Emerald

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Everything posted by Emerald

  1. Actually, esoterically speaking, Femininity is related to groundedness and Masculinity related to flight. It's why many religions have Earth Goddesses and Sky Gods. It's also why the masculine is associated with air and fire while the feminine is associated with Earth and water. Femininity is about being, stillness, and stability. Masculinity is about doing, activity, and change. Femininity is about the body and the emotions. Masculinity is about intellect and spiritual ideals. Femininity is about substance without movement. Masculinity is about movement without substance. Femininity is the particle nature of reality. Masculinity is the wave nature of reality. Of course, they are both one. Just don't confuse these polar principle in terms of what people in society generally display. Most people are cut off from their natural energetic signature.
  2. Exactly what I'm trying to articulate. Hard to get people to hear it though.
  3. If you're under 18, don't try to hit on older women at all. If they respond well to your advances, then that is a serious problem and they don't have good character. In the future, when you are an adult, just talk to older women as a fellow adult. There is no big age distinction after a while.
  4. You sure are doing a lot of assuming and putting words in my mouth. I have actually experienced the territory before, though it isn't the state I consistently abide in. But maps are necessary for most things. Our intellect's only function is to create maps. And that works for 99.999% of endeavors... except realizing the absolute. And our desire to map that territory is what insulates us from that territory. So, in that regard, you are correct. But go ahead and try to destroy all your maps. It's not actually possible. But if you somehow managed to do so, you wouldn't even be able to open the window (or even know what a window is) because every practical function or piece of knowledge connects to a mental map of meaning. Creating these maps is what the intellect does as a tool. And it's a necessary tool if we want reality to be more than an abstract smear of color and sound. Meaning-making (aka map-making) is necessary for living. Just as you need false dichotomy to function practically in life. So, "up and down" is a false dichotomy that only exists from the practical perspective. So, the idea of up and down is a map based in a relative perspective. But if you "destroy" that map, what stops you from walking off a building? Nothing. And that's why we need the map. In order to truly be conscious we need not destroy any maps. We need only to recognize that they are indeed maps. So, you must understand that truth and falsehood is a false dichotomy in and of itself. And you can't live a life without relative truths... aka absolute falsehoods... like up/down, beginning/end, inside/outside, here/there, Yin/Yang, masculine/feminine, etc. And again, the wound doesn't exist on the absolute. Everything is perfect from that perspective... even pain and war. But on the relative, the wound is experienced as an issue. And it affects everyone. So, everyone will be engaged with this wound, either consciously or unconsciously. And those in the former category will be far more equipped to deal with the changes that are coming in society. And I share my perspective to do a small part in helping those changes be birthed into existence. Also, you are making a distinction between the Shiva nature of reality and the Shakti nature of reality... thus creating a dualistic delusion where none exists. You pretend that only absolute truth is valid. That isn't true. Only absolute truth is absolute. But relative perspectives and truths are also valid. And to really be non-dual, you must be able to hold space for both the relative and the absolute... as the relative is a part of the absolute. And the absolute wouldn't be the absolute without the relative.
  5. I understand this. And I don't have an issue with men generally doing pick-up or game. It can be an important phase in a man's life. And if I were a man, I'd do the same to increase my chances. Sex is important and there is nothing fundamentally wrong with wanting lots of sexual experiences, regardless of gender. That said, I do have a problem with misrepresentation of the female perspective and female sexuality. So, I'm pushing back on the idea that men who study pick-up understand female psychology... because they really don't. They just understand what works for them practically in terms of their agenda... which is getting laid usually or even getting a girlfriend. But success in men's agenda, doesn't mean that it's success in terms of women's agenda. And that's a common misconception that I see a lot of PUAs and game guys make. And that includes Leo, which is why I was pushing back on what he said. So, I'm illuminating women's biases (which are rarely articulated precisely) to push back on misconceptions about women that come from men's biases that tend not to be pushed back on enough in the proper way. But the male misconceptions about women are really clear from the female perspective, and they stand in the way of men and women being able to truly connect. If you think you understand something already, but your understanding is false and biased, then you'll never be able to learn. It's like, if your cup is already full of falsehood, no truth can be poured in. And that's especially true if those falsehoods generally serve your agenda. So, if you just want to bust some nuts, then you don't have to listen to this perspective. But if you want a real relationship, you have to drop misconceptions about women's preferences and sexuality that are born out of only WHAT gets the response that you're looking for, versus WHY it gets a response and what the internal experience of that is like.
