JD8

How do you feel about dying? (in the conventional meaning). Does it scare you?

Guys, help me out here. I was thinkng about death. I’m gaining more and more conviction that there is another dimension that we enter once we leave this body. Thus, I feel like I would be rather fine with just singing off from here and opening myself to the mystery, to see what it brings. It does not give me so much fear anymore. The part that did bring anxiety was the realization that it is the others – my fiance and my family - that I would be more scared to be without. The thought that I will be alone there, in that other dimension - with noone to share it, experience with. And my fiance will be on a similar journey, separate from me, alone as well. Somehow, that is what gives me fear. That realization leads me to wondering: What is it that the other gives us, that is so important to us? Happiness only real when shared, as the guy from „Into the wild” discovered. Why is that? Both on the physical and mental/ego level – what is it that the other brings? Essentially, all things that happen to us are the same, whether we experience them alone or with soemone else. Is it that the presence of the other somehow validates the experience for our ego? Gives it meaning? A completely different explanation? I’m an introvent so it’s not like I’m just afraid of being on my own – I actually like it a lot, so it’s not about that. It’s about some deeper truth of human nature. What is it that the other ignites in us?

@PurpleTree yeah I literally ask that myself too but what is behind that 'social animal' label?

thank you all for sharing, I will continue to look love!

Guys, I'm looking for a study/research that I came across some time ago but I don't remember exactly the details or where I saw it. I think it was a TED talk given by a woman. She talked about how once we look back at our lifes, we appreciate the most the times that seemed most busy, challenging at the time, for example raising kids. I'm looking either for that piece where that insight is mentioned or for that particular study. Does it ring any bells? Bests!

Leo, but why do we, why does anything besides God exist? Around 54:00 you say that God creates all other selfs in order to have someone to share his love/amazement with. But that would be an egoistic motivation so to me it doesn't seem to explain it. Especially considering all the other stuff about selflessness that you discuss. That's why I can't catch it here why is there anything in this world rather than just love itself? Anyone can help with the answer?

Hey, can anyone please recommend a reliable source to learn about sounds that help to alter your mind / boost meditative states, etc.? What they are, how it works, how helpful it actually is, etc.

From the overuse of plastic in every single convenience store, through regular reports of animals dying due to plastic filling their bellies, to the fires in the Amazon and everything else… I watch how we kill our mother nature and cause so much suffering to the innocent lives and I can’t handle it anymore. I suffer so much seeing all of it, I cry regularly thinking of those poor lives that are given so much pain. I feel so helpless and this sorrow is starting to affect my daily life more and more. My monk said: do your best and forget the rest. Give your best effort and don’t worry about what’s not in your control. And yes, that is probably the reasonable way to go but it’s too difficult. It overwhelms me, I am not able to turn all that sorrow off and just not care. How should I mentally, psychologically deal with it? Please share your views, your experiences and advice. Thank you.

That's awesome,thank you very much!

Hey, can you please recommend books explaining what shamanism is?

+1 Leo!

Hey, can you please help me identify from which book does this excerpt come?

@winterknight Hi, thanks for doing this. I follow this thread, your blog and videos, which I find very persuasive, as well as the path you've outlined and the self inquiry method. Thanks again! I have a down to earth question. What and why changes in how you live your daily life after you get enlightened? Your routines? Things you do? Anything at all?

Just do longer and see. For me in most cases just the feeling of peace within is so much deeper after 1 hour. It really depends on the state of the mind on a particular day but most often I need around 30 minutes to really calm down the monkey mind. Achieving this is good and beneficial enough in itself but it's only from that point onwards that I feel like I'm really quiet enough to go deeper and enjoy being and the rest of the session. After a meditation like that, as compared to 10 or 20 minutes, I feel like I have a double shield of peace for the upcoming day Just do 30-60 times for two or three times and see the huge difference in the depth of peace within. Then the benefits should be clear. Good luck!

