Commodent

I just wanted to share with you a model that has helped me A LOT over the last year; Internal Family Systems. It has helped me develop an understanding of why I am the way I am, and it has been absolutely essential for developing compassion and understanding for myself and others. Using this model I have been able connect with my true Self much more efficiently, and it has in many ways enabled be to become my own "therapist", so to speak. Since first discovering this model over a year ago, my inner dynamic has completely shifted. The model is becoming more and more widespread within clinical psychology, but it also goes well along with any spiritual practice (as outlined below). You can read about the model on this website if you're interested in learning about it. I would definitely recommend reading it all, but here are some quotes:

@studentofthegame Yes, every night at the end of my journaling session I talk with my inner child. It might sounds a bit weird, but I always feel more emotionally connected after each session. Most importantly, this model is always in the back of my mind when going on with daily life. Whenever some part of me flare up in me I'm never tempted to fight against it like I would before, but rather respect it and cooperate with it. It has been, and still is, an invaluable tool for resolving inner conflict. How is your healing process going?

Do Nothing meditation. I've been doing it every day (approx. 3 hours) for the past year while walking my dog, and my growth and sense of well-being has been absolutely incredible. It's the perfect way to calm a neurotic mind, and it's also very enjoyable.

Take a look at Gabor Maté. He is a doctor who has suffered with ADD himself and has a lot of valuable info to offer on the subject. He also has a book named Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder, which adresses the condition specifically.

You definitely have extroverts that are wicked smart. It's just that their smartness is more centered around other people, while with introverts it's more centered around the self.

@Inliytened1 Yes, it's risky business. But it's very fun when you actually talk about these things and there happen to be people with similar interests. That's often the start of a great friendship.

Forced forgiveness doesn't work. It's fake and inauthentic. Forgiveness is not an act, but a byproduct of healthy blame. Like any emotion, it might come and it might go. Point being, you don't have to forgive her. I would suggest you to talk with your mother about what happened. If she responds well and is willing to listen then that is definitely something to build on. Your relationship could be saved. If not, I'm afraid there is not much hope. Honesty and trust is a central theme in any healthy relationship. The dynamic that was between been you and your mother while growing up is likely going to be the dynamic you're going to have with other women. This is not your fault however, as it is the parent's responsibility to fascilitate a healthy dynamic and not the child's. You can make efforts to change this dynamic with other people by changing this dynamic in yourself that you have internalized. (You are treating yourself and others the same way your mother treated you). Check out the Internal Family Systems Model.

I've often found that if people are not able to relate to what I'm saying, it's because my words are not grounded in direct experience. I'm certain, if you told people exactly what you wrote right here most people would be able to see where you're coming from. Because it's real and honest. Sure, you might enjoy going philosophical, but in that realm you might have a harder time finding people who sympathize with your ideas.

You are projecting your own trauma onto others, that's what going on. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

Do you want to be social? That is the only thing that matters.

It's a paradox.

In short bursts I think it could be manageable. His whole company was at stake during that period so I can understand why he did it.

The question whether you have free will or not has absolutely no relevance to you living your life whatsoever. Don't use philosophical beliefs as an excuse to avoiding effort. Do you really want to waste away the only life you have? Of course, there are barriers, both internally and externally, but these are nothing you can't overcome. You're aiming to turn music production into a career, so my advice is to get started and stop waiting. No one will offer you the life that you want, you have to create it through sheer will and effort.

I would say get out of the house and surround yourself with people who actually respect you, but that might just be me.

Is this a problem to you?

If you didn't doubt you wouldn't grow. I think what you really want is to shrink the inner critic.

Invulnerability.

I think the most important thing is that the breath follows a smooth continuous motion with no holding of the breath. Breathe into both the stomach and the torso. You will notice that when your body is relaxed you naturally tend to do this. Closing the mouth and breathing through the nose mantains correct tongue posture, so in my view that's better.

I'm just feeling quite thoughtful this late evening and felt like putting this up there. I think it's inaccurate to say that negative thoughts cause negative feelings, or vice versa. The relationship between thoughts and feelings can in my view be better described as a complex interaction between the thinking and the feeling brain. I.e. they are separate, but interacting parts. For example, thinking bad things about yourself can make the feeling brain feel bad. (Note that the same thought can elicit different feelings depending on the time and place). Similarly, feeling bad can trigger a lot of neurotic thinking, if you have erroneous beliefs about what those feelings imply. Bottom line, the goal is not to eliminate certain emotions, but to attain a healthy synergy between the thinking and the feeling parts of the brain. That is, to resolve inner conflict. The thinking and the feeling parts of your brain can beat each other up, or they can cooperate. Your choice.

@Leo Gura Is seeking enlightenment survival?

@Aakash I don't understand what you're trying to say. Care to elaborate?

If you were predominantly Beige you would not be sitting on the Internet. You would be out on the streets scraping for food. Basic survival needs would be your main concern, not self-actualization. I know you follow TJ Reeves, so I can say that just because you're not "deathproof" at Beige does not mean it's your predominant value meme.

@RobertZ Yes, what you're describing is probably the interaction of some parts that are at odds with each other. Maybe it goes something like this: embarrassment -> "oh no, what is wrong about me?" -> obviously doesn't make one feel good -> further rumination The most evident parts are the right-brain and the left-brain, which are basically two separate brains tied together. (In some people the corpus callosum is quite underdeveloped, so the right-brain and left-brain barely communicates at all). But, you also have different neural networks within each brain hemisphere that function relatively independent of each other. This is also how we seem to perceive it in real life; "I wanted to do that, but at the same time another part of me ..." Now, very often (especially among traumatized people) different parts are at odds with each other, leading to inner conflict. I learned these things from "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" by Janina Fisher, a book that is packed with cutting edge research. It's primarily aimed at health professionals treating trauma disorders, but I think it could be helpful to anyone suffering from any degree of inner conflict. @Inliytened1 Maybe, from a metaphysical perspective.

No... bottled up emotions do. Inner conflict translates into the body. Negative emotions are inevitable and completely natural, so do not fear them. Let them flow through you.

Find new friends maybe? It's rather common to outgrow friends.