Commodent

Internal Family Systems

I've learned lots from it, but it's just too addicting for me.

If he triggers you it seems like it would be wise to get some space, regardless of whether he acts abusively towards you to this day. Do you enjoy his presence? If not, you have no obligation to keep in contact with him. You could give him a heads-up beforehand, so that he has some idea of what's going on and won't try to contact you needlessly. It's not a fun decision to make, but you should do what feels right to you. It sounds to me like you would also enjoy the works of Pete Walker.

In general, I feel like I can relate to them even more than I used to. Of course, I am in many ways very different. But still, I see different parts in them that I'm aware also exists within me, and that is very endearing to see.

The desire to create.

Trading is just gambling. There is no way to predict short-term swings. Investing however could very well be profitable, if you do enough research and think for yourself (instead of just blindly following the masses).

Do you have a video on this? Concrete, practical tips for re-structuring your life in a way that fascilitates social interaction? I feel like I'm good with girls once I actually meet them, but that is so rare. And do you drink alcohol when you're going out? I've found that alcohol consumption severely hinders my ability to recharge my batteries in the weekends, so I generally avoid it. I also feel like those going out are mostly just talking with their own circle of friends, and if you decide to strike up a conversation with a stranger you're a weirdo. I've been going out several times with the local basketall team, and even they are really just talking with each other. Same goes for the American pros on the team. So I don't feel nightclubs and bars are a good place to meet new people.

@ajasatya Ok, cool. Thanks.

Hello, I am currently attending a Computer Science course which is an integrated master’s (5 years). I am now reaching the end of the second year. I have always enjoyed programming and the endless opportunities it offers. I was about 13 when I decided to attend this course, and I worked hard for years in order to get in. But I feel like my interests have shifted. I no longer want to stare at a screen “solving puzzles”, ultimately ending up in a career making products I don’t care about for corporations I don’t care about either. I want to do something truly meaningful, like helping people becoming whole, or doing something really creative. Like making music, art or maybe writing a novel. I also want to spend more time connecting deeply with others, and I want to be more in nature. But most of all, I feel like I have so much to share that could be helpful to so many people, and it almost feels selfish keeping it to myself. Because it has helped me so much. I have spent so much of my life reflecting, researching and most importantly, applying that knowledge to myself in order to heal my inner wounds. I feel like I have come so far in this work that the time has come to extend this gift to other people. I feel it very strongly now. I still enjoy programming and by following this career path I’m almost guaranteed a well-paying job, but that is not really where my heart is at. So, I am wondering, what now? I want to dedicate my time fully to creative pursuits and helping others, but still, I need to make a living somehow. And I’m not sure how I would go about doing that. I want to do lots of different things; make art, make music, write a novel and write self-help. And thus, I also feel like I need some time to discover exactly where I'm going to place my focus. I have enough money in my bank account to live comfortably for two years (maybe three) without any income, so maybe I should just take a year off to learn and try different things, and see what works out? Or maybe I should just half-ass my way through the remaining three years of the Computer Science course while pursuing my passions in the spare time? That’s the safest option, at least. I have also considered switching to “Industrial Economics and Technology Management”, which is an engineering course that combines both IT and business. I’m less interested in economics/business than IT, but I figure that it might be useful in making a living out of what I want to do. And if that idea weren't going to work out, I’d still have the most sought-after education in my country. Long story short, I am very aware of the direction I want to go, but I don’t have any concrete plan. Just ideas. So, I wondered if you could offer any advice? Given my current situation, how could I go about actualizing my vision? Are there any realistic ways? Thank you

@exhale Thank you. You have lots of good ideas, but the thing is that I very much want to help people work through serious emotional problems (which, to be fair, we all have), rather than helping people land their next job etc. I apologize for not making that clear enough. I have found that I on multiple occasions have been able to help those who have been to several psychologists and have been deemed "treatment resistant", maybe because I was such a case myself. Just yesterday several people on another forum wanted to know who I was and assumed I must be a therapist when I gave my advice to someone struggling with self-loathing. So I definitely feel like I have something valuable to offer in this realm, although I don't have the credentials. I have thought of combining therapy and CS, but as stated I'm not really interested in "mere" coaching. I want to go much deeper than that. So, how does one go about helping people heal their deepest inner wounds, while at the same time applying my CS knowledge? That just sounds extremely, extremely niche to me, and I'm yet to find a path combining those two. @ajasatya I'm glad to hear that. I'm going to learn lots about AI over the next three years and I'm very excited about that, although I have heard it's pretty dense material. The potential for AI is just astounding. Do you feel like you get to innovate and come up with new solutions? I just wondered since I have heard lots of AI work just involves using models someone else have made and pruning datasets. But I guess that depends on the job. @studentofthegame Yes, I think I will finish the remaining 3 years. I honestly didn't expect to get into the AI specialization because my grades are kinda mediocre, but I got in. So now I'm a lot more excited about the CS course because I get to learn about stuff I find super fascinating. So yeah, I definitely feel like I'm getting pulled in both directions now. On the one hand AI is very fascinating, while on the other hand I feel like I could be able to help people in a much deeper and more meaningful way if I were to go the author / therapist route. With the latter I feel like I could actually offer something truly valuable to the world.

There's also another thing I don't like about him. From his webpage: "Andrew proposes funding UBI by consolidating some welfare programs and implementing a Value-Added Tax (VAT) of 10%" Notice how "consolidating" is just a nicer word for "dismantling". He wants to replace the welfare state with UBI, so that capitalism can continue to run wild.

