andyjohnsonman

https://brightvibes.com/1291/en/mindfulness-and-meditation-to-become-part-of-the-curriculum-in-370-schools-in-england?fbclid=IwAR1yhPFhAwIHL_lJkqfzO8VK_Wiz0rF3-wo2vdSwfjW8xMZ30_rXpgrAcp8

I think that I am going through a transitional change in my life. I think I am improving and clearing out all the negativity from my life. I am trying to figure out what the fuck the world is all about. I am trying to understand a lot of what is talked about in actualised.org. My world view is heavily influenced by what Leo talks about. He could easily manipulate me as I listen to him and take his words as truth a lot more than other sources. This is how cults work they give you some growth and help you out with something then throw in a sneaky metaphysics. I think that generally people are good, but have selfish tendencies based on survival and ego. I think that people have a tendency to believe something and want to hold this belief as truth. I think I am above this and can think through the problems and see from other perspectives. I think that because I meditate occasionally it gives me some superpower and I dont fall into human traps as easily. I obviously do and can’t get over biological survival programming which was evident when I was terrified on a plane when it was having turbulence. I am trying to figure out whether reality is physical or a giant mind. I think that I am a work in progress. I think that love is more than just sexual desire, there is pure love that can be given to anyone and its just a matter of being in the present moment and free from the ego mind. I think there’s more to life than survival but I still can’t figure out what isn’t survival. I have noticed how peaceful it is when the thoughts stop and I can just be in my body. I know how important good friendships are and family connections. I think health is very important and having a curious mind is something that can take you far in life. I admire people who have massive levels of enthusiasm and really want to be able to have this passion and level of energy on a daily basis but find it hard. I really enjoy sport, new experiences, new connections, good conversation, being playful, feeling like ive known someone my whole life when we just met, being a developed person and seeing the rewards this gives. I really wanna get good at loads of stuff. I feel I’ve wasted so much time in my youth pissing around and now wanna get involved with more stuff. I see myself as a good person, as funny, as reasonably clever, as fit, but not handsome even tho I think thats not massively important. I can get frustrated with my terrible concentration levels, laziness, procrastination. Chemicals in my body really control me. I noticed when im on drugs how much I crave those positive chemicals and avoid those negative ones. When I feel bad in my body I really let it affect me. I love my brother so much more than I could ever love anyone else. He’s perfect and even as a little brother he is someone I look upto. I see life as a journey, as experiences, as growing opportunities. I dont see life as something that should be run by your career. I value independence, free time, alone time, but also being with great people. Im at a period in my life where I feel I should make a decision for family and career if thats what I want. I love children and feel I would make a great dad. I feel to do that though I have to get all my shit sorted like career, finances and would have to sacrifice a lot and still dont know if its worth it however at the same time, time is passing and quickly. I define great people as people who have a similar worldview to mine and similar interests. I’m scared of my parents dying and things moving on. I want things to remain. I feel time is moving too quickly, every year just passes by and we get older and closer to death. I dont know what happens when you die. Leo talks about there being nowhere else to go you are always here. This is a big reason I am into spirituality. I want to know everything will be ok when you die. I dont want to burn in hell for eternity or for that to be it. Maybe all of this is feeding a confirmation bias as I feel better knowing that the Self will live forever. I just want to be happy but didn’t realise how complex happiness is. Theres just so much to it and it seems to be very counter intuitive. When I started reading books I thought because its a scholar you can believe it, but many scholars have conflicting viewpoints. I am very interested in psychology and feel it has become part of my identity. I’m at a stage where I think most things can be solved with kris, psychedelics, journaling and contemplation. How do I know this is the case as I haven’t had all my problems solved. How can I even be sure I have improved from these and not just matured as I get older. How can I know I have made any improvements at all? I love different cultures learning new languages exploring and adventure. I can’t get over my need to sleep so much but have just realised this is a limiting belief.