Dear All, I've been to a beautiful ayahuasca retreat in Peru. Below I share my trip report. What I mostly came here for though is interpretation. Obviously multiple questions came up after the experience. There are some answers that I give to myself but I want to know if I don't fool myself, if it isn't my ego / my limited mind that provides concepts and explanations that it is familiar with but which might not necessarily be true. Those of you who experienced ayahuasca too / had a similar experience / just feel capable to, please help me answer the below questions: - What is that thing that I connected to / blended with when I was dropping my self? - Is this the experience that we are left with after physical death? - Is dropping the mind (that I needed to do in order to blend / connect) the same as ego death / physical death? As you can see in the below report, in short my answers are: I blended with universal life energy and experienced ego death. However I'm worried that those answers might not be true, that it's just a limited interpretation of my limited mind - and that's why I came here. Few words about the trip itself and the trip report: - During the session I did have references to Leo and his teachings, few times actually. The most prevailing one was that wow, much of the stuff that I experienced, Leo did talk about. I mean yes, I know his videos well but it seemed like only at that time could I grasp the meaning of the most profound of them. And I was really really impressed with how precisely they describe those insights. I could barely wrap my head around them for myself (or sometimes just plainly couldn't, with my mind at least), and Leo is not only able to dig into them deep enough to understand them for himself and put it into concepts and words understandable to the mind but also to describe it in a way that the public can understand. I mean only now do I realise that in some cases I really understood little until I experienced it, but Leo gets as close as possible, and in terms of technical precision and accuracy - possibly the closest of all that I've come across. Thank you Leo, it's a wonderful work that you do. - Yes, by now I know that I should have let go more - There was a bad trip as described but that's not where the main insight came for so from today's perspective, its not very meaningful - The below report was written in the morning after and slightly edited later for clarity. Please also note that I'm not an English native speaker. And here comes the report itself. Ayahuasca, 9.04.2019‌ - I felt like I understood everything, how everything works. I was kind of proud because all the research and contemplation and all the understanding that I gained throughout the last few years - it was right. It wasn't IT but it was a great foundation that I could refer to now, it was pointing to the right direction, to IT. - I knew I understood it but at the same time I was aware enough to know that I wouldn't be able to comprehend it once I'm back. (now I only remember mundane things that I understood : for example why John, my caretaker said that with vipassana experience, it might be easier for me to reach there. I can't recall what was the profound understanding of the world like.) - I laughed, sometimes quite hard. I thought to myself : haha dude THIS is the ultimate game! And I was enjoying figuring it out. ‌- Then I remembered that people say that once you get enlightened, then you only laugh. There was nothing else to do, I understood it but when I wanted to grab it, grasp it - I couldn't, it was beyond my mind's capabilities. Not to mention putting it into words. - I thought : this is what enlightenment must be like. It was pure bliss. I stopped worrying how to comprehend it later, transfer to lucid life. I just enjoyed it. - About 'this' life here : it seemed like a fun adventure but one to not take too seriously, which made it even more fun. - I had the multidimensional visuals that you see in related art sometimes.‌ - I was blending with something. When I got back from time to time [and I used the presence of my girlfriend to do that] , I thought : Maybe this is what death is like or what ego death is like? - And I think maybe it was, but the moment I grounded myself, brought back to here, the moment I had a thought, instead of just blending, it wasn't it anymore. It wasn't ego death anymore. - Why? Because how can it be ego / mind death, when just the fact that I THINK (about it) , means that I look at it from an ego/mind perspective. - It might not have been good to be grounding myself because then I was loosing IT. I was on and off. Sometimes I thought : 'let's check on that body here'. I was on and off.