bobbyward

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Everything posted by bobbyward

  1. Mind Attacks After Initial Seeing

    bobbyward replied to Ayla's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    @All_Around_Me what exactly is this seeing you had? describe it !!!
  2. it arrvies by itself because there is no you to seek or become awake, even though it seems like there is. if seeking happens its just the shape experience takes, if awakening happens its just the shape experience takes.
  3. what do you mean when you say you are nothing an nothing exists? there can be no doubt that the current experience exists !! and you are it, all of it, so the theory goes.
  4. hes my favorite teacher
  5. for me the no free will experience is there is a witnessing of everything happening with nobody doing it, similar to being mindful but more obvious. sensations are free floating not belonging to anyone, when i speak its just happening in mid air with nothing behind it. to have a no free will experience you need to see through the illusion of self (separate entity that controls thoughts and the body), and the way to see through it is to look for it.
  6. its not about accepting it, accepting it would be a believe, then you are just replacing one believe with another. you need to look in your experience for the one who has free will, eventually you will have an awakening and see there is no separate controller and you wont need to beleive it, it will be self evident.
  7. have you read spiritual enlightenment the damndest thing, and if so how would it compare to the books above. il probly read it next.
  8. very good book, worth reading. @Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj how is "Pursuing Consciousness" and how does it differ to the book of not knowing
  9. I would imagine I thinks its a body becuase of genetics and conditioning. In the theory of enlightenment, there are no objects, just self aware experience
  10. it helps to realise that there is really no one seeking and no seeking. what you call you seeking is just experience as you seeking, you seeking is just the shape experience takes. you cant wake up, if waking up happens its just the shape experience takes. in your inquiry you need to look for whats true, the problem is the ego often wants answers to comfort it.
  11. this is going along the lines of there is no unknown experience, or no unexperienced experience. no unsmelled smell or unheard sound etc. you know everything there is to know, cos unknown knowing cant exist. apparently this is the biggest illusion to see through towards enlightenment so im told.

  12. Mind Attacks After Initial Seeing

    bobbyward replied to Ayla's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    had an initial seeing 3 months ago. i have made alot of progress the last month, i have been looking at and contemplating my experience intensely. lately it seems like thought, labels, language are just pointless, they dont point to anything in reality and have no real meaning. i have had some slight fear, anxiety, depression when i have seen clearly there is nobody here, nothing that intense.
  13. Anybody know of any direct pointing books or resources? im already aware of gateless gatecrashers, liberation unleashed, the book of undoing and awaken now.
  14. when i read or look at new stuff, or old stuff asked in a different way, it seems to bring more progress than going over old stuff
  15. it has worked, and is helping at the moment. most effective method iv tried.
  16. so experience is self aware so im told, can someone explain how this is the case, i cant quite wrap my head around it.
  17. so theres no understanding it intellectually, its just the way it is. thats probably why my thoughts have issue with it. i was reading some guy using an analogy of a dream, saying in a dream the dream person isnt real and the dream objects arent real, so there is no subject and object, and the only thing that is real is the dream experience, and the dream experience is aware of itself.
  18. the ones i find good are, am i aware? where am i? when am i? whos aware of a blank state?
  19. my understanding of self inquiry from doing research is there is an initial investigation stage, were you look and contemplate what you could be, then you come to something thats not a concept, a non conceptual sense of being (i am), and the goal then is to rest attention in the i am as long as possible as often as possible. is this what self inquiry is ??
  20. resting as awareness is the goal of self inquiry, fear, anxiety doubt is usually a sign of progress. resting in awareness temporarily gets rid of the mind, maybe the mind is trying to save itself, its hard to tell. stay resting as awareness and the doubts will go away eventually.
  21. @TruthSeeker fundamentally i would say thoughts and conditioning. you are probably going to ask me who is the one suffering?? lol i have asked this thousands of times but decades of conditioning doesnt go away so easy.
  22. TM is easy to learn, a few hours of research and you will be clear on how to do it. it is very good for bringing increased peace and quieting the mind. its not a particularly good practice for enlightenment though.
  23. for me i want out of suffering, fear, shame and guilt. if i hadnt got this intense suffering i dont think i would have the interest or motivation for this seeking. i think suffering is the fuel that fires the search in most cases.
  24. I agree with what you are saying what leo seems to be advocating is more of a looking with awareness process rather than abiding in the I am. I would describe the '' i am '' as a non conceptual sense of being. and the purpose of asking the questions '' who am i '' or whatever is to temporarily get rid of the mind and abide in this non conceptual sense of being. in fact if you can just go to this non conceptual sense of being without the questions, then there is no need to ask the questions, but most people cant do that. the idea is to take attention away from objects ( thoughts, the body and the world) and rest it in its source awareness. ramaji describes it as a '' no thought state, its a state of deep relaxation '', ramana maharshi also said '' you dont need to get rid of anything except for thoughts ''. I have done tons of research on this and this abiding in the I AM state is what most mean by self inquiry. this is a good video on it
  25. there are some people who dont have thoughts like 95 per cent of the time, as a result of long term meditation