phoenix666

I struggled with this a lot in the past (and I still am..) But I noticed it getting better the more I turn inwards and do meditation work.

this definitely rings a bell. this is because, deep down, we still care so much what other people might think about us, isn't it?

Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day. (Zen proverb)

I tried my first meditation session in half lotus today. It worked wonder! I always struggled with the blood flow in my left leg after 15-20 minutes. Today it worked perfectly with hanka-fuza. I just wanted to thank you since I got the inspiration to try this through reading your journal. Keep meditating and good luck on your journey!

I would like to start growing my own veggies one day. for now it is difficult because I commute from college to home on the weekends. maybe I can try during the summer holidays, when I stay at home for a longer period. thanks for the inspiration!

wow. I would like to. have you tried? is it that simple? does it work?

Isn't that a very good sign? You apparently tapped into a hornet's nest. Now you have to face the defense mechanisms the ego is 'sending'

@Max_V I know, my parents say the exact same thing, haha. But I think that one must have priorities in life, health being one of them. yes, I've always liked cooking, I started experimenting with it when I was 15. So when I changed to being vegan I just had to replace everything with a healthier option (whole plant foods). you don't have to make god knows what, stick with the easy stuff. I am sure you find plenty of healthy, easy vegan recipes on youtube.

@Max_V Sadhguru's book? added to my book list, thanks. I still live with my parents most of the time as well. I just prepare my own food and I even managed to change their eating habits towards the better as well. Even just small changes can have a big impact if done day after day..it all adds up. While you still live with your parents you can make baby steps towards better food choices. Who knows, they may follow you into better health good luck on your journey!

I was going to say meditation as well, but since it's too obvious, I'll go with cleaning up my diet. It has changed my entire life, my way of thinking and the relationships to other sentient beings. I went plant-based (I also try to stay away or at least to reduce processed foods) a year and a half ago and it has been the single most powerful change in my life

wow, love this. I think this was one of my bigger insights during the last shroom trip. It was kind of hard for me to formulate the insight. I had this deep struggle within, it kept choking me and I kept looking, seeking, doing, thinking and trying to grasp like crazy. then I suddenly realized That I need to let go and so I did. It felt lie such a release. Like struggling up an infinite mountain, reaching the top and then jump down in total bliss and freedom <3 thanks for putting this into words

@Dan Arnautu sounds like you're the perfect strategic motherfucker (cit. Leo) As much I dislike the structure and the way they make you 'learn' things, I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to go to college. (In my country we pay very little money for it) As much as I'm looking forward to start with my dream job, I found out last summer that the college years are in fact the best opportunity to really do a lot of studying. By that I do not mean the stuff you have to learn for your exams, but massive self development work. Whilst I loved doing my first internship last summer, I noticed that with the tight working schedule there is not much room for anything else left. So you really need to build up a solid foundation before you enter the 'working world'. College gives you the opportunity to immerse yourself in research and inner work. Good luck on your way, Anicca

I think all latin derived languages strongly 'relies' on the ego, the separation from 'me' and nature, other beings. and yes, absolutely true. I would even dare to say that thoughts ARE language. mixed with images maybe? It's so difficult to 'think' outside of all those concepts language lies upon our mind. (I don't know if my point comes across, I struggle a little with my english....there you see, language itself can be an obstacle in communication)

Today I had an insight about words and language in general. I was meditating outside beside a river, using the mindfulness technique with the labeling of 'seeing' 'hearing' 'feeling'. Since English is not my native language, I mostly use my mother tongue in my head (or should I say for thinking, just to sound less crazy;)) But the last couple of years I've been watching and reading a lot of content in English. So I sometimes notice myself thinking in English - a quite common phenomenon. Whilst meditating I felt a cold breeze and I caught my mental voice saying 'so cold' in my native dialect. I labelled it 'hearing' and then I tried to savor it by repeating it a couple of times mentally, to bask in the sound of my inner voice. And hearing the sound in this raw dialect made it very easy to detach from the meaning. (I just realized that I mostly use English when I am in a state of higher awareness, interesting). The two words sounded so strange, even foreign. So I completely distanced myself from what the words stand for. I just concentrated on the pure sound. And then it hit me that words are just chosen symbols. conventions. historical? cultural? definitions of things. labels, which by definition are not the thing they refer to. completely arbitrary. yet our world, our society, our relationships, everything works based on that arbitrary, vague chosen construct we call language. Our thinking and rationality also bases on language. this makes it impossible to communicate the Truth. I know, sounds pretty obvious. And surely have been thinking about it before, but I've never seen and felt it so clearly as today. Just wanted to share this insight with you. Thank you for reading if you're still with me.

