Commodent

Writing down my authentic experiences and feeling in my journal has done wonders in me getting in touch with myself. It was not very helpful when the journaling was just neurotic and full of self-criticism. @linxx This is a good one, but I'd like to recommend a variant: You write down the worldview you would like to have and then you read it every day in the morning. A practical tip for getting your ideal worlview down would be to go through recurring experiences in your life that are causing distress and then you visualize what kind of mindset you would like to have in this situation to handle it better. I think this is a bit easier, as it only requires some initial effort and then you can just read over it every day. It's a really powerful way of reframing your worldview.

http://www.kriyayogainfo.net/Eng_Downloads1.html A free book containing the most important techniques in order to get going with Kriya Yoga.

I love this.

A documentary on the importance of grounding, also called Earthing.

I'm from Norway, albeit not Oslo, and I have been struggling with a similar situation. It's hard to find people with similar interests, but they do exist. EmmaSofia is an organization advocading the legalization of psychedelics, and I'm sure you would find a lot of like-minded people there (if you have the slightest interest in psychedelics). They're based in Oslo and they have occasional gatherings. There's also different yoga and meditation groups. This one for example, they have weekly gatherings which are free. You could also expand your interests. Personally I think BJJ is quite fun and the people where I'm going are super nice. Even if you weren't to do that, you could always just own it. "Heck yeah, I'm into spirituality!" I know it's hard to do when coming from such a vulnerable place with little to no friends, but it's definitely something worth striving for in the long run. Unapologetically sharing your worldview. Know that your unique perspective is really one of your greatest assets, and it can be a source of great pride if you let it. Also, don't turn spirituality into an ideology. I think partly the reason why I had such a hard time talking with people about it was because I was so emotionally attached to the spritual ideas. That made it very hard to share, because the ideas were very likely to get rejected and it was so painful when it happened. They were ideology, and not rooted in direct experience. Which brings me to my second point; stick to direct experience. Whenever you speak from direct experience that makes what you're saying so much more relatable. I know it's scary, particularly if you feel there's something inherently flawed about yourself, but speaking your personal truth is so worth it. Not only is it appreaciated by most people, but it's also super enjoyable to just be yourself fully. That's really the most important thing. No form of peer approval comes close to the satisfaction of simply living your truth, and that is something no one can take from you. I wish you the best of luck. There's truly so much to be learned from this kind of situation, as it's such a great opportunity to connect with who you truly are. The path towards self-acceptance is a long path, and in my view it's best found in the woods. So disconnect from the Internet and take long walks in nature, and attend a local group whenever you feel the need for socialization. Og hvis du skulle ta turen til Trondheim er det bare å ta kontakt

Are you putting yourself in overwhelming situations? Overwhelm shuts down the prefrontal cortex.

You seem to use the presence of confusion as evidence of some inherent flaw. It's a very common way for shame to manifest itself, and it's rooted in deep-seated trauma. I can recommend "Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw. It's a self-perpetuating cycle, and the best way to get rid of those is generally to make it a non-issue. As in, don't care about the problem. It might, however, be necessary to heal the shame first in order to do that.

"resistance" is rather vague, but it could just be a learned reflex.

Are you dependent on your mother? My mother always used me as her emotional garbage bin, but I didn't realize how poorly she was treating me until I moved out and started reading about dysfunctional parenting and it's healthy counterpart. So whenever I came back for vacation I was very clear to point out any time she stepped over my boundaries, and whenever she responded with arguing, deflection, guilt tripping or whatever I made it very clear that me visiting her was completely optional and I could just leave at any time if she wasn't willing to respect my boundaries. And it worked like wonders. In the preceding two years, and to this day, she worked really hard to get her shit together and is now a completely different person from what she used to be. Our relationship is the best it has ever been, and I can now even feel beams of love cracking through the shield of my heart that has been so wounded. The best way to deal with dysfunctional people, is the ability to stand on your own. It requires great courage, but the ability to hold your own ground is such a precious thing in all facets of life.

Why not half-lotus? Much more comfortable and less straining on your knees.

@ajasatya If you're talking about the whole "brain is an antenna" idea, there's no reason to believe we won't be able to simulate a similar "antenna". A much more powerful one, even.

@ajasatya Try ramming a pole through your brain and see how well your creativity fares. The possibility that we might create something that is far greater and more conscious than us seems to disturb most people, but there is nothing really indicating that consciousness is only limited to humans and biological creatures.

@ajasatya I am very well aware of the current state of AI, but I'm not really talking about the current state. Do you deny the possibility that the simulation of a worm's brain can't be expanded to that of a human, and even far beyond?

It took me countless heated discussions and inner turmoil until I realized that this was something I didn't want to do ever again. It simply drains my energy for no good reason. Sure, discussions are fine, but not back and forth bickering. Argue all you want, but just know that this might not be the place most receptible for it. You would probably have better chances at Reddit.

You don't necessarily need that understanding, as you could just simulate the human brain. We have already simulated the brain of a roundworm. Of course, the human brain is a much bigger task, but don't underestimate the rate of technological progress. Better techniques leads to faster development. AIs are already painting pictures and writing symphonies. In the future, the music and entertainment of an AI will probably be far superior to what any human can make, outcompeting humans even in this field because the content produced is in fact so much more enjoyable.

"The Tao of Fully Feeling" by Pete Walker. Totally transformative.

