Emerald

From what I've found so far, most likely that's the case. A person who is genuinely in Yellow might critique certain methods and motivations that a group may have and question the efficacy they have toward creating a more harmonious society. But they will also recognize that Green's vision for the future (fairness/equality, green energy, acceptance, etc.) tends to be a lot more positive than the status quo, even if there are logistical problems with their methods. But an Orange person would likely demonize these groups and try to justify that these groups as lesser to maintain homeostasis in their Orange identity and worldview. And if they are aware of the Spiral Dynamics model, they'll want to recast those groups as Purple, Red, or Blue, as opposed to Green. This is a common Blue/Orange response to Green, to do mental gymnastics to convince themselves that a group is lower on the spiral than they are. Or another tactic is to convince themselves that they're already in Yellow as someone in Orange, to justify their superior position on the spiral. They may also label themselves as Green because they can look at their Orange/Blue perspectives and convince themselves it's Green. For example, someone who is an MRA, can think of MRA as a Green movement because of the supposed questioning of the status quo and a fight for equality of men. But the viewpoints of that group tend to be a mix of Red/Blue/Orange, and it's a group that largely works to maintain the Orange status quo in society to resist against Green. These are the most common tactics I've seen, with the first being the most widely used. You can see it a lot on forum particularly with people who are in resistance to Feminism which is largely a Green movement, and classifying Feminists as primarily a Red/Blue movement, because it would rub their ego the wrong way and undermine their worldview to see them as higher up on the spiral than them. And they have lots of propaganda of "Feminists Rekt by Logic" videos, where they have the least charitable representation of that group that's easy to demonize to help convince themselves of this.

Thank you!

Sunday is one of the best days to release videos because most people work Monday through Friday. So, Saturdays and Sundays are the best days for releasing YouTube content since you'll get more of your viewer base to watch your stuff when it first comes out. This will enable you to be more likely to be noticed and recommended by the YouTube algorithm which rewards videos that have high watch time and many views in the first 48 hours of release.

@kieranperez This might be against forum guidelines, because it might constitute advertisement. If so, I apologize and will take the post down But if you would like to get more clarity about your direction in life, you may try a life-coach instead of a therapist. I have been trying out life-coaching in the past few months and I've been able to get good results and even some major breakthroughs, with one in regard to direction and clarity particularly. And I only charge $32 for a 1-hour session, since I'm not yet certified and just learning the ropes. So, it's quite a bit cheaper than what an average life-coach would charge. So, if you'd be interested in this, let me know. Otherwise, I think that the thought process in your mind of negative thoughts and judgments against yourself creates a really high-stakes situation where you have to shut down various awarenesses. This is probably why there is a lack of clarity, because there is too much self-judgment going on to hear your passions calling. You don't have enough wiggle room in your mind-space and emotional-space for passion and insights about your path to come up. It probably also doesn't help that you're living with your dad and there is a toxic dynamic going on there. So, try to still the body and mind for ten minutes and try to wind yourself down here and there. And try to be mindful that the source of your catastrophizing is only happening in your mind-space. Another person could be in the same situation and read it in a positive and hopeful way. So, the idea is to train yourself toward GENUINE positive focus. Also, consider that perhaps this conundrum and negative self-talk is giving you something that you want. And that's why it's difficult to let go of. I sense a fear of responsibility and a fear of change. So, I feel like the negative self-talk subconsciously functions as a catastrophizing rationalization to justify remaining in your comfort zone and avoiding the emotional labor involved in taking full responsibility for your life.

To me, it sounds like a fetish of sorts, akin to S&M. If I were to analyze the fetish, I would say that there's a narrative going on here relative to the Anima possession that I mentioned earlier. The idea of "putting the woman in her place" is an attractive idea to the Anima possessed man, as his primary struggle is to keep his Anima subdued, which then projects things onto the world that make him feel powerless to spite him. So, the narrative of the man putting the woman in her place is attractive if the man feels powerless to the projections of his own Anima. So, it is sexual but it's also a story of the desired redemption and reconnection with the feminine... but by fantasy means of the comfortable lens of masculine violence and resistance in general. Also, the image of the femme fatale may be attractive/repulsive to you in combination because of the fear and allure you feel toward your Anima. Also, you can find these tropes all throughout fiction because a lot of men are dealing with problems on this same spectrum, like the femme fatale and the feisty woman that is put in her place by the powerful man. I would say that yours is a bit more intense than average, perhaps because of the culture that you come from and its outlook on women and femininity, as well as the mystery surrounding things of a sexual nature because of the lack of sexual education. But I would say first to let go of fear and shame about being attracted to these ideas. It's quite common to experience attractions that deviate slightly from the norm. I would work on finding ways to become comfortable and accepting of your sexual desires, as well as attempt to get in touch with your emotions in general. These will both help you begin to integrate the Anima.

