerald

This is so reflective too. I only touched it. And there is nothing I can describe or understand of its actual nature. The closest I can say is that it kept loving its creation at deeper and deeper levels. But that pales in comparison to what was actually happening. The intelligence was so far beyond what I could receive. So, I could seek forever and never know. And that is why it wanted me to go on and live my human life as though it is the most imperative thing... as it certainly is the most imperative thing from the perspective of God... as are all things. Again, this is not exactly reflective. It's just my best translation. But God set limitations for me out of mercy. It showed me the triviality and impermanence to being "an enlightened human" so that I could simply accept the gift of its creation.

That's exactly what I experienced. That which is Emerald is utterly incapable of understanding it. It's too much to bear. So, it had mercy on me and showed me because it knew I would ruin my life seeking some kind of transcendence to get away from what is. And it wanted me to live a simple innocent life where I could engage fully with its creation, as it gave the illusion as a gift to me. It wants me to live this story because it loves this story. I have to surrender to what simply is without seeking to fix or overcome. It is only to embrace that which is flawed and recognize the perfection in this experience... with or without what is referred to as enlightenment. There is no mistake in humanity.

Thank you. I appreciate the offer. I do need to seek connection and those who understand. I may get in touch at some point soon.

Thank you. I don't see your path in the cards for me. You seek to realize you are God at deeper and deeper levels. I seek to allow God to create what it wants through me as an extension of it and to take that with innocence and acceptance. It was already so much to die and experience the love of God and how deep it all went. And now is my time to learn to hold space for this dance between the infinite and relative that has been quite relentless. There are still vulnerable parts of me that aren't used to the death process that happens so often now. I trust my experience of what was shared with me that it is my path to ground deeper into my human aspect. Now, in my human uncertainty, I'm orienting myself to that. And if that is the wrong way, I will take that as it comes. There is no point in getting hung up with doubt or to trust others instead of my own experience.

There is a very human part of me that longs for people to understand and to be understood. There is nothing to be fixed here or overcome. There is no distinction between the finite and the infinite.

I am not anymore. After this, I realize that I'm meant to ride whichever wave comes and accept what is. There is just what is. Do you not understand that that is also God?

There is nothing to fix. The human predicament is perfect as it is. So, it’s about accepting and loving everything, even the parts that can’t love or let go. It is to appreciate what is, even as it is an illusion. And it is to allow for the human condition by engaging with story and narrative. It is to honor the creation of God as an extension of God, and to allow yourself to be the creation in all its purposefully laid imperfection. To allow yourself to be instead of trying to become. And even orienting to the attempts to become with compassion. That’s what most people are meant to do. And that isn’t a mistake.

Very much so. Right now, it’s all very overwhelming.

Why do you seek enlightenment?

I think you may not understand what I’m trying to articulate. There is no stopping this, even if I tried. There is no undo button. And that terrifies me. Every time I sleep or zone out a bit, I merge back into the absolute. And I stay until I feel overwhelmed and have to tap out and anchor back into this experience. My path is surrender. That means surrender to what is, even if what is is the reality that I can’t yet surrender. And to accept the flaws of my humanity. You see it as me stopping or avoiding. But I am Just now starting. But my direction is to ground into the human experience and live my human life as though it is my only. It is to treat this life with innocence and gratitude. And to give and receive love, and be an extension of God’s merciful quality in human form. That’s why it gifted to me this perspective. Enlightenment is a trivial thing in many regards. I see now that there are truly no enlightened people. There is just God knowing and loving itself in an infinite amount of ways. And sometimes that means giving a flawed human the ability to connect with it so it can love itself even deeper. Why do you seek enlightenment?

Thank you. I appreciate you taking my corner. But to be clear, there is no break here. The path is surrender to the human experience. The real work has just begun for me.

@RendHeaven Here’s an easier way to articulate it. In order to surrender, you must even surrender to your inability to surrender.

The attempt to control the flow is part of the flow. Just keep orienting in a meta way and accepting what is as it comes. There is nothing that isn’t the flow. So, the flow can’t be interrupted... even if you interrupt it. It is all the flow. There is nothing to fix or overcome. To surrender you must recognize imperfection as inherently perfect. So, I accept the vulnerabilities that I have and I seek only to surrender to what is at deeper and deeper levels.

@Derek White Certainly that does happen. But at some point you have to surrender to the limitations of your human perspective. And you must accept that you are not designed for certainty. My intention is to listen to the message I received regarding my purpose of surrendering and holding space for people... and to deal with things as they come. It’s not a very action-oriented plan. It’s more passive.

I understand what you mean. It is good to be cautious. But you will recognize God when you experience it. You remember yourself. And the mind can’t understand and it can’t be properly articulated. But you know it. Also, another part of surrender is to trust what comes as valid and let go of doubt.

There is no such thing. You always get what you’re meant to receive... no more and no less.

I’m afraid. It’s okay. This is the way it wants to come. The fear is not something to fix, solve, or overcome. It is only to surrender to the reality that fear is the reality. It’s hard to let it be. And that’s okay too. I let the difficultly be there. What is meant to come will come.

It communicated to me in the way I could understand it. It brought me through this process to help me purge and give me a message in the way I was capable of receiving it. Its main message was to accept and surrender to my human existence. So, it makes sense that it would come through symbolically in a way that I know how to process it.

There is nothing that needs to be dismantled. I am not fearless, so I am letting it be so. I feel very vulnerable, so I let it be. There is still so much that I’ve yet to surrender. I have so much I’m clinging to. So, surrender is my focus. And there is nothing that needs fixing or overcoming.

It could be so. Even still, it is okay.

Yes. I find the labor/birth that I experienced to be indicative of the end of an incubation period. For me, I had to struggle for 11 years as I did to understand surrender. There is no rush. Follow your intuition. My impression is that such an experience will only be given if it’s best for you. Only do it if it calls to you in more than just an intellectual way. Also, come to understand deeply why you want enlightenment. There is much growth to be had there.

When you get the message, you hang up the phone.

I let it be there. I don’t try to overcome it or “solve it”. I listen to it and accept it as a precious and vulnerable part of my humanity. It’s okay to be afraid.

It was made clear that I am only to surrender and accept and love whatever is. My path is surrender. There is nothing to seek here and nothing to fix. I will take existence as it comes and ask for no more than what is given freely. It’s already so much to open up to and so I surrender to it. And when I can surrender no more, I surrender to the need for respite and ask for mercy.

It was made very clear that I’m not meant to seek transcendence. God showed me its burden to have mercy on me because I never would have stopped seeking. And it said my purpose here is surrender to my humanity. And enlightenment is arbitrary in the eyes of God. I really felt how trivial enlightenment is in so many ways. And now, every time I go to sleep, I die. And when the absolute is too much, I ask for mercy and I find my life as Emerald again. It’s terrifying, truly. Most shouldn’t seek to become enlightened. The function of the enlightened is to bear the burden of the absolute in human form, to ease the sufferings of humanity. So, in whichever way you take it, have mercy on the human being called Leo.