  6. Actually, I speak directly to what causes Incel and MGTOW to crop up... which is the disintegration of the Feminine in men. It's Anima possession on the collective level. So, I am very intimately aware of men's struggles with this because they are dealing with another form of the collective wound... because it's the same collective wound that women are dealing with. It's the mother wound, of the repressed feminine. So, when I speak about the Feminine I do so for the sake of men who are in the throws of dealing with Anima possession which could also be why you think that women hold the male perspective lower in their minds. You project a lot onto me, and think I'm being misandristic. But that comes from Anima issues, and disintegration and underdevelopment of the Feminine side of yourself. If you connect to that part, women won't seem as threatening and you're less likely to perceive that which is not misandristic as misandristic.
  7. Listen, if you really want to share with me something that I don't already seem to be aware of, you should be more specific. I am receptive to learning new things and getting myself out of the way. Mind you, when I share from a particular relative perspective, it doesn't mean that that's the only perspective that I'm aware of. I pick whichever perspective has the most efficacy in a given situation. It's important to meet people where they are. And on this particular part of the forum, this perspective is the most clarifying and actionable for cutting through misconceptions and mindsets that cover over a deeper and richer experience of their own natural energies and ability to connect. And this comes directly from my experience of myself and what I've heard from others that my perspective has opened them more to. So, if you think I'm stuck on this particular thing, then I have to disagree. This is just one perspective among many perspectives to explore. And I see this as quite akin to a framework like Spiral Dynamics. It explains a lot of things through framework, but the map isn't the territory. Maps can be useful though, unless you're already at the place where 'x' marks the spot. It's only at the 'x' that all maps lose their efficacy. But it's like a teacher who is teaching 9th grade algebra. They aren't 'stuck' on 9th grade algebra themselves. They are TEACHING 9th grade algebra. But they are there to help their students understand 9th grade algebra, which requires them to speak about it a lot. The same is true for me here. This is a perspective that I've explored a lot into. So, I want to give people the 'next right thing' that they need to individuate and grow. So, I talk a lot about the same things because the collective is at the stage where I was when I began my journey a decade ago. And I want to help as many people as I can to understand these issues at a deeper level.
  8. I do enjoy teaching. That's why I do it. And your attempts to dissuade me are equally adorable. And I am a PUA... so you better watch out little lady.
  9. The main questions to ask is if you want to teach is, how is this perspective actionable for people? And if it isn't actionable, there is no point in sharing it in the first place. It just confuses people more. This is why I don't teach from the absolute perspective or any perspective that is likely to cause more confusion than clarity... aka "Cast not pearls..." You need to use words, interpretations, symbols, and narrative to effectively communicate to people. Now, all of these things are misleading in the sense that they don't reflect absolute truth (no perspective truly can) because they are based in relative truths. But relative truths are not invalid and do lead to a lot more clarity. They are true from their own perspective... just like the length of the day and year on different planets or the false but practical notion that dichotomies like up/down and big/small exist. So, if we are aware of the non-duality (not two) that means there is no true distinction between absolute and relative truth. Therefore, to invalidate relative truth is to create a split and a distinction within reality as to which perspectives are valid and which are not. But the real truth is that all perspectives is what infinity refers to. Here is a video on not invalidating relative truths, so that you understand how to teach to people where they are and are able to actually understand things from different perspective instead of invalidating all perspectives... Also, I do have many perspectives on Ego. Here is a couple though these are not the only valid perspective, of course. I have another video on the topic as well and may cover the topic from other perspectives in the future...
  10. Actually, I've gotten quite a lot out of interacting on this forum friendship-wise, business-wise, and influence-wise. Also, if you feel that you have a better way of addressing the current situation (in which wounds do exist... though you could say that they are more like growing pains on the macro level), then feel free to share your perspective. And if you can point to specific areas where my perspective is false, go ahead and share it. I'm an open book. I look forward to having a more complete perspective on the matter since I'm always diving deep to discover more about these collective phenomena. That said, I am sharing from things that I've observed. So, you won't be able to convince me that what I experience is not what I experience. But I have found that many people have benefitted from my perspective and garnered a deeper understanding of the world and themselves, and that it's given them a framework for understanding their own pain and discomfort at deeper and more actionable levels.
