Joseph Maynor

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Posts posted by Joseph Maynor

  1. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    @nahtanoj Ego-death: When the concept (and feeling) that I had of myself as a thing died, or more accurately was no longer capable of being clung-to.  The thing I had previously thought I was and was defending died.  Who I thought I was died, so in a sense, I died, although not really.  It's a bit paradoxical.  But it was not a fun process.  It was a very emotional process.  Like what happens when people are exposed to enlightenment: sometimes you hear people describe the table-turning aftermath of that.  That's what I mean.  I literally went through the 7 stages of grief.  And I got really angry and fearless and became a Zen Devil for a couple of weeks until I got my bearings again.  But this was not an intellectual experience.  It was more like an exorcism, although without the evil connotations.  My self left me.  Although, I found out later, not entirely.  There are still vestiges of my ego (in the self sense) left in me -- like 15% remaining.  Be careful what you wish for with enlightenment work, you might get it!  But I feel much better today being in emptiness, so it was worth it.  But it caused a lot of consternation in my life for about 3 weeks.  Watch Leo's videos on enlightenment.

  3. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    @Natasha One problem I have is when people are so purportedly open-minded they forget they are practicing philosophy.  I'm not surprised nobody answered this.  It was a good experiment.  Nobody wants to admit they are beholden to theories.  I'll keep to the practical stuff on here, the Self-Actualization side.

  6. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    I do this same routine Mon thru Sun, 7 days per week.  But I take a little 3 day vacation every couple/few months where I travel somewhere by airplane for R&R time.  So, even though I don't take my weekends off, I get to go to Las Vegas or wherever every couple/few months for 3 days.  That works for me.  I find that running my life on a consistent routine everyday gives me great momentum, like having wind at my back.  

    1.  Morning Routine (3.5 hours)

    Wake: 5:30 am

    -- Make and drink smoothie

    -- Read my Mission Statement

    -- Do Concentration work/ Do Meditation (1 Hour)

    -- Get my lunch ready to bring to work.  Do some errands around the house.

    -- Take a Bath

    -- Get Ready for Work

    -- Walk to Work.  Do walking meditation.  

    2.  Work Routine (9.5 hours)

    Arrive at work: 9 am

    -- Strategize my work day (30 mins)

    -- Work (Eat Lunch somewhere that fits)

    -- Work on my philosophy (I'm writing a book)

    3.  Evening Routine (2.5 hours)

    Leave work: 6:30 pm

    -- Walk home.  Do walking meditation.

    -- Do some errands.  Do some cooking (if needed).  Work on my exercise for integrating with my past.  Do some socializing with friends and family.    Do some work on this forum.  Do some personal development work, but nothing too heavy.  (I usually only do the heavy personal development work when I travel.)  

    4.  Sleep (8.5 hours)

    In bed for Sleep: 9:00 pm

    //

    PS: I find that being too anal with my time-frames didn't work for me, I felt too reigned-in, too controlled.  Notice that I keep stuff in time-blocks rather than having everything scheduled down to the minute.  But that's just me.  I don't like to be too controlled, and I need some flexibility in my schedule.  This is the only schedule I have ever stuck with for any length of time.  It is sustainable for me.  It took me 10 years to realize I can't do the anal schedule where everything is scheduled down to the minute.  If you pull the reins too hard, the horse will buck!

  7. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    @Markus After many years of battle (and I have the scars to prove it), I realize I don't want to be at war with my monkey-mind anymore.  That just emboldens it I've found.  And correct me if I'm wrong, but even the most enlightened yogi on this planet still has vestiges of monkey-mind lurking in their psyche.  If you gotta live with it, shouldn't you try to make it the best possible roommate for yourself?  Don't you wanna tame the little devil?  If you can get it to lay down and take a nap that's good, but if you get it to kick-up positive rather than negative thoughts, that seems to be one better!  Is that possible?

