Joseph Maynor

Please. I haven't posted a question on the Forum in a while so please be kind to this question. I want your list; don't post me someone else's list or even be so much concerned with someone else's list.

@mandyjw

This is exactly how I feel and why I kinda wanna stay away from discussing Enlightenment with other people for a while. I started to feel gross at myself too. Like, what the hell am I arguing for. It's easy to fall into the trap of becoming kind of an evangelist of your own view of Enlightenment. And that feels good on the surface, but it causes deep pain at a deeper level, and then it's hard to break free from that because you kind of get addicted to it. It's like being addicted to a partner in a bad relationship. It's a very conflicting kind of thing. On the one hand you still get something out of a bad relationship, but you also get a lot of misery too. And then I started to realize, why am I doing this? Am I really advancing the kind of ball that I think I am? See, in my mind, I had this kind of savior's attitude that other people needed my insights. But I'm not so sure how that actually played out. I mean, it would be interesting to find out if I did actually help others or if that was mostly just not the case. I've really only had a few people tell me that they learned something from me. So, here I am playing the martyr, and for what? Does it make me feel good? Not really. It kinda makes me feel stressed. It kinda makes me feel like I'm trying to prove myself. But I don't need to prove myself. There's absolutely no reason for me to need to prove myself or to fight with anyone else at all. It's sick that the Ego-Mind even wants to go there and then get stuck there beating a dead horse until either someone shoots me or I shoot someone else. This is why Zen Masters will punch you in the face. It's hard to wake up when you're stuck in the Ego-Mind. It's like being stuck in a bad relationship, it's hard to even know how to pull yourself out of that or to even muster the will to do so. Something really dramatic almost has to happen to you for it to happen. And then you go, oh shit, I was caught up. And that wasn't how I wanna live or how I wanna be. I'm so glad my Ego-Mind got popped out of that, because I was stuck in it again. I go through cycles like this from time to time. Usually it's when I'm integrating new insights and I feel like I wanna share those lessons with others, which initially comes from a good place and a noble place. But then after fighting with people for a while, the Ego-Mind kinda takes over and I become zealous and evangelical and not very Enlightened or kind as a result. And then I go back to not really wanting to talk about Enlightenment for a while. So, there's these cycles with me. I think teaching sometimes does me a disservice. Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up teaching Enlightenment one on one and just stick to my writings which don't trigger me in that way. It's that one on one teaching Enlightenment that tends to do me in the longer I play that role. Somehow the Ego-Mind gets caught up and gets more arrogant and cock-sure and interpersonally abusive as a result. But that is not the way I wanna be at all. That's not healthy for me, let alone other people. It makes me look pathetic and like a madman as well as the persons I am arguing with.

I see I'm not the only one who gets triggered on occasion.

My current master list of personal development topics that I wanna work on in the immediate future: intimate relationships Enlightenment Being just Love Emotions Right action (Ethics) Compassion Kindness Taking into Account People's Limitations Decency Enlightenment as a refuge for the narcissistic Ego-Mind Transcendence of the Ego Transcendence of the Mind Metaphysics and pictures of reality The pros and cons of subconscious programming Friendship Spiral Dynamics Teaching/ the pros and cons of teaching/ getting off the tit of teaching Being present Emotional mastery -- removing neurosis, becoming more love Understanding ourselves through relationship Family time

Ooh. I like this. I'm gonna steal this topic haha.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this. My top 10 favorites from what you listed: Family time Spiral Dynamics Finance Friends Intimate relationships Creativity Self expression -- authenticity Teaching/ being the best pointer Being present Emotional mastery -- removing neurosis, becoming more love

@kieranperez I'm not a fan of Orange either, but Orange has an integrity that Green lacks and Green has an integrity that Orange lacks.

@kieranperez Green has this Jesus Complex, but it's not coming from as pure of a place as they like to think it does. They don't see their own Ego-Mind and how that's functioning clearly. Orange is too focused on themselves and Green is not focusing enough on themselves. Green plays the social martyr so as to avoid focusing on themselves: finding a pathway to feed their own Egos and to feel superior to everyone else. Orange feeds their Egos by attaining and obtaining actual things in their own lives.

The hardest thing is to figure out what to do with your hands. I sleep on my back and like to keep my hands on my chest. I also don't cross my feet, I make sure they're straight and not crossed. I also do this thing where I have a firm pillow under my head and a soft pillow over my head, so my head is held in the pillows almost like a clam. This keeps my head from flopping around as I sleep.

Ok I see. I'm thinking more of social moralizing in the interpersonal sense. You're right, but we're talking about two different things.

Give it another shot. Maybe you can keep a notebook or something and note down all these issues so you can identify them and work on them with him one at a time. Prioritize the issues and deal with the most urgent ones first. It sounds like you guys have something there, it just needs to be tweaked. Corrections still need to be made to bring the relationship into deeper authenticity. But I think you can take the laboring oar and locate the key issues to work on and deal with those with him first, so you're not trying to do everything at once and thereby doing everything badly because you're trying to do everything at once. You can organize the issues in your relationship, put them into a punchlist, and tick them off one at a time as you monitor and deal with them. You can even make a project binder with a single page for each issue, and you can note your ongoing progress as to each issue in the project binder. That's a little hardcore, but relationships are important, and in those cases you gotta be organized with how you expend your energy and what you work on.