  11. On the absolute this is true. On the relative, we do have a lot of individual and collective wounds. So, unless someone abides in the absolute, this perspective you're sharing will just cover over important things that need to be addressed. Imagine making this argument on the physical level. You go into a hospital room where someone's just been shot ten times. And You say, "Hey great new! There are no "wounds, there's just luggage." What you must understand is that, just like a gunshot wound, trauma wounds are still there in the absolute. It's just that your relationship to them changes. But let's be real here, most people will never taste the absolute. So, your perspective just shrouds more things in invalidation. It makes people less conscious, not more conscious, to ignore an aspect of reality just for the sake of some abstract truth that you don't even live in yourself.
  12. You're really straw-manning me here. I don't think you've ever read my posts on this forum before, because it's so off the mark. You're projecting that I'm okay with misandry... which is simply not true. Number one, if I see a woman who's off base, I'm just as willing to push back on her perspective. And it's not as though you can find ANY posts of me beating up on men. But I do call out distortions in perspective when I see it. And whenever I see self-biases that I know are not based in truth, I try to educate. Also, I don't go around calling people sexist. But I'm not going to pretend that certain sexist behaviors are not sexist just because it offends people to call a spade a spade. So, it isn't mean. It's factual.Also, I'm very unlikely to use the word 'sexist' in the first place to refer to these distortions and biases, unless it's relevant and helpful for the person to see past their delusions. Often times, it just requires an explanation. So, if you think I just go around "calling people out" or shaming people or something, then you are not reading my posts. And those that are fragile to gender/sexuality issues and really dug in on their distortions will never hear it. But since it's a public forum, that person doesn't really need to be the one that hears it. Many others will. Also, your last paragraph is partially true. Very few people on this thread are seeing past their own self-biases. But given that men's self-biases are far more prevalent here and that women's self-biases are being looked at as a false perspective by many of the men who believe that they know better, it is incumbent upon me to share the ins and outs of the female perspective at a deeper level. So, while women's self-biases are just as much biased as men's are and are thus untrue... it is true that those are our biases. And most men here have an incredibly distorted idea of women's biases based in lots of false notions about women's sexuality and perspective. Too many men think they read a few pick up books and watch some RSD and suddenly they "know female psychology". And of course that's not true, and even believing so is a defense mechanism because they feel powerless and want to feel more control. Whether men realize it or not, they really do want the love of a woman... especially the inner woman. So, these sources can tell you what generally works if you want to get laid... but they don't tell you why it works in a way that's accurate. And this misrepresentation of women's sexuality, self-biases, and perspectives is a burden to men as well. So, just because other people on here are sharing from their self-biases, doesn't mean I'm doing that in the same light as they are. My goal is always to bring new perspectives to the light of consciousness. I understand that men work differently and have different agendas than me... usually. Women tend to naturally orient to men through the heart. Men tend not to orient to women through their heart until they've gone through years of maturing first. When this happens, the agenda is similar. But before a certain age the male agenda and female agenda is apples and oranges. Young men are in a developmental phase where it's about meeting women and gaining experience. The problem comes when these men have a few one-night stands because they watched some videos on pick up and attended a couple seminars and think they have women figured out and they tell themselves all kind of distorted stories that are simply not true and are a misrepresentation of women's sexuality. And if those young men continue to cling onto these distorted ideas of female sexuality, they will never be able to grow into a mature man with an integrated feminine side who can actually have a functional relationship from the heart. He will run around in circles chasing the things he "knows" and never step a foot out of that safe ideology. So, I offer my perspective and biases as a woman, to push back on their misconceptions about women. And not just for women... for men too.
  13. I'm not sure if you're referring directly to me or not. But I am definitely not making mean or snarky comments, nor have I ever attacked anyone's personality in my posts or critiques. And I don't diagnose anyone as I am not a psychoanalyst. I simply share what I perceive and what I've learned in regard to the topics at hand whether they relate to sexuality, consciousness work, or any other topic, just like everyone else on this forum. Now, Anna is correct in that there is objectively a lot of sexism that goes on here on this section of the forum. And it is very uncomfortable to be a female in this section because lots of stuff men say here does feel like lemon juice in wounds. And the uncomfortable feelings that get triggered are very natural. So, if a woman reacts defensively outwardly, you must understand that it's a very strong instinctual emotional reaction that is based in a real collective wound. But calling something sexist is not a "mean" thing to say. That's just an accurate label to describe the phenomenon. And though I practice remaining respectful and understanding in all my interactions, I don't sugarcoat things or handle people with kid gloves. It's very important to call a spade a spade, even if some people have a bias that prevents them from perceiving it or they get offended by it. But I don't do it to be mean or to belittle anyone, even if that's how they are likely to perceive it. And I don't even behave in a mean way to those who are outright antagonistic to me... which happens often because of the perspectives I share and how threatening they are to many people's status quo. But in order to understand and be of help to anyone, you must be able to hold space for people even if they are incapable of affording you the same courtesy. So, when I call a spade a spade, I do it to be accurate and to illuminate new perspectives to people to help them get un-mired from traps that I've grappled with myself. There's no value in mincing words just because it offends some people or challenges the status quo. Sexism is real and it is common and it is here. And it's unwise to keep one's eyes closed to it.
