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@studentofthegame Psychomotor physiotherapy was invented by a couple of Norwegians and is mostly just practiced in Scandinavia, so it doesn't surprise me that you haven't heard of it. It seems to be a quite holistic approach to therapy that recognizes the interconnectedness of mind and body. I would recommend you to look into Internal Family Systems (IFS). It goes well along with inner child work, and is very useful as a form of self-therapy. "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by Janina Fisher, which is packed with cutting-edge research, is heavily based on IFS. I think you can very well resolve attachment trauma by mantaining a positive relationship with yourself, where IFS could come in handy. Thank you. The only problem is that I've been reading so much litterature in English I actually feel more comfortable writing in English rather than my mother tongue, which is Norwegian. So if I decide to start writing it will probably be more geared towards the international market. I'm 21. 15 years, not bad. Although it has been half-arsed you must have quite a good foundation. And yeah, you should definitely look into Complex PTSD. It is quite different from "traditional" PTSD insofar that it recognizes the the many consequenses of prolonged trauma. The guy who wrote one of the books I mentioned, Pete Walker, actually has a lot of resources on C-PTSD. You could check his website for a quick overview.

What does your job involve doing? Software development, accounting?

@studentofthegame That sounds very similar to the work I have been doing. I have however never been to therapy other than a couple of sessions in low-treshold public mental health care, but I would like to try out psychomotor physiotherapy some day when I can afford it, and maybe EMDR. It's definitely a lifetime's work, but yeah I think it can be a good idea to ease back a little sometimes in order to digest things and preventing it from being all-consuming. Balance is indeed important. The fact that you have done inner child work does not surprise me by the way. You seem very sincere. Yeah, change should definitely be implemented incrementally. If you try to do everything at once the ego backlash will simply be to strong to resist and you'll be back where you started. Challenging your fears is a great way to grow, particularly if it's preventing you from doing things you would enjoy. Just remember to do it in manageable amounts (which you already seem to be doing ). The resources you mentioned seems interesting. In my opinion, in order to attain a truly fulfilling life you have to become rather proficient at handling fear. It is not found on some carved path, but you create it yourself. What you want to be doing is not necessarily on society's agenda and in that case they won't encourage you and it definitely won't be risk-free. But it's truly amazing what you are capable of once you have fully set your intention. Just look at Elon Musk, or Gandhi. But it requires work and persistence, and with intention and enough time you will, through reflection and learning, figure out what to do. So I definitely think you are right in challenging your fears. It's a rare quality that's incredibly rewarding. Thank you for the nice compliments. I am currently studying Computer Science, and while I enjoy software development I don't think I would find it fulfilling in the long run. It's more of a backup-plan. I certainly enjoy reflecting and talking about these things, but I don't think I would enjoy treating actual people lol. Maybe I could study neurosciece and do some research there, but that seems a bit too specialized as there are so many different diciplines I find interesting. Maybe I could become a writer of some sort? I am also learning to play guitar at the moment, and drawing. So maybe I could become an artist? Doing something creative definitely sounds nice. As you can see, I have lots of ideas, but haven't arrived at any conclusions yet. I'm planning on just experimenting with different things and see where it goes. I guess I'll figure it out.