My favourite Coldplay song.... Just bloody beautiful.

i would be interested in a politics sub forum. It's nice to discuss politics from a higher consciousness perspective as it's hard to find that in the media.

how do you integrate psychedelic trips? Journal and contemplate and question what happened and what it all meant?

Yuaval Harari just did a talk on it this week in Hungary. Very stage yellow understanding of nationality. I strongly advise it....

I am trying to explore facets of my consciousness, experiment with myself to try to understand the world and reality at a deeper level. I have been told many things mainly by actualised that I want to verify and see if they are true. I want to know if there is such a thing as enlightenment, I want to become enlightened, I want to see if I can feel more in my body, more connected to reality, free of the monkey mind, can I master my emotions, can I understand more about myself, can I improve my levels of concentration, can I become more loving to myself and others, are there existential truths that I dont know about or something thats missing in my understanding, is all of this even a thing or is it just heresay? I need to investigate by doing these activities to know. I feel like there have been times in my meditation, yoga and psychedelic trips where I have felt a strong sense of love for everything, I want to investigate this further, is there more to life than just survival? I want to be able to let go of a lot of ego separations, there are times when I believe things about the world or about myself and others that are thoughts based on past experiences, how can I know they are correct for what is happening right now, I judge and criticise others and am still attached to a lot of things, I identify with things, and I really think if you want to have a good life you should try to be the best person you should be, a lot of spiritual texts talk about happiness coming from these activities I want to know if they are correct, I try to persuade others to do these practices without knowing if they are the answers or keys, i want to know more about being, I want to see if being and knowing merge. I don’t want to have a run of the mill life where I just work, eat, sleep, and buy things. I believe there is more and I have seen it on drugs like MDMA, mushrooms, weed that happiness is internal. I am however worried about being alone in this world if finding out everyone else is illusory and its all me, I’m really attached to my family and I want them to be real. I also at times feel im at the point where I am more conscious of the thoughts that they are just thoughts and find it annoying that I have these thoughts and want to be more conscious. Its almost like if I was just identified with these thoughts and didn’t know any better I would be more satisfied as I would just accept this as reality. I want to keep doing these exercises to see where they take me. I have been told they can take you to a very deep place. I feel in the last couple of years I have been too on and off with the practices. I think kris yoga is more powerful and better suited to me that Vipassana. I want to keep doing this every night but can struggle to motivate myself to do it for 45 mins a day but know when I’m doing it it’s worth it. My psychedelic of choice at the moment is mushrooms. I feel it’s an absolutely amazing psychedelic. I want t explore it further and take heavier doses. My biggest dose so far has been 2 grams dried. It has been profound each of the 3 times I have done it. I have had nothing but positivity from this but am aware I must respect it as I can see the potential of it turning negative at any second. At the end of the day I am aware that if you feel more loving of yourself you feel more loving of others. I dont want to be only loving of my small tribe. I want to be loving of all. Sadghuru talks about how there is no need for morality if you already know everything is you. Why would you want to do anything bad to anything or anyone if it is you. Would you want to cut off your own fingers? I want to experience this and I feel based on research and experience that these practices are the way to go about this.

the first book i read on meditation and still probably the best

In the most recent video Leo talked about how every life you raise your consciousness until you eventually merge with the absolute and reach nirvana and then will get bored of that, split from it and start again. If we are use the consciousness is like sand analogy, where reality is an infinite beach and we are all individual sand castles on a beach not aware we are all the sand on the beach, how can I be sure that my next life I will start from the sand castle that has just collapsed. In other words if I am doing all this consciousness work to reincarnate and have higher levels of consciousness and more chance of reaching nirvana in the next life, how can I be certain I will get the consciousness of the work I did not someone else? Or am I looking at this from the wrong paradigm as I am the whole beach so I am raising the consciousness of each grain of sand for the next rebirth? PS I dont want to take reincarnation on as a dogma so I’m still questioning it.

Yea man i completely agree I'm sure you can learn a lot from them if watched mindfully.