Don't let this idea hold you back from what feels right to you. You are always on the path no matter what. I recommend hitting all the normal milestones and living a normal teenage life and being mindful as you do it. Nothing is invalid. Everything is a learning experience and an opportunity to become more conscious. You don't want to end up later on in life having never lived and get behind on milestones and rites of passage. This is especially true if you end up fighting the path by denying what your emotions are telling you as a result. Don't fight your desires, and don't fight reality. Accept that they are they and are a valid aspect of reality. Enlightenment requires perfect unconditional love for all aspects of reality and an invalidation of none. So, because your desires are an aspect of reality, pushing them away or invalidating them is bringing you in the wrong direction. Resistance and renunciation will only set you further from your goal. Transcendence of the sexual drive is not the same as resistance to or renunciation of it. Transcendence of desires in general is not the same as resistance to or renunciation of desires. That said, for some, living a life of abstinence is right. But it comes about because that path FEELS right. It is pursued intuitively.

The thing that has helped me, that's a little gnarly and hard on the ego and self-esteem so I don't recommend it to everyone, is exploring deeply all the reasons why society is the way it is relative to gender. And realizing that the oppression of women wouldn't have happened across cultures unless it was an aspect of the system of human evolution. And then realizing why that pattern has started stopping. And then, observing people online and their viewpoints and seeing how the growing pains of humanity are affecting them. But it requires asking a lot of uncomfortable questions, to uncover our own internalized misogyny. One of the reasons why misogyny hurts so much for women, is because they believe similar things deep down due to the subtle (and sometimes overt) conditionings of being in the contemporary culture. So, when someone else says a misogynistic comment, there is a desire to push back on that comment for practical reasons... but also because there is a desire to ignore how that mindset has taken root in our own minds. So, it requires looking really deep at our own self-loathing. As far as masculinity, my advice is always to own whatever happens to be there. For the average woman, they will be mostly feminine with some masculine. And everyone has both. For some women, their natural signature is predominantly masculine or there is a nearly even mix of both, but this is less common. So, own whatever is there, and sharpen both your masculine and feminine potentials and skills. And realize whenever you feel uncomfortable with an aspect that is feminine or considered traditionally feminine. So, for example, in your post when you felt weird about talking about emotions and intuition, this is a sign that the ego doesn't like to associate those things with itself. It's afraid that it will be judged in some way. So, it is likely that you have a resistance to emotions and have trouble valuing and being aware of them. My impression from this is that emotional denial may be a pattern. So, making an effort to get in touch with the emotions and becoming sensitive and aware of their existence and what they are trying to communicate on the level of the body is very important. Think of the emotions like a dark cave with hidden treasure but many monsters. You have to go in the cave and feel around in the dark to find forgotten and undeveloped potentials and aspects of the self, and shine the light of consciousness onto them. But you will likely run into all sorts of ugly monsters down there. It's like turning over a rotting log that you've been sitting on for a long time, and you realize that it has all sorts of yucky, creepy, crawly things underneath of it. As for your question on the Divine Feminine, when I was having my experiences of ego transcendence there was this really clear subtle energy that was both in me and outside of me. And even in lieu of knowing anything about the spiritual and the Divine Feminine, I could only label that energy as Feminine. It was the most accurate word to describe it. But it wasn't a whole lot like the societal conception of femininity. It was erotic (in the life-giving sense) and was all about the connection to the natural world. It was like reality itself was mystical and had an intelligence about it. And it was extra apparent when I was near plants and trees. Experiencing this also made me realize that I had been repressing my own feminine energy because of how I conceptualized of the feminine as weak. But this was anything but weak. It was just subtle and quiet.

You're welcome! I'm glad that it helps.

Thank you!

That's normal. These characters are designed to be attractive. They are all intonations of the femme fatale. So, there is nothing creepy about this. I think most people find these characters to be attractive. That's why it's a popular movie trope. But it seems that you have a resistance to your own attraction to these types of characters. So, even though it's quite normal to have that attraction there. You reading it as abnormal is probably of significance to what's going on psychologically. So, what do you think it means about you to have that attraction to these characters?

