Emerald

I'm a YouTuber. Ideally, I post once a week on the same day. The best days to do this is one weekends... especially Saturday and Sunday. I try to aim for a video every Saturday... but I'm failing at this now since it's been a couple of months since I've made a video. At any rate, do as I say, not as I do. It takes me about 1 hour to write the script. It takes about 1 to 2 hours to set up my camera/sound/lighting set up and do my make-up and hair. It takes me 1 and a half hours to film it and get a headshot for the thumbnail. Then it takes me 2 or 3 hours to edit and about half an hour to render. Then it takes about 2 or 3 hours to upload. While it's uploading, I make my thumbnail image which takes usually less than an hour. I also use this time to tag and title the video as well as to write a key word rich description. So, from beginning to the end of the posting and publishing phase, it's roughly 7.5 to 10.5 hours of dynamic work time. Then, I also spend a couple hours on the front end of posting my video to tweak it and get it closer to the top of the search rankings and optimize it in that way. I also share it out over all of my social media and to my email list. Research-wise, I mostly write intuitively about my own insights. But every now and again, I'll have to look up some information if I'm sharing something that someone else said... which I always give credit for. But most of the video is intuitively derived, so I don't do much research. Also, I never follow a script word for word. I have an outline where I have everything that I want to mention, then I try to convey it as conversationally as possible. I still have quite a few cuts in my videos though.

I have a YT channel, and I also have a coaching business. I just offer my services in life-coaching and allow the clients to pick whichever topics that they want to address. I've helped people with anxiety before. So, there is naturally going to be some cross-over with the field of psychology. The main difference is that you're not qualified to treat any illnesses. Also, life coaching is about helping people reach goals primarily. So, mental health itself is not the goal, as in psychology. The goal is to remove barriers to be able to live the lives they want to live. And you do so by facilitating exploration and asking questions. So, what I did was to make sure that I had a coaching agreement for everyone to sign and I really stressed in the agreement that I'm not a psychologist and that life-coaching is not meant to treat any psychological illnesses.

Transcending the attachment to sexuality (or anything else, for that matter) comes about gradually through shadow work, meditation, consciousness work, etc. It is not something that can or should be willed and chosen by you. It comes about on its own when it's meant to unfold, and it does so outside of the control of the conscious mind's decision to do so. If you try to stop yourself from having sexual needs, then you'll just end up repressing and having a "contents under pressure" situation. And you just end up with another restrictive ego structure to add to your identity that you'll call "purity" or "celibacy" or whatever it is. Either way, it will only be an affair of the mind and not the heart or body. So, my recommendation is to explore these sexual desires both meditatively and through actually experiencing the things you desire. Do not resist your emotions or condemn them... instead get curious about them and see where they lead. See what the actual desire is that lies below all other desires. Do not repress, embrace with curiosity and love.

I have to have a really high degree of trust in the person I am with to remain with them. I don't have any kind of tolerance for a man being lukewarm about the relationship and feeling like the rug may be yanked from under me. So, I naturally pick up on and weed out a lot of guys who are the cheating type and the non-committal types. So, if my partner were famous, I would probably act very similar to how I act now. I don't really get very jealous. And if he messed up once or twice over the course of our relationship, I would understand and forgive him since people can make mistakes, especially if they are in a situation where they are facing new-found temptations. But if it became an ongoing problem, I would break up with him because I would feel unstable in the relationship and would have to fear getting STDs as well as a whole slew of other potential issues.

If I were in the guy's position, I'd frame it as a question first. So, you could ask, "Hey do you like sushi?" And if she says yes, then invite her to a specific place that has sushi you want to take her to. Or if she says no, then ask her what her favorite kind of food is. Then invite her to a specific place that has that type of food. Same situations with movies but with genres. Ask, "Hey do you like horror movies?" If she says yes, invite her to a specific horror movie. If she says no, ask her her favorite movie genre and invite her to a specific movie in that genre. If she tries to change plans, then you can be flexible and give her another option. Chances are, if she understands the point of a date, she won't fight you on it. But if she does challenge you on it, just give other options.

Don't get too in the mind about it. Just say it if you feel it. But don't say it in anticipation of any particular outcome. That will add a lot of baggage to the moment.

Consider that you might have to be more direct with her if she's autistic. People with autism don't tend to pick up on social cues, so you may need to ask her very directly things that you could typically hint at with others. So, it may not be obvious to her to telly you that she had a great night with you because it just doesn't come onto her radar. Also, a lot of the subtle flirty/seduction stuff that RSD recommends may not really hit with her because it requires the ability to read between the lines. I recommend being a bit straight with her as to how you feel, as opposed to getting defensive or sending hints, which would both probably go down poorly and hurt her. Also, autistic people tend to be really into one thing. So, maybe Feminism is that thing for her. And she keeps going on and on about and is fixated upon it because she's autistic.