@Beginner Mind I was into spiritual work before I started processings my feelings. So it was a rather paradoxical thing to understand why they are the way they are, and yet work through such intense feelings of blame and anger towards them. I'm glad you have been able to open your heart. Similarly as blame and anger can be resisted, so can love. The potential of victimhood is there whenever there's an uneven power dynamic. A child for example is inherently dependent on their parent's approval for surival, and is thus consciously or subconsciously forced to mold into being whatever their parents wants them to be. This runs very, very deep. So much so, that when one recovers from this kind of trauma one might become a completely different person. One must accept the influence others have on us, but at the same time not fall into the delusion of disempowerment. Victimhood is much more violent than simply being influenced by others. Victimhood is characterized by a lack of power, but as adults we all, at least most of us, have the power to change ourselves and our lives.

Love is important, but don't use love as an excuse for supressing hurt feelings. There is obviously a reason for why you shut down your heart, and those feelings need to be acknowledged (whether it be blame, anger, grief, whatever). It took me over 2 years to work through these emotions towards my parents and open my heart to them, and I wasn't even severely abused. Had I used excuses such as "they were treated that way themselves", "I should forgive" and "it wasn't that bad" to shut down those feelings of anger and blame this process probably never would have happened. In my view, the liberation to be whatever is the key. Had I been stuck in that prison of how I ought to be and feel, I never would have been able to love fully.

When we are kids we are mostly right-brain dominant. This means you can certainly feel like a kid again, but there will be an expanded layer of intellect that might be at odds with the feeling right brain. So the key to feeling like a kid again is really cultivating healthy relationship between the left brain and the right brain, so that they can coexist. A very common conception nowadays is that our feelings is a burden that has to be controlled. And similarly we feel a certain disrespect towards our thinking mind because we're seeing how much it's preventing us from living in the moment and enjoying life. Now this is a classical left brain / right brain split. Left brain sees the right brain as unreasonable and the right brain sees the left brain as harsh and cold. This creates profound inner tension, where neither the right brain nor the left brain can flourish freely due to constantly being at odds with each other. What you want is not 100% right-brain activity, but a healthy cooperation between the two hemispheres. The best way I have found to strengthen this kind of communication in a healthy way is inner child work. The left brain KNOWS how to act lovingly and caringly towards others. You just need to apply it towards your feeling self. So here's how I do it: In my journal, I start by adressing a situation that has been causing me distress. I then listen deeply and wait for a feeling response (the more you do this the clearer the feelings will become). When you've got a sense of what you're feeling, put it into words and write it down. Adress this response in a loving and validating, yet problem-solving way. Rinse repeat. I can offer an example from a recent dialogue I had which was particularly fruitful. It was over a situation with my landlord who also happens to be a friend of mine: After this session I felt like all the built up anger and resenment towards my landlord completely evaporated. It's truly amazing how well this works at resolving inner conflict. @studentofthegame I figured this example might be of interest to you.

Because without it the human system would collapse? It wouldn't be a self-sustaining system. Leo goes quite deep into this in his video about systems thinking, if you haven't seen it already. Or maybe it was the ego backlash video, I don't remember.

@Hsinav Good to hear. ? I will definitely be considering buying the course. I am currently studying computer science but I haven't yet figured out how that fits into the life that I want to live. I'm tired of sitting in front of computer screens and I just want to get out there and live, you know? I got a very strong gut feeling yesterday that I should just take a year and travel the world, working on small farms in exchange for food and shelter through Workaway. That sort of self-sufficient, minimalistic lifestyle really appeals to me, and I would like to learn more about it. It's just a really poor timing to get such a gut feeling though, as it's only a week until the semester starts and I feel like I need some more time to prepare. I'm glad you have managed to integrate the field you're already in into your LP, I figure that makes things easier.

Was there anything in particular you did to narrow down your LP? There is so much things I want to do and, all of them seeming like a worthy life purpose, but I'm not sure exactly what I want to dedicate my life to. You think the LP course would help with that?

Shpongle

This really is my point though. As of now digital communication is nowhere near of being the new "natural", as it's only activating a small fragment of our brain in contrast to real-life interaction. We must find ways to attain a healthy symbiosis between the digital and the physical realm, where our innate humanity is not rejected and exploited but cultivated. Right now most of the money is being poured into making people as addicted as possible, and quite effectively so.

@Leo Gura When I say "the natural way of doing things" I mean the ways which we have evolved to live through hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. We are essentially living in ways that we were not designed to live, and it's leading to all sorts of problems. From a book I recently read, "What Doesn't Kill Us" by Scott Carney: Now that's what I mean by the natural way. This DNA imprinting not only applies to physiology, but also the kind of social interaction I'm talking about that is universal to all cultures and has been for millennia. No tribe; you're dead. And that's where our brain not perceiving digital communication as social interaction comes in. It leads to hidden stress. Will digital communication ever be able to fool our unconscious minds? Maybe. Until then, I'm gonna stick to my dumb phone. It has been one big stepping stone for me in living an intentional life, a life that is not polluted by an army of psychologists at Facebook. I am enthustiastically following the technological advances going on, and I am in fact studying AI. So I'm not anti-technology per se. I'm just advocating that we don't lose touch with our humanity, and that of others. Because our humanity truly is a marvelous thing, which unfortunately is so commonly disrespected and neglected in this day and age. We have lost our respect for nature, and the nature that we are.