John Iverson

Do nothing technique is the one I'm using, that is why what is happening to me while i'm meditating is contradicting... my body moves in a weird manner.. ?

Trial and error is not safe... dealing that problem... i hope there is a professional here... not just say do this do that... wtf.. the case of your boyfriend is serious.. so only serious people who also seriously study that matters can also help you...

It is dangerous that we will advice you some actions but in reality in that matter we are not skilled or professionals... i'm a psychology student.. and i took counseling... we have a law that you cannot say an advice.. or say a solution from you or you are the one who will conduct specific actions that me myself it is not my specialty,. So how can we help you? Right? Go to a professionals... because it is PTSD, that is serious... what if we are saying cause a lot more problem? It leads to trouble now ...

He wants to change... but yes he needs help.. he know he is hurting you... he see you are hurting.. but he can't help his self... another option is go to a psychologist... professionals like that can help your boyfriend..

Read the book of Eckhart tolle the power of now... there is a chapter that you and your boyfriend can help each other.. for that matter..

Now i'm freaking out because I can't do the 50 minutes meditation , it feels like it backslide my growth... tsk!

This is my problem... if I'm meditating my mind thinking about sex and my penis eventually go produce a semen Da Hell!! ? I'm scared

DON't Fap to your room while you are in the retreat HAHAAHAH

I'm moving,. Where is meditation there ? Sometime my eyes will open without my control what the fck!! Imagine you are meditating.. and your eyes will open HAHAHAHAHA!! is like i sit and my body walk? What the fuck!! What is happening... !! Yes it is true i'm meditating and my eyes opened... my vains is also flexing,... in one sitting all of my body become tension... is it okay to loose myself while meditating? Or should i tolerate this? And tolerate 15 minutes a day meditation.. I can't grow.. with this wtf 15 minutes??? Really!!!

For now this is my own qoute between hard and easy, always choose the hardest because in times of hard times, it is easy to choose the easiest..

In a way?? That? What? What makes enlightenment counter intuitive?

C'mon!! This makes me hungry!! HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA!! There's a twist!

Hmmm?? ?

i will read Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza.. i will

I want to have some magic that is in reality that mind fuck the whole common people... but how? Let's say yes i'm free to think what i become.. but let's take example the flash.. what can i do to become something magical like that... is meditation enought? Open all your chakra enough... it has a infinite posibilites and chances and opportunities, but howw to unleash something don't exist today

If i believe that the flash is true, then can i be also be the flash? The faster man alive and as i run i'm faster than light and i have electricity within my body while i'm running? ... because if that is easy to have that reality.. why someone cannot achieve that?

What is this mean?

Yes haha it always destructs you for what it is HAHAHA

Is that okay? To destruct myself to tinder ? I feel to communicate to girls after 30 days of more,.. I can't help my feelings , my body is moving, and I can't control , body knows how to destruct myself having use that to speak to girls online..

I don't know what exactly name i want because i have lack on words.. but if ever " a boy lack of intelligence before become infinitely intelligent now" HAAHA

When urges comes in , the only thing i do is go to tinder , i want the real one, and i become unconscious and that's it i watched porn and i jack off .. ?????? wtf!! It is hard! Very hard!

I just relapse

Every afternoon i walk in the field, and i wonder what evey bird say, what wind wants to accomplish when it touches my skin, the trees what they want to communicate to me... the clouds that when I'm a kid i also wonder why clouds passing through the sky, why they didn't want to stop there forever... you now understand that thankyou.. i'm touched with your learning through life and experiences You come too far ;D in your journey

he is speaking through mind not based on experience.