All prophets are inherently false. And Jordan Peterson can and has helped a lot of people tremendously relative to developing grit and direction. There is a reason why he's so popular, as his self-help advice can be used to develop underdeveloped potentials. This is sorely needed in society. That said, taking his advice is like following the bread crumb trail to the ginger-bread house that is home to the witches oven. He gives a lot of great stuff, all the while leading people into consciousness traps. These traps keep people in perspectives that are like consciousness holding points. And that pattern of contraction is spreading more through society as a result of his influence especially, but also along with many other things. So, even if an individual can have benefit through Jordan Peterson's teachings, it will come at great cost to themselves and society at large. It's like selling your soul for some small gains that you could have acquired a different way.

These all tie in with the feminine principle. So, women (who are most often predominantly feminine), will often gravitate to these topics. The Divine Feminine has a lot to do with spirituality embodied in matter and the dualistic world. So, it is focused on form as opposed to formlessness. So, cycles in the stars, energetic realities, emotions, and instinct are all part of the phenomenal world that have a close link to the spirit within matter.

Thank you! I'm glad that it resonates!

Awareness helps because you can sort out what you project and how the projections make you feel. Then you can start to look toward the processes that maintain those notions.

More-so, what do you anticipate their internal experience to be like. Like how do you think they feel and think about things? Or is there a projection that those things aren't occurring? With regard to the "other-worldliness", what creatures or aliens come to mind (from popular culture or mythology) that is most reflective or close to your idea of women? - This meaning any movie characters that are creatures or cyborgs or succubi, etc.

In lieu of seeing women as independent human beings, what are the assumptions you project onto women in terms of what you believe is happening internally for them thoughts and emotions-wise? Do you think she is scheming? Or that there is nothing going on inside? Or is it a blank for you? Or perhaps something else?

Which areas would you say you experience the most resistance to women and femininity on a regular bases? So, when all the issues of the original post come up, what triggers that fear? And what outcomes or potential realities are you afraid of?

When I was more in an Orange POV, as a child and teenager, my idea of empowerment came from the idea of the rejection of all things feminine and girly and the ability to relate to and be "one of the guys." It was a given to me that femininity was weak, and that masculinity was superior. And I was quite misogynistic as a late elementary school kid. I appreciated the thought that I was some kind of special girl that was the loophole... the only cool girl that was as good as a boy. So, on one hand I was always trying to prove myself. But I also wanted a feminine facade, so that I could be respected in that way as well. So, that I could be male on the inside and female on the outside. When I started to transition into Green thinking as a teenager, I still had the majority Orange. But my misogynistic views lessened and I found other masculine girls (or simply girls who were not traditionally feminine) as close personal friends. So, my prejudice was toward femininity instead of girls. I respected girls who had a well-developed masculine side and felt at home with the gender non-conforming... especially as a bisexual woman. But I still had this idea that I was special because of my man-on-the-inside but woman-on-the-outside dynamic. And I did get quite a bit of respect compared to other girls my age... so it added to my ego identification with my superiority over feminine women. And at the time, I could have totally started the Red Pill movement, as so many of their beliefs I had at the time. So, even in that transition to early Green, there was still a ton of resistance to the feminine. And as I embraced Green more and more, I became comfortable in deconstructing the notions of gender and masculinity and femininity altogether. My favorite phrase at the time was "It's a social construct" as I believed everything to be a social construct. I thought that personalities essentially sprang forth from circumstance and that no amount of nature was inherently there. I had a very "tabula rasa" idea of how people were, except in convenient circumstances when explaining homosexuality's validity to homophobes. And I consciously rejected most gender norms, and say others that participated in gender norms as dull and "boxed in"... a slave to a social construct. And even though this resistance, I later recognized as a barrier, it helped me grow. I was able to skate circles around others who were so attached to their gender identity. I allowed myself any expression and was very experimental with my appearance, creative endeavors, and life in general. Some of my most useful personal development happened at that time. But underneath those Green and Orange ideas, there was still lurking a natural feminine energy that was my most dominant energy. And also lurking below was the misogyny and hatred of the feminine that I had learned over the years. So, there was always an internal conflict for me, that even continues into present day. It was only when I had my experiences of ego transcendence that I experienced the Divine Feminine and all the femininity that I had been repressing since childhood. I had related femininity to weakness because of subtle conditionings over the course of my life from the media, friends, family, school, church, etc. I didn't even notice it as it was happening, as I consciously always believed in the equality of the genders even in my most misogynistic periods. So, I had learned to reject my most dominant energy, that cut me off so much from major aspects of myself and reality. Ever since then, I've been taking a more Green/Yellow approach to looking at issues of gender, feminine/masculine, Yin/Yang, etc. And seeing how this issue intones on many different levels into reality. As for your Orange coming off as feminine (assuming you're a woman), this is very common for women to get really obsessed with looks at this stage. They want to be seen as feminine because, at Orange, the woman's primary societal value is as a sexual commodity and her secondary value as a worker and competitor in capitalist society. Women at this stage will try to embody both, as I did, if they are interested in social status. Plus, the desire to be seen as feminine does cross over the sexual instinct as well. Perhaps your transition to Green illuminated this unhealthy dynamic and you became protective of yourself, because you realized that you and society was seeing you as sexual currency primarily. So, a masculine facade can help avoid that kind of attention as well as your tendency to see yourself in a limiting and dehumanizing way. Also, looking masculine is a way to seem more competent and less threatening simultaneously, even if it has a marginalizing effect to a certain degree. Men are less likely to project unpleasant things onto you, as they are unlikely to notice you that much. It's a trade off of greater discomforts for lesser discomforts. But none of it is yet embracing true feminine power as you're just trying to mitigate various blocks to the feminine being able to be integrated into your conscious awareness and by extension the collective consciousness. That takes a lot of letting go and the cultivation of receptivity, emotional intelligence, and intuition. I hope this helps. I definitely assumed that you're a woman, so my answer was based on that assumption. If it's not the case, my response may differ.

