LeMale

@How to be wise exactly man. There is always tension in my muscles and nerves. Hard to describe its in the background all the time even if i feel "enlightend" or whatever and even if i dont indentify with this feeling. I will give the book a try, ty. @Nahm Dude i dont want to eat just because im hungry, when i dont have the right setting to eat something good

Okey ty for ur recommendations, yes i mean meditation is great and i will do it a daily habit, and i did for a short period. Its just as u said i think there is something in my subc. Even if i do meditate and im aware that all what i think i am is just a construct created by me and an illusion and even that illusion is an illusion and so on... Still i think i have to work with my subconsciousness, because im a human and we are bond to our minds and our limits and our needyness to belong to society.

Hey, im from Germany and ive been watching self actulization videos for about 3-4 years. Improved the way im thinking alot. But i have this continious anxiety which is always there in the background. Ive tried meditation and it helped reaally alot, but i couldnt make it a habit. Did meditate 2 weeks or so and i had the disapearing of duality experience, the connectiveness and that i am creating my world, i could really feel the things. If im not meditating or not continiously working to push out of my comfort zone its so hard not to have anxiety. Why ? other people dont work on them self and they are just fine... i feel like the missing part is love in my life, like real love. And i have fckn problem, that i cant laugh genuinely... im in a social situation and i laugh... but cant laugh for longer then a few seconds. Something snaps in and im soo negative again, and i spread bad vibes instantly even though i was in a good mod before.