  14. I'm not saying don't moderate them. What I'm saying is that if you block something out as fundamental as human sexuality, you end up with a contents under pressure situation... that ends up getting in the way of consciousness work and self-actualization. And that's why I disagree that the dating/relationship sub-forum should be deleted. That's all I'm saying. But I understand your feelings, as I feel the same way about sexism. It really doesn't feel good and it salts collective and individual wounds. There's a lot of pain and anger and fear there. And the wounds are deep and ancient and infected. And they effect both men and women, but it's only women who tend to realize it and feel it strongly. And this gives us a unique advantage in helping men and women with this issue. And this is a space where you can bring things to light that can help people that would otherwise be stuck in a bad position. It's a space where you can push back and influence people (men and women) to see what's actually going on. And of course there are many people that don't like to look at this. But I'm not just sharing for their sake. Talking to brick walls is not helpful for the brick wall... and I certainly don't do it for me because it's not fun. But some of the onlookers on this public forum will be deeply influenced. Because I share in this way, so many people are not aware of these things. And I've had quite a few men and women who seek out my services to help them integrate their feminine side. Also, your age is not so relevant to me. And I find it strange that my disagreement with you is being met with the level of resistance that it is on this topic. So, if your assessment is that you have healed your wounds because you're twice my age, then I have to push back on that notion. These are ancient wounds and collective wounds as much as they are individual. And it takes a lot of equanimity to be receptive enough to get deep into the wound enough to start healing it. You have to understand it at such a deep level that you can find compassion even for those men that are spitting vitriol toward women and trying to diminish us. And the compassion grows out of understanding why the wound is effecting them that way. It's really about systems thinking. And because it's a collective wound, you won't be able to fully heal until it's healed in the collective for men and women... which probably won't happen completely any time in my lifetime. But it's about the journey and making things better and better. And if you only focus on the substance of what the 'too far gones' say, you won't see how helpful this kind of awareness is for people. So, the existence of the Dating/Relationship forum tends to produce some low quality content. But it's also the space where the most transformation can happen. Issues always play out on the sexual stage eventually. Repression (in the mind or internet) is not healthy.
  15. Burn out is a good sign for you personally to either step back and take a breather or dig deeper and find the wound it aggravates. The former is good for immediate recooperation, and the latter helps to develop a deeper understanding and higher degrees of equanimity in the face of these pervasive issues. When you become aware of the wound, it has less of an effect on you. You see it for what it is and not what you fear it is. And then, you can help people. This is why the internet's darknesses is so helpful for collective Shadow integration and social evolution. When you face with darkness, the high consciousness thing to do is to shine light on it. The Shadow can't remain in the light. But it can be draining and frustrating sometimes to be on the receiving end of the Shadow. So, breaks are necessary. That said, to cut out the sexuality section, just allows the collective shadow to hide and languish in the dark unconscious. It's best to have things rise to the surface as opposed to suppressing them.
  16. When the desire for sex becomes excessive, it is usually not because of the sex... but instead what the sex represents. So, a man who represses his Feminine side (Anima), will project the disintegrated Anima onto women as whole group. And there will be a simultaneous hatred and resentment as well as an incredibly strong obsessional desire to connect. A man who has an integrated Anima will have a much healthier and non-excessive sex-drive based in the desire for pleasure, procreation, and/or pair-bonding. But it won't be this sense of extreme thirsting for a dearth of the Feminine internally. And because there is no split, he will generally have neutral feelings about women... basing his feelings only on the particulars of the individual woman he interacts with. He will see women as complex individuals capable of both good and evil. But you want to think about the Anima as literally being a split off woman personality inside of a man. Like there is a shadow aspect of him that is literally female, and has all the access to his feminine strengths and wisdom. It gives him access to the subconscious, the intuition, and his emotions. But when this internal woman gets rejected, she behaves as any scorned woman does. She gets jealous and petty and possessive of his personality. And he starts expressing shadow feminine traits... all the while believing he's being masculine in his rejection of the feminine. And his Anima aspect behave with smallness, cattiness, and pettiness toward women... because the Anima is jealous of the attention he pays to them and not her. And so she sabotages his relationships. And projects her own face onto all women which is vengeful and cold because she wants him to feel the same rejection that he has dealt out to her as he pushes her out of his conscious awareness.