Yeah, but that's different from the social moralizing that Blue and Green engage in. Orange doesn't really care so much about social moralizing.

But Blue and Green tend to be moralistic characters. We might call them do-gooders. Of course their do-gooding is from their own perspective. They don't see beyond their own perspective when it comes to their moralistic tendencies.

I don't think less aware, but Green definitely is a moralistic character who tends to get wrapped up in their own views and tries to force everyone else into those views as well.

If you haven't yet transcended the Mind, you're still stuck in rationality period. It doesn't matter what labels you use like "post-rational", or I've even seen "post-intellectual" on here.

I think it's sweet that you're so compassionate. Just watch your feelings and thoughts.

Nope. I do watch all my fruits and vegetables in a vinegar and water solution before I eat them though.

Social activity is more necessary than friendships. Friendships are like blossoms that arise in social activity. But you do need some social activity -- which a lot of people satisfy in unhealthy ways like with TV.

I would suggest doing Leo's Life Purpose Course. It will cut through all the bullsh*t. https://www.actualized.org/life-purpose-course

I think we should have term-limits for Forum moderators. 2 years, that's it. Then you gotta go back to being a regular member again for 2 years before you can become a moderator again for a term of another 2 years, and so on. Otherwise it just gets kinda corrupt.

Hi hi! Just came by to say hi!

For sure this has gotta be watched. I try to be the same on here as I am in real life. I try to be the same around everybody. But all of us gotta watch the desire to be a Spiritual Ego in order to try to feel superior to other Egos and to try to place ourselves at the top of the Totem Pole of Egos. That's a real trap that I know everybody on here falls into including myself on a semi-regular basis. You gotta see it when it's happening and feel your Ego swollen with pride and realize that you're caught up.

I don't want to speak for Leo. All I will say is I think this Forum is best when we have a free flow of ideas, even if those ideas are hostile or critical to our own ideas. I think we need to be less defensive and less protective and less controlling and allow this Forum to be an open place where a wide variety of contrasting ideas are considered and debated. Lately, I have had some concerns which I have expressed already and don't want to re-iterate here. The bottom line is I think the Forum is best when it's as free and open as possible. And that means that we get to hear ideas and perspectives that challenge our own. That means that we allow in more than we omit. It's that crucible of many ideas where the magic is allowed to brew and happen. (A) I would like some clarification from Leo as to what constitutes "Nonduality wars". We need to be able to discuss ideas and hash out ideas on here. This issue needs to be clarified. I would like Leo to look at this issue and give us some clearer guidance and leadership here. If the moderators are interpreting "Nonduality wars" in a way that deviates from the intention that Leo has for the Forum, and it might also cause people to be punished in way that Leo doesn't intend for the Forum. Or maybe the vagueness of the rule sets up a space of capriciousness where some people can be selectively punished while others are not. This is why we need clarification as to what "Nonduality wars" includes and does not include straight from Leo, straight from the top. (B) I also think we need clarification of what "trolling" means. I've received warning points by a moderator for trolling whereas I never thought of myself as a troll on here, at least that was never my intention. Please clarify what trolling means and includes Leo. That's another one that's rife for abuse and capricious application if it's not carefully defined. I'm sure all of us can be accused of trolling on occasion, so we need to tighten up when that rule has in fact been violated and when it has not. (C) I also think there needs to be an appeal system in place to Leo for review any decision to award warning points or to issue suspensions by any moderator -- that are appealed to Leo by a member of the Forum. Moderation can be abused and capriciously applied without proper oversight. This is the same reason courts are nested within an appeal framework. This is the same reason why there are checks and balances in government. Unchecked power can be a problem and lead to injustices within the system. And that just taints the whole system, like a bad workplace environment for those of you who know what I'm talking about. We're all human beings, subject to human limitations. That's why we need checks and balances for human beings. I've seen some bias, and I'll leave it at that. Leo knows. I'm pretty sure Leo understands everything I've said here regarding improving the Forum. Now it's on him to decide. I've done my job as I see it by raising some issues that I see are relevant to improving the Forum for the Future. But this is his baby and he's the leader ultimately. I think Leo and I have always had a respectful sharing of ideas, and that's all this is. (D) I see an issue where critical thinking may not be encouraged enough on the Forum . I think part of our work is taking a critical review of your teachings too Leo. And that includes critically examining all teachings, including Leo's teachings. A person can do two things at once: (1) critically examine yourself and (2) you critically examine all teachings too. I don't understand why this is even being resisted on the Forum. This is basic critical thinking. I'm wondering if critical thinking is being valued enough on here now. Video on point to watch for (D):

Are you sure you're not depressed in some way?