@studentofthegame Glad to hear that. The time I decided to get into self-development was probably when I was about 16-17, and it was followed by a couple of years of obsessing over the social anxiety and always trying to challenge it. Which, as previously stated, did not work very well. I also read a lot of spiritual books by Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts etc. I learned a lot intellectually, but emotionally there was no development. It was indeed rather regressive, as I learned mindsets and techniques for shutting down my emotions. Denying my very self and everything thereunder. Then I started reading into trauma recovery. Most people would not define what I experienced as "trauma" (in fact, most people's conception of trauma is extremely narrow. We all have trauma to some extent). After a while I got a good grasp of where my social anxiety, inner critic etc. stems from. They were, to put it briefly, feelings and mental habits rooted in unconscious memories stemming from my childhood. When I fully realized that what I was trying to solve about myself were really just that, memories, I stopped trying to fix myself and instead focused on treating myself kindly (inner child work) and staying grounded in the present. That was really the tipping point, that allowed me to lean back and enjoy life. Processing your past is a very comprehensive topic, so if you would like to know more I can recommend "The Tao of Fully Feeling" by Pete Walker and/or the videos of former therapist Daniel Mackler on YT (in which this video sums up his philosophy pretty well). The development after that has been mostly due to the wish of living a more intentional and wholesome life (whereas previously it was to fix myself). I didn't feel like mindless technology use contributed with anything meaningful to my life, so I decided to cut it out. I'm eating variations of Leo's vegetable soup because it feels fresh and is good to both me and the environment. I've become aware of the importance of sleep, so I never sacrifice on it. Right now I'm also experimenting with the Wim Hof method in order to feel more in touch with my body. In general, I like learning, and I like applying that knowledge. I just finished reading "Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker, and it's super interesting. So I don't feel like the self-development will ever end. Having said that, social anxiety is not a problem to me anymore. It's been so long since I thought about it that it's almost like I have forgotten it. It really doesn't occur to me to get anxious around people anymore, at least not to disproportionate degrees. Plentiful solitude has probably helped with that also. One interesting thing about neuroplasticity, is that it happens regardless whether you're experiencing something physically or in your mind. E.g. someone repeatedly playing a sequence on a piano and someone visualizing it will experience the exact same brain changes. So you can quite litteraly think yourself into mental illness by overfocusing on it. The same goes for "forgetting" it. I'm still somewhat avoidant, but it's more of a choice because I notice how much more well-balanced I feel when listening to those emotional signals. However I know that I could push through if I'd like, so I don't really feel trapped by it. This became a rather long post, so kudos if you could bear through

@studentofthegame Sounds like a good plan. You are certainly not the only one prone to mindless phone use, indeed most people are. Personally I ditched my smartphone and bought a $20 dumbphone. I still use my smartphone for Spotify, Audible and Podcast Go, but I made my own Android launcher so that I only have access to those three apps. And I never bring it outdoors.

@andyjohnsonman He did not.

Relationships are definitely important. However, I'd rather be alone than spend time with unhealthy people.

@studentofthegame Yes, without structure work-time and free-time can very easily blend over each other, causing you to never really able to relax because you're always feeling like you should be doing something productive. With structure you become much more focused in whatever you're doing, whether it be relaxing or working. When you move in with a partner I think you should aim for high-quality solitude, like walking in the woods with no distractions. Most people I know who live alone don't really spend any time in solitude even though they're technically alone. At home they're sitting on their computer or phone, when they're out they're still on their phones and/or wearing headphones. Whereas previously we were forced to spend some time in solitude, nowadays we have the technology to shut it entirely out. But it has dire consequenses. After the iPhone came out mental health disorders, especially anxiety disorders, have shot through the roof. Solitude deprivation is seriously harmful to any individual, whether it be extrovert or introvert. If you're interested in learning more I can recommend the book "Digital Minimalism" by Cal Newport. It also offers a very structured approach to dealing with tech addiction Yes, having a dog is quite amazing for the reasons you mentioned. You always have a friend by your side, it forces you to get off your arse several times a day, you get to enjoy exercise and fresh air in the beautiful outdoors, you meet great people who also have dogs, and you get time for yourself to reflect. Definitely recommended to anyone who would like to increase their life quality by several notches, but only if you're up for the responsibility of course.

@studentofthegame Yes, I am certainly not a very spontaneous person, and all my life I've had somewhat avoidant tendencies. There was a time in my life where I would always push myself to attend every social event and never give in to anxiety. That did not go so well. It was terribly stressful, and when I actually ended up attending these events I was tense, couldn't think clearly, and wasn't really able to enjoy it. And I would frequently beat myself up for not being able to enjoy it. Now my life is rather boring and predictable, and I love it. I wake up, walk my dog, eat breakfast, go to lecture, study, walk my dog, make dinner, relax, walk my dog, go to sleep. You get the gist. But the funny thing is, the few times where I actually attend something unplanned I am much more able to enjoy it, because I feel so much more relaxed and grounded. I think a key component to why my life feels so much more enjoyable is solitude. That is, time without input from other minds, whether it be on the Internet or IRL. Solitude is so, so underrated. I feel like I need several hours a day to function optimally. The only problem is that I'm not really meeting a lot of girls, as I'm not really going out drinking anymore, but maybe I'll join a yoga class or something. It is a balancing act as you say. Listen to your gut instincts and spend some time on reflection, and I'm sure you will figure out what to do.

@Girzo Hahaha sorry

@Hellspeed Might have something to do with the fact that he's 10+ years younger. But yeah, some people tend to look sickly almost once they start losing weight. A woman I know was fat all the way up to her 50's and when she lost all the weight she looked like she was in her 30's almost. Makes me think that there is something fat people are doing right, like enjoying life maybe.