  8. Posted

    I need some feedback.  I am going to try to use that personality assessment Leo had us do into a plan to improve my work life.  Is this a worthwhile goal and plan for work self-development?  Before I commit to this, I wanna see your thoughts.  Are these goals sound or futile?

    Work Self-Improvement Hacks: (For my work -- Job)

    1.  Self-Efficacy -- Go from Low to High

    2.  Dutifulness -- Go from Low to High

    3.  Achievement Striving -- Go from Low to High

    4.  Activity Level -- Go from Low to High

    5.  Interpersonal Style -- Go from Competitive to Cooperative

    6.  Stress Management Style -- Go from Reactive to Resilient

    Do any of you folks see any problem with this kind of goal/plan for self-development for me?  I don't wanna waste my time on something futile.  If there's a futility with any of this, please let me know.

  10. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    Let's say someone put a gun to your head and said you have to label yourself as a type (or combo of types) or die, what would you say?  Remember, no loosey-goosey: you are gambling with your life.

    And I assume anyone who talks about enlightenment as a serious topic of daily discourse falls into the category of Buddhists.  Don't nitpick that category please.  Think of it as a wide net.

    Gimme some labels! Let's get down to some brass tacks here.  I wanna nail you folks down.

    And if it's a combo of schools, say that.  I'd rather have an answer than no answer.

    Remember -- No weaseling out!  Weasels die.  No hedge-words.

    And no lying just to save your skin either.  Be honest.  Let's say the gunman has you hooked up to a lie detector machine.

    Describe your influences and/or types please.  I think y'all get what I'm looking for.  And if you can't do types or schools, do teachers.  Something's better than nothing.  You can give me a list of teachers, no?  I wanna learn about you and your differences.

  11. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    Yes.  I am recovering from a similar situation.  Really the last 6 months have been a turning point for me.  I had my ego-death experience in March, and then I went kinda crazy for a while.  Then my life sorta spiraled out of control due to many reasons.  Then I hit rock bottom in early May.  Now I am sober, rebuilding my business, and re-engaged with moving forward.  But I hit the depths of depression too, so I can relate.  Just remember that a sunny day always follows a series of cloudy days eventually.  This too shall pass.  And when that sun peeks over the horizon you're gonna be so grateful.  And believe me, it does.  I just experienced it myself.

  12. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    @Nahm Three reasons: (1) I like the sense of helping people; the feeling of contribution.  (2) Also, it's funny that when somebody asks a question, I know I have an answer, but the fact that I have to think about it means that it's under a pile of dust.  It's really cool to be able to get the information on the tip of my tongue again.  Kind of like reviewing your past a little bit everyday.  You know it, but you don't really have it up front.  Having this stuff up front should be greasing the gears of my personal development.  It's like shaking up a salad dressing bottle -- everything gets tossed, re-harmonized, and re-integrated again after having been separated-out.  That's a good feeling.  It's re-invigorating.  So, yeah, I think re-integrating with my ideas again (just like re-integrating with my past) after the ideas have been lying dormant for a while is putting me more on my edge: It's making me more top-notch, which is where I want to be.  (3) And when I don't have an easy, go-to answer, that's a point of potential growth for me, so that's cool.  I should force myself to write responses to more of the questions that are outside of my comfort-zone to bench-press my mind so to speak.  Here's a good quote on point: “I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say.” ― Flannery O'Connor.

  13. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    1. Gottlob Frege -- For teaching me some ideas about truth.
    2. Ludwig Wittgenstein -- For teaching me some ideas about theory.
    3. Ralph Waldo Emerson -- For teaching me some ideas about spirituality and personal development.
    4. G.E. Moore -- For teaching me some ideas about knowledge.
    5. Confucius -- For teaching me some ideas about routines and spirituality.
    6. Muhammad -- For teaching me some ideas about God and our relationship to Him.
    7. Will Durant -- For teaching me some ideas about thinking and writing.
    8. Henri Bergson -- For teaching me some ideas about theory.
    9. Thomas Nagel -- For teaching me some ideas about reality.
    10. Lao Tzu -- For teaching me some ideas about paradox and spirituality.