  17. I do agree with that as well. It's very uncomfortable to be in this section. But it's important to look squarely at it. The internet gives us a direct look into collective consciousness and the collective Shadow. So, to avoid going to the sexuality section, is to avoid something that everyone is affected by at a very deep level. And no growth comes from avoidance. It's best to turn over the rotting logs and see yourself in the rot. The only way to transcend the discomfort is to dive directly into the rot and understand it deeply. It's hard though and uncomfortable.
  18. I think you may be in for a big surprise then.
  19. There is no "Colombian girl" nature. There is only her nature. Use your intuition. You have one. You don't need to use Xenophobia to do your sorting. As with everything else there is good and bad everywhere you go. There is no way to stereotype your way into finding out. Just see where things go. And if she shows bad signs, then set your boundaries. That's it.
  20. I very much disagree. The only way out is through. This is the place where all the Shadows are.
  21. Haha! The kitchen of the mind is a great metaphor for where they try to keep the Anima. Making mind samiches! All very well said. Especially the last part. It's like going to war sometimes trying to get through all the layers of pain and conditioning.
  22. I actually just wrote a big long list of Yin qualities with their Yang counterparts yesterday. It will help you get the gist of what is being resisted against... Darkness (as opposed to light) Being (as opposed to doing) Intuition (as opposed to logic) Emotions (as opposed to thought) Sensitivity (as opposed to impenetrability) Receptivity (as opposed to communication) Earthliness (as opposed to idealism) Grounding and stability (as opposed to flight) Instincts (as opposed to civilized behaviors) Sensuality (as opposed to pensiveness) Birth and Death (as opposed to eternal life) The moon (as opposed to the sun) The present moment (as opposed to past and future) The arational (as opposed to the rational) The body (as opposed to the mind) Attunement to natural cycles (as opposed to controlling nature) Compassion (as opposed to respect) Wisdom (as opposed to knowledge) Nature (as opposed to society) Laterality (as opposed to hierarchy) Cooperation (as opposed to competition) Interdependence (as opposed to independence) Care for the Earth and all the creatures that crawl upon it (as opposed to prioritizing human survival above all) The ability to feel energy in people and plants as a means of path-finding (as opposed to being guided by set principles) Nurturing (as opposed to protecting) Mystery (as opposed to clarity) Eroticism - aka life-giving (as opposed to catalyzing life) Holistic thinking (as opposed to linear thinking) The ability to hold space for opposites (as opposed to choosing one side) Yes and (as opposed to either or) Non-resistance (as opposed to resistance) Softness (as opposed to hardness) Beauty (as opposed to utility) Our animal nature (as opposed to our God-nature) Creativity (as opposed to productivity) Regenerative chaos and destruction (as opposed to order) Honor for the material and physical world (as opposed to mind over matter) Intimacy (as opposed to detachment) Go through the list and see what triggers you or makes you feel an ego boost. Even though these qualities are not meant to be attached to human gender directly, we often do even if we try not to. So, if we find ourselves in attachment mode or resistance mode with any of these qualities, it's a good place to dig and explore for barriers to integration.
  23. That tends to be why I choose to hang out in this section disproportionately. Lots of people struggling unnecessarily and getting mired down in darkness... making sex and love something of suffering and scarcity, instead of truly fulfilling. The problem is that most men here (and in general) are unknowingly seeking connection to the feminine (or Anima to speak more psychologically). But because they don't know this, they play out the struggles with their Anima onto women. They worship it and they hate that they worship it. They put it up on a pedestal and then give it their all to drag it down. They perceive the feminine as too powerful and feels powerless in the face of it, so they seek to take it down a peg and puff themselves up. And of course, we women-people have nothing to do with the woman inside of his own psyche who he has rejected and thus spites him with so many blows to his self-esteem. But we become the projection screen for his internal antagonist. And it gets damn tiring to be minding your own business and having all this misrepresentation, demonization, dehumanization, and disempowering sentiments flung at you from all directions from a large populace of men that society has failed by teaching them only to honor the masculine side of themselves... leaving them there to struggle there in the psycho-sexual realm with feelings of deep pain and inadequacy. But what they really want deep down is to accept their feminine side, which takes a lot of foresight and bravery to see the value in given the hyper-masculine social indoctrination we all experience. And all those issues play out on the sexual stage... as most internal turmoil eventually does.