That's just terrible to your mental health.

For courses that involve learning a lot of material: Use an Excel spreadsheet (Google Sheets also works) to write down questions from the material in the curriculum. Write the answer next to each question, but change the font color to white so you can only see it by clicking on it or changing font color. Go through all the questions, and change cell color to red, yellow or green depending on how well you feel you answered the question. Rinse and repeat. Schedule study times, for example 9 to 13 and 17 to 21. I am personally more productive in the evening, so I tend to schedule for that. This one is obvious, but go somewhere where you can stay focused, like a study hall. Do not sacrifice sleep, it's incredibly important for digesting what you've learnt. Also take a siesta in the early afternoon if you'd like. It's a natural part of our circadian rythm and has a series of health benefits, while it will also make you ready for a new session.

@studentofthegame Yeah. Our brains are quite plastic ("moldable" that is), and are thus able to adapt to new situations and ways of living. However, as we get older our brains become less and less plastic, and thus we become less and less adaptable. Of course, our brains will always be somewhat plastic, but it will nevertheless be much harder for a 60 year old to learn a new language compared to a 20 year old. The same goes for life in general. It can be done, but it definitely becomes harder to adapt as you get older. The anxiety you're experiencing could very likely be due to the fact that you feel less able to handle new situations. If you were to challenge your routines, I would recommend you to do it gradually and never to the point where the anxiety gets overwhelming. Funny thing is, sufficient sleep enhances neuroplasticity and thus your ability to adapt to new situations, so maintain that habit for sure!

Self-actualization might make you realize that things you previously deemed important is really not that important at all. When I was younger I pretty much considered good grades and wealth the highest achievement in life, so I naturally worked my ass off to get good grades. But as I got older I realized there was more to life, like social interaction and life experiences. So grades and money felt kinda pointless in comparison, and it was much harder to motivate myself to do schoolwork. Because it wasn't really the most important thing. Right now I'm studying Computer Science, and while I like fiddling with computers it doesn't really feel fulfilling at all. I can foresee myself going through a career change pretty soon. I don't really know what yet, but I'm pondering it pretty often. I am trying a lot of different things at the moment, learning guitar, painting, writing a book, about to start a blog. I know I want to do something creative, at least. So yeah, self-actualization might have some unforeseen consequenses. I think it stems from some inner yearning for a better life, which is why I don't consider it a bad thing. Even though it can be quite inconvenient before or during the transition.

I think what you're experiencing is simply a natural consequense of getting older. When you are young you are to a much larger extent capable of ignoring your body's signals and do unhealthy things, like not getting enough sleep, without much consequense. I have also noticed that older people become much less adaptable and tend to be more dependent on structure and routine in order to function normally. If sufficient sleep and good routines helps you stay well-balanced, then that's maybe a sign you should keep doing it?

More developed countries tend to be more irreligious, take Sweden for example. So I can foresee religions going away, much like belief in spirits and black magic largely went away with religion.

Tell yourself you will be there a quarter before the appointment and schedule thereafter? A 15 min buffer is always nice anyway.

Read "The Tao of Fully Feeling" by Pete Walker. A lack of self-acceptance is usually caused by shame associated to past experiences.

@bejapuskas I think it's moreso a lack of awareness rather than honesty. You have done some things your whole life so you become blind to them. Just like a fish in water that doesn't know what water is. So these things would be hard to see no matter how honest you intend to be with yourself. You can painstakingly try to get a good picture of how you behave, unintentionally fooling yourself a lot in the process, or you could get input from others in order to drastically speed up the process. Both methods work, but the latter is a hundredfold more efficient. Our habitual patterns, some of them even causing a lot of harm, are usually invisible to us and glaringly obvious to others.

@Metody I think that's overly reductionistic. You could just as well say that every action is selfless.

ISTP I've found that on these kind of tests people answer more in accordance on how they would like to act, rather than how they actually act. So I would say if you've typed yourself without input from other people, the results are pretty useless.

ITT: People who have only read the title

Meditate with back support, either in a chair or lying down. Meditating in a sensory deprivation tank could also be a good idea. A friend of mine struggled with back problems until he started doing tai chi. It's also a form of meditation, so I would definitely recommend that in your case.

To stage yellow money and social acceptance is simply a matter of course, just like physical survival is to anyone who is above stage beige. Life conditions is an important driving factor for going up (or down) the spiral.