Did anyone take notes on all the questions Leo asked in his most recent video? I would like them

Ok I typed them out if anyone is interested : The power of asking quality questions What do I really want? What is most important for me in life What is the purpose of my life What is the highest vision for myself What is the next level of my life purpose How do I be more creative How do I be a visionary How do I keep myself from backsliding Why do I backslide What new product could change the world What does the world need now What motivates me What excites me What would I do if I had no fear or limitation How am I dishonest with myself What am I abiding in my life What ideological positions or beliefs do I cling to What am I unwilling to let go of in life Why can’t I surrender Why is my mind active all the time Why do I have emotions whats the purpose of them Why are ppl selfish Why does religion exist Why so many kinds of religion Why so much disagreement about enlightenment Where is humanity heading in the future What is my role in that Why do I judge criticise complain How am I failing to take responsibility for my life What does it mean to be more conscious What are some examples of ______ GOD, CONSCIOUSNESS How is my worldview holding me back What is my worldview Why do I love ______? What is it about the book that you really love - tells you what you value in life What is the next stage of evolution for my career What do I believe I need to have to be happy Why do I meditate if not clear to yourself then won’t stick Why do I want this relationship What is the most powerful question I could ask What important questions are not being asked How do I become successful What makes people so effective or so great at something How am I unique How am I not being true to my uniqueness How do I become a better ______? What am I like when im at my best? What am I like when im at my worst? In what ways am I a devil? How are ___ and ____ the same and how are they different? What are some new ways I could live my life Why am I resisting _____ Why am I afraid of ______ What would be my greatest job What would I regret most on my deathbed How am I being inauthentic and why What am I most proud of in my life and how can I do more of that What robs me of energy and passion How can I use my mind in better ways Why are there so may deluded ppl? How can I make sure I dont end up like them What is the lesson here ___ in situations What are the top 5 ideas from this book after finishing reading the book What causes me stress What is stress What do I admire about that person if you can articulate it if you admire that quality how can I be more ____ like this person What lessons could I learn from that person could be a negative person that you hate What would a permanent fix for _____ be? What is the root of this problem? What opportunities am I overlooking If I could get the answer to any question what question would I ask When am I at my most creative What would be a more authentic way of doing _____ how does this look from another persons point of view What top 3 things would transform my life if I did them Why does ____ trigger me How can I be more aligned with god? Why am I struggling with ____? Where can I find the answers for ___? How am I being selfish? How do I make my psychedelic experiences stick in everyday life? What is holding mankind back? What is the big picture for ____? What are the most common traps with _____? If this thing fails what will be the most likely causes? What am I really good at? Whats a new way of seeing this problem? How is my thinking limited about this Who could give me good advice on this? What if my core assumptions are wrong about___ What are my assumptions about ___? How can I change my assumptions about ___? What could I accomplish if I had more confidence How am I being reactive or defensive What am I trying to say here How am I creating this problem How can I make this task more enjoyable How am I being close minded What are the most powerful self help techniques How can I become financially independent What should be the next stage of my life

Because i think these questions are very good and a lot of them i would like to contemplate deeper. If someone has already typed the list out (which usually happens in the youtube comments section) then I can go through them. I am aware I am being lazy but why invent the wheel if someone has already typed them out rather than watching the whole episode again and typing them all out. I feel it is possible to be generally interested in improving myself and have people give me notes. I don't see this as black and white.