  24. It's actually really difficult to integrate your feminine side as a woman (or man for that matter) in a world where the feminine has been repressed and seen as inferior for many thousands of years, and is just now coming to the surface to be reintegrated. Patriarchal society, creates a vacuum where almost no femininity beyond the most basic relational elements of it, can exist. It's only really been in the process of coming back online in the collective for the past 100 years or so since industrialization began. And we still have a long way to go. So, the way to survive and thrive as a woman/girl in contemporary society without a substantial amount of ugliness coming your way is to repress the feminine and join in the reverence for the masculine and develop it in one's self. And development of the masculine side is good for everyone. Otherwise, the woman will never develop herself because she's unlikely to ever leave the small box of traditional feminine social constructs which bears very little resemblance to actual femininity in its full depth and breadth. Society's definition of the feminine is very male-washed and limited as we are still a mostly patriarchal society. So, it is exceptionally difficult to recover your feminine side as a woman because femininity is often cast as a weakness by both men and women, and is often used as a way for men to tell women to get back in the old box. So, it can be a daunting task to get in touch with your feminine power when society is constantly telling you that only the masculine has power and is superior to the feminine. No one wants to be inferior or walked over. So, many women resist their feminine power because they have internalized the same misogyny that is cast all over society. And this is very difficult to unlearn. But if these women got in touch with the divine feminine, most would find the heart of their power there and would embrace the feminine gladly. And it would change the world into a much more compassionate and emotionally intelligent place. Right now, it's so harsh because there is an extreme masculine imbalance and an intense fear of the feminine inherited from our patriarchal past trying to control Mother Nature that had so much power over us before the technology of the current day. We need the feminine to temper it. So, point being, it's very tough to be in touch with your feminine power as a woman because of all the collective wounding associated with it.
  25. It's a tall order to fill because society is largely unaware of what femininity is. And it tends to also look down upon things associated with it, consciously or unconsciously. Although, it is getting better. So, it's a lot about breaking down those false notions about the feminine, and getting to know the feminine at a deeper level. The process is mostly subtractive and about finding your natural feminine energy, though you can certainly accentuate what's there. But it can help to see where your resistances and barriers are if you look at general traits within the feminine principle... Here is a list of the feminine principle traits in relation to their complementary masculine traits... Darkness (as opposed to light) Being (as opposed to doing) Intuition (as opposed to logic) Emotions (as opposed to thought) Sensitivity (as opposed to impenetrability) Receptivity (as opposed to communication) Earthliness (as opposed to idealism) Grounding and stability (as opposed to flight) Instincts (as opposed to civilized behaviors) Sensuality (as opposed to pensiveness) Birth and Death (as opposed to eternal life) The moon (as opposed to the sun) The present moment (as opposed to past and future) The arational (as opposed to the rational) The body (as opposed to the mind) Attunement to natural cycles (as opposed to controlling nature) Compassion (as opposed to respect) Wisdom (as opposed to knowledge) Nature (as opposed to society) Laterality (as opposed to hierarchy) Cooperation (as opposed to competition) Interdependence (as opposed to independence) Care for the Earth and all the creatures that crawl upon it (as opposed to prioritizing human survival above all) The ability to feel energy in people and plants as a means of path-finding (as opposed to being guided by set principles) Nurturing (as opposed to protecting) Mystery (as opposed to clarity) Eroticism - aka life-giving (as opposed to catalyzing life) Holistic thinking (as opposed to linear thinking) The ability to hold space for opposites (as opposed to choosing one side) Yes and (as opposed to either or) Non-resistance (as opposed to resistance) Softness (as opposed to hardness) Beauty (as opposed to utility) Our animal nature (as opposed to our God-nature) Creativity (as opposed to productivity) Regenerative chaos and destruction (as opposed to order) Honor for the material and physical world (as opposed to mind over matter) Intimacy (as opposed to detachment) Go through the list and see what triggers you or makes you feel a little smug. And you can find where your barriers may be.