Commodent

@Shadowraix "Politeness is the practical application of good manners or etiquette." Adhering to rules is a blue quality. It's important to distinguish between politeness and empathy (which is more of a green quality).

I would like to recommend "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by Janina Fisher. It is packed with cutting-edge research and it proposes that it is not necessary to investigate and remember trauma in complete detail in order to heal, as this form of re-experiencing can actually serve to re-traumatize the person. It is better to kindly acknowledge what happened to you in a sort of "detached" way and do your best to stay grounded in the present through for example mindfulness. Kinda feeling what happened and then staying present and grounded at the same time. It's been a while since I read it, but the book goes into more detail if you'd like to know more.

Self-therapy can be just as effective, like inner child work.

@OrpheusNovum He's right though.

If you feel like sleeping 10 hrs then sleep 10 hrs. Getting enough sleep is incredibly important.

You don't have to stay with your if you don't like to. Families are very much like mini-cults, so it can indeed be hard to break out of. But you have no obligations to stay in the system. From what you write I think it would be wise to break contact, if you can manage. Your father seems to drag you down. Acceptance and forgiveness is not a virtue. They are feelings that might spontaneously arise once you've worked through your feelings of anger and hurt. Until then, do not force it. Blame them for what they did all you want, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's your psyche, so you're free to feel whatever you want. But act responsibly, particularly around children and other people on the lower end of a power dynamic. You might see intellectually how your parents became that way, but your feelings of blame are still there and should be given a voice if you want to heal fully. They are very valid emotions, because you were not treated fairly.

@Joseph Maynor That's common among trauma survivors.

Online chess can be very addicting, it's so easy to start a new blitz game and it's very easy to get preoccupied with your rating. As a general guideline I would restrict addictive behavior (which includes all non-productive online activity) only to times where you're together with other people.

Leo still seems severely disconnected from his emotional being like many others in here, and I think that's his main issue. He seems to downright disrespect certain emotions. He also seems to have (unacknowledged) contempt towards his audience and people in general. Funny thing is, many of the "breakthrough" revelations he has had about himself has been glaringly obvious to many of us for quite some time. But I have never actually seen him taking any of the feedback into consideration. Good thing he's starting to become more conscious, but it really shouldn't take dozens of 5-MeO-DMT trips to realize he's inauthentic. I suspect if he'd actually looked in to his past (as the key to understanding your emotions lies in the past) and done some emotional work instead of spiritual bypassing he wouldn't even need psychedelics to see it.

@Truth Addict What are you trying to say, exactly? "I might have murdered this person, but I shouldn't be guilty because I was destined to do that". Is that a valid reasoning in your point of view? It just seems so out of touch.

Yes, that is very likely where it stems from. There is nothing wrong with you, you had a very valid need that was never met and to this day you are suffering the consequences. I will suggest you to grieve the loss of rarely (if ever) being validated, and whenever you feel this need for validation I will suggest you to remind you of your personal history. Doing so makes the feeling less "immediate" and you're able to see it from a more detached viewpoint. Given your history this need for "showing off" makes perfectly sense. It's the mark of a great tragedy, and not something to be ashamed of. I assume you are also to this day are trying figure out what is wrong with you and to fix it. That is another horrible idea that was inflicted on you as a child. Your mother sounds very emotionally neglective, borderline abusive, just like my mother were.

Did you receive little validation from your parents as a kid? It's a need all kids have, and if they don't have it fulfilled at home they will seek it externally. It will then carry on into adult life because the trauma will never be resolved by external validation.

@Rustymachine True, in my opinion guilt is often a call for action. If it's to awkward to bring it up and apologize, just be extra kind to the person next time you meet him, maybe even blatantly so. So that he understands that you have no ill intentions

Yes, it is indeed a good technique, as long as it is done the way you described. Too many people use the idea of "letting go" as a technique of forcefully fighting against their emotions and getting rid of them, like their anxiety or whatever other problem they might have, but that is just suppression. Feeling angry? "Oh, just let go, there's no reason to be angry and yada yada yada you shouldn't be angry." That type of stuff. The correct way to do it, like you describe, I would describe as an openness to all experience, including the most painful emotions like depression. Which is pretty much the same as "doing nothing". With this attitude there isn't really any need for a "letting go" technique because there is nothing you want to get rid of, if that makes sense, so it would be pretty much useless to anyone who want to manipulate their experience. Because why would you? That's at least how I experience it.

"The Tao of Fully Feeling" by Pete Walker is definitely helpful when it comes to the inner work. A lot of self-help books out there are indeed quite superficial and do not deal with root causes. Honestly I find most self help books quite stressful to read and overall detrimental to my mental health as they tend to fuel my inner critic, so I generally avoid them. But the book I mentioned is truly a breath of fresh air in those regards. I've personally also found taking my dog for long walks to be incredibly helpful to my mental health. I've also ditched my smart phone and excessive Internet use lately, which has been quite blissful. Note that the keyword here is solitude, i.e. time spent without input from other minds. Solitude is incredibly important for emotional regulation, among other things. It kinda helps you pull yourself away from the anxieties of daily life, if that makes sense. If you want to learn more about that I can recommend the book "Digital Minimalism" by Cal Newport. I would also recommend joining a community of some sort. I personally love BJJ and climbing, and find great satisfaction from it in addition to it being a very good exercise. The people I've met in those sports are such great people too, they're all very friendly and open for conversation. Be kind with yourself, and focus on meaningful things you actually enjoy. There might not be many such things in your case like with me, but I'm sure there's something. Signed, 21 year old Norwegian dude

Yellow is the tier 2 version of beige (survive in a world of information), turquoise is the tier 2 version of purple (mysticism), so then coral will probably be the tier 2 version of red. That's at least what it says in the Spiral Dynamics book.