@Dan Arnautu I really like all your arguments, on point! I guess it really depends on what your life purpose is. I mean, in some cases there is no other possibility. For example if you want to become a doctor. What I mean, is that you can work on your degree with the life purpose on your mind and do the rest additionally. It really depends on what you want to be. @Anicca you have to find out whether you absolutely need a degree for your purpose or not. If so, then don't be discouraged by it. just get through with it and keep your spiritual growth rolling. if not, then @Dan Arnautu is completely right. the important thing is: if you decide to go to college, don't let yourself being sucked into all the dogmas and social conditionings that come with the educational system.

one does not exclude the other student's life can be pretty chill if you want it to be. in your free time you can work on yourself and your life purpose. I am not a big fan of the education system, since it's based on pure knowledge in the sense of learning stuff by heart much like a computer rather than on thinking, creativity and association skills. But we live in a society, specially in western culture, where a college degree opens many doors and leaves people with no classic education very little chance.

@cetus56 that's exactly what came to my mind; reality being beyond mental concepts such as time. Since our thinking is based on language, which is in turn based on all those concepts, it simply is impossible to think our way to the Truth or reality. Leo mentioned it before in some of his videos, but there is a difference between hearing it from someone and experiencing it, that's why I wanted to share it with you @Delinkaaaa I've heard about semantics before, I've always been interested in literature at school and also outside of the educational system. It reminded me a lot of the 'Sprachskepsis' of Wittgenstein and the crises with language some writers like Rainer Maria Rilke and Hugo von Hofmannsthal had at one point of their life. The inability of words to describe emotions. it's an interesting topic, I also noticed that I am emotionally attached/reactive to words.

I often meditate under the sunlight. feeling it on the skin is like being more connected to nature. try to avoid the aggressive sun between 11am and 3pm. like @Prabhaker said, no need to be a masochist. sometimes whilst meditating I feel very strong heat waves coming up. (not only under the sunlight, also when I meditate inside). then I, too, feel my mind getting hyper and distracted. When I try to resist, it only gets worse. When I surrender to the feelings in my body and observe my hyper mind, it gets much better.

@OBEler @Delinkaaaa

that's why religions have failed and turned into mass manipulation machines.

Spices are great! they boost brown adipose tissue, which highly increases your metabolism by burning fat and turning it into heat (a process called thermogenesis). so brown adipose tissue does not only boost your metabolism, but it also makes you more resistant to cold.

Isn't that one of the definitions of enlightenment? so hard to accomplish. I think I am miles away from reaching that. On my last shroom trip I was able to detach myself from my thoughts, just observing my mind from a state of pure awareness. But doing that during a 'normal' meditation session seems impossible, at least for now.

@cetus56 I know, some things are just downright impossible to communicate, one must experience it himself. Let's see where the Now will take me

do you mean whilst doing 'Do nothing' meditation? or also with the mindfulness labeling technique? it sounds fascinating, I have to admit. I'll try tomorrow. It will be quite a challenge, since I've been meditating with my eyes closed for two years now. How do you manage to not get distracted from what you see? Even if I look at a white wall, light patterns and other visible phenomena will still emerge.. and the blinking stresses me out.. I will try tomorrow, thanks for the inspiration!

I think doing it with your eyes open should help keeping you awake. But if falling asleep is not an issue, then you probably can do it with closed eyes as well. I also prefer meditating with my eyes closed. I get distracted by blinking and shifting accommodation