Yes...

So, would you say that it's accurate that you don't have any emotional reaction or attachments to being or seeming masculine or simply avoiding seeming feminine?

Stage Orange is the beginning of the gender role rejection that women engage in. But it is more of a rejection of femininity and an adoption of masculinity, at that stage. And it is based in unconscious internalized misogyny. Imagine a woman who detests the color pink, shoots guns, rejects feelings, can compete with the guys, and is a cool girl who's one of the girls who loves beer and pizza. At Green, however, there begins to be a questioning of gender roles and their efficacy in general in response to the awareness of the LGBT community and a growing awareness of internalized misogyny as a phenomenon. So, at Green, it is less of a cleaving to masculinity as with Orange, but a rejection fo the existence of masculine and feminine in general... and an unconscious falling back into the masculine principle unknowingly. And yes. Both are necessary transitions that allow women to transcend the confines of the traditional gender roles. This is key to allowing the emergence of the Divine Feminine within human society. They are part of the liberation process, but that will have to be shed in later stages. Exactly. And there is an early part of the Green transition that is genuinely a place of not knowing how to express in a masculine way. There is a resistance to the traditional masculine way of doing things as there is a dawning awareness that masculine preference has caused a lot of issues and that a lot of it is very toxic. So, a lot of guy's over-correct and find it difficult to own and express their masculinity because they don't want to be part of the problem. They are not aware that their traditional ideas of masculinity and manhood are just ideas, and that the actual energy of the masculine is something that can be expressed in other ways that are not destructive. So, the transition to Green is genuinely a bit scary. And men who value their masculinity above all else will likely never make the transition. "As more females transition through Green and into Yellow, they will be less attracted to traditionally masculine "alpha males". They will be more attracted to Green and Yellow level masculinity. I think we are seeing this now. Traditionally masculine men are seeing techies, hipsters, snowflakes, yoga, politically correct males getting in on their alpha male action. These wussy Green men are becoming more successful with women, which causes confusion, anxiety and frustration in blue/orange men (hence an attraction to speakers like Jordan Peterson). Yes?" If I look at the type of men that I'm interested in, I would say that what you say is true. But I wouldn't describe these men as un-masculine or in denial of masculinity as men are at early Green. I do genuinely have a lack of attraction to early Green men who are in resistance to their masculinity. But I also don't find them as tiring as Orange men who are obsessed with a limited version of masculinity who feel like they're pretending every step of the way. The former I lack attraction to, but the latter I find directly unattractive and have an aversion to. So, it the men I tend to find attractive, their masculinity is definitely a major facet of what I find attractive in them. But I would describe their masculinity as subtle and unpretended. It just emanates from them through a congruence with their essential nature without the distortion of societal notions... but with the ability to engage in both gender roles or neither without wavering from his natural energetic signature... which is mostly masculine with some feminine, both integrated. So, his masculinity emanates from an integrity with himself as a naturally masculine oriented person, as opposed to an obligation to perform particular versions of masculinity and wearing a mask. And there is still a hint of the "dominance" and strength that is attractive in the alpha male archetype. The alpha male becomes a latent aspect of the highly developed man who is highly developed but still has an energetic congruence with his animalistic nature. But the dominance is not domineering and just exists as a background potential... like a weapon in the holster of a really responsible person or a lion with a superior lion-tamer. Strength and the ability to protect if necessary are still attractive qualities in a man. The core instincts still exist that polarity attracts. So, most women will be attracted to men who are centered in their masculine energy. But it won't be a brutish or immature masculinity. It will be subtle. To allude to some men who embody this, I always imagine someone like Rupert Spira or Adyashanti when I think about subtle and unpretended masculinity. It simply is what is there, but they aren't trying to perform it. And it may seem strange to mention these men as attractive, but I find them to both be very much so. But most of my strongest examples are men that I know from real-life who are just highly developed people who have a high degree of awareness and integrity with themselves.

