WhiteCongrats

Hi I know it's all my choice but it's very hard for me to make this decision I'm 24, I've moved to London about 9 months ago. At the time of moving here I had my application to University approved. (I study business). So all this time till I started studying I kind of felt that my Life Purpose was figured out and felt rather happy and challenged about that. Yet as soon as I started studying(6 weeks ago) it turned out that it's not for me. I need to kick my ass to attend the classes, let alone learning and working towards passing my assessments. I feel like this course and learning style isn't for me. So I'm about to drop out but as you can tell every one encourages me to stay and study. But I've been thinking about that - I could stay and be successful but I can predict that I wouldn't end up fullfilled and happy. I know that many people I know see this as success and finishing this course would open many opportunites that otherwise in my home country wouldn't be so likely to happen - and I second that. But this success wouldn't go along with happiness I guess. So my dilemma is - should I carry on with the course? or drop out and find my Life Purpose which would really fullfill me? The biggest problem(and the reason why this topis even exists) is that I dont really know what my life puprose is. Honestly I'm not interested in anything right now. I'm a bit depressed about it and feel that I'm only interested in watching movies, playing games, meeting friends and generally slacking off. I used to create music and was really into it but I stopped cause I'm deaf on one ear and I thought I wouldn't even get by. What do you think? Thanks... Sorry if anything is unclear - english is my second language

Thank you all for your help, I'm definitely gonna use your tips. Will be interesting, never heard of them. Looking forward to getting more ideas. Thanks

Hello. I've been struggling with being wordy since I remember. I cannot break down topics even when I know much about it. I'm automatically and unconsciously starting to shorten my statement/story to such a degree that I don't even know how I could extend my statement and say more about it (as I said -even if I know more about a certain topic). I cured my shyness enough to not be embarrassed while chatting someone up. I can start a talk but I don't really know what to say. I feel dim. Some people always have something to say even if it's total nonsense. Have you got any tips? Would reading books help? Or what? Thanks, cheers.

Ok i will check it. But what i'd like to point out is that when this problem occurs(when im talking), im not thinking about my past and my failures. I think that it's kind of rooted in my brain and in my way of being.

Hi, I need any pieces of advice or something. When I'm talking to people(when I have to say anything long - story or something), I feel big pressure. It brings about that I'm starting to speak fastly and cannot build a sentence - I hate it. I feel pressure because I feel like people don't want to listen to me(it's the biggest reason) and I don't count, I'm not good enough of a person who deserves to be listened. I feel people's eyes staring at me as I'm speaking and I sometimes stutter. I've watched so many videos by Leo and figured out many 'problems' (stress, getting angry etc.) I know that it's a problem with self-esteem and I kind of know that I'm on the same level like everybody, but deep inside I feel like I'm worse. The reason of that all is because I was bullied psychologically in school from around 8 to 20 years old. So far I have done so much for my psychological health. I've tried to drop my beliefs, find out my childhood vows etc. and in most cases, it helped but in this case, I can't get over it. Something blocks me out. Do you have any ideas?;[

Sorry all for so long reply hope we will carry on. Thanks for your reply. im getting better by looking into myself very deeply. We will get there. Thanks. I will definitely check it out. Thanks For the most part of my life I was very, very negative about myself. I think that the initial cause of this was when my colleague started bullying me when I was around 10. I think he kind of hated me for no reason. His family also - his gradfather has once told me that I am useless slouch. And it then caused that already at that young age I started to doubt about myself etc. Later on, other people saw it and exploited it. Then it only was going worse and worse. And It continued to an age of around 20. At school, there always was someone doing it. Now I kind of still carry it around with myself. I think I get better everyday but im still looking for a ultimate solution.

The pressure is mostly both physical and psychical. Then, I'm starting to feel warm on my face etc. It also happens when someone WANTS me to say a story or something and I know that he is gonna listen to me and not interrupt me. I think that it also comes from times when I used to speak very unconfidently, quietly and people tended to interrupt me or completely change the topic. Now I'm afraid that It will come back again. It's like...I start to speak and I have this deep need to end as fast as possible and then I make different mistakes. I'm not very shy, I can chat up people without being stressed but then when it comes to say several sentences, you know what happens. That's so stupid. I feel stuck. I havent tried affirmations yet. What do you reccomend? Thanks for all replies.