I recommend having a relationship for a few years before considering marriage. That might be looked down upon culturally, but you really need that to know if you're going to be compatible long-term. And since marriage is a strong commitment that will totally fuck up your life if you get it wrong, you should really know her EXTREMELY well and enjoy her company before considering marriage.

A lot of people are recommending that you do art every day. This can be good advice but is definitley not a requirment. Being a great artist doesn't require that. Also, don't try to be a great artist, because this aim will make you miss your mark. Learning about art and learning the basics is important, but it really comes down to what you're trying to communicate. It's not about competing to be the best artist. It's about birthing into reality, the internal contents in whichever way they want to come out. I recommend taking a few months and really immersing yourself in the basics. Check out book, "Drawing on the Right side of the Brain" by Betty Edwards. This will teach you how to see (because you don't currently know how to actually see) so that you can learn to draw/paint realistically if you want. Also become acquainted with the elements of art and the principles of design. These are really all the basic groud-work knowledge that you absolutely need to start developing your skills. There are other things to learn as well about color and reflective light and other things like that, but these are great tools for groundwork. Then, I recommend practicing with observation and drawing and painting. And with painting, learning how to mix colors to match the tones that your eyes are actually seeing. It's rare to use any colors directly out of the tube. I highly recommend working with nude models, since the flesh is like a really dull mirror and gets its color from reflecting other colors around it. So, you can find subtle reds, greens, blues, purples, oranges, and yellows in the skin tone and having these colors in there is really the only way to make the flesh look realistic. Otherwise, your just using a bunch of tans and browns, which is what the illusion of flesh as a mirror makes it register as to the mind. But there's really a rainbow in the flesh. And to a certain extend, everything has this mirroring effect to where you can find unexpected colors in things if you really start to perceive what you're looking at accurately. Then, after a few months of practicing and starting to have the insights necessary to have skill in art (which doesn't take very long), you can pick a topic to do a series on, so that you can explore a topic more deeply through your art. So, if you have a theme or concentration, each art piece can be like a staircase to descend yourself down into what you're hoping to communicate and birth into existence.

This is not true but I can see how the truth could be distorted to look like this from the outside. Women don't like to be below men in value and don't like to be treated as lesser. And if women are treated this way, she'll lock up and go into masculine mode and come at the man who suggests this swinging, if she has healthy boundaries. However, women do tend to like to take the receptive role in relationships and generally like to be feminine in relation to a masculine guy. It's just that society frames femininity as lesser than masculinity, so it looks like women want to be beneath men because there is an implicit assumption that to be feminine is lesser. But it's really just a different orientation to life and relationships that is more free-flowing and receptive. And it's fun to be lead by a man in many situations, as there is something romantic about it and it puts most women in a very soft and melty state that feels really good. But this is the case, if and only if they feel safe with that man and trust that he won't abuse his power. Otherwise, there is no capacity to be in that softened state and women have to harden themselves and be in the masculine to fight against the man that abuses his power and treats her as lesser. So, an imbalanced relationship relative to value and power, makes it to where women can't be fulfilled. So, your impression is the exact opposite of what women generally want... which can be summed up in the four masculine archetypes... King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. And relative to King and Warrior, there is an attraction to men who can be protectors. And being a protector implies the ability to lead and be aggressive and do violence if there is a threat. The problem comes when he instead uses that capacity to lead and be aggressive to harm the woman instead of protect her due to his lack of self control and lack of emotional integration and mastery. So, an attractive man is like a lion tamer with a lion. The more aggressive the lion is and the more self control the man has, the more attractive he will be as a partner because he has the capacity for aggression plus high levels of self-control and emotional mastery. A man with a weak lion is not attractive because his lion tamer has nothing to tame. A man with an unskillful lion tamer is not attractive because his lion won't obey him and it will wreak havoc on the lives of his romantic partners. The problem is when women can't tell that the man's lion tamer has no control over the lion. So, at once, I recognize why you would be under this impression that women like to be beneath men. But I also see how your lens distorts this pattern and makes it about a dominance/submission relationship between men and women instead of about a communicative/receptive relationship between men and women. Also, men who are always sexual with women and wearing their sexuality on their sleeves is a clear indication of an unskilled lion tamer. So, this also is not attractive. It comes off more as desperate and creepy. But a man whose sexuality subtly glimmers out through his platonic ways, is a very fetching man because it shows that his lion his fierce and that his lion tamer is highly skilled and has a lot of control over the lion. Tame lions are very fun to play with. Untamed lions are not.