@XYZ In some respects, it is more feminine because it makes such leaps and bounds toward the integration of the feminine principle as compared to the previous stages which were all about resistance to the feminine. So, it is the first stage since the transition from Beige to beginning Purple, where the feminine begins to rebrandish itself in collective consciousness. And in Beige and early Purple the feminine is dangerous to the survival of human beings in a way unparalleled in other, more developed stages. That is why the widespread resistance to it came up in the first place. All the other stages past that and up until Orange have to do with the intention toward the suppression of the feminine as those stages are emblematic of man's struggle against the powerful forces of MOTHER Nature. This struggle of man against Mother Nature is not won until Orange comes upon the scene. But at that point, the goal quickly reverses. Orange is where we become too powerful over Mother Nature and too slanted in the masculine direction. So, there is a need to transition to feminine allowing Green to avoid destroying ourselves at Orange. Orange is by far the most dangerous stage. So, the struggle of man against nature and as an extension masculinity against femininity, is a major defining characteristic of later stage Purple, Red, Blue, and Orange. But in late Orange, there is a need for there to be a change in the view of the masculine in order to make room for the feminine to be reintegrated into society. And this is largely what that underlying transition of the past century has been about with all the Feminism, environmental activism, and equality movements in general. But in every stage there is a masculine intonation and feminine intonation of the stage, in terms of human ways of being. For example, in stage Blue we can imagine both a masculine intonation of that stage and a feminine intonation of that stage, even if we could call that stage masculine in nature. The same is true with stage Orange, which we could also call more masculine in nature. But there is still a general male intonation and a general female intonation. With Green, there are many other intonations than male and female that begin to be recognized. And gender is not confined to to a binary. But there is still a masculine and feminine intonation. The problem with Green in this way is that at the beginning of the transition there is a fear of traditional gender norms as there is fear of going backwards. In early Green, women tend to like to buck the gender roles of the past because there is a sense of freedom from the confines of gender roles being like a prison. So, it is much easier for women to ignore the impact of gender and polarity, as there feels like there is a lot more to lose from identifying with femaleness and femininity. There is power to be regained in divorcing one's self from the feminine gender role, as it is understood in early Green that femininity=prison. So, this discomfort tends to jettison women into early Green before men get there. Liberation is easier when the alternative sucks. With men, however, they tend to find empowerment in the gender roles of the past because it paints a narrative where they are in charge and superior. And everything is polar and a lot sexier for them. So, men don't like this ignoring of gender as a factor because they see their gender role as empowering and rewarding, sexually and otherwise. To many Orange men, masculinity=super power. So, there is a desire to remain in Orange and play the status games of "Who's the most masculine?" And many men get comfortable in Orange because they fear letting go of that perceived power. So, men don't often see the power of transitioning to Green. The issue here is that the idea of masculinity tends to supplant their actual masculinity at the Orange stage and before. Their actual masculinity can't be found until men liberate themselves from the norms of the past in late Green or early Yellow. But a mature Green man, in later Green, will start to get in touch with his actual subtle masculinity that is a separate thing entirely from cultural notions of the masculine. For this, you can imagine a man who is embodying the masculine effortlessly without attachment and in a very subtle way that radiates from him and is not try-hard or immature. But this will be unlikely to be fully realized until he starts to make the jump to Yellow.

Uh oh! I just realized that I put this post in the wrong section. If any mods can switch it, I'd really appreciate it.

What if you were perceived as simply being unmanly? Like if they (or you) thought you failed to live up to the societal standards of manhood.

I can break it down a little bit. So, first off, how do you feel if you believe that your actions will be perceived as feminine, woman-like, or simply not masculine or not masculine enough? If you perceive yourself or think others are perceiving you as being like a woman, then what is your internal experience in terms of thought and emotions?