@studentofthegame Hey mate You are partly what inspired me to seriously consider this route, so firstly I'd like to say thank you for that. Yes, luckily time is on my side. I think I'll start with writing, as that is more immediately accessible. If I were to do therapy of some sorts I feel like I would need at least a degree in psychology or something for credentials. Ah, I remember you mentioned him. I have added "Shape shifter" to my reading list, thank you.

@Pilgrim It's basically a programmable blockchain, in contrast to Bitcoin which is just a store of value. Lots of projects are being built on top of Ethereum and the developer community is very active overall. That's a good principle in general; follow the developers, they are creating the solutions of tomorrow. The Ethereum Entereprise Alliance has over 250 members; Microsoft, Intel, Santander, J.P. Morgan to name a few (see full list here). Here's also a list of some use cases. Having said that, never invest more than you can afford to lose, that is rule number one. While I do strongly believe in Ethereum, the technology is still in its infancy so a better technology could potentially come and overthrow it. If you do invest, let it stay there for several years and sell when you feel the technology has reached its full potential. And don't worry too much about price fluctuations. I have experienced the value of my holdings shrinking with several thousand dollars in a single day, but I'm in it for the long game so it doesn't really affect me. If you're too attached to your money you'll get scared and sell at exactly the wrong moments. Crypto is super volatile, so you gotta keep your cool and stay committed to your long term goal (unless the hype is way, way over the top, that could be a good time to sell some). It has definitely helped on my risk-aversion, that's for sure. This subreddit is also a good resource for information (don't let the banner scare you away lol).

Thanks for the replies. It's been a hectic week with exams and such so I haven't had the time to reply until now. @Wyatt Thank you. I have thought that helping other people in one-on-one therapy sessions would be a good fit for me. However, in order to get licensed I would have to enter a 6 year study programme, which is a problem. I generally don't subscribe to what they teach in the clinical psychology courses and I think it's just a huge waste of time. I can live for at least 2 years without income yes. If I were to do so I would just need a good plan first, so that I don't end up spending all that time and money for nothing. I have never been a big spender, and I strive for minimalism both in my environment and in my actions. So I don't have any lofty goals. I feel like the ideal thing would be to create something that generates a passive income, so that I can spend my time doing the things I want without the pressure of having to earn money. I am thinking of maybe writing a book, I think that would be really fun. I'm thinking of spending this summer writing lots of short stories in order to brush up my writing skills. @ajasatya Yeah, there's a good chance I'll just do it alongside of the CS course. I think AI is very exciting and I've chosen that as a specialization for the remaining three years. You work with AI, no? What is it like working with that? @Kubia Thank you for the useful advice, it helps a lot. I loved Cal Newport's book "Digital Minimalism", and I'm going to read his book "So Good They Can't Ignore You" which someone else in here recommended.

When investing I follow these principles: Find a project that you truly believe in, and invest in that for long term (several years). Do some research. Where is there being done lots of development? Understand the sentiment. Is the hype excessive? Sell. Deficient? Buy. This served me well during the crypto bubble. While I really do believe that Ethereum has great potential in the long term, the hype in 2017/18 was just way excessive so I sold off around its peak. I had planned to not sell no matter what, but the excessive hype was just so, so obvious. And guess what, it popped. And now people are feeling defeated so I'm buying in again, because I believe in the project.

I have noticed that when we hold back our emotions and do not allow them to participate in the movement of life, we tend to feel stuck. It leads to rigidity, in both our bodies and our lives. Holding back and suppressing our impulses is the antithesis of authenticity and spontaneity.

@ivankiss Stuck? How so? You think forgiveness would fix that?

- Pete Walker, M.A. http://pete-walker.com/forgiveness.htm

I don't think gaining muscles only for the sake of gaining muscles is very helpful. I was into it for a couple of years, and I noticed I did a lot of things that did not feel good to my body. Overeating being one of them. There is also something very soul-deadening about just standing in front of the mirror and doing the same reps over and over. Working out in order to have fun and get more in tune with you body, now that's another story. Now I practice BJJ and calisthenics, and it's enjoyable on every level.

@Mikael89 The title is just clickbait. He read 72 books in one year.

Moreso Green to Yellow. I do actually think he is quite solidly Yellow. Man's a spiral wizard. How else do you think he would be able to gather such an enormous fanbase, ranging among all stages? Blue, Orange, Green, they all seem to like him. Kinda like Joe Rogan.

I have never experienced repetitive thoughts that were positive in nature, so I would generally say yes, repetitive thoughts are unhealthy. It stalls growth.

Cal Newport's book is pretty good. One important thing he mentions is to go for long walks, and cultivate new interests instead of spending that time on the internet. Because if you're not spending your time with something else you're probably gonna find ways to procrastinate on the internet anyways. And you'll hate your life at the same time. That said, besides going for walks and cultivating new interests, what helped me the most was probably cutting out the smartphone and getting a dumbphone. Also, Cold Turkey is pretty useful for blocking internet access. You also have the Forest app which a friend of mine really like, but I haven't tried it as I don't have a smartphone. The book makes a good point for solitude, making it clear how a lack of it severely messes up your brain. And no, sitting alone on the internet does not count as solitude, because you're still getting input from other minds.

@Pouya The subconscious mind is intangible and incredibly, incredibly vast. I guess you could call it that, but I feel like the subconscious operates on a very different level than the thoughts and feelings you're typically aware of. You can sense it is there, you can sense its power, but you can't really distinguish its content because there's so much going on at the same time. In that respect it is very different from the conscious mind.

Of course, with mindfulness and meditation subconscious mechanisms can very much be brought to light and seen through direct experience. Just know that it does not speak in words. You can also see the effects of your subconscious every day, for example when you struggle with your guitar picking one day and you wake up the next day finding that it has suddenly become a lot easier. That's the subconscious mind in action.