Where's the intimacy at, if you're just going to play a fantasy role the entire time? Not to mention a fantasy role that's seemingly meant to cater to the sensibilities and proclivities of a 19th century gentleman. I think the desire to always fit into this role would eventually come to grate on a modern man's nerves, even if he appreciates the attention and care. This feels very steeped in the insecurity that a man will leave and the idea of FOREVER... which as an idea, ruins the beauty of a relationship. Relationships should not be polluted with the idea of eternity, as it destroys all present moments. And if a woman is clinging onto a man hard enough to sublimate herself into the idea of a fantasy woman, then the man will naturally be repelled and seek intimacy with a woman who can be real with him. Both partners should give each other love, intimacy, support, and care in the ways that they are best able to give and receive it. And in doing so they will feed eachother and the relationship, and the relationship will be worth keeping alive because everyone's needs are being met. And these bits of advice may or may not work to make a man feel loved, Maybe some men feel loved by a woman cooking for him. Maybe some men don't really feel loved through acts of service such as that. Maybe he would appreciate more if the woman took a vested interest in his passions. And finding out these unique ways to love your partner is the key to longevity if longevity is what you want. And I'm all for treating a man very well in a relationship and appreciating what he contributes, and even spoiling him a bit from time to time . But this entire post feels like a very surreal bit of advice to give to contemporary woman-folk. It feels like some old 1950s ad that's really meant to sell some kind of product to desperate housewives.

I think the main thing is to cultivate sensitivity and receptivity. And the latter is contingent upon the former. So, you can start by getting in touch with your emotions more, and to practice expressing from them. That way, as you own your femininity, it will be genuine and not just a caricature of femininity. So, cultivating emotional sensitivity is key. You could also look into various tricks to accentuating your feminine attributes. But this is just 20% of the battle.

There are many heart-centered reasons why you shouldn't do it, as well as many relative reasons not to do it. But from the absolute, there is no such thing as right or wrong. So, reality does not abhor suicide. It's all part of the one thing that is all things. But from the perspective of considering health, harmony, and functionality; committing suicide is inherently unhealthy, unharmonious, and dysfunctional. So, it is not good for you or your loved ones. But on the absolute, there is nothing invalid or wrong under the sun. God loves all and abhors none.

Wonderful advice.

@How to be wise Consider that you may not really know what you think you know. Listen to your heart, not your mind.

Be careful not to use spiritual truths to write over your emotions. That is just using the truth to lie to yourself. Forget everything you think you know and everything you've learned about spirituality. Realize that you do not know anything at all. Only then, you can see what's really there. Until then, your spiritual beliefs will be nothing more than a smoke screen for the emotions and thoughts that swirl around inside of you.

I watched this video a week or so ago. It's really clear that all this alpha talk is often just a cover for deep insecurities and you can sense it is Elliot's need to delineate alpha men from beta men, to ensure himself to be categorized as an alpha. So, this is a perfect example of that.

Ahh... So, that was what all that commotion was earlier. I had thought it was just squirrels. Who knew?

I think the most important thing is to really get to know your fears about having children and your fears about not having children. If the fear leads, then you won't really know what you want because the fear will cloud your sense of clarity. So, it's important to be aware of all of your fears so that you can allow them to be there but detach from them. Then, you can really start to tap into your emotions and where they lead you. And if you find you are inspired toward having children, then things will fall into place accordingly. But if you don't feel inspired toward having children, then just allow that to be as well. Also, if it helps, adoption will always be available to you if you should have the motherly urge come online at some point after you're unable to bare children. So, if you really want motherhood, it is always a possibility. And if you have resistance and fear of adoption as an option, also be aware of what those fears are and put them on you list of fears to be aware of.