I started with an hour of kriya yoga, this really enhanced my yoga. I was a lot more in my body. The last 5 minutes of concentration the geometric patterns were more intense and felt similar to when I experienced a K Hole on Ketamine of just passing through this worm hole. After this I lied down and listened to relaxing music. I asked it about my recent sex issue (that I posted on this blog) It didn’t answer me directly. It showed me situations where I define myself with my muscles. It made it clear that I dont have to be defined by anything including my sexuality. It reminded me of situations where I felt complete love and that was the defining feature. Love is synonymous with the present moment. Everything I asked were just questions that the present moment couldn’t answer. It answered by just showing me more consciousness that things just are (like a blob falling over) and its the most beautiful thing that could ever be. I have anger but I suppress it. This may mean I have a anger shadow side. Especially towards my balding head it all just came out for a few minutes. I released so much anger in 2 minutes so much tension that was built up in my gut my back it just all came out. I had a few moments of being so grateful for finding actualised.org, for being a teacher and teaching 2 year old children because they are so perfect and beautiful. I was worried about taking mushrooms on the 25th floor of may apartment. What if I jump out of the window. It showed me the building collapsing and things moving on past this including me. I felt the healing go really deep as my head felt like it was being crushed - it felt like I was under the knife and I could wake up for a second and see my body but then go back to the dream world where I was with entities sewing me up (I’m aware these are metaphorical for the energy being released from my body. I was the energy of the present moment. But I tried to manipulate it I tried to bring it back down to my small perspective but it wouldn’t come down. It wanted me to raise up to its. I could go back to any moment in my history and select a time open it up like a record player and play it. I went back to when I was on a work experience job with my uncle at 15. I felt so much love and gratitude for him giving me this experience. I realised at this point that everything is me. I tried to manipulate this to become my mum, dad and brother because these are the people I love the most, I couldn’t. The thoughts came as they wanted I couldn’t control them. I tried to ask questions based on Leos recent duality videos mainly what is the difference between ego and non ego. It was evident that the present moment was all encompassing including the ego.

I realised all this spiritual work i'm doing is just for my ego. I'm just wanting to be a better person but within that there is separation between me and other. I want to be better than others which is just more ego. The ego is incredibly sneaky and it always wants to be in control. Last night I had a balloon with nitrous oxide and after inhaling the whole thing got a 20 second ego death. It really freaked me out and makes me think whether or not nothingness is synonymous with love as my ego was terrified when regaining control and the nothingness just seemed scary. However I have had much better experiences on mushrooms. Maybe i should just stay away from nitrous oxide.

thats a really nice comment thanks

I just watched his podcast with Russell Brand. Did Leo come up with the term "mental masturbation" as Joe used it in his most recent podcast. So i'm sure he watches Leo. The podcast was very similar to Leo's material.

Does anyone else see geometric patterns in the last 5 minutes of concentration? Mine are very visual and send me into a trance where they become the centre of the meditation.

If you could only choose one thing for living a happy and fulfilled life what would it be and why?

nice comments. I think if i could only choose one it would be balance as there are many faces to living the good life (health, being present, letting go, healthy relationships, life purpose etc) and being able to balance all of these is extremely important.

Can anyone recommend good websites for researching psychedelics I want to try lsd but have yet to do any research on it. Thanks a bunch.

Thanks. Where can i get a weighing scale for measuring Micrograms? I looked on Amazon it seems they all measure Milograms. Not sure how to accurately measure the amount of LSD i will consume.

So I’ve heard enlightenment been talked about like you are a character in a game. Mario thinks his world is material and not made out of pixels just like we don’t think it’s made out of consciousness. Mario believes he is separate from all other characters in the game (Luigi, Princess Peach, Bowser) but they are actually all part of a game which is One CD or cartridge. Our ego’s think we are separate but if we are all just infinite consciousness we too aren’t separate. However in Mario’s point of view he doesn’t know he is part of a game and therefore is separate. He doesn’t know his body is pixels, has no free will, his friends are separate from him or that his mind is an illusion. He only knows what has been programmed into him like we have through social conditioning and concepts and therefore he is separate. Surely this is the same for us right?

I feel like there are 2 conflicting ideas in spirituality. 1 is to be mindful of thoughts and the other is to let go of thoughts. When I become aware of my thoughts they usually go away immediately and therefore haven't been let go of, where as with letting go I stay with the thought and go as deep as I can into the thought until emotions have been let go of. When i practice Vipassana, as soon as i'm aware of thinking i go back to the breath and feel like this could be similar to suppressing the thought as I don't go into the thought to release the negative energy behind it. Which is more effective? Or are these 2 of the same things?