    11. Leo Gura -- For teaching me some ideas about Eastern Philosophy and personal development.

  16. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    For me, I'd say 60% thinking and 40% sensing.   I need to dial-down my thinking because I'm addicted to it.  And I've noticed that the thoughts I do think are like 85% negative, so that's not a good thing.  I was thinking today, why can't I think positive thoughts more if I'm going to be thinking thoughts, why are all my thoughts mostly negative!  That's the thing with me.  If my thoughts were positive it wouldn't be so bad, but most of my thinking is worrying, thinking of some person or event from the past that I'd rather not think about.  So, I need to practice releasing my thoughts more and just sensing.  Just being in emptiness in the present moment.  It really makes me angry that my default thoughts are so negative though, and before my ego-death experience I would just stew in these negative thoughts all day long not realizing that I am creating my own inner-hell.  No wonder I am programmed to be addicted to suffering!  I wonder if my default thoughts will turn more positive as I go further in personal development.  

  17. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    I once had a teacher tell me that mathematics is more like a bush than a tree.  You should read some Wittgenstein.  He talks about mathematics being a bunch of independent theories with family resemblances rather than a single logical structure resting on a foundation of logic and set theory.  This is like personal development.  You gotta make little hacks where you can find them and get stuff wired-in where you can.  As you change, so does the theory and practice for you.  You shed skins like a snake as you get older, and stuff that you occupy your mind with will change as you change.  Even the way you practice will change as you get older.  Even your idea of relevant theory will change as you get older.  I like the idea that personal development is like a logarithmic function like Leo talks about.  If you look at a logarithmic function, the negative numbers have a very slow ascent to 1, which is the value at 0.  After 0, the function starts to ascend very rapidly.  Personal development is like that.  You put in a lot of time learning the theory and getting hung-up on theoretical issues, which is necessary to get your practice wired-in, but you're not seeing many results.  This is like being on the side with the negative numbers.  But once you get the theory handled, and your focus becomes almost exclusively on practice, now you're at the 0 and the value of the function is 1.  From this point on, the function starts to blast off as you get your practice hacks wired-in: Morning routine (including meditation), work routine, evening routine, overcoming addictions, optimizing schedule, diet, and working on my philosophy are my practice hacks.  7 in all.  These practices done on a routine are gonna get me further on the positive side of the logarithmic function, and my results are gonna blast off!  Right now, I'm right at the boot of the curve, like at 1 or 1.5 on the X axis.  I'm positioned to get to 2.  So I'm excited to be finally getting some results after all this time, after all this investment and ingraining I've done.  You gotta pay your dues with this personal development stuff.  Just like a jazz musician doesn't just pick up an instrument and start playing jazz.  He's gotta woodshed and practice for years before he sounds great on the bandstand.  But once he gets there, he sounds amazing and you see the smiles on everyone's face, including his own.  What nobody sees is the work he put in to get there -- years of solitary practice with results few and far between. 

  18. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    Make sure you set yourself up for a way to make money.  I know this is not what a lot of young people want to be focused on.  But the last thing you wanna be is 40 and broke with no retirement and no real career.  I didn't go to law school like I had planned, and in a way I'm glad I didn't, but in a way I wished I did.  If you don't have some kind of professional skill, you are gonna make the rest of your life very difficult.  I didn't care about that so much then, and now I wish I cared about it more.  I was focused on working on my philosophy.  But you gotta pay the bills and the older you get the more money you need.  Don't pooh pooh this like I did at 21.  You'll live to regret it.

  20. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    I already meditate and do concentration practice every day and my neurosis is still high.

    And I know the enlightenment stuff and try to be in emptiness, etc.  

    My anxiety, anger, and depression are all high.  I need to get those dialed-down.

    I already take a small dose of Celexa too. That seems to help, but too much of that can be counter-productive.