@CreamCat You need to understand that capitalists are inherently manipulative, seeking to manipulate their environment to their own benefit and not necessarily to the benefit of the whole population. That's just the way it is. I never said it was evil, so now you're just projecting. To them UBI is just another way to dismantle the welfare state. UBI added on a strong welfare state is beneficial, however when it's used to replace the welfare state it's just disasterous.

@CreamCat You might ask yourself why capitalists like Andrew Yang love the idea of UBI. This article might offer some perspective: https://renegadeinc.com/universal-basic-income-capitulation-capitalism/ In countries with a strong social safety net there is generally not any immediate need for UBI. But American capitalists don't want strong social safety nets. They want their capitalism to run wild without intervention, so that they can remain in power. No, Bernie Sanders is what America needs, not Andrew Yang and his capitalist pipe dream. He even suggests cutting down on welfare programs, which is telling enough.

Meditation can quickly become a source of neurosis too. "Am I doing it correctly? Am I doing it enough? etc etc" I would say only meditate if you actually enjoy the experience itself. My top list of advice would be: Get of the Internet, ditch the smartphone or at least severely restrict its use. Spend more time in solitude, time without input from other minds that is. Lack of solitude is a huge source of anxiety. Discover hobbies, I personally enjoy BJJ and climbing which is a great way of meeting other people, which brings me to my 4th point. Spend more time with real-life interactions. Be kind to yourself, ALWAYS. Speak to yourself like you would to a small child or loved one. Without exception.

I generally avoid toxic people, and if I can't avoid their physical presence then I will avoid engaging with them. Don't force yourself to compassionate towards them. They don't deserve it, and even if they do it doesn't matter. Compassion is a gift. So be compassionate if you'd like, but it is no must. If you're angry at them, be angry. But not necessarily at them. Write in a diary, punch a pillow, give your emotions a voice. And they will dissipate when time is ready. But they don't have to, and that's perfectly fine. Because your emotions are precious and a source of vitality, and they belong to you and nobody else. So I will ask, if these people inflict you so much turbulence within you, do you really have to interact with them?

AI will definitely be able to create art to the point where nobody is able to distinguish whether it was created by a human or an AI. However, I still think people will prefer human made art for no other reason than it is actually created by a human.

@CreamCat There is so high demand to join military service that if you don't want to join you're not getting in. I have good grades, good physique, no allergies etc. However, I answered "maybe" on the form if I wanted to join and I didn't get in. My cousin never even showed up and they never called for him again. Trust me, the "conscription" you call it is not really conscription, it's more of a formality. And by the way, the Norwegian justice system doesn't use jury and attending high school is completely optional. Also, people without jobs are guaranteed income to support basic living. My cousin has been without a job and living on government support for years. It does however have one flaw insofar that people lose the support once they get a job, which in some extreme cases leads to a decrease in income once they get a job, thus removing the incentive to get a job. So UBI will probably be our next stepping stone in order to deal with that. At the current moment I think there will be far to much resistance in the US to give UBI to everybody. You haven't even gotten Medicare for all up and running yet due to so much resistance (which is a light task compared to UBI). UBI is probably the best solution yes, but the general population needs a transition in values for the resistance to come down and it actually being a viable solution. Yang might get elected, but all his proposals is gonna be shot down just like Obamacare did with Obama, and you're gonna be stuck with nothing because you wanted too much too fast. You might want it, but your country is not ready yet.

@CreamCat I'm just saying the US has a serious inequality issue that needs to be fixed, i.e. you need more equality. I'm not advocating absolute equality. Thought that was quite obvious. Not difficult to descend to the bottom? Where do you get that from?

@CreamCat Then you have a very skewed view of equality, my friend. Of course, I don't mean we are all equal in the most literal sense, Norway does of course have rich people. However, you have to work a lot harder to earn significantly above the mean in Norway than you would for example in the US. For example, the average software developer only earns 37.8% more than the average store clerk, and richer people are also significantly more taxed.

@lmfao I've already seen that. His suggestions are not anywhere near enough to handle the economic inequality, and probably not enough to cover UBI. @CreamCat UBI is a step in right direction, but right now the inequality problem is long overdue. The way I see it, either vastly more taxes will be implemented as part of UBI, thus also handling the inequality problem, or UBI is not gonna work. You seem to speak merely of how UBI is gonna affect your life, but I am not interested in that but rather how it's gonna affect the society as a whole. Please, do tell me more about how it is in Norway. I have always wondered. @Aeris So you want me to define what "working their ass off" would be in your case? Only you can do that, buddy.. I can just say that I would generally define it as working more than 37,5 hours a week