‌ - The singing of the shaman was very very helpful to be on. Few times I thought with excitement: ok, we are so deep already and know Mr Shaman is gonna drop in with his shit too hahaha. - Of my mind, I thought : thank you, my loyal and so helpful companion to bring me to this point. I will need to leave you now and go into the further journey by myself. - And in 'this' world, the love between me and my girlfriend was kind of the only tangible, worthy thing, the only thing worthy my attention. [there was more to explore here, I felt, but I didn't]. ‌ - At times / some point I thought : Hey, maybe this is not ego death if - again - I THINK of it from ego / mind perspective. How do I know that this is not actually my ego fooling me? [I remember that this notion came to me from a YouTube comment that somehow I remembered now]. - But again : I was on and off.‌ - I was curious what was on the other side and I had glimpses of it (bliss, blending) but I felt that in order to really reach that and truly explore what is there, I had to drop myself, my ego and somehow I convinced myself that it's impossible because how I perceive all experience and this bliss too is through ME and physically through my body (which is the host of the mind) so I can't fully drop it. I convinced myself that it's physically impossible. - Probably this was my ego holding me back. But on the other hand, I feel like maybe it wasn't ego death that I wanted to taste but death itself, and that obviously wouldn't be possible, while I'm still in this body - that's why I convinced myself of it.‌ - This was probably the very bad mistake that I made [convincing myself that it's physically impossible to drop my mind] that got me to the second part of the experience - the bad trip.‌ - I felt like I was reaching somewhere but couldn't enter. It was layer after layer after layer. I did have that sensation going in, and each time I went in, I came out from the other side. Can't explain it with this limited mind now, even to myself... However it brought to my mind one of Leo's videos, even though right now I can't recall which one was it - either the one about infinity or strange loop. At that time though, I knew perfectly.‌ - I thought : OK, this is supposed be the TRUTH and I want to get there but to do that, I have to drop my mind but to drop my mind is impossible because it is this mind / body that brought me here to this point. So I need to drop it but I can't (ego telling me that?). - I had this loop all the time. Exploring the TRUTH was the only thing that mattered to me. It was like I realised that my life here on earth is like a meaningless cartoon or TV show and I'm only a character in it. I really need to find the exit, come out of the TV screen and into real life. - In such circumstances, exploring the TRUTH was the only thing that mattered and each time I was trying to figure it out but each time I ended up in the same point: can't explore it with the mind but can't stop the mind. That was my realisation. But after I realised that, my mind was going the same path again and again - trying to figure the TRUTH and ending up at the same point that was impossible to cross. Like being stuck in a riddle that can't be solved. - At some point I realised that I always end up at the same point but couldn't think in any other way, couldn't get out - it was the same thinking process over and over again. That's when the worst time was, when I was asking Jhon how much longer, that I can't stand it, etc.‌ - I wanted to go back to 'this' world. I knew it was rather meaningless but I preferred to be here rather than in that fucking trap.‌ - What was helping me the most was holding girlfriend's hand and feeling her. With time, I was realising sooner and sooner that the riddle doesn't make sense and that I will end up at a point with no way out. Thats when I was always looking for my girlfriend and that was bringing me back here. Step by step, I managed to do it sooner and sooner in the riddle and this is how it gradually faded away and finished.

Hello friends, What books and videos would you recommend to familiarise myself and get prepared for ayuahasca?

Hey, Firstly: hi to everyone. I’ve been following Actualized.org for a while now, I’m super grateful to Leo for what he does and how he is an inspirational and life-changing factor for me – and I’m excited to join the forum too! Now, down to the subject. Sometimes, as I meditate for slightly longer than my normal 15-20 minutes, I catch myself kind of drifting away – especially when listening to meditative music. I’m confused though whether it’s me getting into the flow, reaching some slightly different level of consciousness, or maybe… I just get to that pre-sleep phase, where you don’t sleep yet but you are not fully awake either. It would be surprising if it was the latter, as I’m not sleepy or tired when I meditate and most of the time I stay alert. On the other hand, it quite does feel like the pre-sleep stage. Do you know it? What is it? What do you think?