John Iverson

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Everything posted by John Iverson

  1. So, this last 2 weeks of my meditation my mind starts to say something that ohhh! You should loosen up your jaw ohh don't move the jaw because your meditation will be mess up I don't know should i let my jaw or movements move in certain ways? And for example i have a mucus on my throat it is triggering that my voice inside of me will say you don't have to mooove if you moove your meditation will be in a wrong track.....
  2. I'm more aware of my emotions but i let it pass ... it is so frustrating for me if i do the meditation if when I meditating my monky mind will say that i need to meditate in a right ways... so I'm distracted to it... my mind say that i must let my tensions loosen up and i do it but i'm confused also is that right thing?
  3. Everytime, in the evening i want to sleep but my mind is in the being state I couldn't fall a sleep it is active, on the other hand if i get fall a sleep i will wake up after an hour and i am aware of my thoughts and feelings and i get wake up easily because if certain sound will pop out it will get me awake... what can i do here? I don't know what's happening...
  4. This time i am confused if i will pursue it but it is destruction to me ... but in the contrary if i pursue this thing all self actualization thing or enlightenment or finding truth.. it will get me in trouble maybe? Because i dont know who i am the trouble is that if I don't pursue college i dont know what will i do in my life I don't know where should get the money to keep on moving in my finding truths and enlightenment because i am in the situation that my parents is the one providing me some stuffs and they said if i graduated i will have the means to create money... im in bacation right now and i dont know if i will get intouch in the external world or to pursue isolation to myself... because right now in addition to that i'm working my self but if i get in college again maybe i will be destructed again and cling to that reality...
  5. August is our school year starts and im confused if i will chat my friends about enrolment and when exactly in august class will start
  6. The moment i enter meditation and practice the being aware and beingness and everything in the enlightenment I can't sleep i am always aware... it is not something that is i could say lalalalla and sit I don't know the problem is the awareness is the reason i get very sensitive i cant sleep and my awareness is very very active
  7. So, this past months i'm in to pursuing my meditation practice and pursuing the awakening process to be enlighten and to discover my true nature.. and last night, my family and our family friend gathered for a celebration.. and there is one girl that gives me the rush in side of me.. when i close my eyes to meditate there is her face popping out maybe i'm inlove with her... but I don't know if that is the egoic mind or it is something that i will give in? Should i talk to her? Because I don't want to be destruct my inner peace.. haha but suddenly she came ...
  8. What is the trick if i eat 4 bananas?
  9. I got aware of it and all i can say is.. i'm in love ❤️ But i'm in doubt .. maybe she is a destruction or just an illusory of the mind
  10. The feeling is not about sex, hmmm? The feeling is like this.. my heart beats beats so fast, the rush is like that.. i wanna spend time with her , know her, even in my thoughts if she pops out it gives my heart e beat.. but this feeling is new to me and i don't know the cnnection of this to my being.. I don't want to conclude things without connection to the nature...
  11. Why is that for 3 consecutive days i wake up in 2 am?? Is it in my meditation ?? I want to sleep smoothly no interruptions that i will wake up i dont know why...
  12. Aside from shiviring i noticed that i am waking up nit the usual it is 2am huhh I don't know what's happening.. I meditating by sitting do nothing technique, and after a while i do that with open eyes and my break, i will be aware , practicing it just 3 consecutive days.. because i don't have anything to do because we have a semestral break
  13. Is it i'm on the right track to say that I'm like a mirror that everything i sense is a reflection? And there is nothing just a hollow?
  14. To conquer everything is not easy.. that if you want to pursue it tomorrow is the day... uhm? It is a long process.. so first, settle down your issues... one by one you can't able to heal all your issues.. it is something you should look forword to.. one by one okay? You can do it.. in every issues there is a tool to work for it... if the case is all issues are settled down.. then pursue enlightenment.. just sit and meditate... there are mny techniques that will suites you... if you're hurt just love yourself don't push yourself it is not the nature it is the monkey mind, listen to your body always... you can do it.. !!! I believe in youuu
  15. I meditated now it is 4th time i meditated for today and i'm shakinggggggg why is that? Is it normal? My hands is shaking , my face , more on upper part of my body is shaking...
  16. Meditation is enough , silence will talk to you.. just take time... enlightenment is just simple but it is hard to stay in place and to become one in nature is alot of work to do... you will meet certain point that is is very painful... HAHA.. SO good luck!! You can give up anytime.. it is easy to follow the crowd than to pursue enlightenment and be one of the nature! HAHA SO yeaa! Namaste ?
  17. I will, hm? I don't have something i am addicting to.. before i am needy but I conquered it already I don't have temptations , i just sit entire day and meditate if my body wants a break then i will rest.. 3 days i do it 6 am i will meditate until 9 am.. my break time is practicing being i will go outside and look at the sky and feel the air.. but today it gets too painful..
  18. Neurosis is the first one you must able to conquer .. drop everything you have then you will ready for a fight to your enlightenments journey... if you have a threat then you are not yet ready... it is up to you.. me.. i will see if i will pursue my study or no... i will see what will happen to my journey after 2months... maybe i will get something here that will able to pursue my whole journey...
  19. I don't know what's this but Prabhaker has a explaination to this... this is the 11th day but this is the 3rd day I'm meditating all day long until i go to sleep.. it is very painful to do this and until evening i try to meditate my body is so hurt inside.. may arms hands and face and legs until foot.. it is painful.. I'm like leaf now.. i cant stand still it made me jelly
  20. Haha we have semestral break, for 2 months i have nothing to do.. so this is my 11th day , hm? This is the 3rd day? Maybe? After i woke up i meditate until such time that i will sleep in evening... i wait till my feelings to sleep kicks in.. haha I don't have nothing to do i drop everything... I don't feel like going outside and mingling people , i just sit and grasping the reality sensed it all day long but ofcourse if my body wants to stop i stop.. but now my body is shaking... i'm bursting my body wants to do something that worth the energy do but I don't know i'm blank... I don't know yet my nature, nature of capable of doing something .. i practiced leo's be at the moment... being , and breathing ... i combined it together..
  21. I know, there is alot of things that i must know and understand but the smell, the taste, the nature it self is very overwhelming.. that you don't want to sleeep..now? I don't know what I am capable of do the things in my nature it is painful that I don't know it yet i know the nature is not yet ripe but it is so painful i'm bursting I don't know what would i doooooo it is painful after meditating I don't know what will i do it is painful
  22. The universe is here, the reality is here, before i woke up... there is no sleep state it is always awake, exist and there is no end nor beginning it always here.. there is no time, before I am sleeping now i woke up for this... i will never be sleep I don't know if I'm enlightened but i knew it... i grasped it... i tasted it, i smelled it, i touched it and i let it flow... i will never be sleep.. I don't want to .. i'm bursting inside... and i will let this until my form die...
  23. What is contemplation?? How to contemplate??
  24. Now I understand what Leo is trying to say in his topic... it will not help one another if you keep on do things such this... for the newbies it will absorb it and he/she falls in to that... he will not grow... because he / she gives in to this creation of monkey mind.... be aware on this one..