Funnily enough, the idea of the Alpha wolf was discovered by a scientist who was breeding wolves in captivity. And he recognized that one wolf would come out as the Alpha. But later on, as he researched wolves in the wild who were not in captivity, he found there was no clear Alpha wolf and that his theory was only true with captive wolves. And so the guy who created the theory of Alpha male wolves found later that it was only a behavior that sprung about as a symptom of captivity and the emotional state of the caged wolves. You can find this similar kind of thing in prisons, where small packs gather together and there is one clear leader in each group. Human beings do this in captivity as well. But generally speaking, there are no actual alpha males in the human species that everyone would agree on as alphas. However, there are plenty of masculine men and plenty of inspiring men, and they have great leadership potential. The idea of alpha is flawed because it automatically sticks men in this competition mindset, where it is a zero sum hierarchical game with one man on top and everyone else as betas. And I notice that men really torture themselves emotionally with this idea, while also holding out hope that they can one day become the alpha. So, the idea of the alpha male itself is ironically a kind of psychological captivity that many men impose upon themselves and eachother. And it really cuts those men off from their actual masculine power source because they're always looking outside themselves to see where they fall in the hierarchy as a way to protect themselves against feelings of low self-worth imposed upon them by the high standards society heaps upon men and boys to have this that or the other quality.

There are skills to be learned for any given society. But masculinity and femininity have no form in and of themselves. And the forms and symbols they project forth onto is highly contingent upon the social structure. For example, in contemporary culture, wearing make-up is almost solely imbued with the feminine in collective consciousness. Make-up itself, however, is both Yin and Yang but neither manly nor womanly inherently. So, if we look at a tribal society, the men may wear war paint as an intensely masculine symbol. So, the collective consciousness of that tribe may imbue the projection of masculine energy onto what is similar in form to what we imbue feminine energy onto. Think of masculinity as a light with no form of its own. The same is true of femininity. And this formlessness is exactly why it's a subtle energy. Light has no form of its own, and yet it gives solidity to everything we perceive. The same is true of the masculine and feminine. So, if masculinity is the light, then think of society and collective consciousness as a lens that that light (as a subtle energy) shines into and produces a tangible expression from the otherwise formless masculine. So, in our society, men don't need to be taught to hunt to hone their masculine energy as it is not a necessity in our society. So, that lens can be used, but it need not be so for a man to own or re-integrate is masculine energy. The masculine is there regardless. And if a man gets too caught up in socially recognized symbols of masculinity (such as hunting or stoicism), he will become so focused on the form that he will not be able to see the light. And he will write over his natural masculine essence with socially scripted and canned masculine symbols. So, his ideas of masculinity will block his actual masculinity. It will be form without substance. But a man who can find his masculinity inside of himself, and own all of himself in his natural masculine/feminine signature, will be incredibly magnetic. Most men are so busy trying to add masculinity onto themselves from the outside by imbuing themselves with mostly dead cultural symbols to hide their fears and vulnerabilities of somehow being less than. But a man who truly owns his natural subtle un-pretended masculinity (as well as his Anima) is a treasure to be around, and people will naturally find him magnetic, both romantically and platonically.

Don't worry about being an alpha male. Just work on owning your unique masculine/feminine signature and you will become magnetic. Masculinity is subtle. It cannot be learned from the outside. It can only be discovered from the inside.

He was talking about Andrew Yang, not Bernie Sanders.

You'll find that politicians can find tons of ways to pay for free stuff for the ultra-rich and huge corporations. What we have in America is corporate welfare, where Jeff Bezos (the richest man in the entire world) not only paid $0 in taxes in 2017 and 2018. He also got money back from the government. Not to mention huge bank bailouts. And corporations not paying living wages to their employees, forcing their employees into welfare programs like food stamps and cash assistance. So, corporations paying poverty wages is also being subsidized by the government, simply so those people can eat and live. So, there's always a TON of money to spend when it is in the interests of the upper-crust. Yet, when it comes to things that benefit the average person like healthcare and education, it's always "Look at all this frivolous free stuff. We can't afford that!" And there's this huge act like they just can't do it. But they can. In fact, a Medicare for all, single payer healthcare system (aka socialized medicine) would actually save between $2 trillion and $5 trillion over the course of the next ten years compared to what we currently have. Also, free college for all would cost abut $80 billion per year. America currently has a military budget that's over $700 billion per year. And it just got a $100 billion dollar increase last year. So, the increase (just the increase) to the military budget from 2017 to 2018, would more that cover free college. So, it's really just a matter of re-allocating government funds from things that only benefit the very wealthy to things that benefit the people. America is already a mixed economy with both capitalism and socialism. So, the use of the word "socialism" as a scare tactic is quite laughable. We already have it and always have. It's just that our socialism that we currently have (tons of corporate socialism) is benefiting the few at the expense of the many. So, what Bernie Sanders is proposing is to re-arrange the socialism we have to work for the common good. But this video shows how everything can be paid for quite simply. There are about 20 different solutions that are given. And if we only pick a handful of them, it will be more than enough to pay for the programs Bernie is proposing.

I made a video on this topic, since I've also gotten myself into this same trap...