     

  21. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    Absolutely.  TV is an addiction and time sink.  I quit watching TV 100% two years ago.  And I'm glad I did.  It also helped my weight because I would zone-out and eat a lot while watching, especially snacks and ice cream.  Make sure if you do quit TV that you don't just increase your addiction to internet or smart phone though.  That's like replacing one addiction with another.

  23. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    I went through the same thing, and I think I can give you some advice here to help you move your ball forward and get this problem handled.  When I got out of college and started my career I was super-into people pleasing.  I even had one of my bosses make fun of me for this.  Now, 10 years later, I'm almost the opposite, well at least I was a couple of months ago when I was going through my ego-death experience.  I became a jerk -- went full opposite.  Now, I think I'm in a nice median between the two.  Here's a tip -- work on growing your self-esteem and assertiveness skills.  Being a people pleaser is a non-sustainable strategy and so is being a jerk.  The permanent solution is to be assertive. Here's a book that helped me through this problem, and I highly recommend it: "The Assertiveness Workbook" by Randy Patterson.

    And for increasing self-esteem, read: "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Brandan.

    Assertiveness is the only sustainable interpersonal strategy, and it's the middle-ground between passivity and control.  I'd say assertiveness has given me the most gains interpersonally as a practical hack in personal development.  And that  Patterson book I recommended is excellent.  There's exercises in that book that really get you results if you do them carefully.  Get it.  The Brandan book is excellent too.  But if you're gonna only get one book to start, get the Patterson book.  You gotta start taking action to root-out the people-pleasing strategy.  It doesn't work as a long-term strategy.

  24. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    Nutshell:

    Cognitive Style -- Pragmatic

    Organizational Style -- Balanced

    Energy Style -- Introverted

    Stress Management Style -- Reactive

    Interpersonal Style -- Competitive

    Openness Traits:

    Imagination -- Low

    Artistic Interests -- Average

    Emotionality -- Average

    Adventurousness -- Average

    Intellectual Interests -- High

    Liberalism -- Average

    Conscientiousness Traits:

    Self-Efficacy -- Low

    Orderliness -- High

    Dutifulness -- Low

    Achievement-striving -- Low

    Cautiousness -- High

    Extraversion Traits:

    Friendliness -- Low

    Gregariousness -- Low

    Assertiveness -- Average

    Activity Level -- Low

    Excitement Seeking -- Low

    Cheerfulness -- Low

    Neuroticism Traits:

    Anxiety -- High

    Anger -- High

    Depression -- High

    Self-Consciousness -- Average

    Inmoderation -- High

    Vulnerability -- High

    Agreeableness Traits:

    Trust -- Low

    Honesty -- Average

    Altruism -- Low

    Cooperation -- Average

    Modesty -- Low

    Sympathy -- Low

    //

    Positive Thinking: I got plenty of work to do in personal development.  No shortage of work left for me!  What an eye-opener. 

     

     

     

  25. Posted · Edited by Joseph Maynor

    I agree with this.  I just got back from a trip to Las Vegas for a week, and I loved it.  But one thing I noticed was the sensory overload.  I had a hard time just being in emptiness there because there was so much stimulation from every corner: music, lights, food, smoke, people, etc.  Contrast that with being in the forest where everything is so much more organic and peaceful.  Don't get me wrong, I love Las Vegas, it's one of my favorite places to visit and I've traveled to many places around the World.  I'm just drawing a comparison to your point: Environment does matter a lot.  It's probably easier to do personal development work in more organic, wholesome places.  Although you can practice loving your sins to death and have a nice contrast for what not to do, so maybe that's a good goose to a person from the opposite direction.  Who knows what is best.  I found it really hard to be centered in Las Vegas though.  But it was good R&R time, and I love the town.  I visit 3 to 4 times per year on average and the people there are generally cheerful, and I love how that rubs off on me.  But I also go to the forest quite frequently too.  Very often in fact.  I love listening to the birds, seeing the trees, and listening to the wind rustle through the leaves and grass.